Done a bunch of searches on r/atheism and found some helpful stuff. Nothing specific about talking to kids in our situation. Advice very welcome.
I and my wife are not bible/Torah/Quran burners. We are ordinary, intelligent, from-dirt-poor-to-upper-middle-class Americans. Never prayed once, never believed a second of anyone’s personal fairytales. No superstition at all. She and I have both read the King James Bible cover to cover, preparing for today (and in the past, the Quran just out of curiosity). Her ex-husband is from a middle America family with parents who have become increasingly devout-as-they-age evangelicals. I don’t know them. Her ex-husband started at a seminary and then dropped out when he realized he was only there because of undue influence as a child. He is now also an atheist and generally a great guy who regrets his years of devout Christianity. Her son is a 12 y/o with a wonderful heart who had been going to church where he lives. He goes with his dad who joins out of a sense of duty and bc “it’s better than (the son) going alone” and because that’s what kids do in middle America.
The tricky part. Her son spent a month with his grandparents prior to coming to visit us. He arrived today. During that time, his grandparents sent him to an extreme evangelical bible camp for three weeks.
Today he got off the plane and was standoffish, but pleasant, until my wife (who is an amazing mom and would do anything for her kids) mentioned that we had some trips planned while he is here (for a month) but that she was just looking forward to hanging out with him. Oh boy. “I’m not here to “hang out”, I’m here to make you go to church.” “You aren’t my mom unless you go to church”. “Why do you want to go to hell?”
From there it was downhill. I’ve got a good relationship with him, and I don’t want to step into this. However, his mom was and is absolutely devastated and heartbroken from some of his comments. This has been escalating all day, and since I figure my first comments on this shouldn’t be idiotic and alienating, I’d like some ideas on how to a) keep the peace, and b) prevent him from harming the development of his younger half-brother. How do you engage someone like this in constructive thought?
Edited for clarity. The dad freely admits he goes to church with the son to keep the peace at his home.
I have never used this site before but my daughter uses it pretty regularly and suggested that I post here.
I have a daughter and a stepson who I will call Carly and Kyle [Carly-15 & Kyle-18]. They have never been particularly close. Kyle tends to avoid myself and Carly like the plague, he hasn't bothered ever trying to build a relationship with us.
I have been with Kyle's dad since the kids were 10 & 13. Due to some personal troubles which I'll not go to into detail about, Kyle stays with his dad though his mother will visit fairly regularly and they are in constant contact. She, of course, believes me to be the asshole in this situation.
Kyle has stayed in the attic since I knew him. His parents had the attic converted into a proper bedroom for him when he was around 9 or 10. It is an absolutely stunning room. Plenty of space, nice furniture and it is currently inhabited by several dressmaking dummies as he is studying fashion at university.
Lately, Carly has asked me if she can stay with me full time. She and her dad are just not getting on and she'd prefer living with me. Her dad is absolutely fine with this as he was never really good with her in the first place. This means that the majority of Carly's things will be at our place. She has a lot more things than Kyle and would most likely need more space. That's why I thought it'd be a better idea to have Kyle move into Carly's slightly smaller bedroom downstairs and Carly can move into the attic bedroom. I even offered to pay for whatever Kyle wants for his new bedroom [regarding wallpaper, paint, posters etc.] as I know it is a bit of a change for him.
Kyle is not a fan of the idea and has been complaining about how he needs the space to work on his uni projects. I told him that he is more than welcome to use the dining room as we rarely ever use it and we can clean out one of the storage cupboards to store the dummies in. Kyle's partner is also not a fan of this though I am almost 100 percent sure that this is just because in the attic bedroom, they can do what teenagers do without interruption. I think that Kyle is being a bit over dramatic about this as I'm not kicking him out into the street, just into a smaller bedroom, which I have offered to decorate for him.
His father is not completely sold on the idea but is slowly coming around. He also thinks that Kyle is being a bit dramatic regarding the room situation. Kyle's mother and girlfriend and of course Kyle himself, all think... keep reading on reddit ➡
To start off my brother “Brad” and I don’t see eachother too often so we’re not that close.
5 years ago he married a single mom who had a 9 year old son, “Michael.” It was a surprise because he was always so dead set on being kids free.
First time we met his family, it was obvious he didn’t have a change of heart about kids when I noticed how he wouldn’t interact with Michael at all and practically ignored his existence.
A year into the marriage, Brad sometimes vented to me about how annoying it is having Michael around 24/7, which didn’t feel right to me. There was some back and forth arguing between us about why he would marry someone with a kid if he hates kids when all it’s doing is making him miserable and hurting an innocent child who’s not at fault.
One time Brad asked me if I could take Michael with me and my sons on a camping trip we were going on for the weekend because he absolutely “needed” this free time.
I agreed and we all ended up having a great time. Michael’s a shy and timid kid but once we were out there he let himself open up. He’s really sweet and kind. Couldn’t believe this is the kid my brother constantly complained about like if he was such a chore.
I basically became the weekend babysitter sometimes, which I had no problem with. Michael and my sons loved hanging out and we did lots of activities together.
Last year when he and his ex divorced, I was worried about not being able to see Michael again. Of course after years we considered him family and didn’t want to cut that off. I spoke with Brad’s ex wife and she was more than fine with Michael coming over every now and then to hangout with my sons.
Michael was very happy to continue joining us for our outings and even asked his mom if he could spend thanksgiving with my family this year (just myself, my boys, and my wife). We video chatted with my parents during this and they were surprised to see Michael there but didn’t comment since he was present.
They obviously told Brad about it because he called me to complain about “siding with his ex” and it’s weird still letting Michael around my family when he isn’t legally family anymore. He said the divorce was hard enough already without me still including his ex wife’s kid in my family stuff.
I honestly couldn’t believe he was acting this way and said he’s being completely ridiculous. He still thinks I’m somehow being a traitor for this. I’ve asked my other brother and parents to weigh in on this but they also fee... keep reading on reddit ➡
Haven't played my ps4 in a bit, but a friend gave me a copy of watch dogs legion so I wanted to check it out. The system is pooped. Cant get it to do anything. Did some troubleshooting, did some google, nothing worked and have to get a new one.
Step son walked in and asked, what's up dad, i told him the issue, he goes into his room and after a couple of minutes walked out with his ps4 and said take mine.
Was floored. First time he ever did that. We have been playing games together on ps4 for years, or helping eachother with games like God of War, but I never realized how much it made us bond.
Might not be much for some, but it meant a lot to me.
Also I have to fix the leak in the roof cause my eyes are all watery now
I was married to my ex-wife for 9 years. I came into my step-son's life when he was 4 and my wife and I divorced when he was 13. It's been seven years since the divorce. I've since remarried and have two kids with my current wife.
I raised my step-son (I'll be calling him JT) as my own and I loved being his father. We were very close and I wanted to adopt him but was constantly blocked by his bio dad, who's a real POS.
The divorce between me and my ex-wife was messy. We married too young and looking back, she was a toxic and negative force in my life. I also didn't know it then, but she is also bipolar, which was undiagnosed and untreated when we were together, and it explains a lot of the behavior I witnessed.
I wanted to stay in my JT's life since I basically helped raise him, but my ex refused to let me see him and threatened to tell him I'd been a cheater and abuser if I pursued any legal routes for visitation. At the time I was newly laid-off and unable to afford a good lawyer. I really regret not fighting harder/calling her bluff, but I was afraid she'd turn him against me or even lie to the police and get me arrested for something I didn't do.
JT and I reconnected last year. He's 20 now and living on his own, and in college (for engineering at that!). We've been playing catch-up and he's met my wife and one of my daughters, I've given him some things for his apartment, etcetera.
He eventually asked me why I didn't stick around after his mom and I split. I told him pretty point blank: your mom made sure I couldn't. I didn't go into detail with the threats (or why we split in the first place) but I let him know she had strong-armed me into being no-contact.
JT was understandably furious. Obviously I didn't expect his mom to have told him the truth, but I didn't realized how in the dark he'd been.
I got a call from my ex (I have the same number as I always have) with her cussing me out for slandering her to her son and talking to him in general. This is the first I've heard from her in five years, by the way.
She apparently hadn't known JT reached out to me. I told her to never contact me again, and that her son's a grown man and can do as he wishes. I've deleted her number and talked to JT, who confirmed that he confronted his mom and they fought. He's clearly really upset that she lied to him for so long and feels really betrayed by her.
I feel terrible and I'm wondering if maybe honesty (or full honesty) wasn't the best policy in this situa... keep reading on reddit ➡
Some backstory, when my son Nathan was 2, he met a friend in his daycare class, who we'll call Abby. Her dad, Jack, was one of the only other single parents there as his wife had left after Abby was born. Jack and I bonded over our children and ended up dating for a year and a half before getting married, and we had our daughter Eliza less than a year later.
Jack and I always raised all three of our children the same, and though they knew that Nathan had a different dad and Abby had a different mum, we had never thought to question if they saw each other as siblings.
Then, last week, Abby and Nathan sat Jack and I down and told us that they had something important to say. Abby started in about how for the past few years her and Jack had been in a romantic relationship. She said that it happened after they were both adults, that they had gone to relationship counselling when it first started and that they were seriously thinking about marriage. Nathan then told us that they had admitted to having feelings for each other as teenagers, but had never acted on it because they were afraid of ruining their friendship, hurting each other, and most of all what we would think.
At this point, Jack looked at me, grabbed my hand and hugged our children. He told them that he was sorry for us keeping them apart and that he 'could tell how happy they are together'. I just got up and left.
Where I might be the asshole:
My husband is right, they do look happy together. In fact, I've never seen my son or daughter happier. But I just can't accept this. I haven't responded to any of their messages or calls, and pretended I wasn't home when they tried to visit during the day. I've been fighting with Jack since this happened, even so far as telling him that if it were my choice they would never have my blessing, and I would put them both in therapy for having incestuous desires. This really upset him, and the fighting got so bad that I had him sleep in the guest house. I've never gone this long without talking to my children. I've never fought my husband. I have no idea how to navigate this, and every time I think about it their whole relationship just makes me sick and angry. That being said, I know I'm hurting my children. I know I'm hurting my husband.
Where Jack might be the asshole:
Since Abby and Nathan told us of their relationship, Jack has been going on tirades about how unsupportive I am, about how bad of a mother I am, and about how I didn't... keep reading on reddit ➡
I have been married to my 2nd husband for eight months. I have a daughter, who is twelve, and he has three sons - fifteen, seven, and five.
I hate to admit that I'm not particularly close to my step-sons, because they're still mourning their mom, and I find it awkward to talk to them and interact with them, especially the youngest, who is on the spectrum. I'm not sure how bad it is, but he's nonverbal and doesn't interact with anybody without my husband prompting him. My husband has tried his best with my daughter, and they've been bonding well.
Recently, my husband and I were talking. He mentioned that my daughter and his oldest son both have conflicting schedules, and that my daughter has an online dance recital at the same time that his son would be doing something else, and I mentioned that if he wanted to supervise his son's thing, that I wouldn't be mad, because I would be supervising my daughter's recital.
I can't remember exactly what he said, but in response, I said that my daughter would always come before his sons. And an argument came to life.
He said that it was a terrible thing to say, and that I should be disappointed in myself. However, I was simply telling the truth. I love my step-sons, but my daughter will always be first because she's my child.
So, anyways, AITA? I'll gladly accept my judgement.
My son and I had a rough few years. My wife had passed and it was very hard on him. Before her passing, we had a yearly thing where we would go to a local amusement park. It was sort of a father-son thing and my wife often didn't come along. We did plenty of other activities together as a family, but that was our special little thing.
With her passing and all, we didn't go the last two years but during that time I met a woman with a step daughter. For reference, my son is 10 and the daughter is 8. At first the new relationship was especially hard on my son, I always assured him that his mother will never be replaced, but to just think of it as an extended family.
I wanted to include my son as much as possible and I had the great idea of continuing our annual trips to the amusement park together to bring back some normalcy. Fortunately, it opened back up in limited capacity and I was able to get tickets.
When my step daughter heard we were going to the park, she begged to come along but I told her it was a father-son thing and we could always do something else together as a family later on. She cried and went through all the usual temper tantrums like "it's not fair." My wife yelled at me and told me to include her (she has to work so she can't come along).
I think my wife is being totally unreasonable. This is just a way to bond with my son and it's something he expressed he wants to do together without his step-sister. Now obviously my son is my blood and I will definitely prioritize him over my step daughter, but I don't see the big deal in doing this with my son and spending time with my step daughter later on?
The boy is aging out of 16u and there is nothing left for him in Fairbanks Alaska. We do not have an 18u team, and he/we would like to see him continue to play. Any advice or suggestions on how to promote him would be appreciated. Thanks
It fell out of his pocket the other day while we were at lunch (husband was there too). He claims it's not his ( I don't believe him). Anyway - husband and ex wife agreed to a punishment, but he has a car and job and we can't monitor him 24/7. I worry because he's been caught in multiple lies and has an addictive personality. We always tell him he can tell us anything - and when he became sexually active, he talked to my husband about it without any issues. He's admitted to drinking a few times with his buddies, etc. I want to keep the dialogue open.... please no judgement or rude comments. He's my stepson and I only have so much say regarding punishment/parenting style as he lives with his mom 90% of the time.
Full quotes from Fred Katz's article on Scott Brooks and Russell Westbrook:
"Brooks remembers Westbrook's father privately predicting to him a decade ago that his son would win an MVP one day. Brooks' response: "Let's think baby steps." Dad ended up being correct on that one."
Ok so I’m about to lose my shit. My step son is 8 years old & completely out of control.
He does anything he can think of to be disruptive. Anything within his reach will be torn down, broken in half, stepped on, hidden, thrown in the trash or thrown at me. He straight up tells me “no” ANY time I ask him to do ANYTHING! This kid will look me in the eye, throw something on the ground and start laughing. When I ask him to pick it up, TEARS! He just throws himself on the ground and starts screaming and crying, sometimes there’s kicking or hitting too. I can’t discipline him in any way because he just refuses to listen and will take off running if I try to approach him.
He is also the most manipulative child I have ever met. His newest “thing” is to start crying and say he wants to Kill himself any time he gets in trouble. He says it multiple times a day now, sometimes for absolutely no reason, just out of nowhere. He has also convinced most of his fathers family its because of me that he is so unhappy, I’m mean and unfair to him.
I have begged his father over and over to do something, but honestly neither of us know what to do. Of course, an 8 year old with suicidal thoughts is alarming as shit, and he needs help, but his father thinks it’s just for attention and that biweekly outpatient therapy is enough. I disagree, but I am not his “real mom” so have no actual say, unless I want to traumatize him with a good ole 5150... But the way he smiles and makes eye contact with me before fake crying & saying he wants to kill himself makes me think it is more attention than actual suicidal thoughts but I also have no effing clue because I’m not qualified to deal with this.
This past week we had a disagreement and he screamed at me then ran to the kitchen and grabbed a steak knife, which he proceeded to throw across the kitchen when I told him to put it down.
I have tried so hard to be a good step mom, to show him I love him & am there for him, but after this last outburst I am no longer comfortable being around him without another adult present. I am not qualified to deal with this situation & it truly feels hopeless. Like I’ll never have a normal relationship. I’m exhausted and defeated.
One of many family issues looming for me this holiday season. My father was an alcoholic and very abusive as the years went on. I gave him an ultimatum after I went to college: me or the booze. He chose the booze so I cut him out of my life. Eventually he drove away my mom. A few years after their divorce he drank himself to death. It had a huge impact on my life.
My mom remarried a nice guy a few years after my father's death. By the time he came into our lives I was not only out of the house I had a full time job and was married. I try to be respectful, I really have nothing against him because he's always made my mother happy but to me he's never been my step-father, because he's never really been a father figure. Years go by and my wife and I started having kids. My mom and him want my kids to call him their grandpa but I always refer to him as their step-grandfather and now they're hurt. They say he's the only grandfather they'll ever have and I'm just being rude
To me this isn't even about my mom's husband, it's about my father. Even though my he isn't around and probably wouldn't have been allowed in their lives, he was still my father and by extension their grandfather. I loved him even though I cut him out my life for my own safety. I'm finally at peace enough with his memory to tell stories to my kids about the good times. When they're old enough I even plan on explaining some of the bad things as well. At the very least his life can serve as a lesson for them.
Does any of this make me an asshole?
Edit: Just a point of clarity. I was never saying my kids needed to go away from calling him grandpa because they never have. I have 5 neices and nephews all older than my kids and none of them have ever called him grandpa either, they all call him by his given name. My mom and her husband wanted to change what everyone is calling him and that's how this came about.
First of all I am asking that you please be kind, I’m struggling with mental health enough as it’s been a rough year for me as I’m sure it has been for so many others. I’m looking for a safe space to be able to talk about these unique situations that most people in my life can not relate to & I think this subreddit is a great place to start.
I’m frustrated. I’m honestly at my wits end. I’ve been dating my SO for the past 2+ years. I now live with him and his 8YO son who he has full custody of. I am a 26 year old female. My boyfriend (27) is the greatest man I have ever dated, he really is my best friend and even the thought of leaving him breaks my heart. I have cried myself to sleep in silence the past 2 nights just thinking about how I can’t handle his son for much longer & how awful it would be to leave my boyfriend. My heart is torn.
But then there is his son... his son is a terror. I’m getting to a breaking point and I don’t know what to do. He is so disrespectful to his father and that is the number one thing that pisses me off. He is a compulsive liar & manipulator. My boyfriend works 60+ hours a week to be able to give his son the best life possible. This child has everything he needs and SOOOO much more. I have a list of things I could write but I’m going to write about the few things that have happened just since this past Monday. So please keep in mind that there are hundreds (not exaggerating) of other stories I could tell about this kid, there are so many other things that have upset me before this week.
Monday morning was an awful morning, my boyfriend and I got up for work and he woke his son up an hour before he had to leave for work (he goes to Gramma’s during the day). My boyfriend told his son to get up, get changed & get his socks & shoes on so he could eat breakfast and be ready to go on time. His son refused to get out of bed. He started whining in his baby voice “I’m too cold” “I’m hungry” “I don’t want to get changed” “I’m tired” blah blah blah. My boyfriend went to go shower and get ready for work so I took over from there, this is about 30 mins after my SO woke his son up. I continued to nicely ask him to please get out of bed and get dressed because dad needs to leave. He continued to refuse and whine and cry while still laying in bed. I told him he no longer has time to eat here because he has wasted his time whining and crying so I will put cereal in a ziplock bag and he can eat at Gramma’s, and that w... keep reading on reddit ➡
My wife and I have a hers, mine, and ours situation. She came into the marriage with a now 5 year old. I have a 12 year old. We have 1.5 year old twins together (thanks clomid). We have a 2 bedroom house with a finished basement and a sort of nursery room that my wife uses as an office. The girls use the second bedroom and my son has the basement.
There was a house fire two weeks ago in the middle of the night while I was gone helping my parents. My wife immediately collected the girls and the babies diaper bag. She said she yelled "fire" and thought that my son had already run out the door from the basement, and that she felt the highest priority was getting the babies out because she has seen how quickly young children die in fires. Which is almost understandable if she went looking for him outside. However. She went BACK INTO THE HOUSE, went TO THE KITCHEN, packed 5s insulin (T1 diabetic) and ran back out without checking the basement which is right there.
My son is fine now thanks to the firemen, but suffered some lung damage. It will take years for his lungs to fully recover. Sports in high school? Likely gone. He's not on oxygen or anything but he can't do sports for a long while.
My wife and I have been fighting bitterly since then. Divorce isn't an option or it would be on the table (we would both be homeless). She has always complained that my son has never listened to or respected or in the past, while my son always said that he felt like she didn't like him. I asked her why he would respect her, when she truly proved that she would hold everything, even insulin, over his life. I know insulin is expensive, but it's the principle.
I told my son that I was sorry I didn't see the truth before and that he didn't have to respect or listen to my wife anymore, but that financially we all just have to live in the same house and deal with each other so just treat her like any passing stranger. She argued with me saying that I was just giving him a free pass to "make her life hell". Quite frankly, turnabout seems like fair play. AITA?
My wife is not the diabetic. The 5 year old is. "5" refers to the 5 year old.
Back when my parents were together my dad was huge into football and he got me into football and pretty much every sport (except for basketball) at the age of like 5 or 6. My parents divorced when I was 7 and my dad remarried when I was 8 to my step mom who had 2 kids of her own (2 boys both younger) who were 5 and 6. I am now 16 and a HUGE chargers fan, I bought a Justin Herbert jersey and was gonna wear it down to my friend's house. He is a family friend who I've known since back when my parents were still together. my step mom's youngest son is also a pretty big football fan and is a fan of Justin Herbert like me, I was about to head out with my friends when he stole my jersey and was wearing it in the living room with his friends who were over.
I told him to take it off and he just wouldn't the game was gonna start in like 20 minutes and I needed to leave in the next 5 minutes if I wanted to make it there on time. When I told him to take it off he refused to and we fought about it for a few minutes but he was stubborn to not give it up. (this is where I might be TA) I practically yelled and said "give me my FUCKING jersey right now". I guess that embarrassed him and he gave me back my jersey and I went to my friend's house.
I came home like maybe 6 or 7 hours later and my step mom talked to me about what happened (my dad is on a business trip at the moment). She said I need to "grow up" and that I was out of line to embarrass my "brother" in front of his friends and she forced me to apologize to him. AITA?
I've seen some post similar to this so I thought I could post it here.
Me, my (new) husband and our two kids are all moved into a new house. It's just a three bedroom, I have a son (15m) and my husband has a daughter (15f). All three rooms are the same size expect for the master which has a bathroom, it's no bigger and the other room also has a walk in closet, so the only difference is the bathroom.
I thought my son would be okay with his new sister having the room with the bathroom so she could have more privacy but he's not. It's always just been us two and he's always had the master, same for my step daughter, in fact my husband never really had a bedroom after he became a single dad.
I thought as a girl she needed her own bathroom more and I gave it to her, I was also thinking it could help her warm up to me. My husband agreed it was the right move.
I knew my son wouldn't be happy but he's holding onto this a lot longer than he has anything else and finally went to "sleepover" at his friends house, but it's been more than a week. He also went from trying to be nice to his new sister and my husband to being rude and cold.
I thought he'd get over it and I honestly thought I was making the right move.
Rant/Mobil use- please excuse the formatting. Straight forward just like the title says. AITA for taking my Step Sons phone? I bought my children IPhones this year 4 of my bio children and my Step Son. So 5 iPhones, I pay for the content and monthly fees I pay for it all. Step Son is 8.. his mother just went off on me because I took his phone away, Step son wanted to argue and roll his eyes and lie to my face. So I had treated him like one of my bio kids if they are being held responsible for their actions and I took his phone for the day. Step sons mother texted me and called me every name in the book and told me that was a cruel punishment. My husband agreed with me at the time when I took the phone but did not stand up to baby momma when she called me every name in the book in front of Step son. I don’t think IATA here. Usually my husband is in charge of consequences and punishment of step son but step son didn’t lie to his dad he lied to me.
My wife has a week-on week-off custodial schedule with her ex (Dad) with their son (Jack). A few years back when Jack was 7, my wife went to pick him up from Dad’s house as usual only this time Dad and his wife (SM) both wanted to have a serious talk with her. They asked Jack to go brush his teeth so they could have this chat. They talked about Jack’s behavior as of late and how they believe it is inappropriate for Jack to be playing a particular Star Wars video game (BF2) because they felt it was not appropriate for his age and inferring that it was the reason for his ‘acting out’. My wife explained that we were not seeing the same behavior they are describing over at our house at all and that barring him from playing a game he loved [playing with me] seemed excessive. They tried to push back on it some more but my wife said she wasn’t going to do it and abruptly left with Jack.
The next day, I drop off Jack to school. Apparently he overheard the conversation because he immediately went up to his SM (who works at the charter school Jack attends) and asked if he was still allowed to play said game. SM responded that his father would prefer if he didn’t but it was ultimately his (Jack’s) choice since it was not at their house. When Jack was picked up by my wife later on, he was quick to announce that he could not longer play the game anymore. Upon hearing this (from my wife when I got home from work), I got visibly upset and told Jack that SM should not have told him that and it was wrong for her to say anything to him about it. I explained that at my house, I set the rules while also reminding him that Dad and SM set the rules for their house. I did not say anything derogatory or off-putting but there was no hiding how unhappy with SM I was in the moment. (It may be worth noting that Jack never did play the game during that stay with us despite us reassuring him it was perfectly okay if he did).
A few days later, we learn that Jack has started actively avoiding SM while at school and almost seemed scared to even talk to her. After learning this I attempted to have another conversation with him explaining that it was okay to talk and hang out with SM and tried to convey that things were smoothed over (mostly) between us. It helped a little but it seems things never really went back to how they were.
Fast forward now and this is still being hung over my head as if I single handedly ruined their relationship. So AITA for reacting the way I did?
This post is not on AITA as the mods refuse to let me update, or help me fix my posts to match the guidelines.
Hello, Again. Obligatory apology for formatting as this was written on Mobile.
Many of you have asked for updates on Nathan and Abby, and I’m pleased to say that I talked things out with both. I apologised for my original reaction, and we did end up going to family therapy for a while (with Jack and Eliza)
They definitely don’t have a conventional relationship, and do still see each other as siblings. Both told me and the therapist this.
However, they do genuinely love one another, and are willing to make it work. They’re currently in seperate and relationship counselling.
As strange as I still find it, it does make sense in a way. They’ve always been each other’s whole worlds, and they’ve always loved one another more than anyone else.
They are currently engaged, as Abby is pregnant. Last night I took her to my seamstress to surprise her with my wedding dress altered to her size. We’re going to have the wedding soon because she doesn’t want to show on her wedding day.
I still think that my husband was being TA, but I was unintentionally hurting my children, which makes me one too. Despite my NTA judgement, I’ve decided I need to work on myself and support my children.
As for my husband, well, that’s a story for another day.
If you check her instagram, she goes into detail. The boys have low grade fevers and seem to be doing okay, but everyone has to wear masks outside their room.
Angela has a blended family with her husband. Angela has one daughter from a previous marriage and her husband has two sons from a previous marriage. All three kids look to be roughly middle school aged. They seem to have been pretty homebound since this all started, so it is surprising they picked it up but LA is in the midst of an outbreak.
I married my husband 2 years ago and my relationship with my stepson (12) has never been well. We tried everything but nothing seems to work. His behavior towards me is so terrible, he shouts at me, swears me, and calls me worst “mother” ever.
His 13th birthday is tomorrow and since my daughter (7F) birthday is only 10 days apart we usually celebrate them both in the same day (they are fine with it). I asked my stepson who he has invited and that's when he facepalms (gesture) and tells me that he has already answered this question before in the worst tone ever. This is where I lost it and told him that because of his attitude I am going to cancel his birthday tomorrow. At first he didn’t believe me since it’s not the first time I intend to punish him without actually doing it in the end. But this time I was serious, and to prove it to him I called his grandparents and told them his birthday got cancelled. He started crying begging me not to cancel but I told him it’s too late.
I got berated by his grandparents because of this and told me that I don’t have the rights to cancel his birthday. As his mother I am pretty sure I can do what I want though but they weren’t listening to me. They even told me that tomorrow they are coming to his birthday with the gifts even after I told them not to bother because I won’t open the door.
edit: facepalm award? really?
In 2016 he was diagnosed with neuroblastoma at 6 years old. In 2018 his dad and I started dating. And December 10th 2020 cancer took him. He was almost 11.
My daughter just turned 6- quite poetic as she turned six at the time of his passing, the same age when he was diagnosed.
My boyfriend/fiancé has regularly been seeing the same therapist for 3 years and I am scheduled to see my therapist for the first time in 3 years. Both therapist relationships were established to get us through our respective divorces.
SS didn’t live with us- he lived with hcbm two hours away. The three of them have had a long and ugly relationship. They had him as teenagers and grew into each other in a wicket way- think thorny roses gripping them painfully.
Anyway- that’s all. I’m not sure what else to say or why I’m here.
For context I am a 34 year old woman on my second marriage. My husband and I have been married almost four years and we have a 20 month old baby boy together. From our previous relationships, I have a 9 year old son and my husband has 2 kids, the oldest is Allyson who is 20. She has an 8 month old daughter.
My ex and I put away money each month for our son in a college/emergency/whatever fund for him once he’s an adult. It’s not huge my any means but it’s a nice safety cushion for him just in case.
Allyson’s daughter was a preemie and has some food sensitivities, infant eczema, and some other problems doctors are looking out for. She’s on special formula and has to take medicine and go to the doctor a lot. my husband and his ex wife help where they can but the different things can be expensive, even with gov aid.
He asked recently if I could help pay for some of the baby’s things each month. I told him I can’t really afford to consistently pay for my older son’s specialist, myself, our son, AND a baby. I don’t mind occasionally helping but over $100 each month is not easy when we are already supporting a large family.
My husband suggested I take a break from putting money into Jaiden’s fund for a few months so I can save that money for “more immediate” needs. I let him know that I’m not comfortable with putting my son aside especially since my ex and I both contribute to it. I suggested Allyson maybe move to full time at her current job or start working nights again since they paid more, but she’s been resistant to the suggestion. I can tell my husband is disappointed and I feel guilty for saying no. He said I was being cold. Am I being an asshole?
This page has helped me think and understand more of what stepparents go through. I'm just looking for advice on how I can support her. This is truly eye opening!! I'm so glad I stumbled across this page. What do some of you wish your partner did more to care for your needs as a step parent? She makes me so happy so I want to make sure I'm making her happier.
Soo, I'm (28) 14 weeks pregnant (4months). I am having a girl. My SO's (28) son (5) has been talking about his new little sister. He just told me that he's "getting a little brother when his little sister dies." I'm kind of freaked out, but my SO encouraged me not to ask about it and told his son to never say that again. I know his (sons) mother is extremely jealous of me, trying to split us up at every chance she gets and trying to make her son hate me, very bad off on drugs. She will come up with information that completely nonsense and try to tell my SO that he child isn't allowed to be around me, which she cannot stop. We live together and are soon to be married. I'm wondering if these two things may have a connection, but more so I want to know how my SOs child came up with this idea. It really bothers me, deeply. Any thing I should be seeing in this situation? Or thoughts on this?
For the last few months, I’ve been noticing things coming up missing in our bedroom. I thought nothing of it until I noticed the same things popping up in his bedroom!! When i ask him about them, he will say he bought it and he has no idea where MY items went - but whole time, ITS MINE! And he will try to make me feel crazy! Last month I asked him where the raid was, he said he didn’t know but it was DIRECTLY BEHIND HIM! When I called him out and said “it’s behind you.” He started stuttering and said “how’d that get in here?” So I said “whatever, Just give it to me” That and he refuses to help buy groceries because he “doesn’t eat the food” but will sneak out of his room at night and silently eat ALL THE DAMN FOOD! Every time I have leftovers they’re GONE!
Today I came home and before I left I made sure to shut the door tightly because my older cat has been coming in my room and eating all of my kittens food while I’m gone. When I came home the door was hanging WIDE OPEN!! I know it wasn’t the cat, for the simple facts when the cats open the door they barely crack it open. The door was almost COMPLETELY open. Also because all the kittens food was untouched, and they were both sleeping in the living room.
I’m getting tired of having to ask for my own things back and him LYING, claiming they’re his and denying me of MY OWN THINGS!
What can I do to catch him doing this or stop him? Like a booby trap or something.... he always DENIES coming in our room but we KNOW FOR A FACT HE IS! And we DEFINITELY KNOW HE’S STEALING OUR THINGS because EVERY TIME something comes up missing, ITS IN HIS ROOM!... last month, I peeked in his room and just standing in the DOOR WAY and SCANNING his room, I saw AT LEAST 20 OF MY ITEMS I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR!
He even had my husbands DVD of his ex wife’s wedding video that he’s been looking for for over 6 years-and DENYING KNOWING WHERE IT IS EACH TIME HE ASKED HIM!....
He steals the STUPIDEST SHIT... it’s things he has ABSOLUTELY NO USE FOR but it completely inconveniences us! Example: a massive role of tape, batteries, DVDs, shampoo, soap, conditioner, raid, chargers, food and drinks we hid so HE WOULDNT TAKE THEM ALL.... basically anything he sees! And when we ask if he’s seen them, he will say “what use do I have for that? Why would I take it?” And when he’s gone, we will FIND IT IN HIS ROOM!
Example: we bought a pack of 100 batteries. It was a very specific brand, it’s a random brand we found that we’ve NEVER SEEN BEFOR... keep reading on reddit ➡