Sofa

So I know it sounds bad but hear me out. I found a used sofa listed online, and I asked the owner if I could come by and check it out. She agreed; she was keeping it in her garage. When I arrived I asked if it was okay if I felt it and generally "checked it out", and she said fine. I looked to see if if the cushions were detachable, looked for stains, that sort of thing. Then I sat on it, and the whole thing collapsed. It seems one of the legs was loose or already broken, or maybe the ground was really uneven in the garage. I don't know. (If it matters, I'm only 130lbs.)

I said I was sorry, I felt bad about it and embarrassed. She said I would have to buy it now. I was taken aback and replied that all I had done was sit on the couch - if it collapsed obviously there was something wrong with it before I arrived. She said there was nothing wrong with it before I sat down and that she "didn't give me permission to sit on it" and now she couldn't sell to anyone else so I would have to ta

I just don’t remember taking so many pictures of myself outside.

My wife is 7 months and yesterday we had a fight(what about isn’t the point but because people will ask she sold my ps4 without asking me). She then tells me to sleep on the sofa when she goes to bed. I’ve had a bad back since a car accident in my late teens and the sofa makes it 10x worse(for the record I got hit by a drunk driver, wasn’t my fault).

I said no, and if she had a problem she could sleep on the sofa. She said she can’t because she’s pregnant. I said too bad then and got into bed and tried to sleep. She then started yelling at me that it’s unfair to force her to sleep with me when she has no where else to go. Neither of us slept at all last night.

AITA?

Hooker: “You’re a man of class :)”

Man: “Class my ass, I want it five times on grass”

My husband recently lost his job, I’ve picked up more hours and am exhausted.

I’m meant to work from 6;30am - 4;40pm, I get up at 5;10am and the hour I’m back home depends on how long it took me to travel that day and how far away from home I am, for the past week I’ve been home at a reasonable time.

When I get home I cook dinner, do the washing up, wash and iron clothes, put the clothes away and after all that all I want to do is sleep.

I’ve asked my husband time after time to put the children’s toys away, not let them take certain toys outside, some toys aren’t even meant to leave their rooms, not letting them bring all their blankets downstairs.

I once asked him to clean the house and I came home to find all the dirt he swept up in the corner of the room.

So I think what I ask of him is pretty easy? I came home and slipped on a toy car, one of the electric ones that I told him should stay in their room since it scares the kitten.

As an apology he cooked dinner and he’s pr

My wife and I have 5 kids, and 14 grandchildren. We are used to lots of noise, rubble and trouble and we are a close family.

All our kids live very close by and we love having the children over, more or less every single day of the week there’s the kids over, and that’s how we both like it.

My wife encourages it as we have 5 daughters and obviously she wants her girls close, so it’s a madhouse.

She recently wanted to get rid of our sofas and get new ones because her friends have the same one.

I was against it because we had lovely expensive California leather sofas that were in the lounge, but she overrode me and decided to get light cream cloth ones.

I had some reservations and told her we have young kids running around all the time, we have 2 newborns in the family and the rest are 3-16 so very much in the messy phase of their lives.

She said she’d deal with it as and when problems arose and the new sofas arrived just after Xmas.

Since then I’ve taken extreme care to cl

You guys better sit down for this one...

I've got all variants of the:

• box sofas
• box corner sofas
• cute sofas
• diner sofas
• double sofas
• inflatable sofas

lying on the beach ready for cataloging!

Just comment below with your favourite bad joke/pun and I'll send you a code :)

EDIT: thank you for these incredible jokes

EDIT 2: Just got a communication error, if you were on the island could you DM me!

My under the Sofa server have got a little upgrade.
It was before a IBM x3650 M3 with following specs:

CPU: 2x Xeon 5680
RAM: 200GB
HDD: 7TB
SSD: 3TB

x3650 M3

Now it have been upgraded to a HP Proliant Dl380p Gen8 with the same amount of RAM
But newer CPU: Xeon E5-2667v2,
Now 4x 1TB HDD in RAID5, giving me 3TB of space
4x 1TB SSD in Raid5 also giving me 3TB of space ;)

HP Dl380p Gen8

(My HDD's are marked as red due to they are building the raid5 array)

Its a nice and silent machine (and more power efficient)