It’s still in my post history because I am permanently keeping it as a reminder that I’m a fucking idiot whenever my ego gets out of check.
Okay so this morning I posted on Reddit a conversation me and my friends had in which we all unanimously agreed that drinking a gallon of milk in under an hour is 100% possible and is an incredibly easy challenge. My reasoning was that an entire hour is a lot of time, and that if you just slowly and steadily drink the milk while portioning yourself there’s no reason why anybody can’t do it. One of the lesser challenges was doing a half gallon in an hour and I can say from a certain experience with hot sauce a while ago that I was 100% capable of achieving that so I was absolutely confident I could do two.
I posted it to Reddit, feeling pretty high and mighty of myself on the “unpopular opinions” board and was immediately provided with multiple comments informing me that I was an idiot and had no idea what I was talking about. These comments from inferior humans asked me to record my endeavors and I was without a doubt ready and willing to prove them wrong. So I went to my local 7/11, bought a gallon of 2% and got back to my dorm.
I will give myself credit through my naive ego, I did prepare for the worst a little bit, I sat with a towel bib in case of dribblage and pre-opened one of the shower stalls because the toilets would not account the possible gallons worth milk that could occur from the bovi-licious odyssey I was about to traverse upon. So I turned on my video camera and filled up 5 approximately 25 ounces cups of milk.
Looking at these completely full cups infront of me, the milk carton definitely tricks you with its sheer volume and I was realizing the challenge ahead of me, but mama didn’t raise no bitch so I went in.
First cup: Totally easy, I love milk, my father, brother and I will go through a gallon within 2-3 days tops, and all I have to do is do this every 12 minutes and I’m home free and all those losers on Reddit will know how cool I am.
Second cup: I down this one too, easy peasy, though the first signal to my brain that I was very much so satiated with my daily value of calcium was already upon us. Though this was a challenge even the greatest often failed at, I wasn’t going to underestimate this challenge, but rather like a matador I will corral this bull with steadiness and finesse.
Third cup: this one I was able to not consistently down, I got about half way through and I had to breat... keep reading on reddit ➡
I’m back, dipshits.
The amount of whining I’ve heard in the last 24 hours is fucking pathetic, and you should all be ashamed of yourselves and the failures you’ve become. Listening to y’all is worse than the most unenthusiastic, driest, toothiest, herpes-infestedest blowjob on the fucking planet.
Judging by your responses to my last post, most of you are incapable or unwilling to read some simple fucking sentences telling you to go eat dogshit, so I’m going to try out of the goodness of my benevolent heart to bestow wisdom on you grabasstic fuckclowns one more time.
No, we did not squeeze yesterday and we did not squeeze today. As I said previously, THAT’S FUCKING OKAY. It’s ok for me personally because I didn’t invest more than I could afford to lose unlike some of you useless bottomfeeders. It’s also ok for me personally because, while the theory about the call options did not come true, that was just one of a ton of elevating factors that I’m using to determine whether a squeeze can rip the microtesticles off of the hedge funds.
Now before I continue I want to make something crystal clear to you, twinkletits. I am not and nor have I advised that any of you should buy, that any of you should hold, or that any of you should pussy out and panic sell like the drooling bitches I know you are. That would be financial advice, and even though I struggle to stuff my massive dick into my pants every morning, I’m not a financial advisor. Financial advisors cost a shitload of money per hour, more than you or your wife’s six boyfriends can afford, the dirty little minx. You think one of them would come onto the internet and share their profession for fucking free? Do you also think that plants grow upward because they are seeking the motherfucking word of God?
Here’s your first bit of knowledge: anyone offering you free financial advice and telling you to buy probably already has a sizeable long position, and stands to benefit materially from your dumb asses piling into their pump-and-dump. Anyone telling you to sell probably has a sizeable short position, and stands to rake your moronic asses over the fire because you can’t be bothered to look shit up for yourself. They’re like gas station sushi or your mom telling me I don’t need to use a condom with her cuz she’s clean – I don’t trust that s... keep reading on reddit ➡
I am a worthless good for nothing american, I should be put to death like the disgusting rabid animal I am, I am now going to kill myself for you superior europeans. pardon my imperfect english, i am an unintelligent american, and our education system is terrible and we are all so stupid.
edit:sorry for wasting your oxygen by being a disgusting fat greasy stupid rabid degenerate american
Is it just production chain hurdle or all of us?