Usually for Thanksgiving, we head out to go see family. Someone else always hosts (we typically help "sponsor" the host by paying for clean-up, etc, our home is just too small to host the 30+ folks who typically show up through the day). This year that's obviously not happening.
Other than us talking about not doing the usual, Thanksgiving didn't come up until yesterday. My kids have the week off from online school, and I was doing a puzzle with them before dinner when my husband walks in after work and says: "So did we get a turkey?"
I looked at him and said "Well, I know I didn't. Did you?"
He stared at me blankly and said "No. What do you mean? Do we need to get one still? Is it being delivered?"
I shrugged and said "I don't know nothing about no turkey."
The kids and he looked so confused, so I helped them along and said "I didn't buy anything. I didn't plan anything. No one said anything to me about Thanksgiving. Nobody offered to help meal plan, cook anything, do anything."
He blew up yelling at me about how I should have obviously known.
I said, why? I've literally never planned or made a Thanksgiving dinner in my life. The most I've ever done was help clean up or maybe peel the potato. I asked him why didn't HE plan anything, why didn't the kids plan anything? Why is everyone waiting until the last minute and dumping it on me?
He just sputtered and yelled and stormed off to his "office" and left me with the kids. We all had dinner, the kids cleaned up, and I was relaxing with some wine and a book after they all went to bed. My husband tore into me about how he can't believe I left this all to the last minute, now there will be no Thanksgiving, how could I know be heartbroken to do this to the kids, etc.
So I just looked at him and said "Why didn't you plan? Why did you wait to the last minute to ask me?"
He told me I was being a fucking bitch for no reason and stomped off to go sleep in his office. He left without saying a word this morning. I followed up with my kids and asked them if they wanted Thanksgiving. They said they didn't care because the food isn't that good most of the time anyway.
Before you ask, yup, I work as well. We split chores but there's no hardline. I do some, he does some. We both cook, and the oldest cooks as well. I just don't get why Thanksgiving is on my plate. Why, just because I'm a woman? Lmao fuck that.
ETA: Thanks for the judgments, all. A lot of people seem to think that my kids are like... keep reading on reddit ➡
This morning, I woke up fresh and rested in my own house. I got out of bed, not bothering to fix my hair or cover up any under eye circles.
My 7 year old daughter was in the kitchen, eyeing the chocolate pie chilling in the fridge. I cut a small slice onto a paper plate and handed it to her, commenting that a little pie for breakfast never hurt anyone.
I cleaned up a little while she ate, making sure the kitchen would be clean when I started cooking Thanksgiving dinner. My mother sent her first text at 8am, asking if I had brined my turkey overnight.
I ignored it.
I got dressed around 10 am. For no reason, really. Just because I wanted to. I put on makeup and a pair of heeled boots, but only because I felt amused at the idea of honoring the female right of passage on Thanksgiving where were cook large quantities of food in a hot kitchen while wearing something completely impractical.
I put our brined, seasoned turkey in the oven around 12 and boiled some potatoes. My boyfriend hadn’t moved from the couch in over an hour and I felt myself getting irritated. Until I realized that I couldn’t think of even one thing I needed his help with.
Our toddler clapped along to Dora the Explorer while the other 3 kids played tag outside and took turns telling on each other over various (meaningless) things. My 8 year old reminded me for the 40th time this week that he doesn’t like Thanksgiving food. I didn’t cringe or worry that he may have offended someone. I shrugged and reminded him that we were making frozen pizza as well.
No one showed up early. Or late. Or at all. Because no one was invited.
I spent the next few hours moseying around the kitchen, cooking and washing dishes as I dirtied them. I set our table with fine China and crystal champagne flutes. I called my mother to reassure her that no, I wasn’t scared to cook a turkey for the first time. I watched bits and pieces of a football game, hummed Christmas songs and sipped mimosas while listening to my 12 year old talk about Minecraft.
At 3:30, all 9 Thanksgiving dishes were ready to serve. We ate together, laughing and telling stories about previous holidays. We each said what we were thankful for. We didn’t say grace, because we’re not religious. We didn’t talk about politics. We didn’t talk about whether or not cousin Benjamin is getting divorced. No one made a snide comment about anyone’s ex husband. No one asked my boyfriend and I if we’re getting married.
We ate what we wanted. I ha... keep reading on reddit ➡
I 36F went through an incredibly hard time losing my baby while I was 5 months pregnant with him. This has affected me both physically and emotionally. I don't have kids and my husband and I have been struggling for a long time trying to have kids. My sister has been supportive of me, she's 7 years younger than me and has been married to her husband for two years now. She visited me several times to see how I was doing. Her husband however seems to have an issue with me personally. He's always been treating me poorly and acting like he's somehow superior to me and my husband, my husband doesn't see my family much so this wasn't an issue especially when my brother in law comes over.
My husband and I were invited to thanksgiving dinner at my mom's house. We got there a bit late because I was taking care of some tests at the hospital that needed to be done so that my doctor could see them the next day. We sat at the table my aunt was present she lives alone so she always visits and casually talked about several things. I noticed my sister and my brother in law were whispering something to each other and at some point I heard my sister tell her husband to knock it off. We were confused we had no idea what was going next thing I knew my brother in law got up from his seat and announced that they were expecting.
I looked at my husband and he was shocked but not because of the news but the way it was given. My sister hid her face in her hands and did nothing else except that. It took me time to process this while my aunt got up and started hugging and congratulating my sister. I don't know what suddenly happened to me my heart started pounding and my husband was already gone to the bathroom to wash up. I just gathered my things and took my purse then told them to finish their dinner then I walked out. My sister was sitting there the entire time and just watched me and my husband walk out while my mom was trying to convince me to stay for a little longer.
I felt absolutely horrible. I only lost my baby two weeks ago and for me to be taken off guard like that is just horrible. I got no calls nor texts from my sister wanting to talk, nothing but my aunt called me to tell me what I did was totally inappropriate and that I should've stayed and congratulated my sister and her husband. Even berated my husband for not reacting differently. I argued with her that my brother in law did it purposely and that he could've picked a better time but instead chose to spite me... keep reading on reddit ➡
My husband and I have a daughter and a baby on the way. Our daughter has ARFID, which basically means she is very sensitive about what she is able to eat in regards to textures and smell and problems just getting food down. Mealtimes have always been a struggle with her.
We were just told "she'll eat when she's hungry" and "no child will ever truly starve themselves" by everyone around us, so we tried that. One hospital trip trip later, that was proven very, very wrong. It's the worst I've ever felt as a parent. I don't think I need to say that once you have a child who has starved herself into the hospital for malnutrition, there is no "she can just skip a meal". There's child protective services interventions, there's doctors and therapists.
She finally got diagnosed with ARFID due to this and she had a few months of feeding therapy that helped a little, but after March, everything shut down and so now we're just doing our best. We try every meal to have new things, but make sure there is enough of her safe foods that she will be eating an actual meal.
I knew Thanksgiving would be a problem, so when my husband's parents had a small Thanksgiving (under 15 people) I had doubts that she would eat anything there, but I try to be an optimist. I packed some nuggets and fries that could be cooked there, and off we went. Well, she did not eat anything but half a roll as I assumed, so I cooked the nugs and fries. It's a holiday, I can't fight forever, and at her weight and the supervision we're under she CANNOT skip a meal if it can at all be helped.
This didn't go over well with the family. They accused me of spoiling her, his sister started complaining about her kids complaining that THEY couldn't have nuggets, and things went downhill from there. My husband, trying to help, said that our daughter is getting special food because she isn't normal (ie. she has a condition), to which his sister shouted back that if she had known that all you have to do to get whatever food you want forever was have the willpower to starve yourself long enough when they were kids, she would have done it too.
I took my daughter outside so she wouldn't hear anymore but it got much worse. I had to leave her with her grandma to collect our stuff to go amid screaming and insults. Now I'm fielding calls from his parents and my BIL who are now asking me/us to apologize to keep the peace. They say they understand why we did it, but his sister is just trying to raise her kids right,... keep reading on reddit ➡
So I had a baby in September. She’s the first grandchild on either side so obviously everyone is all over her. We’ll call my baby Daisy
Both my parents and my in laws gave us different outfits for thanksgiving at different times. My parents gave me a little onesie and a overall dress with a turkey on it. It was pretty cute.
My mother in law on the other hand gave us a onesie and a pair of pants, and the onesie said “I’m here because moms turkey got stuffed.” (I actually got rid of it because that’s gross)
We decided to split thanksgiving between the houses (everyone quarantined beforehand, tested negative, etc) and my mother in law immediately saw that Daisy wasn’t wearing the shirt she bought, and asked what had happened. I tried to dodge the question because I don’t want to cause a tense situation, but my mother in law kept badgering me about it, not even wanting to hold Daisy because she wasn’t wearing her outfit.
Thanksgiving lunch was really tense and when we left, my mother in law texted me and said it was very rude that Daisy wasn’t wearing the outfit she bought her and demanded to know why. I finally told her it was because I didn’t want to put my 2 month old in a shirt that had a sexual innuendo on it, and looking back at photos of her first holiday, I didn’t want that outfit involved. She called me a killjoy and rude so I just left her on read.
I feel like I’m the asshole because i could have just humored her for an hour and not have documented the outfit and that it was a gift.
My fiancé says he supported not putting Daisy in the outfit, and that it made him feel gross too.
Am I the asshole?
Edit: I realize I called him my fiancé in the post, but we got married last month. I’m just not used to saying husband yet. Just to clarify if i call him the 2 interchangeably. It’s an adjustment