The surgeon asks if he wants the good news or bad news first.
The man excitedly
replys replies, "I'll take the good news first."
The surgeon tells him, "well you're about to get a new dog."
I walked into the ER at 4am, doubled over in so much pain that I could barely walk or talk or see straight. I was hyperventilating and so anxious that my muscles were locking up. I really didn't like hospitals, and I certainly didn't like the fact that something was clearly wrong enough for me to be there. I was only 29.
You, the ER doctor on rotation that night, set me up with IV painkillers and had me sent off for scans. The meds helped calm me down, and numbed everything enough that I could stop crying. But when you returned to my bedside, you brought a surgeon with you. You both explained the scans looked normal, my blood work was fine.
And yet, I was clearly NOT fine. I was in a lot of pain. So you told me you wanted to do exploratory surgery with the intent of removing my ovary, gallbladder, or appendix, most likely.
I said ok.
When I awoke from surgery, I was told my appendix had been removed due to some discoloration, but everything else looked healthy. I was to report t... keep reading on reddit ➡
Aaaand another game I'm not buying
Replacing my eyes with a cat's eyes might not have been the best idea considering that I finally know why my cat stares off into the corners of the room all the time.
As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the duck's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, “I’m sorry, your duck Cuddles, has passed away.”
The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead,” replied the Vet.
“How can you be so sure?” she protested. “I mean you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.”
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room.
He returned a few minutes later with a Labrador.
As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.
A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back... keep reading on reddit ➡
“Can I help you?” He asked.
“I keep thinking that I’m a moth.” I replied.
“You probably want a Psychiatrist for that.”
“Yeah, I know.”
He looked confused. “Then why are you here?”
“The light was on.”
I had a mastectomy on March 3rd. And then breast reconstruction on May 6th. And then an emergency revision to my breast reconstruction on May 20th. I’m healing now and things are better. Yesterday, my Peloton bike got delivered and my plastic surgeon cleared me for exercise. He asked how much I wanted to lose and I said about 100lbs and I would fit in my wedding dress again. Conversation moved along and I said I would need to see him again after I lost the weight so he could fix my chin. This was mostly said in jest. I have a weak chin and I’ve always hated it. He told me “you lose 110lbs, and I’ll fix your chin for free!” I asked him if he was serious and he said absolutely. He’s one of the best plastic surgeons and this is a huge offer. So that’s my big goal. 110lbs. I’ve started exercising again, counting calories and I’m starting slow on IF. I feel like I need to tape up pictures of chins around my house for motivation!
So here I am. I am about 290lbs. GW is 180lbs. My biggest sou... keep reading on reddit ➡
I interviewed several surgeons for endometrial excision surgery. In one case, I few 2,000 miles because the surgeon had written a well-regarded book that just happened to show he was a sensitive, compassion, brilliant surgeon.
After talking with him for 90 minutes, I realized that whoever wrote 'his' book wasn't him. This guy was gruff, dismissive, interrupted me, refused to give me information I asked for, and was condescending. I also felt totally creeped out near him, like he was a predator and I was prey. His office was in a very expensive part of town and he had famous clients, but I was still creeped out.
Anyways, in spite of his stellar reputation I was considering a hard pass. Then I googled his name and the word "malpractice." Turns out he'd lost a million dollar malpractice case. My second choice surgeon was a semi-famous guy on the west coast. I googled him and found absolutely gruesome malpractice cases.
Those were the two surgeons everyone always raved about, and I real... keep reading on reddit ➡
Number one. Steady hand. One day, Kim Jong Un need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Kim Jong Un die! SSD very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life.
My big secret. I kill Kim Jong Un on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
Like my arms get tired if I have to hold my phone up too long lol so do surgeons get to rest their elbows ? Especially if there’s a really precise survey with heavy tools ?
I saw a thread asking about Jerry's age and it got me thinking. According to his wiki page, he's in his mid 30s to early 40s. That means he would have been between his mid-teens to early 20s when the infections started. It takes about 15 years after high school to become a neurosurgeon (4 years undergrad + 4 years med school + 6 to 7 years of residency training). At best, he would be just starting med school and I think it's safe to say that he wasn't close to a fully fledged surgeon before the world ended.
I guess the explanation could be that someone taught Jerry neurosurgery during the zombie apocalypse although I'm not sure how feasible that would be.
Also, in tlou 1, Jerry appeared a lot older which made a lot more sense
I had a consult today about having my wisdom teeth removed. The oral surgeon's assistant took his mask off while in the room with me and previously said "it's America, do what you want." Certainly didn't make me feel safe to have surgery there, especially considering I'm in one of the worst states for COVID and was nervous to go to the dentist in the first place. I shouldn't have to feel unsafe next to a medical provider. Should I do anything about this?
Edit: Also, since I don't really trust this place, can someone verify that my wisdom teeth need to come out?
Excuse the possibly incoherent text. I'm fading in and out due to the amount of morphine I'm on.
I (27M) suffered from a condition called Pectus Excavatum, a defect in the sternum that causes the chest to sink inwards. It can apply pressure to the heart and lungs which can lead to complications with breathing.
The condition is usually treated early on when the defect is first noticed in middle school or highschool (13-15yo)
The cardiologist I saw for the procedure advocated heavily against corrective surgery when I met with him 14 years ago. The procedure he was aware of involved cutting the sternum, breaking ribs and installing a metal plate.
Many patients who had this procedure done experience chronic pain afterwards and their quality of life decreased . While I experienced shortness of breath and chest pain during exercise, I weighed the options and decided not to go through with the surgery as I could lead a relatively normal life that I could jeopardize with the procedure.
6... keep reading on reddit ➡
I'm going to post more about my experience later but the short of it is I had my GCS on July 21st. I'm officially eight days out of OR and my gosh. How could things be any easier than they have, let alone any harder?
So I had surgery with Dr. Gray, Dr. Broghammer, and Dr. Ponnuru, at the University of Kansas. The next morning after surgery Dr. Gray popped in to talk and she informed me that my surgery went extremely well and that I had plenty of skin for vaginal depth and labia. According to her words, I was an ideal patent.
Well, today I had my packing and catheter removed. They showed me how to dialate and right away the depth was apparent. The nurse pushed the dialater in and I had to basically ask if she had started. She asked if I had any pain, which I didn't. She also noted that I had no blood on my dialater when she removed it.
I also got a quick look around at my new anatomy and I can say everything looks to be in excellent placement. Just very swollen still which I'm told w... keep reading on reddit ➡
There are a couple of things I noticed that I don't mention in the video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ki6wLQzUVFQ)
Goodness, hello there.
I was wondering if anyone would consider sending a card to provide a sad surgeon with some joy. I have been so sad recently.
My work environment is completely toxic and overwhelming, and I’m not even talking about the deadly disease or demanding, frequently abusive, patients.
My colleagues have succeeded enormously in ostracising me from the rest of my peer group, and despite terrible urges to quit both the job and the greater universe for nearly a year, I’m still here.
I welcome any random acts: poetry, quotes, stories, jokes, facts, lyrics, doodles, anything.
I have been preparing my own little packs for r/randomactsofmail (as per #rule3) but there’s not quite enough to offer yet, and I’m a bit desperate for any meaningful contact. There are only so may times one can burden ones friends.
I like: learning, wicked humour, musicals, board games, walking, Lego, reading 2nd hand books, campaigning for climate activism, cheese - to name but a few things.... keep reading on reddit ➡
This is the third patient I've had come up from the OR with what I can only describe as random extra staples inches and sometimes feet away from the operative site with no obvious purpose. In this case there were three of them in the head 4-8 inches away from the operative site which was skin glued on the neck. I've also had a couple other patients with large abdominal incisions with a few stray staples up near the collar bone.
Do we use staples to secure hair and drapes and then just leave them in after surgery? My personal theory is that there is a guy that needs to be signed off on staples that the surgeon doesn't trust anywhere near the operative site.
I told the charge who paged the surgeon's NP who called the surgeon who had no idea staples were there in the first place, and asked the NP to remove them.
Anyone else find it incredibly boring and unoriginal that literally every character’s family member on the show is a fucking surgeon?!? Like I’m pretty sure it’s okay if you have a brief role and don’t cut people open with a scalpel.