They could call it "Territory Behind."
Good morning everyone!
The book of daily recovery readings that I’ve added to my morning readings on the advice of my sponsor is ‘The Language Of Letting Go.’ It’s by the author of ‘Codependent No More,’ a book I own, but haven’t read. (It’s nothing personal, I’ve accumulated a number of books that I have yet to read. I’m almost looking forward to winter, so I can stay in & catch up.)
I’ve been working on getting sober for much longer than my day count would suggest, and it’s really only recently that I’m starting to understand how relationships and interpersonal dynamics are an integral part of sobriety. A couple of years ago I would have seen this as a good book to read, but not really seen it as being directly connected to sobriety.
Today’s entry is on the value of saying ‘yes.’ Yesterday’s entry is on the importance of saying ‘no.’ I actually learned about the importance of having my ‘no’ and saying ‘yes’ in therapy over the last year, so these entries really resonated with me.
Without the ability to say ‘no,’ my ‘yes’ is meaningless. Which means that if I’m in relationships where my ‘no’ is not respected, and where I’m not allowed to set boundaries and make my own decisions, I can’t participate in the relationship in a real or meaningful way. I grew up having relationships like that with my parents, so it’s a dynamic that’s familiar to me, and one that I’ve repeated.
Once I really saw this concept in my life, it became fascinating to me. I could see it in all of the unhealthy relationships that I’ve had. I have had healthy relationships, mainly with my friends and a couple of my siblings. But in my unhealthy relationships, my ability to say ‘no’ got steamrolled out of me. My boundaries were ignored. When I told someone that what they were doing upset me, they made sure to keep doing it until I gave up. My needs and wants were always secondary to theirs. Always.
How this connects to sobriety is that I would use alcohol to compensate for the stress of being in unhealthy relationships. I’m a fairly self-aware person in many ways, but I honestly never used to be able to connect the two. I couldn’t see how I drank (or used drugs) in response to the stress of being in relationships and situations that were harmful to me, which I was powerless to change (because it is not in my power to change how someone else behaves), and felt powerless to escape (because I’d grown up in one that I was powerless to escape.) I couldn’t see it because that’s jus
... keep reading on reddit ➡So far Bernie is ahead by 50 (after edits) pledged delegates in 17 primaries and caucuses held in states and territories other than the south, and has won nine of them, while Hillary is +374 in the 11 states from the south, all of which have now completed their primaries. The overall totals are Hillary 1171, Bernie 847, for a difference of Hillary + 324.
This is a little hard to read, but the columns are total delegates, number of delegates awarded to Hillary, number of delegates awarded to Bernie, and the net difference. So, for example, in Iowa 44 pledged delegates were awarded; Hillary got 23 and Bernie got 21, for a net difference of Clinton plus 2. These are ordered by the date of the primary or caucus:
....................... total ... Hillary .. Bernie ..... net difference
Iowa ................ 44 ..... 23 ..... 21 ...... C +2
New Hamp. ....... 24 ...... 9 ....... 15 ..... S +6
Nevada ............. 35 .... 20 .....15 ..... C +5
Am. Samoa ....... 6 ........ 4 ..... 2 ..... C +2
Colorado .......... 66 ..... 28 ..... 38 ..... S +10
Massachusetts .. 91 ..... 46 ..... 45 ..... C +1
Minnesota ........ 77 ..... 31 ..... 46 ..... S +15
Oklahoma ........ 38 ..... 17 ..... 21 ..... S +4
Vermont ........... 16 ..... 0 ..... 16 ..... S +16
Kansas ............. 33 ..... 9 ..... 24 ..... S +15
Nebraska ......... 25 ..... 10 ......15 ..... S +5
Maine ............... 25 ..... 9 ..... 16 ..... S +7
Michigan ......... 130 ..... 63 .... 67 ..... S +4
N. Mariana Isl. ... 6 ........ 4 ...... 2 ...... C +4
Illinois ............. 156 ..... 78 .... 78 ...... tie
Missouri ........... 71 ...... 36 .... 35 ...... C +1
Ohio ............... 143 .......81 ..... 62 ...... C +19
Total:
Bernie: 518, +50
Hillary: 468
The 11 southern states, listed alphabetically:
...................... total .... Hillary .... Bernie .... net difference
Alabama ........... 53 ....... 44 ......... 9 ........ C +35
Arkansas .......... 32 ....... 22 ........ 10 ........ C +12
Florida ............. 214 ...... 142 ...... 72 ........ C +70
Georgia ........... 102 ....... 74 ....... 28 ....... C +46
Louisiana .......... 51 ........ 37 .......14 ........ C +23
Mississippi ........ 36 ........ 32 ....... 4 ......... C +28
North Carolina .. 107 ....... 60 ...... 47 ......... C +14
Tennessee ........ 67 ........ 44 ...... 23 ........ C +21
Texas .............. 222 ...... 147 ....... 75 ....... C +72
V
... keep reading on reddit ➡
What do you do?
