My response was “If he wants kids and I don’t we are clearly not soulmates.”
Why is this a hard concept?
I wanted to post an update to my story in the hope it'll help even 1 person get out of their sexless relationship.
I posted here 2 months back after having split with my fiancé of 6 years.
We had a DB for just over half a year, doesn't sound like a lot but we were in our mid 20s and my libido was very high. The lack of intimacy and sex completely killed my confidence in both my looks and my personality. I thought I was undesirable both physically, emotionally and in personality because the person I loved most didn't even want to touch me. It killed my self esteem and made me a shell of the hilarious, outgoing, and attractive person I used to think I was.
So I left. Simple as that. I left because I wanted sex. I wanted someone who was attracted to me and would tell me how funny/good looking/nice to be around I was, and I wanted someone who would appreciate all my efforts to make them feel good too. And now I have exactly that :)
After we broke up I got on dating apps and without saying too much just had as much sex as possible. Meeting beautiful, emotionally available women made me feel alive again. These relationships were casual but the sex was incredibly meaningful to me and I always made that clear.
It gave me my confidence back :)
I feel better today than I've felt in the past 10 years. I'm in a new relationship with an amazing girl who GETS ME, and for the first time in nearly a decade I'm excited for the future rather than dreading the thought of having to force intimacy on a dead relationship.
Sometimes loving someone just isn't enough, please, get out while you're young and have your life ahead of you. Respect yourself, respect your needs, and understand you all deserve so much better than what you're getting. Don't be scared of regretting it, because you never ever will.
Good luck to all of you :-)
I've been with DH for 15 years and I pretty much know how to handle MIL, but I think I'm finally beginning to understand her reasoning for the way she is and wow.
First off MIL really wanted a girl, but had such extreme postpartum depression that FIL said no more kids. MIL wasn't a terrible mom but she was always distant and somewhat awkward with DH. She made comments when he was growing up about she couldn't love him too much because he was just going to leave, or she didn't find motherhood very fulfilling because the relationship was so "unequal"
There was a death in the family and MIL adopted the baby girl, and was the opposite with her. When DH began dating me, MIL pulled away a lot. She said I made her uncomfortable and she didn't want to be around me. She spent Christmas with friends one year instead of her own husband and kids because she was "uncomfortable"
When we got married, MIL talked FIL out of giving us a generous gift because we didn't include her in wedding planning. She skipped my baby shower and just sent a text about how she knew I didn't want her there. For the longest time I thought she was just self absorbed or socially awkward, but SIL got married five months ago and is now pregnant (and naming the baby after MIL) and MIL kept nagging her to include the MIL, make sure she asks for her opinion, you better invite her dress shopping. SIL asked why, and MIL said, right in front of me, that having a DIL is so hard, and SIL better make it easier on that "poor woman"
MIL then announced that she never wanted a boy, because she knew she would have a DIL someday, and she had to "protect herself" from all of the hurt and exclusion, so I guess I got a little insight into her fucked up logic.
I really can't think of anything I should be looking forward to or off any reasons to live. Like I can't even begin to imagine what its like to be loved, have friends, be desired or be happy. Happiest day will probably be when I finally off myself. Can't wait tbh