I (28f) don't work Fridays, and my brother and his wife (both 34) wanted to spend a long weekend away at their beach house. So they asked me to watch their daughter (5 & 7). I've never had the girls overnight before (my parents usually take them but didn't feel safe because of covid), but they're awesome kids and I enjoy them, so I said yes. They didn't pay me anything, but we're family and do favors for each other frequently, so I wasn't expecting it.
I'm a vegan, and I've never had the girls alone for more than one consecutive meal, and I've always just fed them easy junk food like a frozen pizza or boxed mac and cheese. I asked my brother what I should feed them this time, and he said they'd be fine just eating whatever I made for myself. Okay, fair enough.
They got here Thursday evening after dinner. Friday morning, I made fruit smoothies and they were happy with that. Lunch time I made them peanut butter and jelly. Dinner is where the problems started, and predictably so imo. I made a chickpea quinoa dish and the girls absolutely would not touch it. I wasn't about the force them to eat something that looked gross to them, so we went to a McDonald's drive thru. The rest of my meals were going to be as "weird and gross" (their words lol), so the next morning, I gave them fruit smoothies for breakfast again, and then we went to the grocery store and I got chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, and frozen pizza. And that's what I fed them for the rest of the visit. The girls usually eat better than that (my brother and SIL cook almost every night), but it's not like they never get that kind of food--which I think is an important detail here.
The girls went home Sunday after dinner. I guess they told my brother they ate nothing but junk all weekend, because he called me this morning and started yelling at me about how I pumped his kids full of garbage all weekend, and now they're going to think they just get to go to McDonald's whenever they won't eat their dinner. I explained they really wouldn't eat the food I made myself, and he said I should've called him to ask what to do, or at they very least cooked them something from scratch that was healthier. I got annoyed and said I did my best, a few days of junk food won't kill his kids, and I'm not a short order chef. We argued for awhile longer until I eventually told him to find someone else to watch his kids next time, or at least prep their meals since he's so damn particular, and then I hung up.
I don... keep reading on reddit ➡
My sister and her husband both lost their jobs and as we had the space we allowed them to move in with us. They have two daughters who are both vegan.
Now, my wife and I have four children. Our two older girls are very sweet, and our boys both have autism. We essentially work our daily lives around them to make them more comfortable, as such our meal plans are relatively simple. Some of the only foods they will both eat is chicken and cheese, so every meal we eat has at least one of those components.
Of course, neither of these items are vegan. Our nieces both complain, and as we need meal time to be relatively stress free for the boys it's caused some problems.
On top of this we also have four dogs, (one family dog, one dog who is a trained autism service dog and our oldest daughter adopted two dogs at the beginning of April last year). Our oldest is doing an animal welfare course at college and plans on becoming a vet/dietician. She explained the benefits of raw food, and as such she prepares all four dogs meals in the morning, and refrigerates their evening meals. We don't force her, she chooses to do the other two dogs because she wants to get it perfect for them.
Anyway, our two nieces are complaining about never being able to eat because there's always meat around. They refuse to eat at meal times because we serve meat and dairy.
I explained that we aren't going to upturn meal plans we've had in place for years just for them, they could either deal with it or make their own food. They're both on hunger strikes, but I don't think I'm in the wrong. I offered to serve the sides (which are generally vegan) I larger portions for them, but cooking several different meals is not something I want to go back to. My sister is staying out of it and her husband is just happy he's finally getting to eat meat again.
My wife thinks I'm being harsh, but when I suggested she take over cooking she suddenly agreed with me. AITA?
I’m sorry for the bad spelling or typing this just happened not even 30 minutes ago. So I grew up poor, poor, like we survived on ramen and bread. For 3 years my dad saved up to get me a laptop and I was going to use it for college. For a while I was just using it to watch tv and such. Today my niece asked to borrow it to watch a video I said yes on the condition that she didn’t touch it, move it, or even change the channel and that if she needed to I would do it for her. Earlier in the day she asked me to help her look for a doll that wasn’t at my house and I said that it’s not there and she didn’t believe me so I told her if she truly believes it’s there then she needs to look for it herself. I didn’t think anything about it, I went to go look for my laptop about 1-2 hours after that conversation and I found it shattered like it had been stomped on. So naturally as I do I had a full panic mode meltdown. I calmed down a little bit and told her parents and they both said “she’s just a child she doesn’t know better” she’s freaking 7 going on 8 soon, she knows better. Also she’s trying to blame the dog, like a dog is going to stomp on it like wtf. So now I’m refusing to babysit until she’s older or they pay for a new laptop but they said they don’t want to pay for the laptop because it’s not their fault it’s hers and I should have known better and that I should continue babysitting. WHICH I MAY ADD I BABYSIT FOR FUCKING FREE. They are upset that I backed out of babysitting without times notice and that I won’t do it for free anymore, but I could care less
Edit 1: her parents are picking her up soon. Yes they didn’t come home as soon as I told them because they are on VaCcTiOn for my brothers wife’s birthday and refused to come back until they were done with whatever. I have the conversation with his wife here but I did a phone call with my brother so I don’t have that but it basically went the same expect it was him telling me I shouldn’t be contacting them because it’s their time away.
Edit two: For the people who are dragging my parents. My dad is upset my mother doesn’t care because she didn’t pay for it. My mother doesn’t give a shit about me. My dad is torn to shreds about this but do you really think he wants to take his son to court??! No he doesn’t and he asked me not to and I won’t less it cost to much to get my laptop fixed. Also my nieces parents are two hours away they could have been back by 9/10pm but they chose to stay the night and finish t... keep reading on reddit ➡
I'm an avid hiker/backpacker and spend a lot of my free time doing things that allow me to engage with those hobbies. Typically, I spend weeks at a time in the summer outdoors hiking, backpacking, etc. I've completed the Colorado trail twice, and have done long stretches of the Continental Divide Trail as well. I live in a little mountain town where it's a cinch to just rent out my place for those weeks.
My sister got the bright idea to tell me that she wanted to fly out her two little girls to stay with me for a few weeks over the summer. I've never met my nieces. I moved away from home when I was 18 and have not gone back to visit, and god forbid any of them visit me. When I first moved, I made an attempt to keep in touch and involve them in my life, but it wasn't reciprocated. No one ever calls me, reaches out to me first, etc.
I just bluntly told her that I'm not interested. She demanded to know why. I explained that I spend my summers going all over the place, touching down for a weekend and then heading off elsewhere.
She said that I could change my plans for one summer, and that it was time for me to get to know my nieces. What I really heard was "I've been cooped up with them for this past year due to the pandemic and now I want to make them someone else's burden. Here, you take them."
I told her that I wouldn't be changing my plans. She told me that this was my chance to make up for being a crappy member of the family and moving away, and that her girls just wanted to get to know their aunt. I asked her why she thought me getting to know my nieces was beneficial to me in any way, as in, what would meeting them do to enrich my life?
She didn't have an answer for me, and a few days later, I got a scathing email from my Mom telling me that she can't believe I have no interest in meeting my nieces or getting to know them, what kind of person did she raise, do I want to be a part of this family, etc.
I don't think I'm an asshole for this. For the record, this isn't an "I hate kids" thing. My best friend here has three kids, and the four of us go on a lot of adventures together.
I (16F) have a 8 year old niece, my sister's (28F) kid. I love her but she's a bit dense. She thinks The Muppets are real for example. I was babysitting her yesterday and she was watching Hannah Montana on Disney+ and she thought Hannah and Miley were different people. I explained that actually it's the same person but she just wears a blonde wig.
My niece started crying, and when my sister found out she went mad. She says I ruined my niece's childhood by telling her this and she says that any normal aunt wouldn't tell her the truth.
I think she's wrong but wanted to ask the sub your opinions.
I am 16M. I have a niece, 8, and a friend from school who is also 16.
I had an iPhone XR but my mom bought herself the new iPhone 12 Pro and also decided to get me one for Christmas.
I took the opportunity to give me friend a phone as he doesn’t own one because his mom cannot afford it. Up until that point he was trying to make due with an iPod 4th generation.
My aunt and uncle came over for New Years and asked me for my precious phone to give to their 8 year old daughter. When I told them I had given it to a friend they were very angry at me.
I feel like I should note here that they both have very good, secure jobs and could easily afford to buy her a phone themselves.
When I told them this as well as my friend’s financial situation, they told me that I was being an ungrateful brat and doing them a huge disservice in a time of great need.
I asked them what this time of great need was and they were unable to give me an answer. And then they went around saying that I prioritized my friends over them. Most of my family members believe I am the asshole, but I do not agree.
I'll try to keep this brief and I apologize for any mistakes in my English.
I've been raising my niece (Hannah) since since she was less than one year old. She's now 14. Her biological mother was my older sister and she was an addict. She tried to get clean, but relapsed a few months after Hannah's birth and disappeared completely after that. She died a few years later. No one in the family could take Hannah in and I didn't want her to end up in the foster system, so my girlfriend (who is now my wife) and I took her in. We're the only mothers Hannah has ever known.
When speaking directly to us, Hannah refers to us as her aunts, but I've recently noticed that she has begun to call us her mothers when talking to her friends. It's very recent. That doesn't bother us in the least, since we consider her our child. Plus, we have another daughter who is 7 and who obviously calls me and my wife "mom", so we can see why Hannah has started to do the same.
I'll be honest, I almost cried the first time I heard her say that and I've never explicitly discouraged it. My parents and other sister came over for Christmas (there are no virus cases in our area) and we invited Hannah's best friend and her parents as well, since their relatives live in another country and they had no one to spend Christmas with. My family heard Hannah refer to me as her mother and lost it.
My mother told me I was disrespecting my sister's memory and my other sister called me disgusting for trying to replace her. All of this happened in private and Hannah heard none of that, but it still broke me.
AITA for allowing Hannah to call us her mothers?
Back in 2000, I had the fortune of winning a lottery. It wasn't millions or anything, but I paid off my college loans, bought a house, and was able to be comfortable even through the recession in '08. When my niece was born three years later, I immediately loved her like my own, and decided she would have the same head start I did.
Now, my niece will be 18 next year, and I've saved enough for her college and for her to outright buy a decent sized house whenever she's ready. My living expenses have only been a few thousand a year, and my job pays very well, so I've saved most of my pay for this. This will hopefully allow for her to pay it forward to the next generation and always be comfortable.
The issue is my wife. We've been married 8 years, together 13. We've had multiple talks, and have agreed to keep our finances mostly separate, mainly because she had a financially abusive relationship before we got together. We have a shared bank account for our few expenses, vacations, and buying gifts for loved ones. Otherwise, savings, retirements, everything is separate, to the point where she didn't even want me to add her name to the house. Neither of us wanted kids, so that's not an issue. I'm happy with my niece, and my wife is happy with her 3 nephews.
However, one nephew is the same age as my niece, and is freaking out about what he's going to do since he didn't get a scholarship he was hoping for since he's graduating after next semester. My wife and I were discussing it, and I asked if she had saved up anything. She was surprised by this idea, and asked what I meant. I told her what I had saved for my niece, and now she's demanding I split it. There would still be enough for her to go to the college she wants, just not buy a house.
I'm not happy with this. My wife has also had very low living expenses, and hasn't saved anything for her side of the family. I'm happy to give the kid gifts, but I want my niece to never be scared of debt or being homeless. Am I the asshole for refusing?
Edit: Quick edit to clarify some things. My wife moved in with me after 2 years of dating. Ever since then, the only expenses she's had to pay are half of utilities, half of groceries, and half of our fun money. Both of us contribute about 10-15k a year to the household depending on what our vacationing plans are, and the rest of the money is ours to do with as we want. I know she had some debt when we first got together, but she finished paying that off years ago.... keep reading on reddit ➡
I need to rant so buckle up.
This month has been so much god damn fun. Because God forbid I start off 2021 on a high note right? Backstory, I currently live in Canada while the rest of my immediate family lives in the same state/town in the United States. I am estranged from most of them except for the occasional contact with my parents, which after this I am revising whether or not that was a good decision. I work from home, I have a really great job and make enough money to live very comfortably. My family begs a lot, because since I don’t have kids I can obviously afford it right? Started with more Christmas and birthday presents than normal, to the most egregious a request of $45,000. Don’t worry I don’t give them anything, I know better. Although my family seems to think I’m the “weird, rich, lonely girl who lives in the middle of the woods.” They hate that I’m not in a relationship and won’t breed, I don’t like them. I estranged myself from them six years ago and moved to Canada five years ago. Best decision of my life.
Here we go. So about a week into the new year I get a phone call from CPS in the US from the state my family lives in. The woman on the phone was given my contact information because a relative recommended me as an emergency placement for my niece (4f). Long story short my piece of shit brother-in-law beat the crap out of his daughter and then my sister. He’s in jail pending charges and my sister is also facing charges for child abuse and neglect and there’s an investigation being done.
Well, that sure is a hell of a thing. I politely explain to the woman that I do not live in the United States but live in Canada, permanently. She’s surprise (clearly didn’t look up my area code...) and was told that I was moving back to the United States, I am not, so right then and there she said I was ineligible to take my niece because she had to remain in the state throughout the investigation. Fine by me. She ends the call but was very polite and understanding. I’m worried about my niece and sister so I send my mom a text asking what’s going on, she calls me back ten seconds later.
She’s all excited and expecting asking how the phone call went so asked her what phone call she’s referring to. She asks if CPS had contacted me yet, oh there it is, now I know who gave out my phone number. I relay the conversation I had with CPS and boy is she unhappy. She starts asking why I didn’t accept, what’s wrong with me, why am I being such a brat, never m... keep reading on reddit ➡
I NEVER GAVE ANY NEWS AGENCY TO REPORT ON THIS OR WRITE ARTICLES. SHAME ON MSM AND COURTNEY POCHIN FOR EXPLOITING MY WIFE'S DEATH FOR CLICKS. ABSOLUTELY HEINOUS.
My older brother and sister in law are due with their first baby in the next few months. We're an Indian family and they plan to name their child for my deceased wife, Aanal. Obviously, I completely feel for my SIL but I ended up saying that a name like Aanal wouldn't work well in a country like America because of obvious reasons and the risk of mispronunciations. It's a fine name in India and it's beautiful (it means fire) but their daughter would just get mercifully bullied in America.
The issue is that they don't live in India, they live in the wealthiest part of Dallas, Texas, they have the money and the plans to send their daughter to an expensive private Christian school, and their neighborhood is majority white, blonde, and wealthy. They're already the only Indian family and they don't want to and don't plan to ever move from their area.
I have an American name, I was called Aaron at school and Aadith at home. I got called A-A-Ron plenty of times throughout school and I don't want my little niece to grow up and start being bullied, A-A-Ron was annoying to me, A-A-A-Nal is a million times worse. I'm an immigrant and when I'd go back to India in the summers, I went by Aadith and when I was in the USA for the rest of the year, I was Aaron. I had more opportunities and I was able to respect my heritage. I was named for my grandpa and I love him and he loves me, I have a name that I love to have, it's his name.
I suggested that my older brother and my sister in law have the baby, give her an Americanized name like Annabelle, Anna, or Anjali, and give her the name Aanal when they go back to India or see family, call her that at home, but give her a western name on her American documents because Aanal isn't a name that's immediately thought of as good in America and it won't give her as many opportunities.
They got super angry at me and said that they WOULD name her that and that I didn't know what I was talking about (ironic because Aanal went by Annabeth), my sister in law said that she wouldn't speak to me again until I legitimately apologized to her and meant it sincerely and I finally told her to not come complaining to me later on in the game.
This has caused such an uproar in my family and I feel like I'm going crazy over here. Like, don't-come-to-Christmas uproar.
About three weeks ago, I was babysitting my nieces. They're 9 and 11. My sister is a big feminist (so am I) who always makes her feminism a huge part of the way she's raising her kids. Like, talk about raising her kids at all, feminism comes up.
I was playing dress up with the girls, and the older one mentioned that she thought the game was silly because "It doesn't matter what you look like, it's what's on the inside that counts."
I told her that we didn't have to play anymore, and asked her to tell me more about the "It doesn't matter what you look like" because I would like to learn. She happily told me all about how caring about your appearance is "vain" and people shouldn't care about what you wear, how much you weigh, what color your hair is, etc. That girls who are really into fashion or makeup had bad parents who should care more about making sure they're smart and do well in school.
Then she asked me why I cared about things like that because she always thought I was "too smart" for that.
Maybe this is where I fucked up, but I had to be honest with her? I told her that I care what I look like because I want to be respected by others, I want others to be attracted to me, and that no matter what we tell ourselves, society does care and does judge men and women for how we look. I tried to explain that sometimes society cares too much, but that grooming ourselves, wearing well fitting and clean clothes, etc are things we should all care about. I also said that being interested in fashion and makeup don't make anyone less intelligent, that they're both ways of expressing ourselves and can be very artsy as well.
11 year old seemed really bothered by this and told me that she couldn't believe I was "one of them" and then made a weird comment about how her mom said that's why I don't have any books.
My sister called me, furious about how I was poisoning her daughters by forcing unobtainable feminine beauty ideals on them. At no point did I say that they had to maintain a size 2 figure, shave, have long hair, spend thousands on designer clothes, etc. But she's making it out to seem like I babysat her kids and now they're destined to become Serena Vanderwoodsen.
AITA? My family sure as fuck thinks I am.
I(35F) lost my job after pandemic struck and found another working in a meat company. It was much lesser paid, more tiring and longer hours but beggars can't be choosers, I have 3 kids to raise and need a job or it would be too much for my husband to shoulder. I was going to continue to work there until I find a more suitable job because the boss of that company is quite an asshole.
Some time ago my niece(19F) was looking for a part-job and since there were vacancy in my workplace I recommended her to my superiors. My brother's family is quite wealthy, fully funding my niece's studies and living expenses and my niece only wanted a job for extra allowance.
My niece soon found out that many of us working there are not paid the standard for over-time and our workload exceeding the norm. She was disgusted by the environment and wanted to file complaint about the company to the authorities. I begged her not to, not because of my love for the company(I was going to leave eventually), but because like me, many of us there have families to feed and needed the job.
My niece ignored me and ended up making quite a big deal out of it, posting pictures, videos and long paragraphs on social media and file some reports to "fight for our rights". I have no idea if it changed anything in the company. However, as a result of this drama, the company decided to dismiss a portion of its staffs, and including me, a few other coworkers of mine had lost their jobs. They did not voice it out directly but they have been avoiding me, probably blaming me for introducing my niece to the job.
I have been avoiding my niece too because, despite her good intentions, I still lost my job. My niece had been texting me giving all sorts of reasons that what she done was for what is right. When I ignored her texts, she sent more with long paragraphs basically wanting me to acknowledge that she is right. I really don't want to put blame or argue with a someone half my age still living in comfort with her parents, so in the end I replied "I just hope that you are proud of yourself."
My brother texted me later saying that I was being unkind to his daughter, that as her aunt who witnessed workplace toxicity with her I should encourage her to continue to fight for what is right(still going on between her and the company). I may be unemployed but I am going to spend my time looking for a job instead of joining some vendetta, AITA?
First of all, the answer is going to be no. For a lot of reasons.
Basically, something happened with her government loan for last semester. Something got denied and she’s now on the hook. It’s around 11k. So she is trying to take out a private student loan and needs a co-signer. She told me it would cost me nothing and that I wouldn’t be responsible for anything. Clearly she doesn’t understand how a co-signer works. Yes, I would be on the hook if she doesn’t pay and the loan amount is applied to my debt to income ratio. My wife and I are also planning on having our first child. The last thing I need is a loan over my head for a decade or more for something I didn’t buy.
For context, my sister is divorced and both she and her ex husband have less than stellar credit. My sister said she can co-sign if I can’t, but she would prefer not to as she wants to buy a house this year.
My question is, how should I handle this? I’m absolutely saying no. But I also want her to understand why the answer is no. I want her to understand why. I still have bills, my wife’s student loans, etc. How would you guys handle this?
Hey so, For the past 5-6 months I’ve been taking my gf nieces and nephew to school every morning. At first it started off as a one time thing. Then I started doing it because I saw how tired she was when she was taking them to school but now it’s been me taking them to school almost every single day and I’m tired.
I have to be at work at 8:30 and lately I’ve been very tired. She doesn’t have to be at work til 10:30. Her sister doesn’t have a car and doesn’t drive and her sister boyfriend doesn’t have a freaking car but drives his work van everywhere.. I’m just tired of taking care of other folks kids cause at first I was just being nice but now It’s catching up to me.
My gf got mad at me when I told her all this.
TL;dr tired of takin care of other folks kids and wish I never signed up for this.
So every year for Christmas I make these special cookies for my family that our mom used to make. They’re very time consuming and a pain to make, but they’re a family favorite and my nieces and nephews especially look forward to them each year. Since everyone likes these cookies so much they get eaten up very quick, so I usually box them up individually to make sure everyone gets their share of cookies.
This year though my niece, Maddy, had to change her diet on the recommendation of her doctor. Several of the things she could no longer eat were ingredients in these cookies. I tried to make the cookies this time so they would work with her her new diet. Unfortunately I had trouble with it and was only able to get 8 successful cookies in the end.
8 cookies wasn’t enough for everyone. So I made a full batch of cookies the regular way. I packaged up all the cookies with everyone getting a box of 8 of the regular cookies and Maddy getting a box with her 8 of the special cookies.
I dropped off all the cookies at my siblings houses earlier this week. Now my sister is mad at me because the cookies made things contentious at home.
Apparently Maddy thought her special cookies didn’t taste good. I did try one of them myself and I’ll admit textually they were a bit grittier than the regular ones and a bit less sweet since I couldn’t use regular sugar, but I really didn’t think they were bad. They had a very similar flavor profile as the other cookies. But Maddy didn’t like them and was upset her siblings got the good cookies.
So my sister said they would give away all my cookies and get some other treats. Something they could all have and enjoy though. That made Maddy’s siblings upset though because they were looking forward to my cookies. They got resentful and started ignoring Maddy. So my sister gave them back their cookies and just got Maddy a different treat, but Maddy still feels excluded and is upset about not getting any of the cookies this year. Her siblings are also apparently still annoyed about the situation and they’re all not getting along.
My sister says it’s all my fault and I should have just sent them all of the special cookies. I explained how I had trouble making the special ones and was only able to make 8. My sister says I should have just not sent anyone any cookies since the special ones were clearly not exactly the same as the regular ones and it was obvious Maddy would fée left out.
Throwaway to post this.
I'll try to keep this short and sweet, apologies if it comes off as abrupt. My (28F) fiance (31M) and I are getting married in a year and half, we've reserved the ceremony and reception venues and are waiting on final numbers before we pay, so the actual changing of the date isn't a big problem in that respect.
Our wedding date is within term time in England, and my future MIL and FIL expressed deep concern and upset at this, because my fiancé's 4, will be 5, year old niece will miss some school, which we've been told is not going to happen. They also feel robbed because we're not having wedding parties, so no groomsmen, bridesmaids, or a flower girl (what they were gunning for). We did say that this is the date that we decided on a year ago, we've told the 40 people coming that this is the date so that they have time to get the funds to come to the wedding (his family is minted, mine are not). It's in Eastern Europe so the flights and "living" costs are pretty good, so everyone has said that they're excited to come, just waiting to send out the invitations until we come out of current restrictions.
They've asked us to change the date to either the week off that kids get in May, or in the summer holidays. There are a couple of issues; my family is not well off, and the prices for flights and accommodation more than double outside of term time so it would be more of a burden for them than it would be for fiancé's family. Secondly, my PhD confirmation is in the May week off and can only be extended (hella paperwork, plus stressing during the wedding time) as is my cousin's Master's thesis deadline. We also said that the wedding itself isn't the most kid-friendly, hence no other children coming, since it'll be a long, hot day, and the reception is on the water front. If fiancé's sister is happy to bring though, then great! This is also why we're having a big party in England the month after our glorified elopement - so all the kids in the extended family and friends can come, and we can still have our dream wedding that we've genuinely been excitedly discussing for like, 4 years. I thought this would be the best of both worlds - we get our small, sunny, pizza and beer wedding, but we can have a bigger, less formal party for everyone!
My fiancé thinks we should just change the date and my family will just have to make it work. I'm less keen because as someone who hasn't known financial struggle at all, he doesn't fully understand... keep reading on reddit ➡
I thought I’d write out an update now that the situation has been resolved as a thank-you to Reddit.
Thanks to everyone on the last post knocking some sense into me, I gave them equal Christmas gifts. I decided to give Jessica the dress when she got her A-Level results (it has just been decided that her year won’t be taking exams but she still has a Results Day so I think it will be fine.) I sent Jane her £25 gift card, Jessica a pair of £21 earrings, and some slippers for both.
Many commenters pointed out that Jane had rejected spending time with me during her teenage years which are typically very turbulent and that doesn’t mean that we can’t have an adult relationship. However, Jane was very upset with me still as her mother had told her about the dress, so my plan was to let things blow over and then try and reach out to her again. She remained understandably hurt leading up to the Christmas period and unfortunately ended up lashing out at Jessica.
She commented something unkind on an Instagram post and Jessica naturally retaliated, especially as she was confused as to what her cousin was talking about. It turned into a messy online fight and many of Jessica’s friends came to her defence, quite cruelly in some cases, at which point I got a phone call from Mary about how her daughter was being bullied because of me. I messaged Jane to check that she was okay and to ask her to remember that she was angry at me and not Jessica, but she didn’t read it.
Jane eventually sent a proper apology to Jessica and I believe that Jane received apologies from some of Jessica’s friends. However, they were both naturally very upset about the unkind messages they received and Jessica was aware that Jane only apologised after their parents spoke, so it remained very tense between them. I felt awful about the fight, so messaged Jane again reiterating my previous apology. I explained to Jessica that Jane had caught wind that she was receiving a pricier gift this year (as she was obviously very confused) and apologised to her too. Jessica said thank you but it was Jane’s choice to be nasty online and not mine, Jane ignored my message again.
I’m on good terms with both of my brothers (Jessica’s dad, who generally has very little patience wi... keep reading on reddit ➡
Long time lurker, first time poster.
I have an older sister and three niblings. My niece is 4 and my nephews are almost 2yrs and 5mo. I love them and I love being auntie <3
BUT. Kids are well kids. And they fuck up stuff sometimes. I’m a crafter and have a bunch of crafting supplies. I had to move back to my parents house a couple months ago cause my apartment complex was messed up in the hurricane(s). I was only there about six weeks but it felt like a lifetime lol. My parents babysit my niblings a ton so I saw them a lot.
Long story short, my niece got into some of my craft supplies while I was at work one day. She ended up using my fabric scissors on some card stock that had paint and marker all over it. My measuring tape was also a paint covered casualty, and a couple unopened patterns had been opened and ripped and the packages had been colored on. Obviously this is dangerous (this scissors are big and sharp) and I’m glad she was unharmed. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little miffed. My mom said she was distracted by my nephews and hadn’t thought my niece was up to anything. I get it but I was still upset a little.
My sister said she’d replace my stuff as soon as she could. It wasn’t a rush but she took a while. This was Oct btw. I ended up buying some scissors myself.
Sis gave me a gift bag last I saw her and said it was my Xmas gift. Inside was a premade beginner sewing kit like you’d get from Joanns. It had scissors, a measuring tape, a pin cushion and pins. They weren’t horrible quality or anything.
I told her thanks but let her know id already bought scissors and asked if I could have the receipt so I could exchange it out. She was huffy and said I KNEW she was getting me sewing stuff and I had told her it was fine to take time. I was like yeah but it’s been almost two months you know? She said I ruined my “gift” and I told her that replacing something that had been messed up by one of her kids isn’t a “gift”. She was even angrier at that and really passive aggressively emailed me the receipt yesterdday and said I was a Scrooge.
I don’t care about xmas gifts for myself but I don’t think it’s fair to frame something you owe someone as a gift? Like if you owed someone money and gave it to them in a Birthday card and said “that’s your bday gift” that’d be shitty? And idk why she expected me to wait that long too. Am I wrong tho?
I have a really good relationship with my brother and SIL. They have a daughter who is 2 years old who they are starting to potty train. I have a 6 year old who has severe medical issues and is still in diapers as a result. He will never not be in diapers. They recently mentioned that Emma (my niece) will be out of diapers soon in front of him and he went home and cried all night long. He’s devastated and just truly doesn’t understand why he can’t be out of diapers. It’s harder because he’s school age and sees kids at school too and gets made fun of for it.
I want to ask my brother and SIL to not mention it in front of him anymore but don’t want them to feel like they can’t talk to me about it. I don’t know if I’m being completely unreasonable or not and I don’t want them to feel bad that they made him feel bad. I don’t know if I should just try to talk to my son, to them, or to both. WIBTA if I asked them to not mention potty training her around him again?
Edit-my son is in therapy and has been for 2 years. As any of us who have been in therapy know though, it’s not a cure all. It helps him but he is still more than entitled to his bad feelings when he needs to have them. He is learning coping skills but it doesn’t mean there aren’t bad days.
I (27f) have two sons. My oldest is 6 and my youngest is 2. My sister (31f) has two daughters ages 9 and 7. Up until a year and a half ago we lived in different states. Then she moved back and I started spending some more time with my nieces and it was horrible.
1st time: Took all the kids to McDonald's and the oldest threw a fit because she didn't get the toy she wanted. She was yelling and saying I needed to buy her another meal to get her the toy. She tantrumed all the way back to my sisters house. During this the youngest kept throwing food too and wouldn't stop when told to.
2nd time: My sister and I took the kids to the zoo. The youngest spat in my oldest's ice cream because he got the last of the flavor she wanted. My sister made very little deal out of it and shrugged it off. The oldest told my oldest that's the reason you give them what they want.
3rd time: Was going shopping, sister asked me to take the girls for the afternoon because things came up, had them in the car and they both threw a fit because they didn't want to go grocery shopping and then they kept kicking the cart when I was going around. The youngest tried to break something so we would be made leave. I stepped in to discipline many times and got told I was not their mom and they didn't have to listen to me. I ended up dropping them back with their dad.
4th time: Brought all four kids to the park and they didn't want to stay because they thought we were going to a water park. They did everything they could to ruin my oldest having fun and then when I pulled them back and said if they couldn't play nice or entertain themselves, which I tried to get them to do, they would run in different directions and yell. So we left after less than half an hour.
Final time: They were at my house so my sister and her husband could have a date night. They wouldn't eat the food I prepared (nuggets and fries) because they wanted pizza. They didn't want apple pie they wanted chocolate cake for dessert. They were spitting in everyone else's food and throwing it on the floor. I got the same attitude when giving discipline and they started yelling when they weren't getting their way. This lasted all night. They wouldn't go to bed. Didn't sleep. Woke both my kids up.
Each time I sat and spoke to my sister and she seemed to take it seriously, especially after I pointed it out after the zoo incident, and then the last time she shrugged it off as kids will be kids. And I told her if that's how they beh... keep reading on reddit ➡
My niece, Emily, has been in a relationship with an older man [55M] for over two years now. I’ve met him a few times and though I was really suspicious of him/their relationship at first, he seems like a genuinely good guy and I think he makes her very happy.
I’m usually the person in the family that hosts Christmas, as I’m the only one with a large enough house. Most of our family lives 2+ hours away, so it’s common that everyone or at least some people spend the night when we do so, including Emily.
This year is a bit different and we’re not all getting together at once, but I haven’t seen Emily in over a year and she and her boyfriend have been quarantined for 10 days now and I asked if she would want to come over when she got out, as it would be safe to see her then. She agreed.
Today she sent me a text asking if it would be alright if she and her boyfriend stayed the night when they come. I was surprised she asked this because her boyfriend had never come for Christmas before. I haven’t responded yet, because I want to say no, but feel like I might be an AH and damage our relationship.
My reasoning: I have two kids, 13F and 11M. I don’t want to normalize age gap relationships for them. I don’t want them to see my young niece going to bed with a man twice her age. They’ve met him twice before, but I told them he was a friend of hers. If he’s staying at our house in the same bed as her, they’ll obviously know they’re a couple. I also don’t want the kids to see any PDA from them. It seems like a dangerous example.
My sister (Emily’s mom) [53F] told me I’d be TA because our parents have a 10 year age difference and are very affectionate with each other, so the kids have already been exposed to age differences. However, Emily’s relationship feels different to me given the 28-year age difference.
WIBTA if I told her no?
Update: I called Emily to discuss my hesitation and, as many of you suggested, it did damage my relationship with her. She stayed calm, but she gave me a long list of reasons why I was in the wrong. She made some valid points: they’ve been together 2.5 years, it was evident they loved and respected each other, and she was a grown woman perfectly capable of consent. She said that, amongst the relationships in the family, hers is probably the most loving and respectful, that they were both bright and successful (she’s a PhD student at a top university and he’s a CIO with a PhD) and generous people, and well-traveled and cultured (... keep reading on reddit ➡
I (f22) am pregnant with my second child. I didn’t do a gender reveal with my first so I want to do it with my second. My sister (f26) has one daughter, she will be 1 in December. She had to cancel her birthday party due to covid but planned on doing a small dinner instead.
Last week, I got my appointment for when we find out my babies gender. It falls on the same day as my nieces birthday/dinner. I didn’t do a gender reveal with my first so I want to do one with this baby, but I don’t want to wait. I plan on having the doctor put the gender in an envelope, giving that to my boyfriends sister, and she will bake a cake according to what’s in the envelope that evening for a reveal. I want to do it that day so we don’t have to wait.
When my sister found out, she was pissed and said I should just wait for the next day but I don’t see why she should have rights over that specific day. She said our family would have to choose where to go but I don’t get why that’s bothering her, I won’t be offended if people choose to go to my nieces birthday instead of my baby’s gender reveal. My mom suggested we do the birthday dinner and gender reveal cake for dessert but she wouldn’t go for it. She didn’t want to share my nieces special day (insert eye roll). My niece won’t even remember but she isn’t budging. Her husband sent me some sob story about how she really wanted to have a party because they’ve been through a lot with my nieces first year being during covid but my own daughter is 3 and it wasn’t easy having her or being pregnant during covid for me either. Aita or is she being ridiculous?
I(20) am the type who prefer to live in my own world most of the times unless working or asked to be social and usually spend my weekends alone in my room with doors and windows closed, headphone over head and either watch drama or play games. I live with my parents and sister(23), who is a single mother(for now that is, complicated) of a 2 year old.
I woke up at 1pm on Sunday after binging a series of movies the previous night, cleaned myself, ate something and went back to my room. At around 4pm my sister stormed into my room and screamed at me. I was confused at first but then understood that she had left my niece in the house and I was supposed to babysit her.
I don't mind babysitting but as, but I didn't remember her telling me anything about babysitting the previous day. She told me to check my phone and there it was - a text previous night from her telling me that she would be out next morning and asked me to feed and look after my niece till afternoon, I missed it. I honestly did not know that the baby was in the house and assumed that nobody was home. My niece had been hungry and must have been crying for a very long time(though I did not hear anything), soiled herself and was rather miserable.
My sister kept yelling at me till she got into tears, calling me unreliable, useless, waste of space and some vulgarities etc, which might be true but I don't really care. I responded that she should also be ashamed of herself for leaving her baby to someone as unreliable as me without even bothering to confirm that I have received her message. She as the mother and primary caretaker, not me and if anything she is the one neglecting her child. My sister cried harder, left my room and hasn't talk to me since.
For the peace of the family my parents have been urging me to apologize to my sister for being harsh on my words and pushing blame to her. I can apologize if that is what they wanted, but I doubt she would forgive me. I think I was just stating the truth though, AITA?
Edit for clarity
I do have a job, study and pay (lower than market) rent and do chors too, just that I don't like human interaction in general so when not required to be social I prefer to be alone reading, listening to music, watching drama or gaming.
I don't remember hearing my niece crying that day. It could be me my headphones canceling out her sound or that when she wasn't crying anymore when I came out. It could also be me being completely oblivious, can't deny that possi... keep reading on reddit ➡
I have a college fund set up for my 16 year old niece, which currently has about $60k in it. My sister (her mom) was visiting the house yesterday with my niece.
At one point I was feeding Jupiter, who is my dog. My niece started interrogating me when she saw the bag of dog food and noticed that it was vegan. I do in fact feed him vegan dog food with the full blessing of the veterinarian, and under the supervision of a veterinary nutritionist. My sister then joined in on this interrogation, so I just asked them both to leave.
I went upstairs while they were gathering their things. When I looked out the window, I noticed that they grabbed Jupiter and were about to drive off with him! I immediately dashed downstairs and out the door, stopping them in time before they went off. I managed to get Jupiter back, and they were both screaming at me about how I don't "deserve" him.
As a result of this incident, I have decided to revoke my niece's college fund, informing them of this fact this morning. I then received a very long and unhinged barrage of texts from my sister, telling me that she is going to sue me for all of the money in the college fund despite the fact that there was never any contract.
This is a throwaway account and I am on phone.
I (35 F) am a mother of my two children both 16 and my sister's first husband had two sons and a daughter from a previous relationship that my sister adopted after his death and she has two daughters from her current husband.
Now, my mother recently had developed some heart conditions that seem to be getting severe day by day. So she decided to make a will and everything.
My mother has a lot of funds in the bank from different investments which she decided to divide equally into all her grandchildren (including my sister's adopted children) for college funds and even in her will my step neice and nephews received the same share as my children.
Now I don't believe they are entitled to my mother's property as they are not a part of the family at all. My sister loved them and therefore adopted them which has nothing to with our family history or ancestry so why should they recieve a share in the will plus a college funds.
I have no problem my sister's biological children receiving anything, they are entitled to have a part in her grandmother's property.
When I shared my opinion with the family everyone got pissed at me. My sister no longer wishes to be in contact with me and my mom is pissed at me for even thinking that they are not part of the family well the truth is they are not.
AITA for not wanting them to be in the will?
Mine (M23) and my fiancee's (F22) wedding is this month. Wedding planning has been literally a nightmare. Her mom keeps stomping boundaries and changes any plans we come up with to have a "decent" wedding and not let me "ruin" it and embarrass her.
Her mom thinks I'm a kid she calls me "son" and it's so annoying and inappropriate. My fiancee is the youngest in the family and I'm the youngest son in law in the family that's why I got this nickname.
Anyways. My fiancee and I already discussed and decided to have my 9 year old sister be the flower girl. She has mild cerebral palsy but she's functioning and does good at school. She's had people make comments about her and she's very sensitive so she'd get upset because of these inconsiderate people's comments.
My sister's is on cloud nine ever since she was told she will be the flower girl. She got her dress and so far she's tried it on more than 5 times asking me when I'm going to have the wedding which is sweet. Thing is My fiancee came to tell me last week that we will be making changes in terms of menu/invitation cards because her mom recommended other things instead of what we agreed on. According to her mom I have no idea what a "good decent wedding" look like and wanted to save us (herself) from "embarrassment".
I let it go. And didn't say anything. Because my fiancee told me these are small issues and that I needed to go with the flow. Okay no problem but to suggest that we picked the "wrong" girl to be the flower girl was the straw that broke the camel's back. She actually said she wasn't sure how my sister will behave at the wedding and that we shouldn't take chance and just pick her niece instead.
I told her no not gonna happen. Like I gave my parents and my sister my word. no way I'm going to make her upset and sad and let the niece take her place. My fiancee threw a fit and said I was overreacting. That my sister still gets to wear her dress but sit with the crowd instead of walking down the aisle. We been arguing over this the whole week and I'm now supposed to call her and say okay but I refused and I'm standing my ground and wanting my sister to be the flower girl despite what others say because this offends me and my family.
EDIT: People say that we can have more than one flower girl but my mother in law doesn't think my sister should even be included as one. She wants her sitting like a guest the whole time thinking she might "misbehave" where in fact my sister isn't like that at all.... keep reading on reddit ➡
My brother and his girlfriend had a baby girl two months ago. I didn’t visit her in the hospital due to the restrictions but I quickly found out that they named her Celexa. One google search will tell you that is the name of an antidepressant medication. I don’t understand the thought process behind choosing that name but I really cannot stand it and I laugh whenever someone in my family refers to her. I decided to just call her Lexa and when my brother’s girlfriend asked me why I never call her Celexa, I told her the truth - that it’s the name of a medication and now apparently I’ve got her upset because she’s worried that people are gonna bully their daughter. Nobody in my family seems to be on my side so now i’m wondering if it was a mistake to point it out.