There's something nauseating about 'wholesome' stuff. Mybe I'm a cynic, but to me it's clearly shallow and feels like a condescending pat on the back.
For example, I make a lot of chilled-out Lofi music - and It's a pretty wholesome environment, as you can imagine. A lot of the people who make it are super nice, and if there's one thing you need to know to understand my argument it's that I DON'T HATE KIND PEOPLE. The issue is when ridiculously wholesome comments are given for no reason, with no context, in the middle of conversations.
Picture the scene: I'm chilling in a discord server talking to a friend about chords or something, when some guy I've never met randomly pipes up with 'Hey, I don't know who needs to hear this, but whoever you are, wherever you are, you mean a lot to a lot of people. Suicide is never the answer, stay positive and do what you love 🙏' or something along those lines.
I agree with his message, but it means absolutely nothing if there's no context or reasoning behind it. I also understand that this message could have a profoundly positive impact on someone going through tough times. And that's amazing, I'm glad there are people in this world who dedicate time to helping to motivate and help out people in need. But there's a seperate text channel in that specific discord server for mental-health-related topics, this guy just chucked it into general in the middle of a conversation and left. It's things like that that makes me think they don't mean it - that makes these comments feel shallow.
But yeah feel free to flame me in the comments for being a hateful cynic or something
Glad to see the positivity in the thread is back. Was getting slightly worried and not sure if it had to do with all the craziness going on with the mods, but, whatever it was, glad to see everybody is doing okay!
Edit 2/5/20 6:47 AM: Wow, I didn’t expect everyone to be so active on this! This has been a great birthday so far, and it’s all because of you guys. Thank you for the kind words and the awards! Keep your heads up! GME TO THE MOON! (Spend your award money on stocks you like, not me!)
Almost every body positivity post on Instagram and other platforms focus on attractiveness. Its full of conventionally pretty but overweight women flaunting how hot they are despite their weight. Most songs that are supposed to be body positive instead focus on how thicc women are hotter, and other stupid stuff like "more cushion for the pushin".
I think this is a terrible way to approach body positivity. Accusing someone of being "fatphobic" just because they wouldnt want to date a larger person is ridiculous. Youre allowed to have a preference, youre allowed to want to have a partner who shares the same values and lifestyle as you. Further, lets face it not all women look like plus sized super models. The focus on how hot larger women are makes it seem as if you have no societal value if you are fat and not conventionally pretty.
Instead, the body positivity movement should focus on respect. While it is perfectly valid for me to not be attracted to someone due to their apperance, it is NOT valid for me to treat anyone as lesser because of their apperance. You should not base a persons value to society or worth based on their appearance or weight. In fact, I would argue that this is an even bigger issue for plus sized people. Overweight women are far more likely to be categorized as lazy and unprofessional based on apperance alone (https://www.marketwatch.com/story/only-15-of-hiring-managers-would-consider-hiring-an-overweight-woman-2017-12-11) which is ridiculous. No one has to be romantically attracted to you, but people (especially hiring managers) ought to base someones worth off their merits rather than apperance.
This of course applies to every body that would fall under the body positivity movement, I just chose to focus on overweight individuals as they seem to dominate most of the body positivity conversation. You could also argue that increased romantic attraction is a consequence of greater acceptance of people in larger bodies. However, I still think that this shouldnt be the focus. It alienates alot of men from body positivity who would be more hesitant to participate in a movement thats composed primarily of women in lingerie talking about how hot they are. It also goes into some uncomfertable territory about how a womens worth is still tied to her apperance.
I am aware that there are some people who prescribe to the respect notion, however by in large the image of the body positivity movement is insta models like Tess Holiday. I wis... keep reading on reddit ➡
I'm so tired of seeing the phrase "sex negative" when people criticize Female Dating Strategy.
It's among the top reasons why people want us to be banned: "they're anti- casual sex, they're anti-porn, they're anti-prostitution, they're anti-polyamory, they're anti-BDSM, they're anti-everything! So sex negative. They are a hate sub. How have they not been banned yet!?!?"
#"Sex positivity" fails to address the unique struggles that women face under patriarchy. Accusations of "sex negativity" silences any discussion that even consensual sex is often a negative experience for women.
First, let's get definitions out of the way. From wikipedia:
>The sex positive movement seeks to change cultural attitudes and norms around sexuality, promoting the recognition of sexuality as a natural and healthy part of the human experience and emphasizing the importance of personal sovereignty, safer sex practices, and consensual sex (free from violence or coercion)... sex positivity is "an attitude toward human sexuality that regards all consensual sexual activities as fundamentally healthy and pleasurable, encouraging sexual pleasure and experimentation... The movement generally makes no moral distinctions among types of sexual activities, regarding these choices as matters of personal preference.
At face value, this definition seems pretty great, right?
To be fair, and to give credit where credit is due, there are some aspects of the sex positivity movement that have actually been great for women. Sex education, safe sex, reproductive rights (access to birth control and abortion), and emphasizing consensual sex free from violence and coercion, are all beneficial to women.
That being said, there are a lot of aspects of the sex positivity movement that do us more harm than good.
We still live in a patriarchal world, and there are plenty of scenarios where even consensual sex can be a negative experience for women:
I’m taking a bit of inspiration from a Guardian article regarding single-positivity for women. It’s pretty great that women are able to frame being single as a liberating and empowering experience, and I’d love men to be able to do the same.
I think there’s not just a place for a men’s single-positivity movement. There’s a need for it. And not just for the obvious goal of trying to stop more incels being created, but I think that for regular guys who have either been unlucky in love, or are just done with the whole dating thing and are happy to move on, we should help them be positive.
For me, I’ve spent a lot of time pursuing relationships, and it generally leads to a lot of stress. I’ve found that mentally, I’m better when I’m not pursuing a relationship. I am the outlier. In my friend groups, everyone else is married, has kids, or both. I’m the defiantly single one.
Maybe it hasn’t always been entirely my choice to be single, but after I’ve gotten into relationships with people who really aren’t suitable for me, just because I’ve felt the pressure to get into a relationship - any relationship - when I was younger, I’m not willing to get into a relationship unless it’s with someone who I can really see myself going the distance with.
The freedom to be selective is tied to my ability to accept being single. It’s empowering. It’s something more men should have.
And I think men do face pressure to couple up. The comments in the Guardian article about having ‘another half’ seem to ring true to me as a man as well as the woman who wrote the article.
I think as well, men are conditioned to need a romantic relationship more than women are. As men, we do a terrible job of supporting each other, and women are socialised to be better nurturers, so heterosexual men seek in a woman what they can’t get from men. We just don’t seem to be teaching men that fulfilment can come from within.
There’s definitely the pressure amongst heterosexual men, but I have a gay friend who is perennially single, and he gets some of the pressure from his friends - it’s as though he’s not allowed to be happy without a boyfriend.
I think single-positivity is a great thing for women and for men. I’ve always admired how there seems to be a place for single positivity in the women’s movement, so what would a men’s single positivity movement look like? How would it work fo... keep reading on reddit ➡
Look at the two subs this one and WSB look at the difference between both of them in this one everyone is positive that we are going to moon but how come in the other one it was mostly spammed with "you guys were left being bagholders, should of sold when it went to 500." Tons of people held and posted their shares with high amounts. The fucking media is against us since the start that "silver squeeze" bullshit no one abandoned and held their shares. The media isn't our friend, It doesn't take a day to take down these rich fucks "GmE sHorT sQueEze iS oVer" SHUT THE FUCK UP. TONS of people around the world bought into these shares GME and AMC. 💎Don't fear losing because you WON'T sell!!! If you don't sell what the fuck are they gonna do? Take your virtual money that hasn't been finalized they want you to lose don't give them the satisfaction by selling shit.
Everyone has seen the lies, bots, media, those mods that took over WSB like come on this shit is happening infront of your face. Don't use money you can't "lose" (You won't be selling)
Not financial advice or anything of the sorts
These stocks moved my heart and love them with all my heart because of the memories they gave me and can't wait to see fellow apes watching movies with their wife and her boyfriend sharing a bucket of popcorn. 🦍💎🦍 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀
DIAMONDS ARE MADE UNDER PRESSURE.
Hey, it's February. Although many parts of the world are still in deep freeze, Groundhog Day always feels like turning a corner. It's a reminder that the winter of our discontent won't last forever.
Our LOCKDOWN SKEPTICISM POETRY CONTEST continues, but we've moved the deadline up to Feb. 15. In this contest, bad poems are good poems, so you can cross that excuse off your list. For details, see the pinned comment under this post.
What good things have gone down in your life recently? Any interesting plans for this week? Any news items that give you hope? Whether inspired or just bored, join the poetry contest for some extra fun.
LETS BRING THIS BABY BAXK UP💎🙌💎🙌💎
We can’t always have big news to announce, like graduations or new jobs. Sometimes we have to look for nuggets of goodness in the mundane rubble of life: a phone call with an old friend, a new recipe, an inspiring movie. If it helps keep us afloat, it counts.
What good things have gone down in your life recently? Any interesting plans for this week? Any news items that give you hope? Big or small, the good stuff is worth celebrating.
This is a No Doom™ zone
Last week's positivity thread had 521 comments -- a new record. This thread gives hope to a lot of our members, so keep those comments coming. And there's no rule saying you can't comment more than once (or five times) on each thread.
Also: come and participate in our first LOCKDOWN SKEPTICISM POETRY CONTEST -- a seriously unserious event. For details, see the pinned comment under this post.
Edited to add: Two days in, we have about 30 individual entries. Keep 'em coming!
What good things have gone down in your life recently? Any interesting plans for this week? Any news items that give you hope? Feel free to join the poetry contest for some extra fun.
This is a No Doom™ zone
I am normally cool with letting people believe whatever they want as long as they're not affecting me but people who believe in astrology are often very in your face and annoyingly open about their beliefs. Often they expect me, as a female zoomer living in the US, to have bandwagoned onto this bullshit trend. It's especially prominent in a lot of online self help communities and pages/forums intended to discuss mental health and positivity.
I'm all for helping other people take care of themselves and work on their mental health, but do I really believe that Mercury retrograde, an optical illusion, is the source of anybody's struggles and relationship problems...fuck no. In fact if anything you're just giving people a scapegoat to blame their issues on instead of helping them actually accept their reality and do something about it. Any time someone I know or someone I see online says her boyfriend is being such a Capricorn I'm just thinking about how immature they fucking sound. Astrology is becoming this huge fad in my demographic and I find it so obnoxious...it's to the point where it's everywhere you look and people expect you to believe in it when there is literally no reason to believe in it. the theory that astrological sign or stuff like mercury retrograde affects your personality or daily life is completely rejected by science.
I feel as though this trend reflects a larger issue in society where people simply don't bother to fact check their beliefs and it's too easy for them to spread misinformation.
So I'm calling it out whenever I see it. Here's an image someone created earlier today. It was deleted from the group it was posted to, so I thought I'd share it here and invite you all to share your responses to toxic positivity and celebrations of educational martyrdom.
I’m not saying makeup is a bad thing. Makeup is the same as fancy clothes or just anything that’s aesthetically pleasing in general, it’s just for show. Saying you wear makeup to be positive about yourself is not positive at all.
Think about it this way. What’s positive about not being secure enough in your blank face to be able to go out into the world without makeup? Body positivity is being confident in things you can’t control, such as your skin tone, your nose, your hands, your sexual parts. It’s not changing to be something you’re not, and it’s not things you can control. Makeup isn’t body positivity, it’s just an object at the end of the day, just like clothes and hairstyles. If you need it to be what you want to be seen as, then you are insecure and not positive about yourself.
So I was recently diagnosed and started medication last week to help with symptoms. I've added some endo support pages on Instagram and on here (Reddit) to glean some advice and insights from other sufferers. I have been bombarded with this cookie cutter, dentist motivation poster platitude soup that is so frustrating. Toxic positivity is a huge problem with illness/disease support. The "Secret"-style attitude and messages of positivity through trial is a clear tactic to keep us quiet and satisfied with terrible healthcare, inhumane treatment at clinics, insane battles with insurance companies over necessary medicine and the cruel demands of work while dealing with shattering pain and symptoms like diarrhea. We are allowed to be angry at the injustices and sad about this in general. I don't need a bold font message of motivation against a picture of a yawning cat! I need a group of people who are ready to take action for themselves and against a corrupt system!
I found this particularly interesting post on the cesspool that is HLTV forums- linked here.
Now, while HLTV isn't exactly conducive to great discussion, the poster did raise some interesting points- CSGO is in one of the best conditions its ever been in. And I actually kind of agree with this.
The game itself only looks to improve itself from its current state. Absolutely nothing in the game is overtuned or broken. Some maps are a little stale, and some are disliked, yet the community is surprisingly divided on this sentiment. Replacing or adding a map now can only improve things.
Even mechanically, almost all of the guns have their roles. Sure, there are some weapons- shotguns, a few SMGs and LMGs that could use a buff- but thats the thing. We only need slight buffs to improve the meta- heck the meta could even remain the same as it is right now and we'd be fine. The game has no bugs- or atleast no major flaws. Servers could certainly be 128 tick, but as the HLTV guy mentions, we do have external services for players who care enough for that, like FaceIt and ESEA. And honestly, I don't see 64 tick as a dealbreaker- and if Valve updated the servers, it'd only improve things. Ranked itself has no particular flaws outside of the aforementioned mappool changes.
Socially too, we're not too poorly off. Per Valve figures, VAC seems to be a doing a good job(anecdotally it seems to be awful, but that could be confirmation bias). The playerbase is quite toxic, sure, but then again almost every multiplayer game is like this. Meanwhile, we're peaking on Steam Charts quite consistently, hitting 1 million+ concurrent players at times. I don't think we've ever been in a better state in this regards, perhaps outside of when CSGO had just been released. Skins are certainly both good and bad. Skins look to only appreciate at the moment, with the most expensive skin recently being sold at almost $150k. Outside of general criticism of lootboxes, I don't think there's anything particularly wrong here either.
Despite what Richard Lewis may say, eSports only seems to be working to better itself. Sure, occasionally we get bullshit controversies, but organizations have actually started responding well to criticism. CSPPA actually made a decent ranking. ESL has tried restructuring NA MDL. FaceIt introduced team cups. I think at the very least, it's much less awful than it was just six... keep reading on reddit ➡