My late wife passed away about a year ago. We were together 10 years but not married until she became sick about a year before that. She has a daughter Beth who is 19 years old. Beth is taking college classes but they are 100% online so she has stayed at “home” which is my house. I’ve owned this before my wife moved in so it was never technically shared.
I’ve wanted to be supportive of Beth but don’t want her here indefinitely or until she’s done with college. That’s 3 more years and it makes dating super awkward. I had a lady friend over after a dinner date last week and she was snarky towards her and later told me I’m moving on too fast. I tried to have an honest talk about being ready to move on and date others but she kept calling me an asshole. Im just ready to move on with my life but her presence is making that difficult.
I told her I want her to move out at the end of this next semester which would be the end of May, so 5 full months to find a place. She flipped out and told me I’m abandoning her “to get laid”. This isn’t really the case I just want to move on to my life and don’t want to live with a 19 year old any longer. She’s still mad at me and is making living in my own home awkward. But she claims she can’t afford to go anywhere else.
Edit: I did not raise or adopt Beth. My wife was VERY clear that she was not looking for a replacement father for her. Beth never lived with me until 2 years ago when she was almost 18 when her mom moved in with me due to her being sick and needing more attention. I never played a fatherly role in her life.
Before moving in She and her mom moved every few years for a while. Beth didn’t move in til her senior year of high school because her mom needed my help. Obviously couldn’t move the mom in without the daughter.
Before giving her notice to leave tried to have a talk about ground rules for staying here mostly including being polite to any guests of mine. She then went off on me for moving on with my life. That is when I made my decision.
It wasn’t exactly your “traditional” marriage. Before getting sick my late wife never wanted to get married because her parents had such a nasty one and her parents have been divorced a combined 4 times. I’m not religious so never felt a need to get married either. When she got sick we realized her insurance was terrible while mine through work is much better. So it was a practical decision to get married so she could be added to mine. Even then, she affirmed I wa... keep reading on reddit ➡
Original post here https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/khvmzl/aita_for_making_my_late_wifes_daughter_move_out/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
My post got a lot of attention and there have been some developments so I thought people might be interested. I accept some blame in the situation but there were also a lot of details I didn’t have room for.
Since this post, Beth and I had some long conversations about the near future. Beth was mad for a couple days but yesterday came to talk to me and told me she realizes I’ve done a lot for her and wanted to thank me but also acknowledged it’s probably best for both of us to move on. She also recognized I have a right to move on at my own pace and apologized for lashing out at me.
One of her best friends is looking to get her own place as well so they will be looking into getting an apartment together, either by this summer or sooner. While we’re not religious, as a holiday gift I told her I will pay her entire security deposit when she finds her place. Not entirely sure if we will keep in touch much after she moves out but I’m glad we’ve come to an agreement that will allow both of us to move on without resentment towards each other.
Thought some people might be interested due to the passionate responses I got.
So I (37F) and my Husband (36M) have 8 kids(ages 3-13). All of them are adopted which is kinda important later. We RV fulltime in our travel trailer. So far it's been amazing and we have had so many amazing experiences. Also important to mention my husband and oldest daughter are deaf.(So are most of my kids but it's not very important to this story)
Anyways a few days we wanted to go to a town but there was only really one thing we wanted to see there so we decided we would get to the RV park in the afternoon on Friday and the kids would finish school and we would spend the night there and then on Saturday morning we would pack up the RV go to the thing we wanted to see and then from there go to a different state where we are staying for a week.
So when we arrived on Friday we started getting the RV unpacked. There were little tables with picnic benches outside of each RV and at the lot in front of us there was an elderly man sitting at the picnic tables. My kids are very well behaved and know that they shouldn't be very loud especially when we're in a park where the RV's are very close together. But the second we got out of the car the man was just staring at us, we get stares a lot but it was more angry than confused.
He then said "Hey lady, are those all yours!?" To me. I just said yes. Then he said "Well they better not be to loud!"(Those weren't his exact words because what he really said had some profanities) I rolled my eyes and just kinda walked away thinking I wouldn't have to interact with him much. We finished school and ate dinner, then around 6:30 I was helping my 3 and 5YO get ready for bed(Just get in PJ's and stuff but they don't really go to be until 7:30-8:00)
My other kids were just cleaning up the outside table from dinner when my 7YO fell and scraped her knee, she started crying as most 7YO's would. My 13YO went over to help her. Then the man(Who I guess was still sitting outside) started yelling at my 13YO to make my 7YO shut up. My 13YO obviously couldn't hear him as I said earlier but I guess he thought she was ignoring him. Then my husband went out to help my 7YO and the man started screaming at him to control his kids.
My husband signed that he didn't understand what he was saying and the man called my Husband an F-ing R slur. I heard that and ran out. I began arguing with the guy who said I was a terrible and abusive mother bringing my "Litter of Children" to a campsite with all elderly people. 1. I didn't know all elderly... keep reading on reddit ➡
EDIT : Correction in the title "Beating Women" --> "Supports beating women"
EDIT : Please comment more verses from hadiths or quran that might be helpful.
EDIT: added one more section.
I have a lot of muslim friends. 2 of them got out of it recently (ex-muslims now). One of him started sharing me some of the verses in quran and hadiths with me. That's how I got exposed to many bad things written in it.
Here are some of verses that clearly shows islam is not a religion of peace (many will now saw these are taken out of context, like they usually do. To those people, all i have to say is, whatever context it may be, a "god" is asking its creations to kill one another).
islam doesn't accept other god:
>la ilaha illa allah
Which means "there's no god other than allah". This is in their prayer, and they're supposed to pray 5 times a day. Whenever we argue islam is against all other religions, most never agrees. (there are many verses that shows hate to other religions, I might add it in the future, if I have time)
Verse showing quran is made in simple language, and easy to remember.
I have linked 54 9-17 below. quran 54 9-17 17th verse is as follows:
>And We have certainly made the Quran easy to remember. So is there anyone who will be mindful?
VERSES SPREADING PEACE:
Verse Supporting BEHEADING: quran 8 12
>˹Remember, O Prophet,˺ when your Lord revealed to the angels, “I am with you. So make the believers stand firm. I will cast horror into the hearts of the disbelievers. So strike their necks and strike their fingertips.”
>Indeed, the penalty for those who wage war against Allah and His Messenger and spread mischief in the land is death, crucifixion, cutting off their hands and feet on opposite sides, or exile from the land. This ˹penalty˺ is a disgrace for them in this world, and they will suffer a tremendous punishment in the Hereafter
ANTI GAY Verse:
>And ˹remember˺ when Lot scolded ˹the men of˺ his people, ˹saying,˺ “Do you commit a shameful deed that no man has ever done before? You lust after men instead of women! You are certainly transgressors.” But his people’s only response was to say, “Expel them from your land! They are a people who wish to remain chaste!” So... keep reading on reddit ➡
He followed the reaper..
War & Peace is my favourite book, and one that I love to re-read. It's genre is 'Epic', meaning it tells the story of not just a few characters, but of a time and place, and multiple families occupying that setting. You live and die with these characters, watch them grow up, marry, go to war, give birth, grieve, laugh... Their lives become a part of your own life.
But it is a difficult read, and can be challenging to a newbie, especially if they just dive in and try to speed through it.
I reckon the best approach is the day-at-a-time approach, giving you heaps of time to reflect and dissect each chapter.
Being Jan 4th, it's easy enough to catch up a couple of chapters, then make it your New Year's Resolution to read the book, a chapter per day, and be finished by 2022.