Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which of them gets in.
The Angel asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.
Dolly takes off her top and says, 'Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity.'
The Angel thanks Dolly, and asks Her Majesty the same question. The Queen takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, drinks it down. Then, pees into a toilet and pulls the lever.
The Angel says, 'OK, your Majesty, you may go in.'
Dolly is outraged and asks, 'What was that all about?
I show you two of God's own perfect creations and you turn me down. She pees into a toilet and she gets in!
'Sorry, Dolly,' says the Angel, 'but even in Heaven, A Royal Flush beats a Pair. no matter how big they are.
Edit: Obligatory "Wow, this blew up!" message. Thanks for all the awards!
To those calling this out as a repost, I wasn't aware but fair enough. My dad told it to me and he's chuffed that you all like it! And as far as I can see, this has brought a lot of laughter to a lot of folks.
In the UK, the Queen writes to people to congratulate them on their 100th birthday. She’s only a few years away from 100 herself, if she makes it, will she write herself a letter? If not, will someone else? Or will she be the first British person to reach 100 and be letterless?
Use this post to discuss whatever you want! Future dream casts, trying your stand up career, crying shenanigans about this season's robbed cinnamon bun... it all goes here. Just remember to be civil and keep opinions here and not in the speculation threads. Thank you!
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i know not everyone likes animals but i enjoy celebrating our outspoken childfree celebrities! with their platforms i think it helps reduce the stigma.
To many, Anne Boleyn, in her dark headpiece and iconic 'B' necklace, is among the most recognizable Tudor images. In reality, this portrait, likely painted decades after her death, may be completely inaccurate. But why is Anne's true appearance lost to history?
Life:
I assume that most people reading this are at least somewhat familiar with the life of Anne Boleyn, so I’ll be brief. Born a nobleman's daughter, Anne spent time in France and the Netherlands before returning to England and serving as a lady-in-waiting for Catherine of Aragon, the first wife of Henry VIII. Lively and witty, Anne was a stark contrast to the pious Catherine, and she quickly charmed Henry. After several years and lots of trouble, Henry divorced Catherine and married Anne, to the shock and consternation of all. Anne was immensely unpopular, and after she failed to give Henry a son, his love for her began to fade. Eventually, eager to be rid of her, Henry had Anne arrested and sent to the Tower of London on a variety of almost certainly false charges, including adultery, incest, and treason. On May 19, 1536, Anne Boleyn was beheaded. Henry was betrothed to his next wife by the day after, and they wed ten days later.
Descriptions:
Today, though no definitive portraits of Anne exist, we have a rough idea of what she might have looked like. Unfortunately, this is somewhat complicated by the number of contrasting accounts, especially those that have developed in later years.
We know for certain that Anne was slim, with dark, straight hair, and dark eyes. She had a prominent nose, a wide mouth, and olive skin. Interestingly, however, far from the way she’s usually depicted in modern adaptations, as an alluring temptress, many did not consider her a great beauty by the standards of the time, which favored pale plump blondes. Though some described her as “beautiful and with an elegant figure” or “the fairest and most bewitching of all the lovely dames of the French court,” others called her only “reasonably good looking” or even “not one of the handsomest women in the world.” Anne’s greatest source of attraction was her intelligence, grace, and sharp tongue; one courtier said as much, writing that “albeit in beauty she was to many inferior, but for behaviours, manners, attire and tongue she excelled them all.”
After Anne’s execution, however, descriptions began to change. If she had been despised in life, she was even more so in death, even with the ascension of her daughter
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It could be a possibly unpopular opinion, but I really want a DLC focus on the god of deception to just completely screw with everyone. I'm talking the whole nine yards, maybe some fake leaks, trailers with things that are possibly not true, exotic reveals, obviously not always, but I really want this DLC to specifically be the one where it becomes hard to trust the information bungie gives us. Surprise everybody. I feel like not everybody's going to be on board with this but I feel like for the theme of the DLC going in there expecting one thing and getting another just really fits in with savathun
Edit: for everyone screaming false marketing, there's more than one way to include things that don't happen within the game. And there have been other times in destiny where we haven't gotten a small piece of content or a cutscene from a trailer. bungee could easily include some of the other content in like a dream sequence or even in an illusion that's cast to us, use your imagination
Edit 2: for people saying buns you can't put anything in the trailers that's not in the official game: https://youtu.be/onrnqkv7PDE show me any of this in game https://youtu.be/h-5S82ETKvI this isn't either.
bungee can create promotional material that includes things that are not in the game and if that's used to misdirect the audience I'm pretty sure it doesn't violate anything
Note: I genuinely have no idea how to flair this. It's a combination of lost artifact, unexplained death, and disappearance.
Today, the bust of the legendary Egyptian Queen Nefertiti is one of the world's most recognizable works of Egyptian art. But for all its fame, little is known concretely about Nefertiti’s life and death. Who were her parents? Where was she from? How many children did she have? How and when did She die? The answer to one question, however, would surprisingly help us answer most others: how much power did Nefertiti wield?
Note: I will be shortening most of the names mentioned here, eg. from Ankhkheperure-mery-Neferkheperure/-Waenre/-Aten Neferneferuaten to Neferneferuaten. I think the reasoning behind this is clear.
Early Life:
Neferneferuaten Nefertiti, whose name translates to “A/The Beautiful Woman Has Come,” was born sometime around 1370 BC. Her parentage is unknown, but she may have been a princess of Mitanni, a northern Syrian state, or the daughter of Ay, who would rule as pharaoh after the death of Tutankhamun (better known as King Tut); this theory, however, is controversial, as Nefertiti was never explicitly referred to as the daughter of Ay and his wife Tey, though some have proposed the existence of another wife, Luy, before Tey. Some also believe that Nefertiti was the full sister of her husband, the Pharaoh Akhenaten, whom she wed in an unknown year, likely soon after he took the throne. The relationship seems to have been a happy one—by the standards of the Egyptian royal family at the time, at least—and there are numerous depictions of Nefertiti and Akhenaten together during his early reign. Some artwork even suggests that she may have been considered a living fertility goddess.
Akhenaten’s rule was controversial; rather than worship the traditional Egyptian Gods, he averted worship towards Aten—‘the disc of the sun,’ and an aspect of Ra—and changed many aspects of Egyptian life. Nefertiti and Akhenaten had at least an unknown number of daughters (probably around seven or eight, but at least six), at least one of whom Akhenaten may have taken as a wife, and two of whom became queens of Egypt.
**Coregency & First disa
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Use this post to discuss whatever you want! Future dream casts, trying your stand up career, crying shenanigans about this season's robbed cinnamon bun... it all goes here. Just remember to be civil and keep opinions here and not in the speculation threads. Thank you!
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Today's title is brought to you by u/m1900kang2 !
Use this post to discuss whatever you want! Future dream casts, trying your stand up career, crying shenanigans about this season's robbed cinnamon bun... it all goes here. Just remember to be civil and keep opinions here and not in the speculation threads. Thank you!
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Today's title was brought to you by /u/bbbbbeanuts !
