I've always blamed myself a bit for being sexually assaulted because I did not have a fight or flight reaction, and I didn't really freeze either - instead I talked to the assaulter the whole time, in what may have on the outside looked like joking and ribbing, but was really me trying to negotiate or talk him out of it. I've never had a good way of explaining this, but apparently this is a psychological tactic that some people, especially women (which is why it is understudied and not well known) default to as a response to stress or attack, sometimes called "tend and befriend" as an alternative fight or flight.
It makes me feel so much better to know this, and maybe others on here can relate. I'm also sure that someone more familiar with psychology can explain better than me, but I still wanted to share.
Edit: based on what others have said, it looks like this is also called fawning or appeasing. Although I'm sad to hear what others have gone through, I'm really touched that so ma... keep reading on reddit ➡
Seriously, I can’t think of a bigger misreading of the developers’ choices in setting, characterization, and plot development. It’s also a particularly annoying cop-out. Just because the game can simultaneously take seriously, critically interrogate and viscerally lampoon the different factions doesn’t mean it can’t also take a side. And it very clearly does.
Additionally, because I believe this misreading stems from this point of view: If you think artistic “brilliance” or “nuance” is somehow remaining neutral in a world beset by structural divisions, or being omnidirectional in your cynicism, you are part of the problem. (Edit: This last note is one the game itself sounds ad nauseaum, so it’s especially frustrating to hear it repeated as a summary of the game’s achievement.)
Edit #2: I'm amazed at the breadth and depth of discussion that my originally whiny post has spawned. Kudos to you all. I originally didn't want to disclose my own reading, since I was more inte... keep reading on reddit ➡
To clarify, I'm talking mostly about people with kids who don't have cats.
Yesterday I got a kitten that had been long in coming. And who had travel for quite a while before she arrived at my place. It was someone else who drove her the longest stretch, as they were getting a kitten from the same place. To make things easier, I picked up the kitten at my sister's place since she lived in the same city as the other person and those two are acquainted. My sister has two children. One who is turning 8 and another who is 2.
Now, I admit that my experience with cats before now has been shelter cats who have often been rather shy. Especially the kitten's step-brother who is from a shelter. As a result of this I'm very mindful of a cat's space and comfort. And I figure that what works for a shy cat works for a more social cat. Especially in a new home.
This meant that I didn't want her children to pet the kitten and definitely not crowding the floof. My baby girl had had a very tiring day... keep reading on reddit ➡
IK this seems unrealistic cause voice call and video call is a thing, but this is a hypothetical question. It never happened to me but I think about it alot.
Suarez, Kenseth, Jones, and Logano all got booted. I wouldn't put it past the coach to do the same to him.
Why is it that GW is so unwilling to produce anything positive about the Eldar? They always seem to be incapable of achieving anything. In fact, they get slaughtered most of the time. This was definitely not what they set out for two decades ago.
When I reread works by Dan Abnett in the early 2000s, the Eldar were portrayed as what we all perceive them as: unfathomable and cruel, yet also noble and cultured. They are a mysterious and wise race who consider themselves above humans, but not against the idea that the two races share many interests. In other words, the Eldar and the Imperium adopt pragmatic approaches towards each other.
In Ghostmaker, the regiments of Tanith and Volpone are deceived by the Eldar to fight against Chaos. When they realize the manipulation, they are mostly fine with that and Gaunt even suggests that the Inquisitor help the Eldar close the Webway Gate to prevent Chaos from invading the Craftworld.
In Titan, the main character is advised by the spirit of hi... keep reading on reddit ➡
Just because Angella is more accepting of Nigerian culture than BGL doesnt mean we should turn a blind eye to her abusive tendancies
I remember people making posts about how much better Angella was compared to baby girl lisa on Before the 90 days because she (Angella) was more accepting of Michael’s culture, actually enjoyed spending time with his family, and didn’t complain as much BGL. While a lot of this is true, we shouldn’t forget the abuse Michael endured while she visited him all those other times.
The way she got physical with him and yelled at him when he took her out to the boat ride that one time. How nasty she was towards him when the ATM malfunctioned and withdrew almost all her money. Just how often she would push and shove him around without looking sorry or berate him for itty bitty things.
Not to mention she’s pretty much the reason why he stopped working and just sits around at home all day because of how often she would call him and how pissy she’d get if he didn... keep reading on reddit ➡
r/gatech always has been and always will be a place to rant and vent about the frustrations we have as students, especially those frustrations towards GT administration and our classes. It is a great place to let off some steam, which is important given how stressful this school is, and I enjoy the community here.
That being said, if you doomsday scroll this sub everyday (like me lol), you will begin to feel miserable about GT. This is a friendly reminder to go exercise or get outside, call some friends, do whatever you do to feel better. This is a super stressful time at an already ridiculously stressful school and I think that is reflected in the general mood here. The world kinda sucks rn, but it is not all bad. We will get through this if we work together and are smart about it - I have always found this to be true about any issue we face as a student body.
Edit: to any incoming freshmen reading this, I know this has to be a horribly stressful time for you... keep reading on reddit ➡
We've all heard it before. "Draft Joe Mixon this year, the Bengals will run more/pass to their backs more because they have a rookie QB". But how true is that premise actually? Here, I will attempt to break down the passing tendencies of rookie QB's to find out if it is actually worth valuing Running Backs and Tight Ends on the teams that feature them.
In order to solve this question I have taken a look at every rookie QB since 2015 to play more than 8 games and compared them to their team totals the year prior.
This includes Jameis Winston, Marcus Mariota, Carson Wentz, Deshone Kizer, Dak Prescott, Mitch Trubisky, Josh Rosen, Baker Mayfield, Sam Darnold, Josh Allen, Kyler Murray, Daniel Jones, Gardner Minshew, and Dwayne Haskins (the only player here to start fewer than 11 games, starting only 7 but playing in 9 due to injuries).
I logged the targets, completions, and rush attempts by these players and compared them to the teams totals the prior year. In some insta... keep reading on reddit ➡
A player wanted an edgy backstory with a tangible buff, which none of the other players have. After I said I don't think that's fair, he insisted. His character made a bargain with the devil (not the same as warlock's Fiend patron) for "advantage on an attack roll, ability check, or saving throw" once per long rest. I said deals with Devils don't usually work well and he still wanted to proceed, so I'm allowing his once per long rest advantage, but also all his rolls have a chance to randomly fail. I've so far limited it to once a day, but at critical moments up to my discretion.
He's now come to me and said he doesn't want that feature anymore and wants to cancel the bargain (with both the advantage and random fails). Other players haven't really complained and find it entertaining that his devil flops his rolls at important moments. I told him he might be able to undo his deal later in the campaign, but for now it's part of his character and he'll have to live with it.
Should I und... keep reading on reddit ➡
There are too many very successful psychopaths and sociopaths in high positions in industry and the government (like some CEOs I have worked with), and they can wreak significant harm once they reach these positions. By the time they are mature, they are good enough to hide their psychopathic or sociopathic tendencies.
These tendencies can be ascertained at a very young age... in some cases a lack of empathy or conscience can be ascertained as young as two. If a psychological assessment could be conducted at a young age, we could allocate them their own FBI agent to keep an eye on them and ensure that do not wreak havoc.
I don't do this intentionally but I noticed that when my anxiety is heightened (from circumstances that are out of my control), I tend to spend a lot more time reading critiques about society and culture but will use what I learn to kind of build a wall between me and the rest of the world. Like I'm subconsciously gathering excuses to further retreat into myself by being able to intellectualize my way out of being part of "the spectacle", instead of using it to better navigate the real world. And I'm well aware it's my attempt at protecting myself lol. I was just curious to see if anyone else does this sometimes.
Hi, I have been thinking about this a lot lately, wanted to discuss with some fellow MLs.I admit that I have a tendency to be too uncritical of AES, and I think this is a tendency that is often reflected in comments by other users too. Admitting this is the first step to stop doing it, I think.
The constant barrage of propaganda leads to discourse dominated by debunking of myths and defending socialist countries. While this is great, discussing actual contradictions in these countries often falls short. The little bit of discussion that does happen, seems to often devolve into calling each other revisionist/ultraleftist with nobody giving up an inch on their position.
It probably also has to do with the hope a lot of us have for society to improve by advancing to the next mode of production.Personally, coming from a more nihilist attitude, the idea that humanity might not be doomed is a strong anchor for mental health that depends on these socialist countries succeeding and remaining... keep reading on reddit ➡
Chosen ones are common in fantasy books, for example, Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games is the Mockingjay, Tris from Divergent is divergent, Harry Potter is literally the Chosen One. Why do we tend to write about these types of characters so often? Is it because of the allure of a mysterious destiny? Or simply because their more interesting? What makes the story of a normal person in these types of worlds less interesting? What do you all think?
It makes me feel less excited about the new music the group is going to put out if I have just seen them do that 4 months ago.
I saw the news that ITZY is going to have a comeback this August/September and my first thought was, "wait, didn't they just come back last time" and now again, I read that TWICE is having their comeback in October and I thought it was too soon, there's not even going to be 5 months between the two comebacks.
I know that the term comeback doesn't hold it's technical ground in kpop but still it all feels too soon, like I'm still into the album they just released, I dont feel the need to check their new ones just as soon. It makes me less excited to check their new music, let me savor the music they released 4/5/6 months ago.
On the other hand, I should also note that I dont enjoy waiting 15 months for a comeback either. For me, once a year or once every 9 or 10 months is the pace I would find suitable to my taste.
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/i3... keep reading on reddit ➡
Sometimes I develop unhealthy obsessions with things that make me anxious. When I was applying to grad school, I basically researched for weeks straight whether my credentials would be enough to get me accepted anywhere, to the point of losing sleep over it. It was the same thing whenever I had to apply for a tourist visa, I’d spend weeks looking at people who’ve been rejected and why, and obsessed incessantly over how likely it was that I’d get rejected. Recently I’ve been obsessed with my IQ. I’ve done every online test I could find, and booked a proctored test then canceled my appointment, because I’m terrified of turning out average or below. I’ve done everything I can to predict my score before having to take the test.
Sorry for the rant, I was just wondering whether anyone else got obsessive from time to time, and how they dealt with it.
This is something I've realized after over a decade running a business and working with other businesses.
I'm assuming that this is because the guy who does a lot of talking, delegating and no work, tends to like people with the same values, probably without even realizing it.
In the end, if you have such a person doing the hiring, you'll likely end up with a company/startup full of people wearing suits and managing, and only a few with the pressure of doing all of the work, who'll end up demotivated and leaving sooner or later to a less toxic environment.
My advice then is that if you want a company that grows quickly, you need to have the hardworking people do the hiring. They'll hire other hardworkers too, and detect, from miles away, the talkers/delegators/people who like to wear suits and do no work.
I hope this isn’t a stupid question, I’m pretty new to all of this so genuine question.
My question is pretty much as the title suggests, I long for a D/s relationship (in the sub role) but my partner is really vanilla and isn’t naturally this way inclined. Is it possible to learn? In my gut I’m thinking no but then is the only option to include this in my life to then exclude him?
How does this work for couples where only one of you wants this kind of lifestyle? And how do you bring it up with them?
Any practical advice much appreciated
I made a very lengthy prior post about the abusive emotional tendencies that my boyfriend has just recently developed after a period of lovely sweet romantic honeymooning in the beginning, where he treated me like a princess.
I am just starting to recognize the cycles and patterns of emotional abuse.
I have noticed that the more time goes on, the more I act nervous around him - like i'm walking on eggshells, carefully regulating my emotions, not being too sad upset or angry, nervous to talk about certain topics / bring things up in fear that it will trigger another anger/ rage tantrum (where he flips a switch from being nice and sweet to berating/yelling/fighting with me). I wasn't like this in the beginning. Things were normal between us and I wasn't afraid to be myself. That's what I loved about being with him.
But now when he notices that I am hesitant, fearful, scared or intimidated by him, I've noticed that this seems to be a trigger for him as well. He sees anxiety/fear in my... keep reading on reddit ➡
I commonly see questions posed here and often the answers I see in response are answers to a question they wished the OP had asked instead.
Q: “Can I get info about X religious practice?” A: “My religion says that religious practice X is wrong, here is a link to my religion’s holy text that says this.”
Q: “Does such and such a religion teach the torment of the soul?”
A: “All religious texts were written by men and the soul doesn’t exist. Here is a link to a video that supports my view.”
These resonses are actually not answering the OP’s question at all but rather answering a different question. It may be better to answer like this:
“You could get info about relgious practice X here. In my religion this practice is frowned upon. Here is a link to a counterpoint.”
“Religion x does refer to afterlife torment, here is a link to a primary source. I believe however that the soul does not exist and as such that there is no torment in the afterlife. Here is a link to... keep reading on reddit ➡
https://www.reddit.com/r/UaBat/comments/hnbm77/its_posted_every_single_day/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf — thisthis is the particular thread I’m speaking of
Was browsing the other day, guy says “it’s annoying ngl” — I found some humor into this because he’s annoyed that people ask dumb questions yet, he takes money and makes people wait for months LOL
How about the fiasco of the chunky dunks? “I’ve got them in hand (x) amount of pairs ready to go out”! .... a month later people still waiting... who would have thought!
screenshot of my comment being shadowbanned — notice that it’s just hidden, not “removed”
.. the big deal isn’t the simple fact that he did it to this comment but I’ve also noticed that he has a tendency to do this to anything and everything that isn’t something that ma... keep reading on reddit ➡
It's something I've noticed while visiting various forums and other places for writing resources and tips. Many beginners seem to favour highly packed sentences, and I was also (and sometimes still am) a victim of that. I sometimes write sentences containing a lot of information, and I've been advised often to tone it down and split sentences. Has anyone else struggled with this? If so, why do you think that is/was?
I have a tendency to totally miss most social cues or misinterpret them, but I've nearly always been able to tell/predict people whose general intent was... not good.
Also, I've been in situations where I'm the favorite of my friends' bf (like the only person they find trustworthy) and at the same exact time, I'm the only friend of theirs who doesn't trust that particular bf bc I sense malintent. Does that make sense in writing? Lol.
Or... being the only person to distrust someone within a community (and feeling crazy or irrational for my lack of trust in said person) for a while until years later it turns out I was right.
Haha that makes me sound a bit conceited doesn't it? Well let me say that I'm often wrong in many situations (especially in social cues or understanding expressions and jokes!!)...
it's just specifically in sensing malintent that my inner perceptions turn out correct.
Anyone else experience this? Does anyone know why that would be the case?
***I add that peop... keep reading on reddit ➡
Currently on day 84 and as the title says, I'm getting quite tired of the NoFap community. While there are a lot of wholesome posts that encourage and motivate, a lot of users there really do take the whole thing way too seriously. So many say thay Porn is the reason for all of their problems, and not other factors that are completely unrelated like mental illness, economic situation, environment, upbringing, etc.
I understand that Porn is really bad for you. I understand it's highly addictive, can destroy relationships, and causes ED. However, saying that it should be banned completely because many don't have any self control is ludicrous. Alcohol is also bad for you but the majority drink without being considered alcoholics.
To add, the broscience on NoFap is just ridiculous. So many people say that abstaining from masturbation will cure your depression and anxiety. Well, I think I've been on NoFap for long enough, and it did not help with my anxiety at all. What did help is readin... keep reading on reddit ➡
I've always thought that I was open to the rights of people who belong in the non-binary gender. I did numerous school paper/join debates about it but when the issue of a transgender female joining a beauty pageant for women, I was suddenly drawing the line. I was born and raised in a very conservative community so I was really working hard to just embrace everyone without judging them for their shortcomings. It made me realize that despite my wanting for LGBTQ+ community to have every right I have, subconsciously I never thought that we were really equals. A few years down the line, so many of beliefs have changed and been challenged so when the question "What is the essence of being a woman?" came up, my mind's first reponse was "I am more than my womb's ability to carry a child". The response should be, the essence of being a woman is the ability to be human, to offer solace to those who need it and be comforted when needed. That's when I realized that if a person sees themselves as... keep reading on reddit ➡
So I've been playing the Aggretsuko match 3 game for the past couple of days. It's very much a big lick of paint over candy crush with a bonus "collect the gubbins to complete a thing" mechanic added in. Initially, it wasn't too bad about it's obvious f2p-ness, but it's very quickly shown its true face by giving one of those "your ability to win this level is literally a dice roll" type stages by level 70. One of the conceits of this particular match 3 is that by getting past certain levels, you get to watch subtitled versions of the original Aggretsuko animated shorts, which, as someone who is a fan of the Netflix show, is pretty neat! Except, it shows that I'd have to reach at least Level 990 just to finish unlocking them all.
So, whilst it's mostly just "mildly annoying" for me to play, I am still weirdly enjoying it. But I can't help but feel there's something way better I could be playing instead. So, are there any good progression based match 3's like the Aggretsuko game or Can... keep reading on reddit ➡
For as long as I can really REMEMBER Republican Presidents (Reagan) ...the left has called them Nazis.
When Trump was elected, you said he was a wanna be dictator. You said he was going to find a way to declare martial law and be President forever. Some of you who say and said this were the same people who scoffed and (rightfully) laughed when some on the right claimed that Obama would do this.
So ... what have we seen in the USA since Trump was elected? A constant invective of leftist pap from the commie boot-licking media.
Attempts to remove him from office. Again and again.
Claims that detention centers for illegal immigrants that have existed under numerous Presidents are now "Nazi concentration camps."
And see, we had a national emergency in Covid 19. If he was going to declare martial law and overstep, that was the perfect opportunity to do it. "Why isn't he doing more," you said. Because it is the right and responsibility of the state governors to deal with... keep reading on reddit ➡
I’m trying my best to get into baseball, but these commentators don’t give me any info at all.
Anytime they do give some pitch strategy info and discuss the batters tendency, it gets pretty interesting. Unfortunately, they do that about 2 times per game.
I was raised by not one, but two narcissists, who were the products of both sets of narcissistic grandparents. Basically narcissism is a passed down familial occurrence in my family tree. It is a defense mechanism we’ve built in our egos in order to match or relate to the people we’ve been raised by. I’ve experienced a spiritual transformation which showed me the kind of people who A: aren’t narcissistic, and B: provide a space of self love that gives me permission to be selfless. I’ve noticed recently however, that I’ve been triggered back in to my teenage ego by narcissists who have entered my life as friends recently. I find myself reliving my narcissistic tendencies that I thought I had completely eradicated through limiting exposure to it. But now when I see it in others, I lash out and retreat to a place of pain in responding to them. Does anyone have any experience with this or have advice about how I can confront this shadow? I’d like to be able to go to that place of spirit... keep reading on reddit ➡
Outside of this and a handful of other groups, reddit is an absolute cesspool of bootlickers and misinformed conformists.
When someone tells me that "we need billionaires more than they need us" I am drawing a line which I never intend to cross again. I just don't have the temperament to deal with such blind idiocy.
Lesson well learned.
I'm glad you all exist.
According to my therapist I can’t be a feminist if I don’t like the way I look or want to lose weight because it comes from sexist ideals. r/thanksimcured
i love being a woman and supporting women and fighting for equality etc.. but i hate when extroverted women make jokes about how they’re not “lame” like introverted girls who like to read books and drink tea. i’ve seen a couple female comedians do this (on netflix lol) i even had a (feminist) professor once who literally came up to me out of nowhere one day and said “are you aware that you’re a beta-female and men love to prey off of women like that” her TA was standing next to her nodding in agreement. it made me feel wildly uncomfortable. i didn’t even know what that term meant, and when i googled it the first think that popped up was audrey hepburn.. love of my life lol, i wasn’t offended by that part but by the obnoxious and unnecessary nature of her comment. why do extroverts get to say things like that? can introverts just walk up to extroverts and say “sweetie you’re coming off as loud desperate and attention-seeking that’s not cute honey, lower your voice and improve your argum... keep reading on reddit ➡
A "dumb" person wouldn't be able to write a paper on the Peloponnesian War, enjoy the "Bleu, Blanc, Rouge" film trilogy or accurately diagnose several psychological issues.
Also, as someone who shares those exact same traits - the mispronounciation of words and commitment to the bit rather than own my mistake - I take issue with the fandom's labeling of Britta as dumb. Also, sometimes I'm just stoned too.
What placements, positionings or aspects do you guys think would indicate a native who tends to emotionally detach himself from situations, people and just accept everything that is going on in his/her life?
An eternity in hell pinned beneath a blanket of thousands of vengeful mandibles and prodding antennae was appropriate recompense.
Hi everyone. I'm new to this sub, I'm in desperate need of advice though. Here is my cast list:
Mom, Dad, T(little sister), bf (T's bf)
The night before last night I called and connected with my sister. T recently moved out so its just my mom and dad living together at the moment. T confessed to me last night that our dad has been very quick with his anger lately and has been buying a lot of fire ball shots and drinking them throughout the day, even when driving sometimes.
The last few times she has been in a vehicle with him he has swerved and tries to text with the alcohol in his system. I want to call and talk to him about this and about how my mom is treating him. I want to tell him I think he needs help and that I'm here for him, no matter how far I am. T has told me some horror stories about our mom as well.
Apparently she has been using everyone around her lately. She has pretended she got covid and has been in everyone's faces saying it's not going to kill anyone. She l... keep reading on reddit ➡