Tractor

Edit: I just wanted to say that the comment section has literally changed my day. I was so sad earlier and I couldn't get out of the funk. I was trying but it didn't work. Then all of you showed up on this post; thank you. Really, you guys are amazing. Thank you for making my day better

My wildest dreams literally cost less than $1 million. I don't want a helicopter because I'll just crash it. I don't want a Lambo because...I'll just crash it. I'm happily married with two young boys so I don't need girls...I'll just crash them?

But imagine not having to put back the pack of boneless chicken for the one that costs $0.30 less. If I got rich off of here I would buy the good bread when it's NOT on sale.

Look at me ballin. But I still don't know how to be rich. You have your Prada and Chanel and I have whatever the hell they sell at Costco. Maybe I'll buy a Costco. Idk.

If I have a home with 13 bedrooms and 15,000 sqft then someone has to clean that and the dust is real in life. I'd hire a maid but then I would worry about that person doing something bad.

Oh well. Hope we find out. Get the shiba logo painted on a 1996 Chevy Cavalier.

My father used to tell me stories about all the road trips he went on, and he once told me that he once drove through some state, or maybe a region, in the US where he could just drive and drive for hours and only see combines, tractors, and hay fields. I've always dreamt of going there, but I have no idea where, and he passed away a year ago, so I can't ask him. Hopefully you guys can point me in the right direction. Thanks.

Edit: Wow! Thank you to all the responses.

I work for a large company that builds roads. Due to this, we have many, many trucks. Everything from compact pickups to dump trucks to 18 wheelers.

This is a story about the last category.

So, as our trucks age, its easier to buy new ones than to keep the old ones fixed. Some of the older trucks live in semi-retirement (pun fully intended) as yard vehicles, used for personal transportation around the plant or to pull trailers around. Once they're really worn out, we auction them off to employees.

Each truck has it's own number. And each auction has it's own lot number, because sometimes the trucks come with accessories. The truck numbers do not match the auction numbers. This is important.

An old 3/4 ton diesel pickup was being auctioned off at the same time as several other vehicles, including a couple semi tractors. You might ask why I want a worn out pickup, and the answer is I'm a redneck. Plus the Cummins engine was still good, and can sell for up to $3000 in my area. This trucks number was 206.

Auctions are by silent bid. You put a sealed envelope into a collection box, with the lot number, amount you're willing to pay, and your name. So something like "Jeepsaintchaos bids $500 on lot number 206".

Which is exactly what I put down. Any other time, it wouldn't have been an issue. "Oh he meant truck 206 which is lot number 36".

We had sold alot of trucks that year. Lot numbers were high. Guess what lot 206 was? Yup. A 1993 Kenworth.

My boss pulled me aside a week later. "Hey Jeepsaintchaos, you won an auction. Go down to the shop and pay for it."

Yay me! I got the pickup I wanted!

No. No. Oh god what have i done? Sitting there waiting for me was a beat up old Kenworth. An entire semi tractor, with an excessive number of gears, an engine larger than my entire car, and enough power to move 100,000 pounds without blinking. It got 6 miles to the gallon and blew enough smoke to single handedly cause global warming. Explaining the situation didn't help. "Sir, you bid on it. Here's the paper you signed. It's all yours."

Could I have made a stink and backed out? Maybe. But I would have been disqualified from further auctions, I would have dishonored myself, and I could afford the $500. Whatever. Totally my fault.

I was saved by a coworker though, who actually wanted the thing for his farm. He paid me $600, which gave me a neat little profit on my learning experience.

Tl;dr mixed up auction number and truck number and accidentally boug

There was a farmer, who absolutely loved his tractors. He collected all kinds of tractors and tractor memorabilia. The only thing he cared more for, was his lovely wife.

One day, he heard his wife make an awful scream out in the fields. He sprinted outside to find her body crushed by a tractor.

He was mortified, and promptly sold all of his tractors, all his tractor posters and collectibles, the lot.

A few years later, he meets a nice lady and decides he is ready to move on and try and find love once again.

While out to dinner with this young woman, the room begins to fill with smoke, completely enveloping the room.

The farmer says “Don’t worry, I will handle this”, and takes a big breath in and sucks up all the smoke. He sprints outside and blows all the smoke into the street.

When sitting back down, the woman says to the man “that was incredible, how did you do that?”. To which the man replies “Oh it was nothing, I’m an ex-tractor fan”