I was speaking to a friend yesterday and she was explaining she had to go for a breast exam due to finding a lump. She said everything was fine until she had to have an ultrasound just to check everything was ok. She was obviously upset and worried but while the sonographer was scanning her and moving her breasts he said 'haven't you got beautiful eyes' and started smirking at her. HOW THE FUCK IS THAT OK? My friend was upset and had a man she didn't know with his hands on her breasts sounding like he was trying to chat her up. She didn't feel like she could say anything at the time and said she doesn't want to complain about it, she just wants to forget about it and move on. I'm so angry that nothing will happen to this inappropriate man and that he will probably do it again to someone. Of course I'm in no way angry with my friend, I'm so pissed off she's gone through this.
Edit- thanks everyone for your comments. Firstly would like to point out I am in the UK so writing a review etc wouldn't make much difference. Secondly I understand everyone saying she should report it and I completely agree, I would report it if it happened to me but when we spoke she was very adamant she wanted to leave it and not take it any further. I'm not going to push her on it because it's not my decision to make but she knows I'm there for her no matter what.
Edit 2 - I did not expect this to blow up the way it did! Thank you for all the awards. I realise now the title wasn't worded well at all and all I meant was often women try not to think of it as a big deal, they brush it under the carpet because they don't want to be seen as making a fuss or they worry they won't be believed.
To the people who commented that they don't see a problem or they don't think shit like this happens just look at all the comments on this post that show it happens all the fucking time!
Also to add that I posted this just as a rant because I was angry for my friend not at her and I done it somewhere I thought people would understand (and 99% have.) To the other 1% no I've not lied, posted for attention and I'm not playing the victim on behalf of my friend.
I live in a quiet middle class area with polite, considerate people.
However, a family recently moved in and amongst them was Bob (fake name). Bob is in his late 40s to 50s. He stumbles up and down our street at night with a bottle in hand constantly drinking and muttering incoherently. He looks and smells like he hasn't bathed in days.
Bob has woken me up for a couple of days in a row now. He starts vomiting extremely loudly at 6 in the morning (you could literally hear him retching) and its a very unpleasant sound to wake up to.
Today, I couldn't take it anymore and yelled at him through my window - telling him to shut up, that he has issues, and that he needs to go to rehab. I told him he was being a disturbance to everyone and that he scared my younger sister when she was coming home the other night. About that - he didn't do anything towards her but he intentionally blocked her way a couple of times as she was trying to come home and started grinning at her. All while muttering incoherently under his breath. She was alone at the time (it was around 10pm) and she is aged 16 - she had to cross the street and then re-cross it to avoid him.
Shortly after, Bob's wife knocked and told me that I didn't need to take things so far. That what I did was uncalled for, that Bob had little to no control over his behaviour and was drinking to "escape his nightmares" and she now feels embarrassed as the rest of the neighbourhood could hear. I answered by saying "oh so you do know the entire neighbourhood can hear?" and told her if Bob can't keep quiet and keeps on disturbing other people I'll be alerting the authorities.
The male professor looked at him and said: “Yes, you are right, just like she was when she said that exact same thing five minutes ago.” The man then just shut up. It was glorious. That is still one of my most cherished memories a decade later.
Telling this because there are so many infuriating stories on this sub and I wanted to share one of the good ones.
I started a new job and I’ve already been labelled as the “quiet one” and since we’re currently doing training I get called on way more often than anybody else because the manager is trying to get me to come out of my shell. I’m not bothering anybody and I’m doing the job I should be, why do you have such a massive problem with me being quiet? They just talk and talk and talk some more without ever thinking to stop about what they’re saying.
I usually take a couple of months to get really comfortable around people and by that point I’m the complete opposite of quiet but now I don’t think I’ll ever be fully comfortable. There is nothing I hate more than hearing “Oh you’ve been quiet today, u/bladerunner3027”. I despise that phrase, because it means I’m about to be forced to talk. I would understand a little if it was already a few weeks or months into the job and I was still super quiet to the point where it affected my job, but it’s literally the second week and it’s just my nature to not be comfortable around new people within a week and a half.
I hate talking. If I could I would just listen and stare, but that's awkward as fuck... I'm just .. extremely boring. How can I learn to be a fun person? I spend too much time alone which makes me lonely and sad, but I hate going out because talking is so draining. I absolutely hate one-on-one conversations because then I have to "make an effort" if it makes sense. I'm not lazy, I just find it so hard to have a casual conversation.
I'm not shy - not at all. I'm a performer at school and everyone knows who I am, but not who I really am. This makes things even more awkward.
Example conversation: Person: I heard you tonight and you were so great! Me: Aww, thanks. I appreciate it. ...Silence
I'm not good at explaining but this is how I am. How can I improve? :( I can't even talk to my own outer family (like grandma, uncle, etc). I just wanna carry a conversation with my grandpa, dammit!
EDIT: You are all too wholesome!!! I'm reading every comment! Never knew so many could relate; I hope this post helped someone. :)
Today was just wild seeing the news unfold. It hit me that by not speaking up to my family and friends who have been swept up into the cultish QAnon bs (thanks to FB) for the last few years, has helped to normalize their behavior.
I’ve been living by the rule that I should take the higher road and not engage with the crazy. I can’t change their minds and everyone is entitled to their opinion, so what’s the point of trying? It probably doesn’t help that I’m pretty conflict avoidant and I had spent nearly a decade in a spiritual career where I abided by the other rule of “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” Well, I’m beginning to see I’ve been too quiet and too willing to brush off people’s crazy as something I can’t do anything about. I’ve been complacent and comfortable just avoiding it. And I suspect many other American folks watching the news today saw their own complacency mirrored back to them too.
So while browsing Facebook today, I saw my longtime, beloved friend post a picture of the crowds today (before they busted into the Capitol) saying it was a great day. In the thread, someone asked if she was condoning the rioting in the Capitol. She said no but she is with them on the voter fraud.
I felt that old familiar “just walk away and don’t say anything” feeling (because I’ve definitely had that with her before maaany times), but then the awareness of my new resolve to stop being complacent kicked in, and I mustered the courage to say something and sever the ties. It was really hard, but I’m proud of myself. I just simply said, “I’m afraid this is where our relationship parts ways if you truly believe this was a good day. You say in the thread you don’t condone the rioting of our nation’s Capitol, but you condone the values. They are one in the same, and that’s not the America I believe in. I respect you have a right to your opinion, but I can’t sit back and say nothing as you promote divisive and toxic beliefs, touting them as ‘a true patriot’. I wish you and you family good health and compassion. I’m unfriending you now.”
Even though we weren’t super close the last few years, my heart really hurts and I know that probably hurt her. But I have to say - the feeling speaking up and not letting crazy ideals fly around unchecked feels really, really good. It makes me feel like I don’t have to just nod and smile to people’s crazy shit anymore because look what can happen. I won’t become a radical, but I will speak up more. M... keep reading on reddit ➡
It's pretty eye opening how much of my life has been defamed because of them, that everybody that ever knew me sees me in a perspective that is because of my parents. Just wow man