Twelve-year-old Crystal Gayle Dittmeyer lived in Oklahoma City with her mother Tammi, step-father, and half siblings. The family lived at Pickwick Place Apartments near I-240. On June 13, 1996, Crystal's step-father, Benjamin Crider, was out of town for a business trip and was not expected to return until later that evening. Tammi had plans to visit a friend and left the apartment around noon, leaving Crystal by herself. Tammi returned around 3 pm and found the door locked from the inside with the chain. She went to her sister's home, which was in the same apartment complex, for a few minutes then returned home. This time the door was unlocked and Benjamin was home. Benjamin said he had not seen Crystal since arriving home, and Crystal was nowhere to be found. Crystal had last been seen by a friend near the apartment complex pool, with an injured hand.
Her step-father Benjamin was considered a suspect from day one. At 4:30 pm the day of Crystal's disappearance, Benjamin left the apartment to return a company vehicle to his employer. He did not return until 6:30 pm. Authorities state the trip should have only taken him 15 minutes, not two hours, and Benjamin had no explanation for this time gap. His supervisor confirmed that Benjamin had attended a seminar on June 13, but had turned in a travel voucher with 100 miles more than he had been authorized for.
The day after Crystal's disappearance, authorities noticed injuries on Benjamin's hands, and he had what looked like bite marks on his arm. He also had bruises on his shoulders. He had also purchased a new garment bag. Inside the apartment, blood was found on the carpet, a table leg, a towel, and a bedspread; as well as a pair of jeans and a bra. Blood matching Crystal's blood type was found inside Benjamin's work vehicle.
Authorities developed the theory that Benjamin had returned home from the business seminar and found Crystal using the master bathroom shower, which was against the rules, and had killed her after an argument took place. He then placed her body inside a garment bag, and used that to transport her body to his work vehicle before dumping her body. They believed he moved the body again two days later, possibly to a creek in Yukon, Oklahoma.
Two weeks after Crystal's disappearance, her half brother told authorities he had walked into his parent's room while they were arguing, and saw Crystal laying still on the floor. Her eyes were open and her legs were straight out. Tammi ushered the... keep reading on reddit ➡
My daughter is 21 years old and diagnosed with BPD and Bi polar 2. She is currently medicated and going to therapy. But she often has huge meltdowns whenever any minor inconvenience goes on in her life. Her meltdowns often consist of full mental break downs with crying, screaming and pure rage.
Yesterday afternoon she called me in the middle of one of her episodes. She had gotten a flat tire on the interstate and was crying and screaming because she was frustrated that she wasn’t strong enough to change it. She begged me to come help her but I was I had an incredibly important call in 30 minutes and she was 30 minutes away.
I told her to call her BF and she said she didn’t want to bother him. Annoyed I told her she would have to figure it out and to not bother her step father like she usually does when I can’t help her. We ended up getting into a huge argument while she’s screaming and crying telling me I don’t care about her. I just told her that she’s too overly dependent on her step father and I and she needs to learn to handle her own issues for once in her life! She finally just hung up on me.
15 minutes later my husband calls me and asks why I wouldn’t go help our daughter. I tell him I’m busy. He then asks why I would tell her not to call him and I said because she always stresses him out and she needs to be a grown up and stop expecting us to fix everything.
He proceeded to get very mad at me as well and told me I have no empathy for her sometimes. I just told him that if he wants to continue to enable her bad behavior that’s up to him.
They are both now ignoring me. AITA?
For some context my stepfather treated me 2nd rate. He's very sexist and since I was the only girl I was treated the worst. My brother and his son got a great life, were taught how to drive, expected to go to school etc. Me? I was expected to clean and cook. He sold the only car he said I could drive as soon as I started drivers ed, and kicked me out of the house when I announced that I was going to be going to university but expected me to give him full control of my finances. Then when I got engaged he expected to plan the entire wedding and then told me he wasn't going to help pay for it at all after we (me and fiance) booked our own venue. I told him and my mom that he wasn't walking me down the aisle and they threw a fit. My mom tried to say "but it's a tradition" I told her we weren't doing a traditional wedding anyway. Now she's saying that I'm stuck up and he's only tried to help me and Yada Yada Yada. And that if I don't care about tradition I should let him anyway just to appease them. AITA here for not wanting him to walk me down the aisle and not appeasing him?
Thank you all, I feel so validated right now and I appreciate it so much
Editing to answer a couple questions. Yes I did invite both mom and step dad to the wedding. My mom and I has an amazing relationship before him and I'm honestly having such a hard time accepting that that's gone. I invited her, and begrudgingly him, as an attempt to repair the relationship but I'm seeing lately that I can't do any more to fix it if she's not willing to.
My brother's are incredibly supportive even my step bro who's also recently called his dad out on his crap but my mother has spent that into a "I'm Turning them against her" story. I will be uninviting them from the wedding. And making major move a month after the wedding to a different part of the country. Thank you all so much
Yesterday he was really bad on my mom all day long, it got worse and worse and in the evening he started to hit her. I finally found the courage to call 911. He was still going crazy when they arrived so he was arrested.
I know he will probably come back home today. My mom is blaming herself instead to see the truth so I don't expect her to leave but now I won't let him be abusive towards her or me without consequences. I know he must be furious at me and will probably make me pay for what I did but I'm going to fight back.
Throw away account.
Let me give a little background story. My(15F) father passed away when I was 7, he wasn't a great father or a great husband. He was alcohol*c and slept around. And there were many other problems that's a different story.
So my mother met my current step-father a few years later and after dating for quite a while they got married 3 years ago. So since I was 9 he's the one who became the father that I honestly never had.
We are okay with eachother. And he's literally a great person. He's fun, considerate and nice.
Now the problem is I've seen my own father being a huge AH for almost all of my life, I've seen his mistr*sses, I've seen him fighting with my mother and many other things that I would like to not remember.
I've been calling him "dad" for 7 years of my life so now whenever my mom asks me to call my step-father "dad" I get those flashbacks and if I were to be completely honest after seeing my biological father the word "dad" disgusts me. It really disgusts me. I've tried to call my step-father "dad" for the past 2 years but I think he too understands I am very uncomfortable.
A few days ago I tried to talk to my mom, I told her everything I am telling here and she told me "You are just making excuses that's not a reason for not calling him dad"
I've tried to talk to her but she just doesn't understand and thinks that I don't want her to be happy. And she told me even if I am uncomfortable I should calling him "dad" cause it makes him happy. When I tried to reason with her she called me an AH for not understanding her.
So now I am feeling like it's really my fault. Maybe I should make myself comfortable with the term. I rely don't want to be an inconvenience to their relationship because my mother is finally happy and I don't want to ruin it because of my own problems.
EDIT: So everyone asking me to call him something other than "dad" the problem is in Asia (I am Asian) people doesn't actually call their fathers or step father's something other than "dad" . It's not actually a thing. Atleast in my culture it isn't. Like it really isn't. So I've being trying to call him "uncle" like I used to. But my mother said it feels too distant.
And about talking to my step father he does seem to know the problem and I can talk to him but I am afraid my mother won't like that. She specifically told me "Get a hold of yourself and don't bring him in this" and I don't wanna be an inconvenience to their relationship.
That was the last time I talked to him, he died a few days later. He left my Mom when I was 4 years old and and put her and my older siblings through hell. My 3 kids and my wife thankfully never knew him.
I'm a 19 years old who lives part-time at my mother's house, with her, her boyfriend and my 7 years old brother.
My brother is a nice kid most of the time, but can act very spoiled sometimes, especially during meals. He doesn't want to eat, refuses to say "please"… that kind of things.Every time (or almost every time) he is acting a little too entitled, my step-father says that "he wasn't like this until (insert the time by which I came back home)", which is always making me furious, like, you seriously think that I'm the reason why your kid is entitled ?
He started to spend more time with me since a year, and my step-father remarks have increased. As a matter of facts, I'm not trying to make the kid spoiled, I'm just trying to show him things I like that are age-appropriate and fixing his behavior by trying to reason with him.
Today, at the lunch table, my brother refused to say "please" and started to throw a little tantrum. My mother and my step-father were having non of it, and neither was I, even though I didn't say a thing.
Until my step-father said : "You weren't acting like that until 2 days ago !!"
I came back 2 days ago. It made me instantly furious, I excused myself from the lunch table and came back to my room with a few sentences that explained my point on my way out. My mom came to talk to me a few minutes later and told me to stop acting so sensitive about that, and that nothing was directed against me. I didn't answer, but I'm starting to think that I may have overreacted, and I'm thinking of apologizing.
So, AITA ?
Edit : Thank you a lot for taking the time to answer, seems like I'm not the asshole in this situation. There's something I'd like to clarify : my brother is always acting entitled at meals, even when I'm not here. But your comments are making me understand him a lot better, and I would like to thank you for that too. 😊
Edit 2 : It seems like more infos about are needed : when I'm at home with him, my mother and step-father barely speak to me, the only one who always get my full attention is my brother. We don't hang out all day together, since I like to spend time alone, but otherwise, he likes to stay with me and doing things with me. Also, some of you pointed out that my step-father may not wanted to accuse me, and that might be the case. However, my mother and I had a discussion about his comments a while ago, during which she said that yes, when he said that kind of things, it's directed against me, which led me to... keep reading on reddit ➡
So- ( This all takes place in Georgia, USA) my mothers husband passed away in December. He has no children that he knew of. Well, my moms lawyer received an email from a woman claiming to be his daughter and wants some of his estate. Step father used to date this woman’s mother, and she has multiple baby daddies. My mom thinks they are going to try and prove this girl is his daughter through DNA- except step father has been cremated and there’s just no other way to get his DNA.She thinks they might use his brothers DNA. My question is- can this woman somehow prove she is the biological daughter through my step fathers brother and claim some of his estate?
I ask because my 2nd kid is 3 months old. My wife is doing an amazing job but needs to vent, which I'm there for.
But it takes a toll mentally, you can talk about it but that can heap more pressure on mum which in my eyes isn't fair.
Add to that trying to balance work, family, money etc and it takes a toll.
How did you cope? First time round I basixally just sucked it up knowing it would get better but that won't work this time.
On a side note I really don't feel like people recognize this side of the coin for men.
I know this question annoys you guys so much! But I hope some of you still answer..
MIL has been harassing my partner and trying to get ahold of him since my last post. She's tries calling him multiple times, and is texting some really nasty things.
She's now continuously on the "everybody in the family will hate you" train and telling him about how "disappointed/hurt" she is in him while also trying to use my partner's dead father for leverage by talking about his shortcomings. SO has ignored it all, and he's unfriended her on social media so he doesn't have to see her posts. He still hasn't blocked her phone number, but that's pretty much guaranteed to happen soon.
Partner's step father wants to hear about why he's choosing not to talk to/associate with MIL any longer, and even though step father and MIL divorced years ago, it seems like he still wants to defend his ex wife lmao.
His step father is marrying another woman, SO is almost 30, and even though they've talked on the phone about this same topic multiple times, wants to talk to him in depth/in person about it.
I'm going to be there, will tell you all how it goes.
Still just as my very first post I have read many of the posts here and I have passed judgment and now I am asking for people to pass judgment on me. About a month ago my step father passed away, he was a wonderful loving man and it is still very very hard grieving process because he raised me since I was a 6 year old little girl.
To give you a little backstory my step father met my mother when we moved up from Texas. They met and fell in love we moved in with him and his grandmother. He was one of the best men that I could have known I'll even typing this out it's very hard. He was so respectful to my biological father and made it clear because we had one and he was involved we were not to call him dad. We would call him by his first name. That is what my brother and I called him and when we spoke of him he was always step dad or stepfather. And this man also stuck by my mother, my brother, and myself when it came out that a cousin of his did heretic abuse show me when I was 11 and 12 and not the physical kind. He stuck by us and was disowned by his family. So now that you know a little bit of the backstory and the relationship I had with my stepfather I am wanting to know if I did something wrong by posting something on a memorial page for him by his father's side of the family. I have not known that they were not notified of his passing and I feel awful about it. They found out two weeks after he had passed and decided to hold a memorial in his honor. Because I was friends with his niece on Facebook it came up on my feed and I commented and I said I'm sorry but at least he's not suffering now. Because this man suffered and fought skin cancer and multiple other cancers for the last three years of his life and had multiple treatments I felt that it was a blessing that he was not suffering anymore. I apologize for them not knowing and then afterwards his sister and other family members started coming at me and calling me names and saying horrible things about his widow who happened not to be my mother. I only know his wife as a wonderful loving person who took him to his treatments and doctors appointments, not the person that they are saying that she is. I did not expect that kind of hate and verbal abuse to come my way. I apologized and said I'm sorry you didn't know. They then said his father should have known; but the last I knew he was not on speaking terms with his father because he had a very difficult relationship with his father.
So Am I The A... keep reading on reddit ➡
TL;dr Fathers are treated as an afterthought. We shower mothers with love, affection, validation etc. when it would likely be helpful to make more of an effort to include fathers in that sort of treatment as well, without taking away from the mothers. I don't see why father's can't be hyped up as much as mom's to get them more excited or relaxed about becoming a father. All of these norms we've developed almost suggest to men that they are emasculated in some way if they take part in all of these processes, which can lead to them feeling uninvited and unimportant.
Let's be clear--women who have children make so many sacrifices. Those sacrifices, struggles, and complications are all valid. I am not taking away from what women go through growing and raising a child whatsoever.
----I attended every single appointment with both expectant mothers, to listen to the heartbeat, see the ultrasounds, check on the mother's vitals, etc. I wish the nurses and doctors involved would make more of an effort to include the father by suggesting things they can do to help instead of the typical "enjoy your sleep while you can" tip that you've heard a million times already. Minor gripe, but there's more.
----Baby showers. Again, preface this with the fact that mothers are the ones growing the babies, dealing with their own rapid changes that are changing their whole world. I don't want to take ANYTHING away from moms. However, the majority of baby showers seem to involve mostly female attendees. The expectant father just kind of sits there and smiles while the mother opens all of the gifts. I think the expectant father should be showered with just as much love, affection, and excitement as the expectant mothers. They are an equal parent and should be treated so.
----At birth, the man is in the way at the hospital. 100%. I do understand hospitals are there to treat the mother as a patient. The father is not undergoing any sort of procedure. But they are an equal parent and should be treated so. The man is given a chair (or a cot if you're lucky!) to spend the night on, while being expected to cater to a newborn baby throughout the next several days and nights. I do understand the main focus is on the mother, attempting to breastfeed, making sure her vitals are where they should be, recovering from childbirth, the whole nine yards. But, making simple amenities available to the father would not be the most taxing request. It is likely many hospitals aren't equipped to be... keep reading on reddit ➡
This is my alternate, kinda secret account, for obvious reasons.
My step-father is the kind of guy who is a bigot, but has no idea. He thinks slurs are no big deal & off color jokes are fine as long as they’re funny.
He’s always been very nice & friendly to my partner, but she wasn’t with me when I went over on Mother’s Day to visit my mom. I mentioned that we’ve pretty much settled on a wedding date & location. I told my mom that I’m planning to wear a dress but that my partner won’t be because my mom has asked what we’re wearing couple times. I’m not really a fem, per se, but I do enjoy a good dress. My partner is more masculine presenting & says she looks like she’s in drag in a dress. My step-dad asked what she’ll wear then & I said probably a suit or like a dress shirt & pants. He starts to laugh & says she’s going to look like a heavy set Ellen Degeneres. I took that as a good time to leave.
Yes, she’s a little heavy & is really sensitive about her covid weight. I love her body. Like, a lot. She also bears no resemblance to Ellen. He just thought it would be hilarious to compare her to the only masculine presenting lesbian he knows & to crack a joke on her size.
On the way home, it really hit me & I looked at my daughter (19) in shock and said, “grandpa just called my fiancé a fat Ellen Degeneres.” She says, “yeah, he’s a ignorant dick like that.”
I will NEVER tell her about this exchange & I’m not really surprised by it, but I am really disappointed.
Last year, my father blocked me on all social media shortly after my sister told him to go fuck himself for commenting "all lives matter" on one of her posts. They've never had a great relationship. This is June 3rd, shortly after the murder of George Floyd.
He and I have not talked since fathers day, when in response to my happy fathers day text, he sent "thanks kid! Feel free to stop over for some hot dogs and a swim in the pool. Just no politics."
He has a confederate flag in his garage, a thin blue line flag hanging from his garage, and all kinds of Trump merch.
So, I did not reply to his text, and we have not spoken since. I am not a hard left Democrat by any means, but I have never support Trump. So its safe to say we don't see eye to eye politically.
3 months later - late September
I got engaged!!!! Yayyyy!!!!
We just booked a venue and have started brainstorming all the fun wedding things.
While looking at the venue, my fiance asked me, "are you going to invite your dad to the wedding?"
And honestly, I'm not super interested in having him there. He's always been a drunk. And he has always embarrassed me at large functions.
My stepmother, however, played a huge role in my life growing up. She was always a great support system to me, especially when it came to managing my father's abuse.
It would be lovely to have her there, but she is also in an abusive relationship with my dad.
I have considered just inviting my stepmother, and not giving her a plus one, but then I worry about my dad finding out, and something awful happening. If I give her a plus one, my dad will likely be there as her plus one.
I don't know what to do. Any help would be appreciated.
Tldr: my dad is a pos and I ďont want him at my wedding, but I want my stepmother there.
They make me do everything and threaten me when I day something I don't agree with. They don't watch their young siblings, don't clean, do laundry, cook, or pick up after anybody. They hate me and think they can just pick on me because they can. I'm at my limit and want to take legal action to get them out of my life forever. 16 years straight with that fat bastard is long enough. My mother doesn't agree but she hated him too. No one really likes the two either. Please give me advice.
They were down in florida living in a camper in a campground my step father had a quick battle with ALS and he passed away suddenly. I flew down and drove her back up to vermont, she couldn't fly because she has no in date ID. My step father has family down south who can take care of the hospital and stuff but we have to deal with finances. Tomorrow I am going with my mother to the bank and have no clue what to ask for or what to do. They left a camper which is still on payments with their bank and a truck which still has a loan as well, I'm unsure about where that loan is. They do not have money to pay off or even pay the monthly loan for these now that they don't have his SSI benefits. We have no passwords for computers. Or any passcodes for their phone bill or anything. My mother doesn't have anything to do with their finances except she is on their bank account. Any tips on what I should ask for and do at the bank would be greatly appreciated!
I’ve been finding this sub very helpful as I try to better understand the context, background and mechanics behind my step-son’s (M16) ADHD behaviour and challenges.
His condition is recently diagnosed (1 yr ago), and while he is processing the condition, I’m also still trying to understand and empathize with it. He brilliantly smart but incapable of the smallest things and at his age, the future as a adult in the “real-word” is a massive concern.
I’d really love to know what most ppl here found helpful as resources to manage their condition, but also what they might recommend as a resource for parents to help.
This isn’t something that happened in my irl. It’s mostly asking how the interactions would be for this:
So in my story I’m writing the mc is a child of infidelity. The mother of the child is very powerful due to this her husband can’t leave. They already have a child together (my other mc) The father is kinda forced to take care of the child of infidelity, he treats him coldly. Not with cruelty per say (the child is still given a room, food, and clothing) but there’s an obvious difference with the father taking care of his own son with kindness and care while basically ignores and is cold with the child of infidelity. Throughout the story we see how this affected the child of infidelity negatively. However we also see the husbands pov with him being forced into a marriage he didn’t want and forced to take care of a child that’s wasn’t his. I feel like people could see both sides (that doesn’t justify the fathers actions as he did have hatred for the child’s parents and took some of it out on him but more of an understanding)
Later on they meet after a long period of time (plot stuff) and I’m unsure how to exactly write their interactions after this? The husband does get a redemption arc but I’m unsure what would be the status of the husband and the child of infidelity’s relationship after that. The husband has something traumatic happen to him which the child relates to and they form a bit of a bond but the thing I’m unsure about is their reactions and interactions when seeing each other again for the first time specifically. (If there is anything that seems offensive then please tell me)
Amphitryon raised Zeus's son (Heracles) after Zeus raped his wife.
Polydectes raised Perseus after Danae was golden showered by Zeus. There are many more stories of heroes that grew up raised by a step-father.
What was the opinion on these men? Were they shamed as cucks or praised as men doing the right thing? Is there any opinion on the men who raised their wives 's kids that were parented by gods?