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... keep reading on reddit β‘My late wife passed away about a year ago. We were together 10 years but not married until she became sick about a year before that. She has a daughter Beth who is 19 years old. Beth is taking college classes but they are 100% online so she has stayed at βhomeβ which is my house. Iβve owned this before my wife moved in so it was never technically shared.
Iβve wanted to be supportive of Beth but donβt want her here indefinitely or until sheβs done with college. Thatβs 3 more years and it makes dating super awkward. I had a lady friend over after a dinner date last week and she was snarky towards her and later told me Iβm moving on too fast. I tried to have an honest talk about being ready to move on and date others but she kept calling me an asshole. Im just ready to move on with my life but her presence is making that difficult.
I told her I want her to move out at the end of this next semester which would be the end of May, so 5 full months to find a place. She flipped out and told me Iβm abandoning her βto get laidβ. This isnβt really the case I just want to move on to my life and donβt want to live with a 19 year old any longer. Sheβs still mad at me and is making living in my own home awkward. But she claims she canβt afford to go anywhere else.
Edit: I did not raise or adopt Beth. My wife was VERY clear that she was not looking for a replacement father for her. Beth never lived with me until 2 years ago when she was almost 18 when her mom moved in with me due to her being sick and needing more attention. I never played a fatherly role in her life.
Before moving in She and her mom moved every few years for a while. Beth didnβt move in til her senior year of high school because her mom needed my help. Obviously couldnβt move the mom in without the daughter.
Before giving her notice to leave tried to have a talk about ground rules for staying here mostly including being polite to any guests of mine. She then went off on me for moving on with my life. That is when I made my decision.
It wasnβt exactly your βtraditionalβ marriage. Before getting sick my late wife never wanted to get married because her parents had such a nasty one and her parents have been divorced a combined 4 times. Iβm not religious so never felt a need to get married either. When she got sick we realized her insurance was terrible while mine through work is much better. So it was a practical decision to get married so she could be added to mine. Even then, she affirmed I wa
... keep reading on reddit β‘Original post here https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/khvmzl/aita_for_making_my_late_wifes_daughter_move_out/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
My post got a lot of attention and there have been some developments so I thought people might be interested. I accept some blame in the situation but there were also a lot of details I didnβt have room for.
Since this post, Beth and I had some long conversations about the near future. Beth was mad for a couple days but yesterday came to talk to me and told me she realizes Iβve done a lot for her and wanted to thank me but also acknowledged itβs probably best for both of us to move on. She also recognized I have a right to move on at my own pace and apologized for lashing out at me.
One of her best friends is looking to get her own place as well so they will be looking into getting an apartment together, either by this summer or sooner. While weβre not religious, as a holiday gift I told her I will pay her entire security deposit when she finds her place. Not entirely sure if we will keep in touch much after she moves out but Iβm glad weβve come to an agreement that will allow both of us to move on without resentment towards each other.
Thought some people might be interested due to the passionate responses I got.
This evening my husband 42M and I 40F got into an argument with our 17 year old son. He told us at dinner that he needs our signatures to drop out of school. We know that he has been struggling since remote learning started last year. We have worked closely with his school to develop an IEP and he goes to therapy three times per week. His school has implemented everything that his therapist recommended including reduced assignments, more time on tests and frequent breaks during lectures. I have even cut my hours down to part-time at work so that I can be home to help him when needed.
He told us that if we won't sign the paperwork that as soon as he turns 18 in May, he will sign the forms himself and drop out. My husband asked what plans he had if he were to drop out such as work, living situation and transportation and he said he was going to stay here so he wouldn't have to worry about any of that. We both told him that if he dropped out of school that he would not be leaving here, that he would have six months in which he would need to find a job, a place to live and his own transportation to get back and forth from work. We told him that if he is going to make the adult decision to discontinue his education that he would need to be able to support himself, because we would not be doing that.
My husband (a mason) knows several people who are looking for apprentices in HVAC and as an electrician but our son says he doesn't want to do that kind of work. He says he wants to make his living as an influencer because he can't work for other people.
We told our son that our decision stands, that at this time he has three choices; graduate and get a job/go to college, graduate and work a trade or leave.
Our son called us both "stupid assholes" and told us "we don't understand that he doesn't want to work like dad."
AITA for telling our son that if he drops out of school he has six months to move out?
Hi guys. Me (15f) and my brother (17m) lost our mom 8 years ago. Our dad remarried six months after her death. We both found it really hard to come to terms with and I'll admit we have been very cold and sometimes mean because of it. Our dad just moved on and he expected us to move on after six months. It's been a pretty shitty few years for us. And earlier this year our dad decided we all needed family therapy and so we ended up there... and my brother doesn't want to talk. He sits and says nothing the whole time but the therapist a few weeks ago (back in early October) asked me if I was willing to talk and so I did.
I said my brother and I were angry our dad remarried after six months. That he and his wife thought six month was enough for us to come to terms with our moms loss and be ready for someone new living with us and trying to parent us. I said the fact they never saw anything wrong with it made us dislike them both and that the reason neither of us bonded with the new members of our family was we were still really angry and hurt about it and no matter how long has since passed, it doesn't erase what happened. I also said it was insulting to us that they thought she would be our new mom and that we would love her the same especially after the way they made everything happened when they moved so fast.
My dad asked if I loved my stepmom now and I said no. My brother didn't answer the question.
He then asked why we were still holding onto it after so long. I told him because he might have needed to move fast for him but he did so at our expense and that was not something we could just forget about or get over like it didn't matter.
Things have been tense since. My brother is grounded for not opening up and I was grounded for being rude. The therapist knows all this and has asked if we wanted to do individual sessions but our dad's wife said no. Then my dad said we're doing it as a family so we can be a family.
AITA?
Just adding some notes here because some things were asked multiple times.
My mom's death was sudden (car accident).
I am pretty sure there was no affair but I can't say for sure. We believe they met at work after my mom died (my dad went back a week after she died and a couple of days after that he mentioned a new co-worker). We found them in bed together a month after my mom died. We think it was a ONS. That then became more because a month later she was introduced to us as his girlfriend and she was unemployed and he mentioned
... keep reading on reddit β‘Original Post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/i7wkqu/i_30f_caught_my_husband_31m_in_an_affair_and_i/
First of all, I just want to thank everyone here for the support I received following my first post back in August. At the time, it truly felt like my world was ending. It was important to me to make this update because I need to tell anyone whoβs currently going through the same thingβIT GETS BETTER. You will get so much better.
I had one conversation with my husband since everything happenedβby his choice. It lasted maybe five minutes and was like talking to a robot. I know from others that he cries to people about how he ruined his life, but I have never once gotten an apology or the same show of regret. At this point, I donβt care. I know him and the other woman are still seeing each other and frankly, they deserve each other. Good for them.
While I still feel angry occasionally, I no longer mourn what I once had. Instead, Iβm so excited for the life I now get to live. I moved to a small walkable city and gave myself my dream apartment. It makes me so happy to see how Iβve decorated it and to just live in a cozy place instead of our old dreary house. I was the breadwinner in our marriage, and he would make me feel awful about wanting to pay for nice meals or do fun things. Since moving here, Iβve done a ton of foodie fun stuff and donβt feel guilty. Itβs so refreshing.
I have dipped my toe into the dating pool again and had plenty of mediocre dates from dating apps. Recently, I found someone who Iβve really clicked with and am enjoying how appreciated and desired heβs made me feel. Itβs definitely early and weβre moving slow, but overall, dating has made me realize that Iβm a catch who doesnβt have to settle.
Therapy has done wonders and Iβm so happy I immediately dove into it. My therapist is proud of me. Iβm proud of me. Iβve stopped looking at being divorced as a failure. He failedβnot me. Iβm genuinely happy and excited to wake up each morning and no longer feel like this terrible weight is sitting on my chest. The holidays were surprisingly easy and I found myself so happy to spend time with my family without having to compromise anything.
So all in all, life is good and thereβs so much of it ahead. Looking back, I canβt believe I wasted so much time thinking about how I could get him to come home. Iβve made my own home and my own happiness and that is worth so so much more.
TLDR; Husband left me for another woman. H
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