I’m a 24 yo woman who never had any relationships because I have slight social anxiety and never had the courage to put myself out there. I always postponed it, waiting to be « ready », but realized I was never gonna be, and I’m soon to be a 25 yo virgin. (Though there is nothing wrong with it obv)
I’m doing okay socially, going to parties, socializing (pre-Covid), I have many friends, but I have never let anyone be close enough to me to be more than just friends. I think I have a vulnerability issue, and I’ve been always too scared to try and talk to men "romantically" - I don’t know, it makes me immediately uncomfortable so I’ve always avoided it. I have many male friends though and no issues there.
Anyway I wanted to download tinder to talk to guys. Would this be a good idea ? I also don’t want to waste anyone’s time because right now I would absolutely not be ready to go on a date. Basically I just want to use tinder to talk with men.
My social anxiety also makes me believe that I’m completely boring and unworthy of anyone which is what blocks me from dating IRL lol. + the shyness that makes me go red right away.
Anyway. What’s your opinion on this, or would you have any advice for me.
Edit : just woke up, I’m reading all your comments.
Many seems to have misunderstand me. I have no issue talking to people and men. What I want do is pursue them romantically, show them I’m interested, etc. Just talk to men and go any further than “just being friends". If any such things seems to happen I just chicken the fuck out.
I’ve had instances where I talked to boys I liked but I was drunk all the time, and didn’t lead anywhere because they had gf. (Did not know and was not flirting anyway)
I liked this guy in HS for three years and never told him. Saw him back two years ago and confessed, he seemed bummed out. Tried to get my number for the rest of the evening and I didn’t give it to him, because I thought 1) he’s either gonna be clingy (there is l no reason why I thought that) or 2) it’s gonna end up in a date and I’m nooooot ready for it.
My partner(33f) and I(31m) have been together for a few years now and it is nearly all great. I work in the city, but at home currently, and my girlfriend is using her inheritance to work on her 'art'.
I am a very supportive partner: I help her film and edit videos, do her promotion on social media(as she is quite shy and reluctant to do it herself), be a roadie when she had gigs in the old days. I have even offered to pay for a rehearsal studio for her to practice in that would have 'better acoustics' than our flat.
The only real problem is that I find her singing voice,and most of her material, to be very annoying-slow acoustic rap covers are old hat now ffs. I can cope for 5 or 10 minutes at a time but after that it is like nails on a chalk board. My colleagues can faintly hear her in the background of my video meetings, even though I close my office door, and I think a few times I have heard them sniggering but I've just tried to ignore it.
As we live in a flat and our neighbors have a child that is currently home schooling I have agreed to pay them £1 to bang on the wall whenever I request them to.
This was working well until my neighbours parent asked him where he got the money for his new trainers and unfortunately he ratted me out. The parent has noticed in their hallway conversations that my girlfriend has seemed a bit down lately and has put two and two together and figured it out and is now telling me that what I've done is terrible and that if I don't tell my girlfriend what has been going on then she will.
AITA for just wanting a bit of peace and quiet when I'm working?
I am a software developer not yet near FIRE, but I am approaching some semblance of FU money, with a bloated savings account and a decent chunk of change invested in various tax advantaged accounts. This month, I earned a good review at work, and decided I could start to coast a bit more and try to focus more on my mental health. However, my boss had a different plan. Suddenly, I have more pressure than ever to deliver multiple projects yesterday, and am at a loss for how to respond.
How do you use your FU money in practice? In my experience, at least 50% of bosses want to push their employees to give their jobs 110%. I always imagined when I got to this point that I would be able to coast with a more comfortable 80%-90% effort, but it seems most bosses put pressure on their employees to be as productive as humanely possible by any means necessary. The pressure has really started to affect me and I have considered quitting, but since quitting would delay my FIRE date, I would prefer to keep my job with a slightly reduced workload. I also have some fairly specialized skills on our team, which has resulted in me being the only person on our team able to deliver certain projects. I thought this would be good leverage too, but I'm not sure my non-technical boss will truly appreciate this fact until I'm gone.
How do you utilize your FU money to make yourself more comfortable at work, without setting yourself up to get additional pressure from your boss or labeled as an underachiever/candidate for the chopping block?