Responsibility

My MIL has lived with my wife and I for the last 6-months or so. She moved in with us at my wife's request because she was living by herself 6-hours away after a divorce. It wasn't much of a conversation when my wife approached me about MIL moving in. It wasn't like my wife demanded it either, but she said it would mean a lot to both of them if we made this happen and even though I had my reservations, I agreed to it.

MIL is in her early 60s but isn't in the best health. She's overweight, diabetic, anemic, pretty much a walking Covid underlying issue. For years, I have been the main cook in our household, I really enjoy cooking. When MIL moved in, she refused to eat a lot of what I cooked. I cook a lot of quite healthy meals, but pretty much everything MIL tried, she hated. She refuses to eat any green vegetables, refuses to eat anything that has even a tiny amount of spice to it, and refuses to try any food that she hasn't tried before if she thinks it looks or smells "icky." (Don't even need to go down the road of a 60-something woman calling food "icky," but whatever)

My wife and I have a rule with our kids that if you don't want to eat what is served, you have to fend for yourself. I told the same thing to MIL when she refused to eat what I made, but she complained to my wife and they both think I was an asshole for not catering to MIL's dietary needs. Now, a lot of what I cook is very healthy, even for a diabetic. But MIL refuses to eat it not because it's not good for her, but because she doesn't like it. If I thought I was making unhealthy food, I wouldn't serve it to my kids.

The other day, MIL came up to me with a list of meals and a grocery list. I asked her what this was and she said that she meal planned. I looked at the list and told her that I had already planned meals for the week, but we could do these later. She tried to tell me that she couldn't keep eating the things I was making because it was making her diabetes worse and that I was a jerk for not taking her health seriously. So I told her fine, if you want to eat those meals this week, you're going to have to be the one to cook them because it is not my responsibility to manage your health.

She got mad because she's not used to having people stand up to her. She tried to get my wife to take her side and my wife actually said I should just cook what MIL wants this week and we can go from there. I told her that I am actually going to take a week off from cooking and someone else ca

I (21M) recently moved out of my dads (56M) house. A little backstory, My dad got married to a woman (35F) who has a six year old daughter. I don't like kids for the most part. And things have been hectic ever since I moved out. About a week ago, my dad and his new wife wanted to go on a date night and asked me to watch the stepdaughter. I declined, as I had plans of my own, as well as various tasks around the house and at work to get done. Needless to say, that night I had a full plate. However, this escalated into an argument between me and my dad and "stepmom". I explained to my dad, that since you decided to marry a woman with kids thats your responsibility to them not mine, since I didn't marry her. Let I mind you all, that I don't have anything against the daughter as I've watched her on a couple occasions. But at the end of the day, I don't think its my job to play babysitter since I don't even live with my dad anymore.

So, AITA? If I am, feel free to flame as much as you want Ive got thick skin.

As stated in the title, how have Americans' conceptions of personal responsibility changed over the course of the modern era and how have we seen this reflected in policy and party platforms?

To what extent does each party believe that people should "pull themselves up by their bootstraps"? To the extent that one or both parties are not committed to this idea, what policy changes would we expect to flow from this in the context of economics? Criminal justice?

Looking ahead, should we expect to see a move towards a perspective of individual responsibility, away from it, or neither, in the context of politics?

Here’s the article: https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-12-11/cd-projekt-changes-developer-bonus-structure-after-buggy-release

Here’s the Tweet: https://twitter.com/jasonschreier/status/1337555816417800194

Edit: Head of CDPR: Adam Badowski can be reached on Twitter @AdamBadowski - be civil, don’t witch hunt or make threats, but share your grievances there. Let him know that this is unacceptable.

There's a lot of misinformation and lack of knowledge about who is responsible for damage to a condo unit, especially regarding leaks/floods. This is important information that may influence your decision when purchasing.

If your unit is damaged by another unit, you/your insurance is responsible for repairing your unit. If you file a claim through your insurance, your rates will increase and you will have to pay a deductible (usually $1000).

For example, if your neighbour's pipe bursts and damages your ceiling/walls, YOU are the one who has to pay for the repairs. Your neighbour is not required to pay for repair or reimburse you for your insurance deductible. No, you cannot sue them for your insurance deductible - this has been tried and rejected many, many times by the CRT.

The only way you can hold your neighbour accountable is if you prove negligence. If the damage is caused by an accident, then you are on the hook for repairing your own unit - even though you weren't the one to damage it.

Keep this in mind, especially for multi-floor condos. Buy top floor, corner unit if you can.

Source: https://www.canadianunderwriter.ca/insurance/condo-flooding-liability-101-1004162150/

*Note: Some stratas have bylaws that make the unit who caused the damage have to pay for ALL repairs, but these stratas are few and far between.

ETA: an example to clarify.

Let's say you notice a large water stain on your ceiling. You go to notify the upstairs neighbour who says they'll take care of it. You then call your strata and tell them about it. Your strata may send a plumber/inspector upstairs to determine the location of the leak (not the cause). In most cases, strata will come and complete the emergency repairs. So they will rip out the stained drywall and insulation and patch it up. You are left with raw drywall and patching all over your ceiling.

Option One: If you choose to go through insurance, then you pay your deductible (often $1000K) and suffer through years of increased rates due to filing a claim. It doesn't matter that your neighbour caused it, you still have to suffer the consequences.

Option Two: If you try to recover the costs through suing, you have to file a dispute with the CRT and prove that your neighbour's leak was caused by negligence. If you're lucky and your strata sent a plumber/investigator upstairs, oftentimes you just have the location of the leak, not the full on cause. They may say the leak came from a supply line to the

> Paul George said Clippers didn't celebrate Christmas with families until yesterday after playing in Denver. "I take full responsibility... Tough situation being on road on Christmas... I hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas yesterday and that was the reason for a sluggish day."

https://twitter.com/notoriousohm/status/1343332632818405377?s=21

Did Santa Clause set the clippers up for failure? Or is Jesus to blame? 🤔

Sidenote: Mavs were also on the road for Christmas

Does your potato chip company also sponsor KKK events and help serial killers get out of jail? You suck. But it's not my problem. I just buy the chips because I like them. I'm not supporting your KKK events, I'm supporting my chip eating habit.

Or another way, if I was working on building my own private nuke from money I made selling chips, do I get to wriggle out of blame by saying it's your fault for buying my chips?

I (29f) have a sister (27f). We have never been close. I found her annoying as a kid. She found me really unfair when I wouldn't give her money and stuff when I started working, or when I wouldn't share every single thing I had with her. I remember when a friend gave me one of the Simpsons PS2 games as a birthday gift and I was made share with her and she broke it. So I wouldn't let her play with my console or games again. She got really mad and I told her to suck it up and buy her own stuff since she couldn't be trusted (it was the third time she broke one of my games). Things got really bad between us after that. She said I was never a good sister. I told her she was always annoying. After I moved out we had a slightly better relationship and I learned to kind of ignore her more annoying qualities.

She got kicked out of college when she was 18 and wanted to live with me vs going back to our parents and our relationship took another kick because I was not okay with her living with me. I always felt like we were better apart. And I thought she needed to learn the hard way about responsibility. Our parents agreed. And she got back on her feet. Then she got with a jerk and didn't like that I wasn't more supportive of her. I was annoyed at the time because she knew he was a jerk before she started dating him and she still agreed to go out with him.

Then she met her ex/baby daddy and everyone knew he was bad news. She even admitted she had doubts about him and then she went on to have three kids with him while knowing he was a deadbeat to 7 other kids he has. Now he has left her broke and she's struggling and she asked to move in again. This was after she told me to be a better sister I needed to not talk to my colleague Jessica (fake name) because Jessica is the mother to one of the baby daddy's other kids. I told her I wasn't going to make my work life more difficult because of her choices. She said I was picking a colleague over her.

And now she wants me to help her out by giving her and the kids a roof over their heads and financial help until she can get back on her feet. I told her it was not my responsibility to help her when she was the one who effed up by knowingly staying with someone who walks out on his kids. I told her she needs to learn how to take responsibility for her actions.

She's pissed at me. She told me I was an asshole for kicking her when she's down and being a bad sister.

AITA?

I’m not sure who needs to hear this, but as always I’m writing this message as a reminder to myself who often needs to hear it and thought I’d share just in case someone else may benefit from hearing it: you can take responsibility for your past actions without beating yourself up for what you didn’t know better at the time.

My new practice is one of self-compassion and forgiveness. I’ve been too hard on myself for way too long, over analyzing what I’ve done wrong in the past and thinking I somehow am going to pay for it or will need to suffer because I’m a bad person who did a bad thing.

The truth is that life is complicated, the way our brain develops is complex, and we learn a lot of unhealthy and toxic ways of coping with certain circumstances. We mirror the toxic habits of our parents, peers, teachers, society, or we respond to them in our own ways based on our own perceptions.

You are not to blame for what you’ve learned or how you’ve developed a way to cope. But using that as an excuse is also a way to cop out of your own responsibility and in turn, any power you have in the present moment.

I can’t control what I did in the past. You can’t control what you did either. Why spend all this time beating yourself up over what you said 5 years ago or that person who got mad at you. It’s important to remember that we are also not the only person in our interactions, and people can get mad or blame us for things that are not our burdens to carry but we assume them anyway.

It’s time to be forgiving to the past you who didn’t know better and take power today by trying to do better. Even if you made a mistake 5 minutes ago, do you have any power over it now? No. You can apologize and work to learn from it.

Constantly beating yourself up does nothing but keep you in toxic cycles. You create shame around your imperfections and then you are triggered when called out for them or when acting on them. We’re human, we all make mistakes.

It’s time to stop making yourself a victim and sitting in pity and shame. I’ve started to talk to myself like I’m my best friend when I made a mistake saying, “it’s okay, you’ll get it next time!” Or “look how much you learned and now you won’t make that same exact mistake again, cool! Growth!”

Might sound crazy but it’s not as crazy as the incessant “look how much you suck because you made that mistake” or “you’re a bad person because you did that”.

It’s time to remember self-compassion and forgiveness are so impor