I think she kicked him out because she maybe found drugs. He was picked up by friends and I think never seen again.
Very vague details I know. And may not be completely accurate.
I think I saw it on ID channel. Maybe disappeared?
So my grandmother lives alone in East York and her alzheimer's is beginning to worsen. My Dad has been going to take care of her when he can but also has work. I have my own family and kids to look after who go to school and we work in Markham and don't want to risk getting her getting sick from covid in case we get it as she's in her 80's and also has breathing issues. She's currently on a waiting list for nursing homes and has been for months. My Dad is worried about nursing homes in general as there have been covid outbreaks and he's concerned about personal support workers as some have been catching covid too but it seems to be the only option. Are there any other places or resources available or suggestions as I told my Dad I don't think she should be alone anymore but we have no other family here who would be able to help look after her.
Edit : Thank you everybody for your suggestions I will look into everything posted and our options we can use, it's very much appreciated hope everyone has a safe and happy holidays!
This is in Arizona and my grandpa suffers from dementia so he doesn’t understand what’s going on. My step grandmother and mom had a healthy relationship and this is so out of character of her. What can we do to get our stuff back that she is holding hostage? Are we screwed since they are married so it is technically her stuff now?
UPDATE: I just found out this afternoon that my grandmother was approved for hospice and they gave her a sponge bath and my dad will be provided with necessary training to help with diapers etc. I plan to call and offer whatever help he will take, but I am relieved to know that she is being taken care of professionally and has gotten a bath. Thank you all for your support and advice.
Hi all. My grandmother is 93 and is at the end of her life. She has cancer but chose not to undergo treatment and has been living with it for the last year and a half. Recently, she decided to stop taking all of her regular medications and has stated that she is ready to go. My dad (71) who lives with her had her evaluated for hospice and she is getting support from them. However, it doesn't sound like hospice comes often, and my dad is struggling to get her to the bathroom and things like that. He is not the greatest caretaker and smokes a lot of pot which makes him anxious and forgetful. He has become weird as of late and I asked my mom (they are divorced) to reach out to him as she is more experienced with end of life care and lives closer to them than I do. She has been helping him a bit but has not seen my grandmother. My grandmother does not want me to come visit or help my dad take care of her. She just wants to go.
Last night my mom called me very upset and said that she learned from my dad that my grandmother has not bathed in quite some time. She suggested he call his cousin who is a former nurse and helped his aunt with her end of life care to see if she would help come bathe her. My dad is not one to ask for help and will not call her. My mom is partially disabled and also cannot help in that way. There is no other family to care for her. Should I step in even though I have been explicitly asked by both my dad and grandmother not to? I don't know the first thing about bathing someone (I don't have bio kids and my stepkids were older when I got involved) and I don't want to make my Nonie uncomfortable. She is a very private woman and was always the caretaker growing up - she is not used to being cared for. At the same time, I worry that she might be at risk for bedsores and want her to die with dignity. I know she hasn't had her hair done in a long time too and while I don't know how to do it, I feel like if I could clean and blowdry it she might feel a little more dignified.
I don't know what to do and my heart is breaking. I don't know how much time she has lef... keep reading on reddit ➡
Hey, first time poster here. Excuse my format as I am on mobile.
Me, (23M) and my girlfriend of 2 years (21F) have been talking a lot about marriage recently and I'm going to surprise her later this week with an engagement ring and ask her the important question that will change our lives forever. She really is an amazing woman and she completes me. The problem on the other hand is that marrying her, I marry into her family, which I wouldn't mind at all if it weren't for her grandma and stepdad.
You see, her grandma, bless her old soul, is quite the control freak in the way that she has to know everything that is going on in my girlfriend's life and when she finds out we are making any decisions, she has to insert her two-sense and say that we have to do it her way. And yes, I know I should just put up with it and let her live her last year's as she wants it, but my girlfriend has been mentally and verbally abused most of her life by a good portion of her family and former boyfriend. It's showing that the more the grandma is making her revert back to her old ways of just doing what anyone says. And of course just to add to that, I really do not like her grandma when she does stuff like that to the both of us. She is even trying to control my life for me whenever we talk. That is one of the reasons why I really need to know what to do, and I just can't think clearly right now because of all this stuff going on in my personal life.
And to make the rest of this short, her step-dad is a serial verbal and emotional abuser. He even tried to choke out my girlfriend once (that's why she is living with her grandma atm. Should've said that earlier I know) and her mom just forgave him and thinks he did nothing wrong. He hates my guts because I helped my girlfriend out of the situation she was in and I'm making sure he will never lay a hand on her again.
But in conclusion, what do I do? How do I deal with these toxic family members that I will be marrying into while I watch both me and my girlfriend turn into submissive slaves to them?
She was a model in the 60’s and 70’s. She was married to my Grandfather but did not use his name. Her stage name was “Lyn Larson”. Birth name was Lyn Latcham and her full name was Carolyn Grace Latcham. She was Runner up in Miss Illinois in 1969. My mom remember her in a Winston commercial, Salem commercial, a fudge cycle commercial, and a Timex commercial with Lauren Hutton. She had a small role in a movie but did mostly print. I’ve only seen one picture of her, my mom is too young to remember, and my grandfather is deceased. Can anyone out there help us? I just would like my family to be able to learn more about her.
Edit: thank you so much for all the information! My mom was so excited about all this information.
I'm planning to contact the state of Maine about getting an informational copies of the birth/death certificates for one of my step-grandmothers. I know her name, the town where she was born (and died, probably), and the names of her parents. What I don't have are the precise DOB and DOD - only the years (1908 and 1928).
Generally speaking, would not having the exact dates make any search pointless, or would I be providing enough required information for them to find the records?
My grandmother gave us her gorgeous round dining room table. We used it for years but then bought another DR table that we like even more. So I decided to make her table into a coffee table. I cut down the pedestal and sanded the top so I could refinish it. The stain I put on was just awful, so I sanded it off... and didn’t realize I had exposed large patches of the MDF in multiple places until it was much too late. It’s awful.
I’ve been doing some research and it looks like putting new veneer over the whole table top is the way to go. I’m disappointed to lose the little imperfections the table has accrued over the years, but at this point I just want to stop kicking myself. Any tips for working with veneer? Should I buy a wide roll of heat-activated veneer, or a sheet? Is this maple or something else?
Pics show the table before and after sanding (I should have stopped there and put a clear coat on it), after sanding off some of the dark stain and the exposed MDF.
This is quite long and I urge you all offering your opinion to read through but here's a TL;DR in case.
TL;DR my stepdad's mother treated me like family until my little sister was born and then started to show special treatment and made a distinction between the two of us. Last night I mentioned that she calls me a nickname that she mainly uses on my sister (in jest) and she told me that just because she calls me that by accident doesn't mean she's referring to me (her exact words but she's intentionally called me that before) and after offering to help look for a gift with her and my sister for my mother's birthday (my sister is buying the gift) she looks at me with a fake smile and a nasty stare and said "we'll manage!" To which I left the room and sobbed because I've been dealing with this for 10 years. I've spoken to my mother about it but there isn't really anything we can do, am I overreacting?
Info: I'm 22 now and my sister is 9. My mom got married 10 years ago to my stepdad, this month is 10 years actually and I love them both so much. When they got married I was an only child, born out of wedlock and this was my mother first marriage, and my stepdad's second. He never had kids with his ex wife so his parents first biological grandchild was my little sister. I was 11 when I met his parents and they doted on me so much, treated me like their own blood, my granddad in particular. For simplicity sake I'm gonna refer to my stepdad's parents as Granddad and Mutti (she's German and prefers to be called this) Oupa and Ouma for my mom's parents and my Mom and stepdad as my parents since he's raised me from 11 till now, so he really is a dad to me.
So just under a year after my parents got married they had my baby sister, I had just recently turned 13, and it was the best thing ever we were both born on the 11th (me in July and her in August) at 11:25am, she was like my twin except 13 years and a month late. My grandparents were excited on both sides, and though my mother's parents, my Oupa and Ouma treated me like they always did but Mutti started pulling back from me and pushing all her affection on my sister, which I was okay with for a while since she's a baby and it's how things work with a new baby but it never stopped. My granddad still treated me like I was his own and loved me unconditionally till the day he died, and I miss him because of how he used to treat me. He died the year I turned 15 with my Oupa following a few months later.
As we... keep reading on reddit ➡
My grandfather remarried to my now step grandmother who I call Grandmother when my dad was a kid, but I've always been closer to my grandma (his ex wife). My grandma passed and almost ten years ago and the other day when we went to have dinner with them my grandmother stated (not asked) that my sister and I should call her grandma. I was taken a back and tried to explain as politely as possible that I have one grandma ( I call my mom's mom Nana) and even if my grandma is dead she is still my grandma and I don't feel comfortable with "replacing" her.
My grandmother became very sad and upset and left to stay in her room for the rest of the night, my grandfather said that I should be more caring and that my grandmother feels as if she does not fit in. My parents, sister and I left and my dad explained how he understood, and my mom had no comment. But my sister said she is fine with calling our Grandmother "grandma". My sister was very young when our grandma died and doesn't have any memory of her.
In the end I feel like an asshole for making my grandmother feel as if she isn't part of my family, but I still don't believe I should call her grandma. AITA?
Note: it is important to this story that you know i am athiest and everyone else is christian (especially step grandmother)
I(15m) was talking with my grandfather (66m) about how people used to be shorter and i said jesus (who was a real person though i dont think he was the son of god) was 4'2. He then said he was actually 6'2 according to the shroud of turran. My step grandmother(57f) then said "strange he bielieves in jesus but not in god" i said "i think he was real just not a prophet" she replied "but he was" meanwhile my grandfather is trying to get my attention back because he dislikes it when we argue. I dont view her as family and will not ever. I view her as nothing more than that a roommate. I said "im not going to have this conversation your being ignorant" and after some more back and forth decided to fuck off to my room.
So deciding gods of reddit. Was i the ass hole
Edit: i would like to clear some things up. She was in a separate room when this happened. She overheard what we were talking about. I put in the conversation about jesus' height so people would not think it was a religious conversation beforehand. She was not part of the conversation to begin with. She said what she said to spite me. She does this often as she dislikes me very much for not being christian and being a "homo sympathiser" as she put it. I was not trying to change or shape her or my grandfathers views on religiousness.
Also p.s. i know i overreacted somewhat. I have had some really bad shit happening in my life (check one of my comments below) so i am not in the best place emotionally
Ok.. first time posting here, I’m on mobile sorry for formatting issues.. I just want some advice.
As the title says, my step-Grandfather “R” recently connected with a daughter, “A”, he never knew he had (found each other through Ancestry or something). Anyways, a month or two ago A wanted to come visit R and my grandmother, along with A’s son (22). With COVID being so prominent in FL, and with my grandparents being high risk, as well as my father (47) and brother (13), it was decided that the trip wasn’t a good idea. Subsequently the trip was pushed off until, well, now apparently. A wants to fly from AZ with her son in 10 days. COVID is worse now than it has been, especially in FL. I know A wants to meet R and he is equally excited to meet his daughter, I don’t know how to feel about it though, or what advice to offer my grandmother on how to deal with the situation.
I was having lunch with my parents and my step-gran yesterday. As conversation turned to my younger cousins being on to their second pregnancies and likely to more - all very stuck in the breeder mentality. I commented that my partner had discussed it and kids were 'not for us' and our plan was to enjoy our dog... and more likely to end up with a sled team!
My Gran's response was a blunt - "Good! Honestly if I had my time over and knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have had children. I grew up in time where that was what you did. I'm so glad you don't have to". Then proceeded to say she believed our plan for a sled team was 'wonderful' and kept asking when she could dogsit our current floof.
The conversation continued on to how much children were simply expected when she was growing up, and how the world is still very tethered to this idea - but she was much more optimistic this changing as the world has more people choosing their own path over a LifeScript. I feel lucky to be able to make the decisions my step-gran now wishes she could have made.
TL;DR My step-grandmother supports not having children and wouldn't have had them if she was young right now.
I don't mean the stepfather of one's parent; I mean someone who married one's grandmother later in life. I'll explain: Both my biological grandfathers passed away years ago, and both sets of my biological grandparents divorced well before I was born.
For context, my father's parents (we'll say Bob and Jill; not their real names) divorced when he was 12. He and his brothers lived with Bob, and Jill remarried to Harry. Bob, my father's father (my biological grandfather) died when I was 2, so I've really only known Harry as my grandfather on my father's side of the family, even though he is not my father's stepfather. What's the word (if there is one) for Harry's relation to me?
Let’s get to the context before you hang me. (Also all swears have been replaced to make it more reader friendly). Warning context: StepGMa broke up Grandpa’s first marriage through means of an affair. We tolerate StepGrandma for Grandpa’s sake but it’s strained.
Recently, one of my cousins and his girlfriend announced they are expecting a baby, and my aunt was so excited because she has been hinting at wanting grandchildren. My cousin and his girlfriend know the gender, but only told his brothers and his mom, my aunt.
During a call with my step grandmother, she was complaining about how it was horrible that she can’t see her great-grandbaby, and how no one has asked her how she is doing. She then complained:
“I even heard that they know what my baby is going to be, but no one will tell us! It’s broken Grandpa’s heart! Don’t people know how hard it is for us during this virus? What if my baby gets sick and is miscarried? I will never know how to properly mourn them.”
I lost it. I told her to shut the eff up, and that this wasn’t about her. This was about cousin and his girlfriend trying to celebrate them becoming parents, how this was a small spot of joy for them during all this effing mess and they can celebrate how they want. I told her that her being an effing grandparent meant support, not being effing entitled to the child, and if she felt she deserved to know the gender, she could effing ASK instead of effing complain and seeking effing attention. I then ended it with saying that maybe Grandpa would know the gender of his second great-grandchild if she hadn’t ruined his effing marriage.
She hung up on me and later I got a really angry call from my grandfather, demanding that I apologize. I tried to explain but he said we don’t talk about the affair and hung up.
My grandfather won’t talk to me, but my cousin (the one who is expecting the baby) called me and thanked me for telling stepgrandma to eff off because she has been hounding them to know the gender of ‘her baby’. It’s kinda made things awkward when I talk to my family right now and due to quarantine, it’s really been bugging me.
CW: Violence, Murder
I learn more and more and today my heart stopped. I just don't know how to breathe so I think this is a place that makes sense.
From a young age, I have carried the harrowing story of my grandmother’s death. It happened not even two weeks after the wedding of my parents, which was in Canada. My maternal side is Filipino. International calls were very expensive and my mother connected for a few minutes to my grandmother. It was a special moment of celebration and their last.
When people would ask me about my Filipino grandparents I probably should have filtered my grief but saying she was stabbed to death by a mercenary in daylight gave way to a brutal silence. On the one hand I wanted to move on having read the room. On the other, there was always morbid curiosity.
The Philippines is the love of my life but it is not my home. So the scene that unfolded can only be partially reconstructed.
My grandfather worked in finance and had a few concerning interactions with the military. They were unhappy with his inability to meet their demands. It was time to take. It was time he found the truth about the manager in the bank saying no.
It was clearly orchestrated. She was home alone even though their youngest still lived there. The man appeared at the gate and kindly asked her for water as he was parched. She brought him water and handed it to him but the gate never closed.
He stabbed her on the walkway. He stabbed her in the house. He chased her when she managed to get outside again. She was stabbed 17 times and the final one was from the back and through the heart.
The neighbours could see her and hear her screaming and running around the house throughout this entire ordeal. They called my grandfather over and over. He rushed to her but with that final wound, she had finally slumped over. The man was gone. She was close to hope, at least the car, but number 17 sufficed and gave my grandfather only enough time to see the lights go.
None of the children (16 to early 30s) were allowed back in the house because it was a place of nightmares. Every room reflected her fight for life. The amount of blood everywhere was too much for anyone to see.
My mother flew back immediately and they extended the funeral date. She made sure her sisters would keep it together or they all would fall apart.
She personally doesn’t follow any custom like this (none of them do) but when it was time for ritual and internment, they all looked down to see a... keep reading on reddit ➡
(I think this is the sub where we post things like this? I've never fully understood what goes where.)
My cousin and his wife recently moved to the city where these people were found, and she sent me this link. Apparently there was a huge manhunt for the children a few days ago. The part of this that I find the most upsetting, personally, is how freely these assholes admitted to their motive. It shows just how convicted they are that their actions are correct, justified and socially acceptable. It appears they expected to get away with this.
Quoting from the article:
"Authorities say the boys’ step grandfather took them with the help of their grandmother. The grandmother allegedly kept the boys’ mother inside against her will at the Tekamah Motel, where several family members were living, while [the stepfather] took the boys.
Authorities say it was an apparent attempt to teach the mother she was a bad parent. The mother eventually escaped and contacted police.
[The stepfather] faces several state and federal charges. Authorities say he will be extradited back to Nebraska. The boys’ grandmother was taken into custody on charges of obstruction and aiding and abetting."
According to my family, the attitude in Wichita is mixed. Cousin's wife says that a shocking number of people seem to think that grandmothers are fully within their rights to teach their DIL's this sort of lesson.
Edit: wow. I just want to thank everyone for all of the support and love. It's seriously overwhelming and made my week. Growing up around JNG was a struggle and still is at times, but I'm really thankful for this sub and knowing I'm not alone. Much love everyone!
So I've been posting a bit recently about my step-grandmother JNG. In an earlier post I mentioned my JY Dad, who is JNG's step son. That got me to thinking about their relationship, and man is there one story above all others that really cements what a POS she is.
My dad's actual mother, who I am named after, died of cancer when my dad was in his early twenties. I never got to meet her, and was born about a year after she died. Before my grandmother died, she bought my dad an extremely nice watch as a last gift; she probably spent about five grand on it. It's beautiful and he wore it pretty much everyday after. My entire childhood I don't think I ever saw my dad without it; that watch was absolutely his most prized possession.
Dad struggled with alcoholism and addiction since he was a teenager. It all came to a head when I was a freshman in high-school and he got arrested and he ended up going to rehab. During this time, my family lost our house and we had to move in with JNG. The judge said dad wouldn't have to do any jail time, but would have to stay in rehab the full 90 days and then stay in a halfway house for at least 6-9 months with weekly check-ins and meetings with counselors and AA. Dad needed money to pay for this because if he wasn't able to pay he was going to go to jail instead. He asked his father, JNG's husband to help him and he said yes.
JNG did not like this answer and did not want her husband to pay for my dad's rehab. Granted she hadn't worked in years, had a nanny for her own son, and did absolutely nothing to support a house. It was all of my grandfather's money, yet she still felt inclined to demand that my father get no support, knowing that it would send my dad to jail.
Finally, she relents. BUT my dad has to give up his watch to them in order to get the money.
Let me back up. My grandfather had an affair with JNG and left his marriage for her when my dad was 5 years old. After the divorce, JNG did not allow my grandfather to have contact with his ex and all visitation was to be scheduled through JNG. So at 5 years old my dad had to ride a bus 3 hours between towns every other weekend to visit his dad and JNG because JNG did not allow contact for custody switches.... keep reading on reddit ➡