I'm a 38 year old woman and this incident happened when I was 24. My uncle, my dad's younger brother is a misogynistic piece of shit. He often cat calls women and gets mad when they don't open their legs for him. He does this even though he's married. Any woman who has been raped was "asking for it". A woman who pursued higher education, or had a high powered job was "going to end up an old maid". A woman asserting herself was automatically a bitch in his mind. When I was growing up, he had often bullied me for being interested in martial arts, comic books etc because "that's for boys". He would often ask "are you trying to be a boy?" and the other family members, including my own parents would laugh as if it was a joke. And don't even get me started on his homophobia.
14 years ago , I was attending university to get my Master's degree while working. My uncle's friend's son attended the same college. He had asked me out several times but I always turned him down. At times he would get on my nerve as he wouldn't take no for an answer and i had to tell him to fuck off. My uncle kept insisting that I give him a chance.
One day , my uncle invited me to his place on the pretext of helping my aunt with something. When I got there , my aunt wasn't there but the guy who had been pursuing me was. My uncle laughed like he had played this awesome prank and told me I needed tone alone with the guy "so I'd see how great he is". For a second interview froze , but then flight or fight kicked in and I ran out of the house. My uncle yelled at me to come back.
The creep (the guy who had been pursuing me) ran out after me. He caught up to me but I had already taken the pepper spray out of my purse. I sprayed him right in the eye. Then I went to a police station and filed a complaint.
I later found out that the guy had filed an assault complaint against me too. But in the past several woman had accused him of inappropriate behavior, the cops didn't take any action against me. The university was notified of his attempt to assault me and he was kicked out.
My uncle was livid when this happened and came to my apartment to confront me. He told me I had ruined an innocent man. That I was a "tease who leads men on". He told me that "too much education had ruined me". At the time I was so ready dealing with a lot of shit and I fucking lost it. I yelled at my uncle and asked if he had been paid by the guy to set me up with him. I asked if he was planning to whore... keep reading on reddit ➡
I (21f) had a rich grandfather who died recently and I didn't know him very well. He divorced my grandmother when my dad was 13 and barely spoke to him or his siblings for a few years after that. My aunts and uncle never why and felt really rejected by my grandfather's lack of interest in seeing them on a regular basis. When my dad was 18 he reached out to my grandfather and reconnected with him. Eventually, my grandfather was able to somewhat mend his relationship with my dad's other siblings and he even paid for their college. However, my grandfather and grandmother were still pretty bitter towards each other but never told anyone why or the reason for the divorce.
They didn't really stop being openly hostile to each other until my dad died when I was 4. Now that my grandfather's dead the secret came out when the will was read. Apparently my grandma had an affair and when she was pregnant with aunt she didn't know who the father was but choose my grandfather because he was the most financially stable. My grandfather didn't know for the longest time until he caught my grandmother in another affair and found an old letter her first lover sent that she kept. He was furious and filed for divorce and used every legal although not very ethical trick in the book to hoard as much of he assets and resources as he could.
The will stated that before each child could claim their share of the inheritance they would have to take a DNA test to prove that they were his biological child. To any child that refused the test or they were proven not to be biologically related to my grandfather, then they would just be given $5,000 while the rest would be allocated to the children who were proven to be his biological child. We were all shocked and grandma was livid. There were a lot of fights but in the end everyone wanted to present a "united front" and just try and find some kind of loophole, claim the money and then take a DNA test. I never agreed to that and resented being told what to do as a legal adult. I tried to talk to them about it but they shut me down twice. My uncle's wife even accused me of not really being my dad's kid so I shouldn't get any money anyway. That pissed me off so I just took the DNA test outta spite and I am my grandfather's biological grandchild so as of right now I'm getting most of the money.
My paternal side was really angry with me. It's now started this domino effect where everyone is starting to fight with everyone an... keep reading on reddit ➡
"Sugar and spice and everything nice is what little girls are made of"
I'm more than a little of the opinion that this is an attitude which trivializes the breadth of complexity that half the population of humanity has. That is to say, I think it dehumanizes women.
I'm hypothesizing that a monolithic portrayal of teenaged lesbians' relationships as cutesy/fluffy reinforces that attitude.
I get that most of those fanon relationships occur as a sort of fanservice (e.g. Smugbug, Pillbug, etc.), and given that perhaps the single largest repository of worm fanfiction (spacebattles) has a very strict policy on any kind of portrayal of teenage sexual behavior, teenagers' relationships in general are going to be portrayed with an unrealistic degree of blushing innocence.
But regardless of the cause, as the vast majority of these blushingly innocent relationships in worm fanon involve lesbians in particular, I do wonder if this has some unintended consequences.
Think I'm full of crap? Think I've got a point? I'd be interested in reading some other perspectives regardless.
I’m a newbie to genealogy. I took an AncestryDNA test in November. The website said I should have test results by Jan 5th (it’s Feb 4th) and I’m still waiting. I’ve only decided to take the test after my fathers death in 2019. He was adopted as a baby but later came to know his birth mother. He never knew his birth father. Since my Nana was only 16 at the time of my fathers birth she never divulged that information to anyone. She took it to her grave. I really want to know who my paternal grandfather is and I’m wondering how will I track people I’m related to via my paternal grandpa? What will they show up as on my AncestryDNA results?
So my paternal family own a restaurant and when I was 7 my dad died. He left me his share of the business in trust via my grandparents which reverted to me when I turned 18. So it's me, my grandparents, my three aunts and my uncle who all have a share in the business and we're all part owners. My mom remarried when I was 10 and my stepdad is a good man. We have a decent relationship. He views me as his daughter (he has no kids of his own). So when he lost his job due to Covid and he realized we were still operating taekout and delivery he asked if he could come to work there. I did talk to my family about it but always knew I would say no. It would just be too awkward to have him there and I don't think it would be healthy for his and my relationship. But he's hurt and so is my mom, that I wouldn't help them out by giving him the job. It's been five months since he first asked me and there are still issues because of it. I explained to them that I just felt it wasn't a good idea and it might not be great for our relationship to work together. They said it's a family business though so I don't have trouble working with family.
And now I feel guilty because of how things have turned out.
Just something I wanted to add but some might find it irrelevant hence putting it down here. When I say I am worried it would hurt the relationship I don't mean my being his boss. I mean being around my dad's family. We talk about him a lot. He has a photo on the wall. He has a space named after him. A lot of old regulars know me as "Danny's girl" (not his real name but you know) and I am proud of that. But I know he has always struggled with not living up to my dad in my eyes. And I know my family have struggled with another man being part of raising me because my dad was no longer here. They don't judge or feel my mom should have stayed single. But I think we all agree it should have been my dad and we wish it had been is all. And I know it wouldn't be a great environment to bring my stepdad into because even though I think he's nice and has been a good stepdad. He's not part of this family, like this side of the family and I feel like it would be too messy to include him even though my family left it for me to decide if I wanted him employed by us or not.
Received my 23andMe results today. I knew Spanish would come up due to colonisation, but didn't expect that Indian and Jewish. Thinking about these ancestors today.
So thanks to this group and especially u/Dipsywhipple 's posts, I spent quite a while finding DNA matches and building a tree and putting them in there. I got 11 matches on 1 tree that were all shared matches to my largest "unknown" paternal match (210cM) and using WATO, I got a pretty high number probability that Martha E Hargett is my paternal Grandmother's mother. I had suspected her just on age/location/situation. Her 1st husband died in 1890, she was 27 then with several small children. I believe she had my grandmother in 1895 and gave her up and then died shortly after.
Now the WATO tool said highest probability was that Martha and her husband were the parents of Goldie (my grandmother), but he died in 1890, 5 years before my grandmother was born. I am sure about his death date and pretty confident about my grandmother's birth year. The reason I am confident on my grandmother's birth year is the 1st document I have for her is the 1900 census with her adoptive parents and her age is listed as 5. Also, they put her birth date in their family bible as Mar 1895, which matches the 1900 census. I mean it could have been Goldie, my grandmother, was 6 or 4, but not 10. Also, Martha had a child (son) shortly (5 weeks) after her husband's death in 1890, so it is not like she didn't know she was pregnant when he died and had a baby 9 months later in 1891.
One pickle is I can not find Martha's death certificate or grave. A few trees on Ancestry have her death date as 1893, but no sources. I have contacted several with no response. If she died in 1893, then she could not be my grandmother's mother unless the birth date I have for my grandma is off by 2 years, a possibility actually.
What makes me think she did not die in 1893? I have found a marriage certificate for Martha Barlow in 1896 to a Joseph Wentworth in the same MO county. She is listed as Martha E Barlow on the marriage cert, and I searched to see if it is a different Martha E Barlow that it could possibly be, but did not find any.
But I found no 1900 census for Martha and her youngest son (b1890) from her 1st marriage is living with another family (Allen,unrelated as far as I can tell, listed as "Home" under relation?) in the area. 2 other children from her 1st marriage are also with different families in 1900. (1 boy with a paternal uncle, 1 girl working as a servant, 1 girl I can not find, maybe she was recorded under another name in 1900, but in 1905 she appears and marries in the... keep reading on reddit ➡
About two years ago, I went on a solo trip where I met Enzo. My trip was 2.5 months total and I spent the entire last month with him. I had a lot of stuff going on back then, so it was only supposed to be a harmless distraction and we never kept in contact after I left. I found out I was pregnant three weeks later. I had no way to get in touch with him and I did try to find him on social media, but I had no luck.
My friend suggested I hire a PI to find him but they’re expensive and it took me a while to save up for one. I finally got in touch with him this year and after doing a paternity test he decided he wanted to be involved. I have no problem with that, and he met our son for the first time two weeks ago. His family have also since met him.
Here’s my dilemma; his family are incredibly controlling and are making demands already. I always knew I would have to compromise with Enzo, but his family are trying to completely railroad me into doing everything their way. They want my son to go to a specific school, to eat a specific diet, they want me to change his last name and give him a middle name of their choosing, they want me to have him learn certain languages and are already talking about the hobbies he’ll do. Things got really bad yesterday when his family tried to bully me into agreeing to get married and I had to ask them all to leave because I was so angry, I was almost in tears. They made me seem like such a bad mum for refusing when I barely know any of them. They’ve also made other comments about how I should live my life now even though I’ve managed a whole year without any of their input or help.
I really regret ever contacting Enzo, I know that sounds awful but it’s how I feel. I know I only knew him for a month, but he was so nice when we met. Now he’s a completely different person. He and his family are elitist bullies, and I can’t imagine having to deal with them for the next 20+ years of my life.
We’re already working on a custody agreement but I’m not sure what to do in the meantime. How do I get them to just stop?
TL;DR – I finally found and contacted my son’s father but now he and his family think they can dictate everything about his (and my) life and I’m fed up.
I turned 21 a few months ago and all of a sudden it’s like a switch flipped in my brain from never wanting to settle down/have kids to immediately wanting to get married and have kids ASAP after I get my degree. Did something like this happen to any of you, too? It’s like my monkey brain woke up and was like, “You must pass on your genes.”
I am a content creator for an adult site. My ex found my account and is threatening to use it against me in court. Temporary orders have placed my son in my care full time with 1 day per week visit with my ex. I do not meet up with anyone or even date. I ONLY deal with customers online. Is there any chance this could impact my case negatively even though it has nothing to do with my child? Both of us are unrepresented at this time
I had a summer “fling” with my ex. I found out I was pregnant after it was over and when I told him, he freaked. His family and he tried to force me to abort (they even offered me a LOT of money in exchange) so I went NC after telling them I wouldn’t. When our son was barely 2 months, my ex and his family decided they could do a better job of raising him and started a long and very expensive custody battle. They pretty much crippled me financially and my ex’s father enjoyed every minute of it.
I remember he made really awful comments about me (pretty sure the post will get removed if I type them) when he found out I was pregnant. He was very smug when I begged them to drop the custody case. He also pulled some strings to get me fired and to screw my career over massively. In the end, they screwed themselves over too because my ex now has to pay me child support which I had no intention of going after originally.
When my son was 15 months, my ex started feeling guilty and tried to make amends by clearing the debt his family had put me in. He’s also spent the past year and a half trying to get back together, which means his family have tried to rug sweep everything that happened too and pretend we're all going to be one big happy family one day.
When my son is with his dad, he has a nanny (Lucy), who often picks him up and drops him off too. We’ve become friends and she keeps me updated about my son when he’s with his dad.
A few weeks ago, my son’s grandparents were there whilst he was at his dad’s. Lucy was sending me texts about how nice his grandfather is. I sent her back a text saying, “If Satan was a person, it would be him” and explained what happened. My ex (and his family) found out about what I said and now they’re all harassing me over how rude I was and how my ex’s dad has done so much for my son and I should be grateful. I've also apparently embarrassed them by telling her the truth because she passed on what happened to a few of the other people who work for him/them.
I only feel slightly like an AH because after I told my friend she mentioned how my ex’s dad really helped when my son got sick a few months ago and he had to be hospitalised, which is true but I still don’t like him.
Sorry to get a little off topic. My father went to Thailand after the Vietnam War. He told me that I have a sister that was born in Bangkok circa 1971. All I know is her name is Noy and her mother worked on one of the USAF facilites in Bangkok. Today she would be a middle aged woman who looks half Thai and half German.
I am sure many of us have "war siblings". Any idea how to locate them?
Both me and my wife, but especially me, are having a really hard time connecting with our three month old placement. She is a tremendous amount of work, and has some high maintenance needs (we have done babies in the past and never felt this way). She is pulling us away from our other kids and honestly for the first time, I am not excited at all about fostering her. I feel INCREDIBLY guilty. I am not giving up yet, but I do feel a bit like I can’t breath and I’m stuck. I’m a bit ashamed of myself to be honest.
Okay so spoilers if you're not caught up. We know that our beloved Red, played by James Spader, is not the actual off-screen, only spoken about Raymond Reddington. So the big question is who is he, and what's his relationship to Elizabeth, right? From most theories, and angles trying to figure out who Red is, from what I've read and watched it always has to do with Katarina. What if Red is Raymond Reddington's brother? It would explain how Red knows about Elizabeth, why he cares about her, it would explain Jennifer (who I'm still confused about, is the actual Raymond Reddington her father?), and it would explain how Naomi Hyland knowing that Red was an imposter.
...when he asked me where I kept all my dad jokes, I told him…
...they were stored in my dadabase!