I have been living with my new wife and stepdaughter for about 6 months now. She’s 19, almost 20, and I have three sons aged 18, 16 and 15. She’s a really good kid and she’s a good influence on my sons, I really enjoy having her around. My wife and her daughter moved into my house and sold theirs. My stepdaughters father isn’t present in her life, nor is my sons’ mother. All four children share a bathroom.
My sons have never lived for a long period of time with a woman, nor have any of them had long term girlfriends. They had short visitation periods when they were younger but never longer than an hour, so living with two women has been unusual for them.
My eldest son, 18, came to me last week and told me that his stepsister disposes of her used sanitary products in the trash can they share, but doesn’t use toilet roll or sandwich bags to disguise what they are, and it makes him uncomfortable which I think is reasonable. My sons are teenage boys and don’t want to see their stepsiste... keep reading on reddit ➡
Sorry for the appalling title. My stepdaughter is living with my husband and I for the next year. Shes an educated young professional who’s saving up to buy her own home.
Since she’s moved in with us (past 3 months) she’s become increasingly snappy and unhappy with how her dad and I run our lives. We aren’t environmentally conscious enough because we don’t compost our waste, we are negligent because we leave lights on when we leave our home for security reasons, we should switch to electric cars, we are contributing to the inhumane treatment of cows by consuming dairy, the list is endless.
My cat Mango is getting to be an old ass man and he has lived a full life of eating whatever the fuck he likes (obviously within what’s safe for a cat) and hes happy that way. My stepdaughter is now insisting she will purchase vegan cat food because seeing Mango eat meat makes her sick.
We feed him in the kitchen and she will literally throw up / retch/ leave the kitchen if she sees him eat mea... keep reading on reddit ➡
There's no school and she doesn't have a job, so my stepdaughter has no responsibilities at the moment. For context, her dad was a single dad until he met me when she was 10, and now we have two more children together. Her dad is a GP so he works pretty much constantly and I'm left looking after 2 children by myself for the majority of the day, both 5 and 2 years old respectively.
Apart from cooking the daily family meal twice a week max, looking after the children 2x a week when we go grocery shopping and helping me put away said grocery shopping, my stepdaughter does nothing to help when I'm clearly in over my head and she's old enough to be taught a little responsibility. When I was her age, I was working two jobs and looked after my little sister and helped out around the house without being asked. She has to be asked to do every little thing apart from the things mentioned so far and almost always does them begrudgingly.
To teach her a better work ethic, I put together a chart f... keep reading on reddit ➡
My stepdaughter and I don’t get on too well. She’s 18, and I’m 27, so she massively dislikes that there’s an age gap between her father and I, he’s 35. My boyfriend and her mother were together until about 3 years ago, when her mom left and literally just never came home. She’s heard from her about 5 times in the past three years. I’ve been living here about 3 months or so.
She’s a good kid, but her father would literally let her get away with anything. She sits in her messy room on the phone to her boyfriend all day, does absolutely no work for college, has never had a job, and I feel as though my boyfriend massively babies her just because he feels bad her mom left. It is sad, but it’s happened now. Ive tried telling my boyfriend numerous times that he needs to be stricter with her and he says to let him deal with it because he’s her dad.
My boyfriend has been on a business trip the past couple of days so it’s just been his daughter and I in the house. I don’t think she’s come ou... keep reading on reddit ➡
I (39m) have been with my girlfriend now for four years. Our relationship started as an affair as she was married to her ex husband at the time. I was also married. I’m not proud of it but it is what it is. She and her ex husband have a daughter together, who is now 19. I have four kids of my own with my ex wife. My wife’s ex husband isn’t in his daughters life much, so she lives here with my family. We have only been living all together for the past 7 months or so.
She’s never liked me, and has always told me I’m the reason her family was broken apart. She’s great with my kids, offers to babysit them and they love her, but it’s the opposite with me. She’s extremely cold and doesn’t listen to a word I say when her mom isn’t around. She goes out of her way to piss me off, including bringing her boyfriend round when we haven’t allowed it.
Every year my parents plan a big family vacation to their vacation home on Vancouver Island. This is the first one where my parents have told me to... keep reading on reddit ➡
Last year my husband found out he had a 17 year old daughter from a one night stand. We were obviously really shocked but accepted her into our family, and I’ve always tried my best to treat her as I do my own kids. I have two daughters who are 9 and 7 and a son who’s 6. Her mother has taken very unwell so is therefore high risk for COVID, as a result she’s been staying with us the past few months.
I’ve never known how to parent a teenager but for the most part I think I’ve done an alright job. My husband is a key worker so he’s not here during the day. With restrictions being lifted, I wanted to take my kids out to the park for a picnic. I rarely get to spend time with just them anymore so when my stepdaughter asked if she could come, I said maybe next time as I wanted to spend time as a family. She said oaky and seemed fine with it and went back on her phone.
My husband came home later that night and did the rounds before coming to bed. He told me that my stepdaughter was really... keep reading on reddit ➡
Last year I moved in with my current girlfriend and her two daughters. I was married to my ex wife when I started a relationship with my current girlfriend, and we had two children together, 2 girls. My eldest daughter is 7 and my youngest is 3. My daughter has struggled since I’ve been living here, but I’ve been seeing her three times a week. My stepdaughters are 8 and 10, and my eldest daughter is best friends with the 8 year old.
Last weekend I told my daughters I’d come and pick them up at the weekend so we could go on a walk. I haven’t seen them as much as I’d like to since being in quarantine. It got to the weekend and my stepdaughters asked me to spend time with them, and as I was already in an argument with my girlfriend about not spending as much time as I should with them, and called my ex wife to tell her I’d take my daughters next week.
My ex wife called me a few hours later telling me my eldest daughter has been hysterically crying all day thinking that she’s been repl... keep reading on reddit ➡
This is really are /we/ the assholes as my wife is on board with this. I have 2 step kids, been in their lives for approx 3 years or so- stepson is 23, stepdaughter is 19.
Step kids and I get along great, easy living situation for all of us and both kids have opted to move back here with their mom and I for now while the world settles down. House is comfortable and there’s space for everyone and then some.
My stepson has been with his girlfriend for 6 or 7 years, they’re a quiet couple, they’re both sensible and their lives are studying/ working from home. In essence, we know and trust them.
My stepdaughter goes out every night to god knows where and brings home a new friend every couple nights, and has been in that pattern since she came back here.
My wife and I don’t want stepdaughter to bring anybody we don’t know or trust home, we have irreplaceable and valuable items in our house and we’ve unfortunately been subjected to ‘lost’ cash and in one case, my watch, before when o... keep reading on reddit ➡
I am a 25 year old woman. Six months ago, I married my boyfriend of one year, 30M. He has a 14 year old daughter with his high school ex girlfriend, also 30. They broke up when they were 19 and his ex-girlfriend got custody, although my husband was very involved in his daughter's life and visited her frequently. My husband passed away only 2 months after our wedding in a tragic accident. I'm still in mourning. I loved him deeply.
His daughter did not cope with the trauma well. She lives with her mother and her step-father as well as her step siblings. Coupled with the traumatic experience of losing her dad, whom she loved very much, as well as the normal pressures of being a teenager, she has not been her best self the past few months. She has clashed regularly with her parents, and has vented to me many times through texts and phone calls. Really, I'm more of a sister than a "stepmother" to her.
Tonight, she showed up suddenly at my front door. She was crying and said she hitched... keep reading on reddit ➡
I’ve been married to my current wife for 5 years. Her 2 daughters live with us (17, 12). I have 2 kids of my own, my daughter is 24 and my son will be 16 next month.
Last year, when my step daughter turned 16, my wife wanted to get her a car. I agreed and said I would help pay as well. I make considerably more than my wife, so I had a feeling I’d be covering most of it, considering my wife’s ex husband wanted no part of it. He always says he has no money, and completely shut down the notion of him contributing to his daughters car because “he has no money”. My wife and I bought her a 2009 Chevy Malibu. It’s in great shape for having over 100k miles on it. We thought it would be a great first car and she loved the gift.
Fast forward to the beginning of this March, knowing my son was turning 16 in April, I talked to my wife about getting my son a car. And then I talked to my ex wife about it, because that is who my son lives with most of the time. My ex wife has a good job and makes... keep reading on reddit ➡
Please be kind, I'm on a phone. Sorry for bad formatting.
My step daughter (SD) (12) told me and my spouse that she feels depressed. She was very thoughtful about why she feels this way, and tbh I have suspected this for a while. She doesn't like confrontation so I chose to let her come to us rather than force a conversation. She wants to see a counselor. This too, is something I have wanted for her for a while. I told my SD to talk about her feelings with her mom, but that I would find her good options and make an appointment once her mom was on board.
Well, Mom's not on board. My SD just called me crying, saying that Mom completely dismissed her feelings, and told her she wasn't depressed, she's just isolating herself too much. My SD said she got very upset and yelled at Mom, who then yelled back.
Mom is now texting my spouse, super angry that we had this talk with her. She thinks I'm planting these ideas in my SD mind, and that I've convinced her that she's depressed, and needs... keep reading on reddit ➡
I met my wife 6 years ago, we got married after 2 years of knowing one another. She had a 6 year old daughter when I met her and she’s now a thriving and lovely 12 year old.
I love her very much and I consider her to be family, but first and foremost my stepdaughters father is heavily involved in her life and he is a great dad. She already has a father, and for years both her dads side and my wife’s side of the family have felt the need to ‘drum it into me’ that I will never ever be a father, just moms husband.
Over time I guess their mental POV has shifted because now my wife and her family wish for me to start referring to my stepdaughter as my daughter. However she is not expected to refer to me as dad.
I don’t really have an issue with this but I am uncomfortable because I don’t view her as my daughter, I actually view her as a younger family never that i take care of. I love her but she’s my stepdaughter, there is a degree of separation, and that has been influenced by my w... keep reading on reddit ➡
The title pretty much sums it up. My husband (55M) asked me to post this. He has three adult children from his first marriage. He was married to their mother until the kids were 13, 10, and 8 (about ten years ago), at which point they separated. My husband was not as involved as he should’ve been After the divorce, and drank heavily at the time (sober for five years now). He was able to mend his relationship with all three children since becoming sober, and acknowledges that he made a lot of mistakes and is incredibly sorry.
His oldest daughter (24) is getting married. She invited us to her engagement party and everything between them seemed fine (no arguments or drama etc.). Anyways, today we found out from her sister that the wedding is in a few weeks and we weren’t invited, her sister didn’t really know why and we didn’t want her to have to be in the middle of it. He asked if it was going to be a small wedding but apparently they invited over 100 people. My husband is very heartbr... keep reading on reddit ➡
My stepdaughter is 16 years old and is a new vegan. She’s been vegan since January, and her mom is also vegan. They are vegan for diet reasons.
They cook interesting dishes that I enjoy but I prefer to eat the things they eat as a side, NOT as a main meal. My wife is tiny and she doesn’t eat much to begin with and my stepdaughter also is very short and doesn’t eat a lot.
Last night was spaghetti and meatball night, they had vegan spaghetti and meatballs made out of what tasted like falafel tbh but it wasn’t to my taste at all and made me feel sick. It was the flavor and texture that was just wrong.
I prepared my own meatballs and my own marinara because I like to put butter in mine.
My stepdaughter and wife were eating theirs but being even more picky than normal cuz they both hated the flavor of their meal. My wife started laughing and told my stepdaughter they’d just order vegan pizza and call it a night since they both agreed it was nasty.
My stepdaughter said she wanted spa... keep reading on reddit ➡
My mom passed away some years ago. She was by no means a rich lady but she held onto treasures in the way people from the old days did.
She had a beautiful antique set of silverware that I admired as a little girl, and that my own daughter loved to look at when we went to visit my mom. My mom promised her she would have it one day.
Before my mom passed she gifted the silverware to me on the proviso that it went to my daughter when she is old enough. Of course I agreed and it’s stayed in my home since since my daughter wants me to give them to her when she first buys her own home, so obviously a few years away still.
Since my moms death life has changed for me- I remarried in 2018, my daughter is all grown up at 19, and I have inherited a lovely stepdaughter who is in her 30’s.
She asked me if she could use the silverware for her wedding this past July, I was uneasy only because the thought of it being stolen etc was on my mind. However her ceremony was very small and intimate s... keep reading on reddit ➡
So I married M a few months ago. We connected through an online dating website and because of the physical distance I never got the chance to meet her kids (all grown and out of the house) before we got married. We met in person when she came down to where I was living, but I moved in with her and met the kids after the wedding.
Her youngest daughter A is in her late thirties and is married to a man literally old enough to be her dad. A was actually my favorite of the kids in the beginning, and hey I don't judge the guy has money and they seem happy enough.
I didn't have a steady job before getting married. I lived in a trailer on my brother's land and I'd help him out at construction cites now and then if I needed cash. I always managed to get by. M works part time do to some health issues, but she raised all five kids by herself and A's rich husband has been very generous.
So I've been up here a few months and I guess A's husband is pissed that I haven't found work yet, but I'm a... keep reading on reddit ➡
WIBTA if my kids have matching names (but my step kid doesn’t?)
5 yrs ago I married my husband whose daughter A was 3.
My son B is now 3, A is 8 and I’m expecting a daughter in July. I announced Sat at my virtual baby shower we’re naming my daughter another B name.
It... didn’t go over well.
People are saying A will feel left out, apparently A has been crying to her mom about feeling even more “different”. People are up my butt with suggestions of, “oooh, why don’t you name your daughter this name? How about that name?”
I get that I’m pregnant and sick of being inside but I’m ready to scream.
A’s mom just called that A cried all today and yesterday about having a “different” sounding name from her siblings. Given her mom wouldn’t even give her my husbands last name (they never married) that’s Rich!
I’m set on this name, it was my grandmas middle name. Our son got a family name from my husband.
Over the years we have bent over backward for A’s mom’s bullshit and I’ve sacri... keep reading on reddit ➡
My wife and I are both very independent. We are not jealous or controlling in any way. We each have our own separate checking accounts and handle our business in our own ways. We’re a good couple, but we’re very opposite. I’m an early bird and very cautious. She often waits until the last minute and is carefree. Kind of a Dharma and Greg here, or so I’ve been told.
Anyways, the pandemic hits. My wife and two stepdaughters(19 and 15 yo) decide to travel states away and quarantine with her mom and brother in a vacation house that her mom owns. I volunteered to stay home and take care of the animals.
All is well from March-May. When asked, I ran errands for my wife and stepdaughters such as depositing money for my laid off stepdaughter or mailing my wife her bank card when her identity was briefly stolen. Also during that time, we received three separate envelopes in the mail about renewing our cars’ registration since we lease from the same dealership. One is for me, one is for my w... keep reading on reddit ➡
I have been with my partner for 11 years, since his daughter was 6. In that time, he has never missed a visitation (1/3 custody) or a child support payment, and we have done our best as non-custodial and step-parents. Her mother (his ex) has always been cruel and demanding to my partner, no matter what he gives or does, she treats him like crap, makes legal threats, and demands more. It has been like this since their divorce 10 years ago. Still, we had a good relationship with Daughter (now 17) until about 9 months ago, when the car we GAVE her needed (?) repairs, and he told her the car needed to be (at least partially) her responsibility and he wouldn't just cut a check every time it needed work (Note that we gave her the car for free, got repairs done before giving it to her, pay registration& insurance for the car, etc.). She was extremely rude and disrespectful in this text exchange, saying things like "this 'free' car you gave me sure is costing me a lot of money" and "you... keep reading on reddit ➡
Slight Update: So E stopped by to return a laptop I had been letting her use, because her new one came in. We talked from a distance and she was in a good mood. She dropped off peanut butter brownies (A has a nut allergy) so now my husband and I are eating brownies, and A is up in her room sulking. God, I'm glad I raised my kids before everyone became so sensitive.
So I'd just like to be clear everything in this post happened before social distancing guidlines were put in place. We have not been entertaining since the government restrictions.
I have an adult son M and a 12 year old stepdaughter A. M is married to E, who despite everything in this post I have a great relationship with. E has a somewhat standoffish personality. If she likes you she's the life of the party, great sense of humor, etc. I married A's dad when she was 9 and she had some of the normal issues with sharing her dad. The first year was rocky, but we've come a long way. Just for reference I leave all discipline... keep reading on reddit ➡
There is a post on AITA right now, I'll summarize as such:
Man has three bio sons and a stepdaugher, all ages 15-19. Eldest son complains about period products in the trash making him uncomfortable. He finds this all very reasonable and asks her to stop putting them in the trash can or hide them better. She (and his wife) basically tell him to fuck off, and he's "my house my rules".
God this post makes my blood boil. The entitlement men have to feel that women must dance around them to make them more comfortable so they don't have to bear the sight of a pad is extraordinary. And you KNOW that bathroom garbage is full of semen soaked tissues.
And these boys are older teenagers! Do they think that they'll go through life never having to deal with a period? Jesus FUCK we have such a long way to go.
My husband and I got married in October, together for 3 years, and lived together for 2. He has full custody of both his children (12m and 15f) and I don’t have any kids of my own.
When I moved in my stepson and I clicked really well but my stepdaughter didn’t want anything to do with me.(I think it was because my son was younger when I met him, and my daughter was already a teenager)
I’ve tried to have a connection with her but it doesn’t seem like it will happen. I had a talk with her and let her know I’m there for her and if she’s ever ready to open up to me I’d love it. We are civil, there’s no fighting but she tends to avoid me and is quiet when I’m around.
Yesterday she asked me if I could drive her to her friends house and I said “I’m sorry but no, you act like I’m a ghost unless you want something, so you’ll have to figure it out.”
AITA for doing this? I feel bad but at the same time I feel like why should I do this when you want nothing to do with me.
So my 12 y/o step daughter (V) and I are really good friends and my relationship with her is like an older sister, we have week on week off care and as my husband (A) and I are farmers he works 4am-6pm and I fit my work day around V which makes everyone perfectly happy even V's mom (B) because I'll always go out of the way to accommodate anything in regard to V even though B has never been my biggest fan but if V gets sick at school on B's week I pick V up until her grandma can come get her or she just stays with us. We have V most weekends as B finds it hard entertaining all 3 and says V is happier here.
So at our place we eat dinner at 6pm, we're usually home from school at 3:30 she has a snack round 445 and then usually another small snack an hour laterish, I'm pretty firm on this as her and her dad had a habit when it was just them where she'd snack 20 minutes before dinner in case she didn't want to eat dinner and then claim she was too full to eat . She still tries it occasiona... keep reading on reddit ➡
Ok, hear me out.
I have been with my partner for about 2 years now. We have his 2 teenagers (19M and 14F) and my daughter (3) that live with us full time.
We have had our share of blended family growing pains, from the standard “you’re not my mom” to “what-the-hell- is-wrong-with-your-kids-they-don’t-do-anything!” But this is the current issue and I’m currently dug in and don’t see myself budging.
SS19 is barely home and washes his own clothes. But SD14 owns more clothes than most retail stores and doesn’t care for them at all. It’s not entirely her fault as her mother is a shrew and DH did everything before I came along, so she didn’t necessarily learn this life skill. But she doesn’t know how to clean, so when she “cleans” her room, she really just piles her clothes on the floor in front of the washer. This drives me insane - the hamper is located BETWEEN the washer and dryer! This is to say nothing of the waste of washing clean clothes she just wanted off her floor. I have wa... keep reading on reddit ➡
I recently married a woman (like we married a few months ago) with a 10 year old daughter Kate. We dated for about 6 years and lived together for 2 so I could see why Kate would come to see me as father like figure especially since her bio dad passed away while my wife was pregnant.
Okay so yesterday Kate missed the bus and while I was driving her to school , Kate asked me out of the blue if it would make me uncomfortable if she started calling me Dad. I was taken aback and after thinking for about 10 seconds, I told her that I care about her a lot, I would prefer if she just kept on calling me by first name. She said ok in a defeated manner but seemed to take it well.
I was wrong about that. Evidently when she got to school she uncontrollably cried to the point where my wife had to pick me her up. She was really upset and wouldn't speak to me in the evening. My wife partially understood my understood as we agreed when we got married that I wouldn't be Kate's dad. But she said I wa... keep reading on reddit ➡
My stepdaughter and I are very close. She’s 16 years old and I’ve known her for around 7 or 8 years.
I’ve always been a huge girly girl and into makeup. I love makeup. So does my stepdaughter. We share a beauty room (and closet lol) and we both snuggle up and watch YouTube videos together. It’s our bonding time.
She recently told me she wanted an eyeshadow palette by a famous celebrity and his makeup is too expensive for a teen to afford it so I figured I would treat her just because she’s been real good at handling life lately.
Well she loved the eyeshadow palette and took it home back to her moms. Her mom texted me and said I was absolutely outta line for buying from this celebrity. Apparently he has a history of being a shitty person. I had no idea of any of the stuff when I bought it, I just knew that my stepdaughter wanted it and so I got it for her.
I’m personally not into that brand so I never follow the news from the person. She told me that I could ‘keep that trash’ in... keep reading on reddit ➡
I’ve been married for 5 years to my husband. He came from a pretty dire financial background but he’s got a heart of gold. currently we are living in my mum and dads second home which only has 2 bedrooms while we try and save up money to pay off credit cards, debts, save for a deposit on a house etc. Obviously this means we are under a lot of stress for most of the time let alone under current circumstances.
One bedroom is for the children and one bedroom is for hubby and I, but the house is frankly too small for everybody and we are all getting under each other’s feet since we’re all home basically 24/7. They’re living with us full time and have been since the 17th of March for the moment. This has been a big adjustment for me considering they used to stay once or twice a week but I’m glad they’re here and it’s a nice insight into what our future might look like when we get a bigger place.
One of my guilty secret pleasures is I buy a lot of bath bombs, and bubble bars. They’re not... keep reading on reddit ➡
Sorry for another wedding post. Throw-away of course.
So my fiancé (37M) and I (30F) are getting married in April. He has a 15 year old daughter who currently lives with us but will be moving in with her grandparents soon for school.
Her mother (my fiancé’s first wife) passed away 2 years ago from cancer. I met my fiancé while he was married but nothing romantic happened between us until after she passed. However just the fact that I’ve met his daughter as a family friend during that time has made her incredibly distrustful of me, even though we never had an affair and I’ve made that very clear to her.
Anyways, recently she told my fiancé that she’d like to read a poem at our wedding during the speech portions. It’s one based on loss and family, and is quite a nice poem, but she’d like to publicly dedicate it to her late mom with a short speech after.
I read the draft of it and am incredibly unhappy with how it sounds. Essentially she wants to talk about how happy her dad and he... keep reading on reddit ➡
My stepdaughter moved out when she was 19, she got a flat with her boyfriend a year later
I moved in with her dad the same year with my daughter (12F) and everything's going great, I've never seen eye to eye with my step daughter, I don't approve of her job as a cam girl but she says it pays very well and is very open/almost proud of her job, I'm not in a place where I can criticize
She (21F) recently found out she's pregnant and her boyfriend wants absolutely nothing to do with her or the baby
She still works while she isn't showing,I'm not sure if she can continue while she's pregnant (?) she could continue to paying for a flat if she wanted
she told her dad she wanted to move home and go college and university, meaning she would stay at home until she finished, she would hire a babysitter
Her dad jumped at the opportunity without even asking me, he's always been trying to make up for not being there while she grew up- he had weekend visitation
*She's never appro... keep reading on reddit ➡
I've been practicing Stoicism for about a year now, and I'm struggling with devising (or perhaps realizing?) a stoic approach to dealing with my disrespectful teen (16 y.o.) stepdaughter's behavior.
I keep asking myself, "What would Marcus Aurelius do?" because I've been studying him in particular for a few weeks. But I struggle to think of an answer, so I'm asking for help.
I don't want to give her the impression she can continue to disrespect me and I'll continue to do things for her. Specifically, she will need to be driven to a job after daily high scho... keep reading on reddit ➡
My stepdaughter was playing some kind of pet game on her tablet & when I asked the pet’s name... she dead face told me “Glossary”. She’s 7... she didn’t know what a glossary was lol
I have 2 boys (21&23) from my first marriage and a girl with my current wife (J). J has a daughter (my stepdaughter V, 18) with her first partner.
My deceased ex wife and I have created a trust fund for our 2 boys and when she passed away they both got a large inheritance since she came from a wealthy family. When me and J got married, she stopped working and is currently a stay at home mom to our daughter (13)
I have 3 trust funds for my children and separate college funds. I thought V’s dad would be smart enough to do something similar but he currently as 0 savings for V and my wife has none either.
J and I do have some savings but that is for when I retire. V asked me to pay for her college but I currently can’t pay for it. I don’t have the money saved up for her. J is upset but understands that I can’t use our savings or my children’s money. Its not my fault her dad didn’t save up and I’m not willing to take money from my children.
V now has to apply for student loans a... keep reading on reddit ➡
Pretty much title. My stepdaughter, who’ve I’ve known since she was 2, is 7 now and has had overnights without any issues. For the past month she has worked herself up crying to the point she can’t breathe asking to go back to her moms (who has joint custody but is with 80% of the time) and won’t sleep. We don’t know what to do. It could be she has attachment issues due to coronavirus and being home with her mom all day but tonight she literally came over one hour and was already hyperventilating because she had to spend the night. Any advice would be helpful. She’s with my daughter now watching a movie in a fort they built but I’m worried about bedtime in an hour or so, when she will probably wake up crying. Thanks in advance!
Y’all. I could write a novel but I’ll try to keep it short as possible. My birthday was las week. Started off as a great day. Stepgirls (15 & 11), signed my card, told me happy birthday and genuinely seemed to be in a good mood. I have 2 bio boys (15 & 13). 13 year old had a baseball tourney so we all set out to watch. The entire time at the field, my 2 SKs laid all over their dad, wedged between us when trying to chat. Had to follow him to the bathroom and to the truck for drinks.....he and I had a huge fight because he does EVERYTHING THEY ASK! Like they are his wives. He tells me “my kids will have just as much as your kids do” (my BKs dad is loaded) and “You’re the adult, you should know better and they’re just kids” and “quit playing the victim”. While we were “discussing” all of this, he tells his 11 yr old she can come join us and she doesn’t have to be afraid to come to him anytime she wants. We were in the middle of an argument..... So, this week has been a wee awkward... keep reading on reddit ➡
So a little relevant backstory. I met my now ex 4 years ago, when my daughter was 1. She has never known anyone else as a dad, her bio dad was a drug addict and is currently in jail. My daughter Abigail is now 5 and sees my ex as her dad 100%. She was diagnosed with a highly malignant brain tumour in Feb last year. She has severe ptsd and trauma from that. When she was diagnosed I was 7 months pregnant with my now ex's biological son.
He has always treated Abby as a daughter, she calls him dad, they are inseparable.
We broke up a couple days ago because I found out he had been cheating on me with multiple women the whole time my daughter was undergoing treatment and I was in hospital with her for weeks on end. He denies this completely but I have proof. Not to mention the fact that he's been very emotionally abusive our whole relationship, that was just the final straw.
Today he told me that when it comes to seeing the kids he has to "put himself first" which means basically he is... keep reading on reddit ➡
TL:DR. My 15 year old stepdaughter constantly has lice. We refused to bring her for an out of town trip as she currently has lice and has had it over a week. We have three other children and myself with long hair. Her mom is mad that we are excluding her from the trip because the kids would be sharing a bed at the hotel.
Editing to add: we have tried to get full custody/primary residency. We have talked to a few lawyers and they said it would ultimately be up to my stepdaughter unless we could prove major neglect. Even with her missing a lot of school and the lice thing, they said it wouldn’t be enough.
Edit #2. I honestly didn’t know that CPS could get involved for lice. We are going to have a talk with her and her mom again. Explain we are serious about this and she needs to treat and them comb her hair with the special comb daily. She did get upset that she didn’t get to go on the trip with us. Her and her mom went through her room and completely cleaned it, then... keep reading on reddit ➡
First of all, my wife and I have an arrangement, where I unload the dishwasher (because lifting a stack of plates into the cabinet is heavy as shit) and cook (because I like to cook) and she washes dishes and loads the dishwasher. We both really like this arrangement, but every so often we switch it up. Sometimes I'll wash the dishes for her and later on I'll not feel like cooking and she is more than happy to cook instead. This was one of those days.
My stepdaughter mentioned that she'd like to have her favorite food beef stroganoff. I told her that mom was gonna be cooking tonight, and then my wife told her that she was gonna make tuna fish sandwiches (which I happen to like, but I guess kids dont so much lol) and my stepdaughter was just like "ok :(" and went back into her room to play some game on her laptop.
She came back out about 30 minutes later to show me something on the game that she was playing. I dont know what the game was, but she had to make a "backstory" for h... keep reading on reddit ➡
Trigger warning: physical and emotional abuse, self-harm.
Hi, I am very new to this sub and hope I am not breaking any rule by posting. I need advice on how to deal with a teenager, who has been massively mistreated by her mother and handling the upcoming birthday of her adored brother. (also: This is my second account just for this topic.)
Short background: I have been living in this blended family for 8 years. The biomom of my step daughter (13) is a not-diagnosed narcissist, who mistreated her for so many years (emotional and physical abuse). There's also a new husband and new son (SD's brother, 2) in the picture. Stepdad never saw my SD as his child and also maltreated her (she hates him) - whereas the brother is the golden child. My SD adores her brother all the way, he's her whole world.My SD currently decided to leave her mom's after a long period of things getting worse again. (We tried for years, but she never wanted to move and child services and court weren't that great in... keep reading on reddit ➡
I’ve been married for almost 3 years and I have two stepkids. One is a boy(Tyson) around 10 and a girl(Nellie) who is around 9. Nellie has neighbors who come over almost everyday to play. Nellie recently has been not listening to us as of lately. We live on a road where cars can go up to about 60mph and we tell her constantly not to play in it. Sunday Nellie and her neighbor friend were over at her friend’s house. When me and my wife walked through the yard she was playing on a scooter going up and down the road. We told her not to play in the road and get off but seemed to disregard the fact we were upset with her.
Today her friends came over. Its hot so I told them they can play with the water guns. She asked to use the slip n slide twice I told her no both times. For 2 reasons, one being I had my own housework to do and I couldnt keep a constant eye on them in case one of them got hurt and second, just to see how well she would listen to me and I could trust her.
Well, they took... keep reading on reddit ➡
I'm really just tired.
I would consider myself a pretty patient and passive person. My husband and I have a three month old daughter together who I plan on raising a particular way. His 7 year old daughter is really turning out to be a shining example in everything I don't want my daughter to be and it annoys me that I live in a house with the product of what I consider to be poor parenting and basically get shit on because of it and really have no control over changing it either.
SD's mom is unstable. She's tried to kill herself three times and has struggled with substance abuse. My husband was definitely not the perfect dad because he was left with most of the child rearing and full time working responsibilities because his ex-wife was either passed out on xanax or in and out of mental health facilities so my husband's parenting was basically just yell until she was scared enough to listen.
They divorced in late 2016. Husband and I started dating in Early 2018. His ex wife tried... keep reading on reddit ➡
In the past week I've had some issues with my adult stepdaughter (A) and her husband, because he felt like I was mooching off of him. Well in our culture family is more important than some petty bullshit so I called him up and we talked like men. I think we had a good conversation, and I do genuinely like A. My wife decided to do something super rare and invite them out to dinner and pay herself.
I thought this was going to be great, since A's husband felt taken advantage of financially. Well my wife picked the cheapest place she could get away with, but besides that things went pretty well. He was making some jokes about me being a leech, but I really don't care. I can laugh at it.
Well I told them that at one point the trailer I was living in didn't have running water, and my SIL absolutely hated me so I wasn't allowed in the house for a while. A was asking how I showered and brushed my teeth, and I told her I had a buddy who worked at a gym and looked the other way when I used the... keep reading on reddit ➡
I'm not sure if this is the case in the rest of the world, but here in England during the lockdown quizzes have become the thing to do. For those who are not familiar, usually 5-6 sets of questions of various categories, people connect through Zoom, Facebook messenger, or watch live on YouTube and answer either in teams or individually, and at the end they score each other. There's no prize for the winner, the only prize is the time you managed to kill during lockdown boredom. They were popular-ish before the lockdown, like pubs would put on a quiz every few months or so. But now they're everywhere and everyone's doing them.
So my stepdaughter turned 21 last weekend and she gave us a quiz, only this wasn't your typical "general knowledge, film and television, a bit of history and sports" type of quiz - it was all about her. Stuff like, what's my favourite Disney character, what hospital was I born in, am I a dog or a cat person. It was pretty mundane and it took forever. There was a... keep reading on reddit ➡
Back story. I and my husband have been married for 8 years. My husband had a relationship prior in another country during which he had a daughter. We also have a little girl of our own, 2 years old now, but she doesn’t play any role in this so I’ll leave her out.
As mentioned, my husband is from a different country but we married and are living in the US. A few years into our marriage, we legally adopted his daughter, then 9 years old, in order to bring her to the US for a better future. Her mother was really against the idea but eventually conceited because it’s just the right thing to do. I would also like to say that I have also no relationship with my stepdaughter’s mother (I wouldn’t say we don’t like each other, we just have never met, and neither have any real intention of eventually meet. In shot, we are just passively disinterested in each other’s affair).
My stepdaughter and I got along fine. Although I legally adopted her, I delegate all decisions concerning her to my hu... keep reading on reddit ➡
So I've been with my partner coming up on 3 years. 9 months ago we gained full custody of his 2 kids due to bio mom moving across the country. In the start I had a really close bond with my stepdaughter, now 4 years old. I loved spending time with her, playing with her, teaching her ect. Now however, in the past 4 months or so, I have heavily started to resent her. Not her brother, but just her. I hate when she touches my things, I hate when she comes into bed with us (I'll actually sleep on the couch if she does), I get jealous of how much attention my partner gives her and not me, so many things she does just irritate the hell out of me. She has developed mad separation anxiety since her mom left, so that doesnt help. Every since getting custody my relationship with my partner has been rocky, lost of arguements and stuff. We've been pretty solid for 2 months and have been working on things within our relationship. I just dont know what to do, what to say to my partner, if what I'm fe... keep reading on reddit ➡
I'm a mother of six kids, one of those kids being my stepdaughter S. Just to get straight into it, my stepdaughter is the product of an affair. My husband had an affair right after our second child was born, and he got her pregnant. It was a traumatic birth, our second was a fussy baby, and we had two kids under two. When I found out my husband had an affair, it absolutely destroyed me.
Things only got worse after S was born. Her mother passed away when she was just a year old, leaving my husband and I with full custody of her. It's been 15 years, and I've tried as best as I can to make it work. She has not been an easy child from the start; she constantly threw tantrums, got into fights at school and with me, and still acts out now as a teenager. I wish I could say that I love her in spite of it all, but I don't know how to feel about her a majority of the time.
Last night, at dinner, one of my younger daughters L and I were talking about an upcoming competition (she's part of a d... keep reading on reddit ➡
Do they not sound as though the little girls are being abused? The "fathers" have definitely earned inverted commas around the nominal title at any rate!
Also I'm pretty sure women are no longer told definitively (and haven't been for decades) by medical professionals that they won't be able to have children unless they actually don't have a womb. Doctors choose their words far more carefully these days for fear of any proclamations coming back to bite them.
It’s been three months since I have touched my wife. She spent the entirety of the pandemic living in the city with her sister so that it would be easier for her to commute to the hospital and now, with case numbers safely in the low two digit territory, she is snoring gently on my chest. I wish that I could fall asleep next to her, that I could let my tired, aching body rest and wake up to a world returning back to normal. But I can’t. I know I did something wrong.
I am not completely certain of what I did, the memory of the past three months is an ungraspable fog that floats around my mind, but I know I set in motion incomprehensible forces. Outside the stars shine like a thousand curious eyes waiting, watching to see how everything in our puny mortal realm will play out and I know I have been a small, sweaty puzzle piece in the events that are about to unravel. Whatever the terrors that are preparing to seize the night, a part of the responsibility lies with me. I have communed wit... keep reading on reddit ➡
A year or so ago, he had her in his contacts as “Munchkin” when casually showing me his Apple Watch. I didn’t say anything about it that day, but i was definitely bothered by it.
I felt like I didn’t matter enough to him if he was willing to give someone else a nickname that was once mine as a child, to a girl he’s only known for barely a year. (Let’s call the aforementioned stepsister Kate, who is older than me by a year, I’m 15 rn.)
Eventually I had talked to him about this, how it made me sad and uncomfortable to be sharing a nickname with Kate. (Note that my dad hadn’t called me Munchkin around the time he moved in with Kate and her mom, he hadn’t married Kate’s mom at the time.)
He said that he would change her name in his contacts and stop calling her that, and I believed him, until last Saturday(today) my dad and stepmom were joking about how Kate would react to them showing up at Chick-Fil-A, a fast food place where she’s started working.
My stepmom said that Kate would be... keep reading on reddit ➡
So, I was friends with my ex before we got married, when his wife passed away I was there for him, he and the baby moved in with me, I was 21 at the time and it was a tiny flat but we made things work, so I've literally known the baby since she was 3 weeks old.
When baby was 10months old we started to date, five years later we got married.
Four years into marriage I got pregnant with our firstborn.
When our firstborn was 3 I found out he had been cheating, he's currently seeing her.
We finally have custody sorted with our child, he has weekends.
He agreed for our eldest (not firstborn) to spend a week of the month with me, I'd rather have 50/50 but not really gonna happen.
A couple of my friends said I'm an AH for putting her through that and since I'm not biologically related to her I should only spend time with her at her dads and I should let her move on with her life.
My stepdaughter Eve is 24 and has always been very out going, western, used to drink and smoke, etc.
In 2019 she came to live with us after a tragic incident involving her boyfriend. Her mental health was not great and her dad and I offered her therapy etc.
She withdrew completely and would stay in her room, working online with her job remotely instead of going into the office, she rescued a cat who only stays in her room and the cat is literally her only company.
She sold her beloved car, etc. No make up. Total change of personality.
Now she stopped dressing as her usual self a few months ago and began to appear a lot more morman. However last night I walked into her room after knocking and she let me in, and saw a headdress on her bed. I asked what it was and she basically sighed and said, well I guess you should know I’m a Muslim now.
I have 0 problem with her being a Muslim but feel she is using this to escape her actual problems. I sat down and started asking her questio... keep reading on reddit ➡
I checked my old posts by chance and realised I had written about my stepdaughter and her asshole boyfriend.
(Don't know how to link to old posts, but short version is that everytime she did anything fun and he wasn't invited he threatened to kill himself, didn't answer his phone and so on. It reminded me of an asshole boyfriend of my own when I was a few years older than she is now. Like PTSD-flashback reminders.)
A while back, me and my boyfriend/her dad was making dinner and she came and stood next to us. Very unlike her, she's very reclusive and spends zero time with us, especially since she met asshole boyfriend (let's call him AB for short). I could see that she was upset so I talked to her while cooking, and it was AB that was the reason for her being upset. He didn't answer his phone, and when she called some random guy had answered and asked why she called. I said "well, as his girlfriend it's kind of okay to be worried and to call" and I saw something break in her and she... keep reading on reddit ➡
I have found various bits of silly putty and/or gum embedded into the carpet of both of my kids’ (birth son, 5; bonus daughter, 7) rooms over the past year. My significant other (bonus daughter’s father) brought home a goody bag that had gum today. I made it very clear the kids couldn’t have the gum because they have proven to be irresponsible with that kind of stuff. Later that night, it turned out he gave bonus daughter the gum and she had it in her room, I immediately said she had to take it to the kitchen and finish it there, reiterating that the kids couldn’t have gum in our new house. (Just purchased our first home, all carpet). He called me an evil stepmother. (I said it nicely, but firmly) I said again that the rule applies equally to both children. I expressed to him that calling me an evil step mother hurt my feelings (it wasn’t said in a joking tone) and he acted like I was overreacting. I feel like I go out of my way to make sure both children are treated and loved equally.... keep reading on reddit ➡
We moved to another state for my job almost a year ago and stepdaughter (SD) has been fighting with her mom more than ever. She lives with her mom fulltime. She has long hair but can't manage it and always had short hair as a kid for that reason. Now she wants to do more of an undercut pixie and her parents (obviously my husband included) are up in arms.
Her mom said she'll be "grounded for a month" if she comes back with a "crazy haircut" and my husband doesn't want it shorter than chin length. The stepdad also told her she "won't be able to get a job." She's won't be 14 until August and I'm pretty sure she won't have a job in high school anyway. And since when do jobs discriminate against girls for short hair?
My sister who is 16 also recently got a "boy cut" and apparently SD has wanted to chop her hair since May of last year. I have experimented with my hair a lot even though my dad hated it and I just think criticizing a teenaged girl for a SHORT HAIRCUT isn't going to help h... keep reading on reddit ➡
She yelled "WTF dad! Do that in your own room!"
(It wasn't like this in the documentaries)
Every year I pick out and buy my parents their Christmas gift and then my brother pays me back for half.
This year I ordered a beautiful oil painting to be done based on a photo of the grandkids (my two kids age 12 and 9 and his daughter who is 13). I placed the order months ago as there was a long waitlist, and assumed he wouldn’t care and would pay me later when I brought it up. It was quite expensive, but reasonable when split between the two of us.
Here is where the issue arose. My brother got married about a year ago, and now has a 23 year old stepdaughter. She lives out of state from the rest of the family, and while she is very nice and we have no problem accepting her in to the family, my parents and my family (and my brother and his daughter to some extent too) barely know her, as we have only met her once or twice outside of the wedding. She doesn’t attend any family functions and I doubt we will ever see her more often than once a year, if at all.
When ordering the pai... keep reading on reddit ➡
Apparently I'm dead and a girl. It's still me, I'm literally just going by a different name and have short hair and a binder. Nothing else changed. She also told me I was kind of like a replacement for the loss of her daughter. Love being replaced by myself. RIP Me I guess?
I have two daughters with my husband ages 9 and 5, as well as a 12 year old stepdaughter from his previous marriage.
After we opened our presents this Christmas morning, we did several family Christmas photos together. We did the first few photos with everybody including my stepdaughter, and the rest of them with just me, my husband, and our children.
Later, I found my stepdaughter crying in her room. I asked her what was going on, and she told me that she was upset that I had left her out of few of the photos, and that she thinks it's because I hate her. She also said that her half-siblings got better and more presents than she did. I asked her if her mom got her any presents, and she said no. After I told her that it's because they're younger and not because I'm favoring them over her, she completely lost it and said that she doesn't want to be a part of this family anymore.
I honestly don't know what to do, and am wondering if I have truly done something wrong here.
My stepdaughter is very allergic to dogs. She's asthmatic, and living in a house with them is making her breathing problems worse. She's been hospitalised twice in 6 months, and 5 times this year. We've tried everything, from keeping the dogs as away from her with air purifiers to sectioning off areas of the house. Nothing has worked.
Allergy shots aren't an option for medical reasons. BM got the judge to agree that she can't live in a house with dogs, and it is abusive and harmful. It could literally kill her. We would legally be charged with her death if we keep the dogs and the worst happens.
My two dogs and my husband's dog are our babies. My husband is willing to re-home his dog, but I can't do it. They're 4 and 6 and won't be able to be adopted. They will be put down if I surrender them. I'm sobbing just thinking about it. We just had a baby, so me moving out with the dogs isn't really an option.
We've had to settle on moving to every other weekend with my husband taking SD t... keep reading on reddit ➡
I’ve been the stepmom now for like 7 years and for quite some time I’ve suspected that SD 13 has had an eating disorder, but since I struggle with body image myself and since I’m the stepmom, I wasn’t really sure if I was just imagining things. She has had some digestive issues for years that are more or less under control now but since we’ve been home for quarantine (her dad still goes to work while I’m home with her and her sister - and my son- while they are at our house), I’ve been noticing some issues. After the first week I noticed ice cream was disappearing out of the freezer and found the containers (and tons of other dirty dishes, rotting food, and wrappers) in her room. Since then after she goes to her moms house, I’ve been cleaning her room and removing dirty dishes that she stashes in her drawers after she removes most of them. She hides the ones with food that she shouldn’t be having - like ice cream etc. I also noticed that she was taking the ice cream in the very early m... keep reading on reddit ➡
My fiancee and I have been engaged for 6 months, dating for 2 years. He has an 8 year old daughter with his ex wife (let's call her Sophie). He doesn't want any more children. This suits me fine. I'm OK with being a stepmother, but being pregnant and dealing with a baby/toddler full time has never appealed to me.
I have a 10 year old niece (let's call her Olivia) that I am very involved with. My bother and his wife struggle financially (at lot of it is bad debt and choosing to drop out of school. They are also not the brightest crayons on the box, as nice as they are) while I have a very good job as an attorney, so I maintain a college fund for Olivia. It won't be a blank cheque to go anywhere she wants, but if I maintain it, it will be enough to pay for 4 years at a state school, and we do have a public Ivy in our state and Olivia is very bright. I also have Olivia listed to inherit my estate at this point and my half of the joint estate after marriage.
He wants me to stop Olivia's... keep reading on reddit ➡
I (56F) have been dating my boyfriend (55M) for a year and a half and we have been living together for 5 months. I love him very much and get along very well with his daughter (14F). He wants to plan a vacation for her summer vacation and seems to assume I'll go. I don't want to because I don't want to use my vacation time to travel with a teen. She is very nice, but still a teen. It would be 2 weeks of whining and eye rolling and of satisfying her needs. (I should add I already raised 2 teens, who are now 30 and 25) My boyfriend seems to be a bit sensitive and feels rejected sometimes when I don't want to participate in one of his plans. How do I tell him I don't want to go on vacation with them? Thanks
My husband and I just bought our first home together. We've been together for ten years but got married earlier this year. We finally bought a house after years of saving. It's a two story house with a converted attic. The attic is fully insulated and protected, has AC/Heat, it's own bathroom and bedroom. If it weren't on the attic floor you'd never know it used to be the attic. It's also the largest and the most quiet bedroom in the house. The second floor has one small bathroom and two very small bedrooms. The first floor is where the master bedroom/bathroom is. My husband and I have two year old twins. We put them in the two smallest bedrooms and took the first floor master for ourselves.
My husband has a daughter, "Tina", from his first marriage. I love Tina very much. Like a lot of children of divorce with stepparents Tina and I have always been strained. I try to let her know I'm here without crowding her. We're cordial but strained. I wish Tina liked me but it doesn't stop me... keep reading on reddit ➡
It’s a minor vent, but this new baby-voice is killing me. 😫She’s at an age where she should be out more with her friends, practising being a young adult. Instead she’s at our house all the time instead of 50/50 with BM. I care about her, really I do, but I am TIRED of having her HERE so much, particularly since she started talking like a baby every second or third sentence. I am certain her father finds it endearing. I am imagining ways to kindly ask her to cut that shit out. For example, “Your baby voice is annoying. Please pass the salt.”
I am a nearly 40 year old woman. I have a 15 year old stepdaughter. I'm pretty sure she has bipolar disorder but she will not go to treatment and nobody is willing to force her. She hates me and she's doing everything she can to try to split up me and my husband. We just bought a new house to give everyone some space, and, completely unaware of how things echo in this house, she heard me and my husband being intimate when we thought she was asleep. She flipped out. I have been abused in the past so I ran upstairs to my office and hid while she raged and yelled at my husband, mainly about me and how horrible I am. I was giving her time to calm down and avoided her as much as possible. Then on Sunday, out of the blue she comes into my office, calls my husband in there and as soon as he got in there she slapped me as hard as she could and told me to never disrespect her again. I was totally stunned. My husband came and got between us and she started yelling and he started yelling and... keep reading on reddit ➡