What do our parents who listen to conservative media believe is going to happen in the coming weeks?
Today, my mother put in our family group text, “God bless all!!! Stay close to the Lord these next few weeks, something big is coming!!!”
I see in r/insaneparents that there seems to be a whole slew of conservative parents giving ominous warnings of big events coming soon, a big change, so be safe and have cash and food stocked up. Example: https://www.reddit.com/r/insaneparents/comments/kxg9mv/i_was_raised_in_a_doomsday_cult_my_mom_says_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
I understand that it’s connected to Trump politics and some conspiracies, but how deep does it go?
I’m realizing that my mother is much more extreme than she initially let on the past couple years, and it’s actually making me anxious.
What are the possibilities they believe in and how did they get led to these beliefs?
Edit: well this got a lot of attention while I was asleep! I do agree that this is similar to some general “end times” talk that I’ve heard before from some Christian conservatives whenever a Democratic is elected. However, this seems to be something much more. I also see similar statements of parents not actually answering when asked about it, that’s definitely the case here. Just vague language comes when questioned, which I imagine is purposeful, so that it can be attached to almost anything that might happen.
Edit2: certainly didn’t expect this to end up on the main page! I won’t ever catch up, but the supportive words are appreciated! I was simply looking for some insight into an area of the internet I try to stay detached from, but realized I need to be a bit more aware of it. Thanks to all who have given a variety of responses based on actual right-wing websites or their own experiences. I certainly don’t think that there is anything “big” coming. I was once a more conspiracy-minded person, but have realized over the years that most big, wild conspiracy theories are really just distractions from the day-to-day injustices of the world. However, given recent events, my own mother’s engagement with these theories makes me anxious about the possibility of more actions similar to the attack on the Capitol. Again, I’m unsure of which theory she subscribes to, but as someone who left the small town I was raised in for a city, 15 years ago, I am beginning to realize just how vast a difference there is present in the information and misin... keep reading on reddit ➡
This all started when I was 12 years old and my younger sister was ten. Let's call her Abby. Well, Abby started to get sick and no one in the family knew what was going on. I started to be dropped off at my grandparents as they went to different doctors. I'm not going to go into her illness but when the doctors figured it out it was bad. So a lot of time was devoted to my sister.
When I was 14 it got worse and I started to be left at my grandparents for longer amounts of time. It started with just staying the weekend and then maybe the whole week. I would bring it up and they told me that they have to focus on Abby. Soon I was staying there for months. By the time I was 16 I was basically living there full time. I would maybe see them every other month. If it texted them about the whole thing the same response was always sent, We need to focus on Abby right now.
I'm 19 now and Abby has passed away from her illness. Her funeral was two weeks ago and I attended through facetime. I got a call today from my parents and they wanted to met up and be a family again. I told them that they abandoned one child for another. I am not their child anymore. That they only have one daughter and she is six feet under the ground now. I soon hung up
I've been getting texts calling me an ass and that I should understand that they needed to focus on ABBy and to suck it up basically. So AITA
I am stuck in a different state than my family and friends right now due to the virus so on my birthday my boyfriend and parents were going to throw me small party. Just me, my boyfriend and his little siblings, and his parents. A super low-key dinner.
I'm vegetarian, I have been for 13 years, it's not anything new or anything that people don't know.
So when I went to their house and saw them cooking pasta with bacon piece's, and cooking up veggies in the bacon grease pan, I realized there was nothing I could have except beer and I was hungry. I reminded them I don't eat meat, and they were like "you can pick the bacon bits out, there just sprinkled on top, and give them to ( boyfriend) he'll eat anything. And we made vegetables that you can eat too."
I didn't want to pick meat out of the pasta or eat vegetables that were cooked in bacon fat so I said I wasn't sure, I didn't like meat flavor at all. I might have something else.
They said there was hardly any bacon grease in the pan, while they'd used it for bacon they just didn't wash in between but I wouldn't even taste it
Then I ordered a pizza to their house and when it arrived his parents were mad and upset that I had. I said that I mentioned that I wasn't into eating meat so I might get my own food.
My boyfriend and I left early and went out ice skating so the day turned out fine lol
AITA for ordering pizza?
So, first things first, I (F17) do not know how to play the piano. Never took a lesson in my life. My father was a musician, so I have plenty of musical instruments in my house. They were mostly taking dust after he died ten years ago, so I started playing them. I have a good ear and I'm a quick learner, but I mostly focused myself on the clarinet and the guitar. I did learn to play a few songs on the piano, though. Not very complicated ones, but they are nice to hear and I'm quite good playing them. But I learned through piano tutorials, I have no technique, I just learned what keys I had to press and tried to do it over and over again until I could. I guess, though, if you happen to enter my house while I'm in the piano room playing, I can pass momentarily for someone who knows how to play the piano, and that's what happened to my aunt and uncle.
They have 2 children and a buttload of money, they make three times what my family made when I was growing up. My cousin (F9) wants to learn how to play the piano, and has been asking multiple times for lessons. But my lovely aunt and uncle, who own a last-generation gaming system, every possible gaming console the kids are not even allowed to play with, a two-storey villa, a house on the sea, apparently don't have the money to pay for her expensive lessons.
However, yesterday they came to visit and I was playing the piano when they arrived so I didn't hear them. The barged in the piano room and started saying that they didn't know I could play the piano and that I was extremely selfish for not offering to teach my cousin since I knew how much she wanted to learn and that they don't have the means to afford lessons. I politely explained that I do not, in fact, know how to play the piano. They called me a liar. I calmly explained that I am in no way qualified to give lessons since I'd need lessons myself. They attacked me, saying that I had obviously already taken lessons and I was refusing only because they couldn't pay me. I explained how it is I can play some songs on the piano, and assured them that if I knew how to play it I'd gladly teach my cousin for free. They insisted I should at least teach her the few songs I know how to play so that she could see if she still liked it and at this point I had enough and here's where I might be TA, I told them I didn't know how to play the piano but if she wanted to learn that much they could stop be some cheap a**holes and pretending they don't have the money wh... keep reading on reddit ➡
Oh man.. as someone in the comments said, "humans have a tendency to overlook things unless someone points them out differently" I am so sorry for the ones that didn't get this luxury but also makes me feel very grateful.
Right away, I want to make something clear: I’m not a homophobe. My sister is gay, many of my friends are gay. If anything, even though I’m straight, having gay parents made me more comfortable with people in the LGBTQ+ scene.
It never really hit me that my family was different from most others until the third grade, when the bullying started. Word spread around the class that I had two moms, and before I knew it I was being taunted for it on the playground. At this time, my relationship with my parents was still happy and loving, so I shrugged the remarks off.
When puberty hit, though, I became increasingly aware of the hole in my life where I wanted a father. Granted, my relationship with my parents was already souring at this point for a variety of other factors. Still, I yearned for a male role model, someone to talk to about “guy things.” My parents had no male friends, and only ever seemed to talk about males disparagingly. I would hear that men were inherently more violent, selfish, and unhealthy – and I began to believe them. Growing up in the environment that I did, I emerged with more feminine tendencies, and a deficit of traditional masculine attitudes. It didn’t help that I was homeschooled for the majority of middle school, leaving me without a basis for what most guys my age behaved or looked like. I didn’t have any contact with male relatives either – my parents both cut off their families from my life. I returned to public schooling for high school, but found myself intimidated by most of my straight male peers. I eventually learned to talk like them and dress like them, but I never learned to be truly comfortable around them.
To be fair, my parents were extremists, and I acknowledge that. They refused to allow my younger sister to attend sleepovers when her friends merely had fathers present, under the pretense that they might assault or even rape her. To this day, I’m still unclear where their anti-male sentiment emerged from, but they never seemed to acknowledge the effect that it might have on me, a male.
At around the age of 12, I began to understand more about the implications of my conception. My mother carried me through artificial insemination from an anonymous sperm donor. Being without a named father has put me into something of a perpetual existential crisis. I feel as though I was not even conceived out of love – I was conceived because my parents could afford to buy the necessary ingredient, some random guy’s jizz. I will... keep reading on reddit ➡
I (21f) was one of those kids who was born on Christmas Day. Which I wouldn’t have minded at all if my parents treated this normally for example my friends boyfriend was also born on Christmas and he said his parents would do his birthday in the morning and Christmas in the afternoon and I wouldn’t have minded that at all. However my parents said it was greedy to have two celebrations on one day so I had to choose between having Christmas with everyone else ( my family and extended family) or have my birthday on Boxing Day and not take part in Christmas ( I wouldn’t have any presents or the chocolates and stuff everyone else would, I wasn’t even allowed to help with the Christmas tree)
This was pretty shit, either I had Christmas with everyone and wasn’t even wished happy birthday and because we wouldn’t be at school I never got happy birthdays from my friends or I was completely left out during Christmas and had a birthday where everyone was still focused on Christmas. And if I chose birthday my parents would tell my extended family I didn’t want Christmas and if I chose Christmas they said I didn’t want my birthday so I didn’t get both from my extended family. It made my childhood absolute hell and ruined holidays for me. My first Christmas/ birthday away from home was probably the best day of my life.
Well cuz of Covid my family were talking about doing a zoom call for Christmas and my mum said “ well I guess op gets to chose to be part of the Christmas call or we call her on Boxing Day for her birthday “ I don’t know why but I just blew up and called her an asshole and said they ruined my childhood.
It’s not like they couldn’t afford it my family is probably in the top 1% of the country money wise and even so I could’ve still taken part in festivities and only had one present. But my brothers are calling me selfish and my auntie says I need to apologise. And it’s Christmas so I feel like I should.
OH MY GOD. THANK YOU EVERYONE SO MUCH!! I went to bed last night and woke up to about a million notifications. I’m sorry but I don’t think I can get through everyone but I’m definitely trying to!! I’ve had the best birthday/Christmas!! My best friend got me a Nintendo switch!! And we’re going to have a huge gaming competition together and we got leftovers of kfc for lunch!! Thank you all so much for the birthday and Christmas wishes I feel so honoured ! I love you all!!!
I have absolutely no clue what to do about this and I need help. Yes, this is as gross as it sounds. My parents go to bed pretty early, at least compared to me. The issue is that our house is kinda creaky and sound travels pretty easily. Whether I’m downstairs, in my room, or in some other area of the house, it’s pretty easy to hear the insistent creaking of the bed and floorboards and the awkward grunts and moans. It’s not like they have it every night, and sometimes not even every week, but I think it’s making me go crazy. My brother has to be able to hear it too, so we’re both suffering through this. Hearing your parents somewhat loudly bang is about the second most awkward thing in the world. The most awkward thing however, would be telling them I can and to quiet down. I have absolutely no idea how, or if I even should, go about telling them. Part of me thinks that it’s not even worth telling because it’s not like they can stop floorboards from creaking. The other part of me would pay and sum of money to never hear them do it again. Please give me advice on if I should tell them. If you think I should, please tell me how I should. It just feels like there’s no right answer here, so I need some other opinions.
I (19M) have an autistic brother (20M). He’s fairly manipulative because he realized pretty quickly that the threat of a meltdown would get him his way every single time. He is considered high functioning by medical personnel, but he’s got my parents convinced he just doesn’t understand what he’s doing, and they don’t ever punish him. Doctors have told them that he understands and that he knows what he’s doing. They think they know better. They also expect me to revolve my entire life around him. I was never able to do anything I wanted because it upset his routine. I wanted to play a sport, nope his routine. I wanted to get a job? Nope, his routine. Friends? Yeah forget about that. I tried not to be resentful, but I am.
The problem: My parents are flipping out because I plan to move several states away and in with my grandparents soon to attend school. They keep trying to guilt me into staying because of my brother. I usually just say that I’m sorry that they feel that way, but I’m still going. Well here’s where I might be the asshole. My mother was going on and on about how the world doesn’t revolve around me and how I was being really selfish and how I was going to ruin my brother by doing this. How they’d always been the best parents they could be to both of us and we both got equal attention.
I got frustrated and told her that she was delusional if she thought she or my father were ever good parents to me. They made my life revolve around my brothers, I had nothing of my own, he had to be the center of everything. I said He wasn’t the center of the universe even though she tried to make him it. I told her that the only people who were selfish were her and my father because they actively ignored me in favor of babying my brother who played them like a fiddle to make sure he always got his way. I told her that his routine was not my problem, that it was up to them to make the appropriate adjustments, and asked if she really thought I’d just not live my life because of him?
She started crying and I walked off and shut myself in my room. My father is demanding an apology for what I said, but I’m refusing. My grandpa said he’s proud that I stood up for myself, but my parents are still demanding an apology for being an asshole. I don’t think I need to give them one. AITA here?
I F33 am a nurse and I been crazy busy lately. So busy that I'd spend two consecutive days at the hospital. I covered shifts during weekends/holidays for this year. We're not doing well financially and I've only been working for a few months and we have debts to pay for on time.
I'm exhausted all the time. I don't get to sleep much. My husband's parents are a.w.a.r.e of my work nature but still acted upset I didn't go shop for their gifts earlier. They did receive gifts from me and I made sure everyone was happy. My husband told me his mom wanted to bring the family and celebrate Christmas at our house. I politely declined and explained that I can't be serving 10+ people when I'm committed to a very demanding. Very strict schedule. My mother in law still pissed at me for this and told the family that I was using my job as an excuse since "I obviously can't even cook a decent meal let alone host a celebration". I really thought that they let another family member host Christmas dinner.
Christmas day at 2pm I got off work and went home feeling exhausted and could barely take a shower. My husband didn't leave the house and when I asked him about wether his family invited him for dinner he said no because "I ruined it" when I refused to let them come. I knew he was starting an argument I just left it at that. At 6pm the door rang and I saw his mom and dad walking in. I greeted them and brought them coffee and biscuits. They said they came to give us our gifts on behalf of the family and they stayed for over two hours. His mom started giving me looks and asking when she and her husband were going to eat dinner. I got up and decided to reheat the pizza we had from the night before and when his mom saw it she stared at me and asked if I was serious, she asked me where is Christmas dinner and was stunned that I didn't cook for the occasion. I told her I didn't cook because I wasn't expecting anyone to be invited to the house. She got upset and said that I should've cooked for the occasion REGARDLESS of wether we had guests or not because she said it's part of the "celebration" and talked about how every home had a Christmas feast. She said I had no ettiquete and that I was clearly Starving her son by not cooking even on holidays.
I got into an argument with her while my husband and his dad sat there watching. She called me disrespectful and to stop using my job as an excuse for my lack of function as a wife. Then they left. My husband said I should've taken a... keep reading on reddit ➡
Thinking about leaving your spouse/partner, or leaving the home of abusive parents? Try your best to get your hands on important personal documents like your birth certificate, passport, social security card etc... it can be very difficult to get replacements.
These documents can be targeted, they can also open the door to "having to go back" for them. Don't let anyone hold you hostage.
I 31M) recently had my cousin M21) move in with me after he got kicked out of his college dorm and had no job to pay for rent. My parents told me I needed to step up and help because I own a house, live alone with my two golden retrievers and two birds that I had since last year. My cousin would make fun of me whenever I call my pets "family" and thinks I'm crazy. He has a bad sense of humor and thinks he's funny. He calls me funny nicknames like robot/terminator/optimus prime and others because I wear a prosthetic leg that I've gotten after I had an infection *2 years ago.
I been patiant with him causing a mess and not even doing his own laundry it's been 3 months and it's too much already. So Recently he started doing pranks and using personal things in his pranks. Like clothes/my phone/stuff from the kitchen etc. I usually take off my prosthesis before going to bed and since I work all day I got to bed early unlike him he stays up til 3-4am. He decided to do a prank and hid my prosthesis somewhere.
I saw that it was gone in the morning (*he did it twice before and hid it in his room and the garage) I had enough of his bullshit I asked him where he took it and he joked and said that it was inside the fridge I was livid. I started screaming at him to stop it and to tell me where my prosthesis was before I kick him out.
He realized I was being serious and told me that it was in the attic I let him go get it and when he brought it to me he looked worried and started apologizing when I saw the socket had cracks, the adjustment pyramid and pylon were damaged. He told me he hid it under the old tv and didn't think it was this fragile. It was there overnight so the damage has already been done. I lost my shit I yelled at him while all he did was apologize saying it was just a prank "bro" which made it worse I told him to leave and called my aunt to tell her about what her son did and that she needed to pay for the damages. her reaction was shocking. she said that it was my fault because I knew how her son is and decided to take him in anyway and that she won't take responsibility for his actions. I told her I'd seriously sue because I'm broke and have no money to pay for a prosthesis and crutches are unbearable. I was so angry. I kept lashing out at everyone. Especially my mom and dad who argued with me and said that I can't sue "family" and this is my cousin and he meant no harm. I told them that he created this situation and needed to fix it. They called... keep reading on reddit ➡
I have heard so many complaints from teens who are forced to pay rent about their parents still entering their room without permission, looking through their stuff, taking their stuff and limiting use of utilities even though their parents charge them for them anyway. It really isn’t fair.
If you’re making your kids pay rent, treat their room and property like a real landlord would and anyone who doesn’t should face legal penalties.
I also believe that once kids are being charged rent, they should be free to make their own decisions, eg. Going out whenever they want or inviting friends over.
And if any of you are getting ready to comment about how they should move out if they don’t like the rules, this isn’t an option for everyone especially kids aged 14-16 who are being charged rent but aren’t old enough to live anywhere else.
So my stepsister and I became stepsisters at the age of 8. We're now 16. My dad died and her mom died and my mom married her dad. But they got married to replace our deceased parents. They wanted us to be a mom dad and two girls family. They pressured us to call our stepparent mom/dad and we really disliked it. The only good thing that came from it is we got close because we disliked our parents for doing it. And we still do. We're closer than ever to each other but we dislike my mom and her dad more than ever. Because we still don't want to call the stepparent in our lives mom or dad.
People have asked us over the years how we got so close and we tell them how we bonded.
So recently we started therapy and the therapist asked my stepsister and me why we bonded so much with each other and not with the stepparent in our lives and I told her the truth. That we bonded because her dad and my mom tried to replace our deceased parent with their spouse and we did not like it and our dislike for them brought us closer together.
My mom and her husband were so pissed off and they actually ended the session early.
I got into huge trouble.
So I (F21) and my bf (20) are getting married in March on our 1 year anniversary.
My mom had gotten a storage unit under his name that she was giving us the money for. She had apparently forgotten to give us the money one month (by a few days) and he ended up having it pulled out of his account automatically. My boyfriends parents had noticed the account withdrawal and ended up going ape shit on my bf about the money. His mom ended up sending me a bunch of really nasty texts while I was at work and when I didn’t respond, she sent my bf up to my job to make me answer.
Once I contacted my mom, she immediately sent us the money and apologized. His mom was going to apologize to me but I never called her to have the conversation due to the anxiety/left over frustration. I just feel like it’s weird that they go through all of his bank info when he’s never had any issue with spending, they also never did it with his other siblings.
I've posted this story on TwoXchromosomes and Justnofamily. I thought I'd share it here as well.
I'm a 38 year old woman. I have a great career, a loving boyfriend (31) , great pets and friends. I have never, ever wanted kids. Five years ago, I ended a relationship with a man named Jason (name changed) who, I thought wanted the same things that I did.
We had been together for 2 years in 2015. We'd travel together, read comics, play video games and do all kinds of fun things. I had always been honest with Jason that I never wanted kids. He told me he didn't either. Then, in the summer of that year, I began to notice changes in him. He would talk about how great our friends' kids are. He'd try to get me to spend time with his nephews, even though I wasn't close to them. He also began talking to my parents way more than usual.
Then one evening, he said he wanted to have dinner with my whole family. I found this a bit strange as I don't often spend time with my family. But for him, I agreed. We were having dinner, my parents and siblings (my brother and sister) were there. Then, he dropped a bomb on me.
He got down on one knee and said "I love you. I want you to be the mother of my children".
"What the actual FUCK!" was the first thing that came out of my mouth. We hadn't talked about getting married, much less kids. I never wanted kids and wasn't ready for marriage. I took him to another room and asked him what the hell he was doing. He dropped another bomb and told me he had been talking to my parents about us getting married and starting a family. Let that sink in. He talked to my parents, not me about our future. He said he had asked my dad's permission. My dad's permission, before he asked for my consent. I was furious. All this was obviously meant to pressure me into saying yes.
My mother, being nosy, walked right into the room we were in and asked what was wrong and why I had not said yes. I told her and the whole family that they needed to leave. When they left, I tore Jason a new asshole. I asked him how dare he assume that I was going to marry him and have kids with him, when I had made it very clear that I did not want those things. He told me he was hoping that I would "grow up and want something meaningful". He had the gall to act like I was the bad person in all of this. I threw him out and the following day, I ended the relationship for good.
My parents were pissed at me. My mom cried about how she had been looking forward to get... keep reading on reddit ➡
My parents are everything to me. They've worked their asses off to raise me and my two little siblings, starting with nothing as immigrants. They're in the restaurant business and the pandemic forced them to burn through a large chunk of their savings, and they stress out over finances every single day. My dad always told me one day he'll retire once the house is paid off, and that day is finally here.
I started buying BTC at the 2017 frenzy and all through out the past 3 years, and today I sold all of my 6 BTC and am closing their remaining loan balance with enough to spare for taxes + maybe a new car.
Today is the day I've dreamt of for the past several years, and it feels so surreal.
Thank you bitcoin community for all the memes and bullshit TA threads. I've reached my moon.
So this happened on Christmas night.
My (30M) wife (28F) and I are visiting my parent's house for Christmas. Earlier in the week my dad had given each child and spouse $100 each in an envelope in place of doing stockings this year. My wife put hers in a safe spot and I put mine on top of the dresser in our room. A few days later my wife was cleaning up and thought she had looked in the envelope to make sure it was empy before she threw it away. Christmas came and gone and we were packing up to leave, when I noticed I didn't pack the money and couldn't find it. We searched through pockets, bags, and the house and couldn't find it. My wife vaguely remembered tidying up and states she might had thrown the envelope away a few days ago. So I decided to go through the trash in hopes of finding it. I calculated back the days and guestimated which bag it would have been in. I donned some disposal gloves and start digging. While digging I found a box of unopened toilet bowl cleaner tablets (the kind that turn the water blue each flush).
Earlier that day it was brought up why my father refuses to use the master bathroom connected to their bedroom and instead uses a smaller hallway one. It is because my mother started using these blue toilet tablets and he can't stand the smell or sight of them. My mother's argument as to why she still uses them is because she does the cleaning of that bathroom, and that's what she likes.
Remembering my mother uses these tablets and assuming my father threw them away without her knowing I pull them out thinking it would be funny to stir the pot... Boy was I wrong. When I explained I was missing money and went through the trash I asked my mother why those toilet tablets were in the garbage and she lost it. She started yelling at my dad asking "Do I have to start going through the trash regularly again" and "what else have you thrown away?" Furious at him for throwing them away.
Apparently this has been an issue before in their marriage, that he would throw away things he doesn't like and I just caught him doing it again. I have never seen my mother that angry and yelling. After she left the kitchen where this all went down, my dad went to the trash can and took out a decorative ceramic Christmas cookie platter and said "just to be safe" as he set it back on the counter. (A plate of cookies was gifted to them on it).
As we left the next morning she was still upset at him. But on a high note we found the $100 in the trash!
Tl;dr:... keep reading on reddit ➡
Every time my dad grills hamburgers, he doesn’t season the patties at all, squeezes all the juice out of them, and then wayyyyyy overcooks them. The end result is a weird, dry, falling apart, dark gray hockey puck. I love him but his burgers are something else!
Edit: I’m glad our taste buds could die together here
I'm 15m and I have been in foster care since I was born. From what I'm told, my mom was real young and her parents made her give me up for "adoption" which realistically turned into me bouncing around foster homes my entire life. My mom wrote me a letter that I'm surprised was even given to me, explaining everything. She basically said that I was the most beautiful thing she ever laid eyes on and that she is sorry that she couldnt keep me, as her parents wouldnt allow it and that she hopes I search for her some day. Which I plan to. Her parents can go fuck themselves though because they'll never be family after putting me through this.
In 15yrs I have been in 3 orphanages and 19 foster homes. Most families give me up after receiving their first state paycheck, but few have held onto me for a few months. My last foster mom was perfect. She loved me. Like, actually loved me. Not the fake bs that normal families spew. She did everything she could possibly do to bring out the real me and she truly, truly cared. Unfortunately my beloved foster mom passed away 3 months ago from terminal cancer that I wasn't aware she had. She included me in her will, where I recieved $50k in a trust fund that I cant touch until I'm 18 and $8k of just "play cash" that I can use now.
My new foster parents arent that great. I was dropped off on their doorstep the day after my foster mom died without so much as an introduction. They showed me around the house and then just left me to my own devices and that is how it's been since I've been here. They dont speak to me. They basically ignore my existence. Now I'm not sure if my case worker told them about the money I had been given because lately my foster mom has been dropping little comments like "I really need this surgery, how can I afford it?" She isnt speaking directly to me but it seems like it occurs every single time I walk in the room. So I'm assuming my case worker blabbed. Mind you, she literally does not have conversations with me so I dont even know what the surgery is for and admittedly I dont care.
The reason I feel like an AH is because I have this money and could help her out with the surgery where she is technically helping me out by putting a roof over my head. But at the same time, I know this home will be short lived as well and in a few years I will be 18 and forget these people exist, much like they do with me now. AND I know they already get $750 a month just to have me here. AITA?
I'll spare you the gory details, but my sister-in-law is dying. She has pre teen children.
She is far and away the bread winner, and her pending death is going to have dramatic financial impact for the kids and her husband.
While her husband is a nice enough guy, and isn't a drug or alcohol abuser, he's the quintessential non-earner. He's approaching retirement age, has no education, no savings, no retirement plan, etc. He's in a $15 an hour retail job, and he's maxed out his potential earnings. I doubt he'll be able to afford to keep his car on the road, much less keep their house.
While I realize there will be some survivorship benefits going to the kids, it's not going to be nearly enough to make up the difference, and my wife and I want to do something to help. One of the things I thought of was the possibility of investing in 529 programs for them for college.
I don't want to have to ask them for SSN etc. for these children, but I also want the advantages of a 529 program. My thought is that we can "give" this to them when they are in high school, and it will alleviate some of the burden they will face in the future..
So is there a way to do this (obviously, legally)?
Edit: Wow-- this really blew up more than I expected. I need to dip out for a bit, but I've got a lot of reading to do. Thank you all! I will reply more this evening.
This is a view I have held for a while and was wondering other people’s thoughts on this?
Edit: Some people not comprehending exponential growth of religion.
My mom never really understood how children worked. She expected me to be a fully empathetic, loving, and caring person when I was a young teenager. When I would mouth off to her, instead of just punishing me, I would get sat down for long lectures about how hurtful and nasty I was. She would say over and over again that I loved to treat her poorly, that it made me feel good to hurt her feelings, and that I was nasty and horrible. The truth was actually that I was a child, I wasn't mature enough to understand how my actions impacted other people, and it was my mom's job to know that and react appropriately. My mom took all my misbehavior as a personal attack, and she didn't want me to behave because I feared punishment--she wanted me to behave because I loved her so much and didn't want to hurt her with my bad actions. I used to think I was this awful person who was incapable of behaving, but the truth is that children learn to behave because they fear consequences, not because mom gets her feelings hurt every time they misbehave.
I remember when I was 13ish, my mom was yelling at me once and started lecturing me about how I was "so selfish", that all I did was take, and that I was "using her". She said that every time we went out to dinner, she had to pay and I never even offered. Mind you I was thirteen and she was responsible for feeding me. I remember feeling so mad at her for saying that, but I didn't have the words to explain how ridiculous she was being. Now that I'm an adult and have a niece around that age, it just seems so...ridiculous that my mom would ever expect 13-year-old me to offer to pay for dinners.
And just as an aside....young children cannot "use" their parents. It's complete insanity.