Why is it a taboo to criticize cultures that do objectively terrible things or have objectively harmful values?

It seems like anyone who points out flaws in cultures or religions in the modern era are immediately labeled racists, bigots, etc, but how can these aspects of these societies improve if the majority of the culture itself doesn't want to or isn't ready to change on its own, and anyone else who recognizes the issues is disregarded, intentionally misinterpreted, and/or labeled an istaphobe?

Examples:

Islamic oppression of women, as well as many other cultures

Condoned lying, violence, and discrimination in religious texts

Female genital mutilation & non-medicinal male circumcision

Celebration of crime, gang activity, and unchecked promiscuity in black culture and music

Running of the bulls

American gun obsession

Karoshi

Cultural body modification that, despite causing serious lifetime health implications, last or lasted centuries (lip plates, neck rings, impaling, foot binding)

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πŸ“°︎ r/TooAfraidToAsk
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnonBobomb
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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Such a shame that it’s taboo for guys to want to feel pretty, especially when it’s this fun πŸ’πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ
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πŸ“°︎ r/crossdressing
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Woodengdu
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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In 1931, William Keith Hancock wrote a history textbook called "Australia". One of its chapters is called "The Invasion of Australia". How come the mention of the "Invasion of Australia" became taboo in the following decades?

Here is the book in question.

When I was in high school (I graduated in 2013), my teachers, who grew up in the 50s, 60s and 70s, told me that back when they were in high school, they were taught that Australia was "settled" because it was "Terra Nullius". They told me that if you mention the "Invasion of Australia" to any non-Indigenous person back then, it would be considered offensive and taboo.

Nowadays, the discussion on the Invasion of Australia has returned to public discourse and is now taught in the school curriculum. However, it still remains politically contentious.

In 1931, William Keith Hancock was able to write about the "Invasion of Australia". What happened after 1931 that has made it become taboo to talk about the "Invasion of Australia", and for his writings on the topic to be completely ignored by the school curriculum? From what I've been told, it would seem like no historian in the 50s, 60s or 70s would even dare to write about the "Invasion of Australia".

Finally, do we know if Hancock's writings about the "Invasion of Australia" back in 1931 caused significant public controversy and backlash? If not, why not?

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πŸ“°︎ r/AskHistorians
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Real_Carl_Ramirez
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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The Taboo of Suicide: A philosophical review areomagazine.com/2018/12/…
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πŸ“°︎ r/philosophy
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πŸ‘€︎ u/existentialgoof
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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Hot take: Body armor at the range should be encouraged and not taboo

You wear a helmet in a construction site. You don't expect things to fall on your head, but shit happens.

If you're in an area with strangers who may have questionable weapon handling skills, why is it taboo to wear body armor???

-This message is brought to you by the Committee for BodyArmor Acceptance and Positivity

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πŸ“°︎ r/NYguns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leroy_Kenobi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
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It’s not taboo if it’s educational
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πŸ“°︎ r/memes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scorpioskillz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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Is it taboo to ask for my job description?

Since I started in my department, my job has greatly changed. My duties have expanded and I have taken on more work. I enjoy the new work and feel like I have greater control over my project responsibilities.

I am looking to have my efforts acknowledge because I feel like they are not. Part of this I believe comes from a lack of job description which would highlight my extra responsibilities that I have taken on.

tl;dr: My work is fulfilling but it is frustrating to feel unappreciated. Would asking management for my job description ruin my relationship with them? Would they consider it offensive and it would cause more harm to my career than leaving it alone?

Looking for any advice on the situation. By the way I am a CS-02

Edit: grammar

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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I don't understand how smoking is so taboo compared to the other stuff
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πŸ“°︎ r/Cigarettes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marcushelbling
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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Online sex working shouldn't be taboo

Lately, I've seen so many basement dwelling redditors who seem to be massively against women being online sex workers (I.e. cams, only fans, etc.). This isn't to say that people aren't entitled to their opinions but the whole "sex should be sacred" or "it makes you a whore" arguments seem so bizarre and imo people should get with the times and stop being so prudent of peoples sex lives/how they choose to make money.

At the end of the day, we all sell our bodies. Whether it's a physically demanding job or an office job that requires our brain power.

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πŸ“°︎ r/unpopularopinion
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Griffon_101
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
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Has 2020 been the best year of anyone else's life, but it feels taboo to actually celebrate accomplishments as it may seem insensitive to those who have been crushed by this year?
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πŸ“°︎ r/AskReddit
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BulkyBaggage
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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It’s still taboo to come out in Hollywood

A lot of people seem to think if Taylor came out it’d be no big deal however JoJo Siwa, a 17 year old mind you, recently came out and had police called her to home it’s a cruel joke called swatting and while obviously the police left after realizing what happened there was multiple photos/videos of her forced outside of her home because what else are you going to do when there’s 50 police officers outside? I’m only posting this because recently on a post about politics affecting Taylor’s desire to stay in the closet, many people said she was just dramatic/stupid/too rich to be affected by homophobia. JoJo Siwa brushed it off in a playful way, and to be fair she’s been getting mostly support, but having that happen to you has to got be a really hard thing to experience. Most people I work with are still anti- gay marriage. It’s just ignorant to say she has to come out like it’s not gonna be a bombshell to her life.

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πŸ“°︎ r/GaylorSwift
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πŸ‘€︎ u/redsnakelover89
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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Didn’t realize how taboo leaving mid-year would be

So I’m a high school β€œelectives” teacher. Teaching is not my first career and I’ve only been doing it for a few years. I recently put in my resignation with my last day to be the last day of the semester (two weeks away.) I’m leaving for another teaching job that I can walk to at a school with a focus in my specific field. At my current school I am the only teacher in my area. The pay is really no better. I suppose I’m breaking a contract but I live in a state where employees can’t really be bound by contracts. My principal seems very mad at me. She had some very curt words on the phone when I told her I was in the interview process (the new school insisted on contacting the old school) and the principal has not responded to my official resignation email or polite follow up (we are virtual.) I stopped by the school hoping to speak with her for a moment and apologize for any setbacks I might be causing and the office told me she was available but then came back and told me she wasn’t. Strangely, I have not really mentioned my leaving to anyone else at this point because I don’t want it to get back to the kids just yet but the word has gotten around. A few people have said nice supportive things but I get a general sense from some of the other teachers and the union leader that they disapprove of my decision. The opportunity I am taking is rare and would likely never come up again. I wasn’t actively seeking a new position but just stumbled upon it. I would think people would be a tiny bit understanding of me leaving at the semester end as I teach teenagers and not young kids and they only ever have me for half a year at a time anyway. It’s not like I’m abandoning my fourth grade class. I do feel sad and realize my decision is not ideal but I’m potentially leaving for a position I can walk to for the next 20-30 years and the school literally has my area of teaching in their title. I thought my colleagues and administrators would be slightly more understanding. Is leaving mid year really this taboo in education? What do you think of teachers who leave during the year?

Edit: for some reason in the comments people keep assuming I’ve worked here for a few months. It’s been two and a half years. When I originally started I started a month late into the school year when their original hire quit.

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πŸ“°︎ r/Teachers
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaperSpoonTooth
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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Hey I know you wanted me to come with you on this vacation and stuff but... I just feel kinda weird in your cousin's body. I think her parents think something is happening between us too... W-Wait... y-you wanted to confess something? (Open RP Sorry about Taboo subject)
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πŸ“°︎ r/FemalePossession
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElfCabin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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My setup. What should I call it? I think having desktop icons are a bit taboo here but meh at least they're organized. v.redd.it/7bybvppf7zd61
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πŸ“°︎ r/Rainmeter
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrappyCrap122
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
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I'm tired of weed being a taboo for most people

Have you realized people see too bad that someone smokes weed? Like, every time you go to another house they tell you "want to drink something?" and that's not "bad", even though drink can literally kill you while weed can't. But if someone just smokes a joint once a few instantly to the general view he is a desperate fool or a drug addict.

Weed is just something from nature, something the creation itself made it. Is there. Why people see it so bad?

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πŸ“°︎ r/StonerThoughts
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Banned_of_reddit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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Programmers Taboo..
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πŸ“°︎ r/ProgrammerHumor
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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Taboo Season 2 Renewal Confirmed: Possible Release Date in Late 2021 or Early 2022 - Stanford Arts Review stanfordartsreview.com/20…
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πŸ“°︎ r/TabooFX
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rumi4
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
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Is it normal to be a heterosexual girl but not wanting to have sex with men and finding it disgusting, degrading and violent? I dont have any sexual trauma, i'm not religious and sex never was a taboo to ne
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πŸ“°︎ r/TooAfraidToAsk
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Issexevenreal
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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Chinese Gift Taboos
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πŸ“°︎ r/China
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jexlan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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The taboo on the prequel era needs to stop.

Aside from the S7 of TCW, since Disney bought the franchise we only got OT era content (I don't care if the sequels are about fIrSt OrDeR vS rEsITeNce, it's the exact same thing, just a souless and shittier version of the OT), and I'm sick and tired of it. The prequels are far from perfect, no one is saying otherwise, but in the end they proved to be a successful product that expanded the lore of the galaxy by staying respectfull to the OT, and brought in a whole new generation of star wars fans. There is a really BIG difference in beeing critical of something or just straight up shitting on it, and nawadays the only people still shitting of the prequel era as a whole are disney shills and OT purists. But the VERY VAST MAJORITY of the fandom is at least fine with them. Just look at the success of TCW, or even better, look at EAs Battlefront 2: after the Geonosis update the game basically doubled it's player base. The fact that r/PrequelMemes is the most popular star wars subreddit should be a pretty big indication of that, sure many redditors follow it only for the memes, but i bet the vast majority of people there enjoy the prequels unironically. The way disney has done their best to ignore the prequel era proves even more how out of touch they are with the fandom.

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πŸ“°︎ r/saltierthancrait
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Randaches
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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Prompt: To combat the taboo on Voldemort's name and prank his sympathizers, the Weasley twins create a spell and a potion that cause the target to say "Voldemort". Only the Order of the Phoenix and others opposing Voldemort know about these developments.

Chaos ensues after deploying these new pranking tools. Some of Voldemort's sympathizers start getting killed, including a couple high profile supporters. The unintended attacks begin to undermine support for the Voldemort regime and leads to "gray/neutral", and even a few "dark", pureblood families to leave Magical Britain, causing the Dark Lord to behave even more erratically in a downward spiral of events.

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πŸ“°︎ r/HPfanfiction
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A2groundhog
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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Let's talk about music that you like (or find interesting) that is too weird or taboo to share with anyone you know.

This post is inspired by the band Igorrr. How can I possibly suggest this band to anyone? "Sooo it's IDM and death metal, and opera, with the occasional accordian, 8-bit, and Indian music for flavor.. and other stuff." It almost feels transgressive just listening to it. That said, I have been transfixed by this band since I discovered their existence about a month ago. I feel like I can't recommend it without being perceived as a psychopath!

This got me thinking about what else is out there that people listen to but feel like they can't really share with anyone they know (save for the special one or two people who understand).

I'll give a few more examples.

A classic example is Captain Beefheart. How can you describe it to people who don't get it? "It's music but it's also art, and also a state of mind or something." There is a a kind of philosophy embedded in the music. My closest approximation as a label would be 'primitive surrealism'? I love it. However, everyone who I've ever shared his music with is just completely baffled as to why I would ever listen to this.

Another classic is Sun Ra. "It's an album that's designed to heal mentally ill people. And it is free jazz. And he thinks he's from space."

Additionally I would like to include in this discussion music that has been produced by taboo/terrible people but is actually either good or simply interesting music.

Charles Manson's music is at least interesting, in the context of historical events.

Or there's Burzum. The originators of Black Metal, who you know... burnt down ancient churches and were racist and murdered a guy.

What weird or taboo music do you have something to say about? (Or put another way, what music do you listen to that might make other people think you're an insane person?)

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πŸ“°︎ r/LetsTalkMusic
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mossyskeleton
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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I saw this on my way to office. Why is Nazi symbolism not treated as a taboo here in PH. Thoughts?
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πŸ“°︎ r/Philippines
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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The taboo of OCs as actually important characters is terrifying

Am I the only one bloody terrified of having an OC as a main/ever-so-slightly important character in any fic?

Usually when I'm writing, my motivation gets me through the first three or so chapters before my will to keep writing shifts over to depending on kudos and comments to remind me that maybe my story isn't shit after all--but most if not all the main character OC fics I've come across that aren't the super popular 10000+ kudos stories that have just ascended above the stereotypes are unpopular/completely skipped over by most of the readers in the fandom, even if the writing itself is the most amazing gift from the heavens.

I'm a writer, for heaven's sake. My self esteem is nonexistent. I'll write something and start doubting myself an hour later. If I don't have stats to check and recheck every other hour my motivation plummets. And no matter how much I love an idea, a bad reception will kill every ounce of affection I hold for it.

It's stupid, I know, but I can't help it and I can't see myself changing anything soon, so I'm stuck in this loop of waking up at 3am with an incredible idea, then reminding myself that it doesn't work in the morning when I can actually think logically.

It's painful :')

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πŸ“°︎ r/FanFiction
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tee_kettle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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Tom Hardy - Taboo
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πŸ“°︎ r/LadyBoners
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alumnieib
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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Sex shops shouldn't be as taboo and sketchy as they currently are

I hate that in order to purchase sex related products you either have to use over priced websites that take forever to ship their products or you have to go to a gross sex shop. Sex isn't dirty thing, every couple takes part in it, so why in hell do sex shops make themselves as seedy as possible. To get quality lube, or sex toys you have to utilize the internet or sex shops. Nobody wants to use the shitty ky jelly they sell at cvs or pay a shit ton in shipping to get their products online. I dont understand why there aren't adult stores that can cater to normal people. They all seem set up drawn in creeps and prevs, the vibe repels most people. Any time I have to go to one because we've ran out of silicone lube or whatever (and we need it asap), I feel embarrassed even turning into the parking lot of an adult store. For the love of God just make a chain of stores that are cut and dry with selling adult items. No "private booths", no creepy employees, a clean environment, discreet packaging etc. Everyone has sex and plenty of people like sex toys, there isn't any reason why every sex shop has to be gross as hell

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πŸ“°︎ r/unpopularopinion
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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*Opinions Needed* if you could show your friends one episode of Drag Race to get them invested in the franchise, what episode would it be? I want to convince from newbies who have always thought of it as taboo.

This is a question about the franchise. If you could show one episode off to share with straight people, inexperienced gays, or non-binary they who have never seen the show... which episode would you choose? I want to convince locals around me to watch the show and seem intrigued by my merch. Any help?

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πŸ“°︎ r/rupaulsdragrace
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jurisclicktion
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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Got annoyed at not being able to get a ps5 and so I decided to ascend. I am now among the enlightened (yeah I know prebuilts are taboo here but still lol) v.redd.it/k4mhmm43bbf61
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πŸ“°︎ r/pcmasterrace
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tomriddle30
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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Is putting on dark face paint considered offensive? Or only when it is to mock black people in a shitty way? Is the whole blackface thing something a niche of people are getting offended by, or is it a generally taboo thing?

Hope the question is clear enough

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πŸ“°︎ r/AskAnAmerican
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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Leftists successfully persecuting those who questioned election results, aiming to destroy careers -- After 4 years of Democrats claiming Trump’s election was illegitimate based on a phony charge of Russian collusion, suddenly, questioning a presidential election is taboo. americanthinker.com/blog/…
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πŸ“°︎ r/conservatives
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πŸ‘€︎ u/guanaco55
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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"Any body-part can be sexualised, but that doesn't mean they always have to be." - Thoughts on the sexualisation of body parts, taboos and mental self policing that causes, and the freedom we could have in a nudist society free of body shame medium.com/nude-positive/…
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πŸ“°︎ r/nudism
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JEGography
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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Taboo - Four of a kind
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πŸ“°︎ r/touhou
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πŸ‘€︎ u/taptapking
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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Is this real attraction or just a taboo fantasy?

I'm a 19 year old guy who has usually thought of himself as straight. However about a year and a half ago I started getting turned on by the thought being with a much older man in his 50s, or maybe even 60s. The idea of being a bottom and sucking an older man's cock and getting fucked by him is what turns me on. This fantasy seems to come and go. Some weeks I think about it quite a lot, at other times I forget about for a while.

I don't have a problem with being gay/bi but I'm not attracted to guys my age and I didn't have any attraction to men until this fantasy popped into my head. So I guess what I'm wondering is if I'm just getting turned on by the taboo nature of it rather than the actual fantasy? I won't be pursuing anything soon because of the coronavirus anyway, but I don't know if this is something I should explore after things open up again or just keep it as a fantasy.

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πŸ“°︎ r/gayyoungold
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Curi0us-Guy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
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Since its taboo to ask at work... How old are you? What discipline are you in? How much do you make? And what is your 401k balance?

I'm honestly just trying to get an idea of where I am, where my peers are, and where I should be.

To be first...

I'm a civil on the west coast making $115k/year. I am in my mid-30s with 10+ years of experience. My 401k balance is about $150k right now.

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πŸ“°︎ r/AskEngineers
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πŸ‘€︎ u/qsdls
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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Leftists successfully persecuting those who questioned election results, aiming to destroy careers -- After 4 years of Democrats claiming Trump’s election was illegitimate based on a phony charge of Russian collusion, suddenly, questioning a presidential election is taboo. americanthinker.com/blog/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/guanaco55
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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PLEASE HELP - struggling with taboo fantasies for 10 years and now I’m getting married

PLEASE don’t let this get lost!! This is something I’ve been dreading to post for over 5 years now but I really need advice on this and I don’t know where else to go!

Some general information, I’m 20F and straight. It started when I was 11, I don’t know exactly how I came across it but I had literally just learned about sex and somehow discovered taboo porn and sexual fantasies on the internet. Just to clarify, when I say taboo, I mean incestuous. Hear me, I have NEVER looked at any of my own family in a sexual way, it was just the taboo idea that made me curious. I knew it was wrong, but as a child I was curious and found myself masturbating thinking about it. Before I knew it I climaxed for the very first time.

Ever since, that’s all I’ve been able to think about when trying to climax. It’s become a terrible, unbreakable habit, as I’ve known nothing else. While I’m masturbating with my fantasy I’m indifferent to it, but immediately after I’m repulsed by myself... It’s a vicious cycle I don’t know how to break.

I have never told anyone in my LIFE about this. How could I tell my family? I grew up in a reserved religious household and I try to hold myself to those beliefs as well which makes this whole thing 1000 times worse. I had SO much remorse at first and constantly begged God for forgiveness, but as the years went on in the back of my mind I kept thinking to myself β€œI’ll break this habit before I find the man I’m going to marry.”

Spoiler: I never did.

I never dated in my life until I met the absolute love of my life in college, and here I am, almost 21 and about to marry him in 4 months. He has been my first in every way. (He and I have done foreplay but we have not had actual intercourse yet.) I love him to death and it would absolutely break his heart for him to know about this... And the foreplay has been wonderful β€” he always knows exactly what to do! But for some reason I just can’t cum thinking about him, even when I’m by myself, and that breaks my heart...

Every time I’ve climaxed while my fiancΓ© and I were β€œgoing”, I’ve been imagining those taboo scenarios, just to have the experience of cumming with him - to make him feel like he’s doing a good job, because he is! But this is INCREDIBLY damaging!! Something is deeply mentally wrong with me and I don’t know what to do - I don’t want to carry this awful problem into my marriage! I just want to learn how to climax thinking about him only! PLEASE HELP!!

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πŸ“°︎ r/sex
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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Chinese gift giving taboos
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πŸ“°︎ r/taiwan
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crybllrd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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What food taboos do cultures in your world have?

Like the title says, what food taboos are in your worlds? Is there a specific reason or is the taboo so old no one remembers the original reason anymore? In my world, the RasdΓ­shan people don't eat red meat. The taboo started with a ban on eating monkeys because they're too similar to humans (there's also a taboo on cannibalism) and over time expanded to anything furry.

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πŸ“°︎ r/worldbuilding
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Restuva4790
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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Taboos or Social Norms at BC?

For a class but looking for examples... are there any societal norms in place at Boston College that we as students just are expected to follow? What would be considered taboo at BC?

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πŸ“°︎ r/bostoncollege
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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Just got banned from r/Pakistan for raising a taboo issue

It wasn’t even a post. I replied to someone's comment who was joking that they never cared about BD and never thought is as a part of pakistan. I raised the question why it was then so important for them that they even went as far as carrying out a genocide.

They attacked me with from whataboutism like why bangalis killed biharis, to ouright denying a genocide of more than a lakh.

I admit i got triggered a bit and mocked them about kashmir. And now they banned me permanently.

I admit the experience wasn’t bad in the sub. Most of the time it was civil, but this one just they don’t wanna take i guess.

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πŸ“°︎ r/bangladesh
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Breached_Wall
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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Can you explain to me why the wedding rings are so often a taboo

I'm the WS, DDay was almost 3 years ago. I had an ugly affair for about 3 months. My husband stayed with me, we tried to reconcile, I did pretty much everything he asked for, but he will never forgive me (I also don't expect that anymore and I guess I don't deserve it either).

If you're interested in the whole story, here's the link: https://www.reddit.com/r/AsOneAfterInfidelity/comments/km16hi/why_have_i_been_so_stupid/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

So we had really beautiful wedding rings. Shortly after DDay my husband told me that he never wants to wear those rings. Half a year later we did a small "new wedding". It was a really beautiful idea, but I think my husband wasn't really ready for it and was in an awful mood the whole day. He surprised me with some new, simple, affordable rings. I loved the old rings, but it's my very own fault that he's not able to wear them anymore. I was glad that I could at least continue to wear a ring with this man.

Anyway, his new ring broke a few days ago, and we are not able to afford new ones. I carefully asked if we could wear the old ones until we can afford new ones, but he just said no.

I often read that there's a huge thing about wedding rings combined with cheating, even more than stuff like wedding pictures and so on.

Can someone explain to me why the rings are often such a trigger?

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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I mean, what are the odds of a parent openly talking and normalising about women's suffering and the taboos of sex in the society?
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πŸ“°︎ r/memes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SimpleNeeds_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
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[16M] Heyo, I'm pretty bored at the moment and would be down to talk to some new people and maybe make some friends (I know that sounds cliche). Anyways, I like games such as titanfall 2 and battlefield (I'm on Xbox) and I do have a much more taboo sense of humor
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πŸ“°︎ r/TeensMeetTeens
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πŸ‘€︎ u/a_cynical_D00D
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
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Was your sexuality subverted by abuse - taboo, perversion, and self-degredation?

I am trying to understand how abuse influenced my sexual preferences and identity. From my own experience and through discussions on this sub, my assumptions are that abused children: are sexualised early, can develop an early interest in porn, may become hypersexual, can develop more extreme 'ideas' about sex, and so on.

As a child, I identified myself as a pervert and sexual fantasies were pretty extreme; this continued into adulthood. I do remember that as a child I felt that there were no limits to my imagination and I felt depraved. As an adult, I have sought out bdsm experiences in an effort to reconcile my inner self-perception as a deviant, with consenting adult practices.

I am learning that I cannot satisfy my inner 'lust' for sexual expression and that this inner drive is an illusion, albeit a convincing one. Now, if I watch some porn, I feel conflicting messages: a desire for utter degradation, a feeling that I have limitless depravity, a memory that as a child I felt utterly perverted, and a feeling that integrating these feelings is a path to healing.

I acknowledge that csa is horrific and the consequences awful, but I can't understand why my fantasies were so much more extreme than the abuse I remember. I feel that the depravity I felt as a child and that in my adult fantasies are actually a reaction to abusive experiences; I feel that I internalised extremely dark messages about myself during abuse.

I also feel extreme cognitive dissonance when I engage with porn nowadays and a sense of failure and self-disgust after watching porn.

My question and, I suppose thesis, is as follows: does this apparent mirroring between self-disgust as a child and my cognitive dissonance as an adult offer an opportunity to heal? Are all our extreme manifestations of sexualisation attempts at self-healing or understanding? I know they say that we attempt to relive the abusive experiences, but my question is why and to what end? Would psychosexual therapy be a good start?

EDIT: This article was suggested in the comments below; it is a very interesting read.

https://www.havoca.org/survivors/sexuality/sex-therapy/

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πŸ“°︎ r/adultsurvivors
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πŸ‘€︎ u/un_wobble
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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THE DECADES-LONG UFO TABOO THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION WILL HAVE TO FACE thedebrief.org/the-decade…
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πŸ“°︎ r/ufo
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ididnotsee1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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TIL that in Tang Dynasty China (600s-900s AD), women wearing men's clothing was a fashion trend. Normally a taboo in China, it was made acceptable by the Li Clan's (the Imperial Family's) women- notably Princess Pingyang- who actually commanded armies during the Dynasty's foundational wars. newhanfu.com/what-did-the…
πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ“°︎ r/todayilearned
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Khysamgathys
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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The New South Wales Government Australia advises mutual non contact masturbation to avoid contracting Covid 19 - does this forcast the great sexual reset and sexual taboo? Please find the link to govt page on masturbation provided in text section accompanying this title.

Here is the link to NSW Govt Health Department website page "Playsafe" entitled "Is mutual masturbation the safest sex during COVID-19?" https://playsafe.health.nsw.gov.au/2020/11/05/is-mutual-masturbation-the-safest-sex-during-covid-19/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lookswithin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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How can Pornhub take exploiting desperate women for sex to the next level? Make them pregnant! This is up there with the 'exploited homeless teen virgin' plotline from 'Pure Taboo' for vileness. Pornhub normalizes the fantasy of exploting vulnerable women for sex. Everyday.
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πŸ“°︎ r/women
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LaplandForever
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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What is the most taboo things to do in US?
πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ“°︎ r/AskAnAmerican
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sanchez_05
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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