Did you get the shot? Can I close my mouth now?
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πŸ“°︎ r/gifs
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IchHuhn
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
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Douche Bag Gets Punched in the Mouth for Coughing on a Woman in an Elevator v.redd.it/s0hyurqh0n561
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πŸ“°︎ r/PublicFreakout
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BillyManHansJr
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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From the mouth of a child...
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πŸ“°︎ r/MadeMeSmile
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vincethewillnill
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
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Charming mouth
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πŸ“°︎ r/creepy
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rineki
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
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I drew Marzia. I'm 13 years old and I struggled a lot with the mouth. Time Taken: 2 hours
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Untitl3dGhost16
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
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Every Damm sentence that comes out of his mouth is just wholesome
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πŸ“°︎ r/wholesomememes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vinoooodh
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
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πŸ“°︎ r/TikTokCringe
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πŸ‘€︎ u/migoodenuf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
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I (19m) ruined a perfectly good threesome with my roommate (25m) and his fianceΓ© (25f) just by opening my damn mouth

Last night I (19m) had my first threesome. Two guys and one girl. Guy #2 (25) was my roommate and the girl (25) was his fianceΓ©. The two of them approached me with the idea for a MFM threesome and pitched it as a win win situation for all of us. On one hand they'll get to explore their kinky side with someone they trust and on the other hand I get to lose my virginity in the company of two experienced people who know me. Not gonna lie, awkwardly losing my virginity in front of two people, especially two people who are my friends, one of which who lives with me, made my asthma flair up. But they ended up making me feel comfortable enough to agree to it.

Fast forward to my roommate and I cumming all over his fianceΓ©. She was face down / ass up on the bed. Butt cheeks covered in nut juice. Without thinking I licked all that cum off her ass. Mine as well as my roommate's. I flipped her over and kissed her before swallowing the load. She licked my lips when we were done kissing which kinda turned me on all over again. My roommate pretended like he was gonna throw up and joked about how gross that was. I pretended like I was gonna kiss him too and he literally ran out of the bedroom lol. It was all fun and games. Or so I thought.

This morning my roommate called me gay for being so willing to not only swallow my own cum, but also his cum. His entire attitude was different now. According to him, the only reason he played it so cool at the time was because his fianceΓ© seemed to enjoy it. He said both of us behaved inappropriately by kissing each other in a way that made it impossible for him to participate. I apologized and made it clear that my intention was never to make anyone feel uncomfortable or left out. He said he won't hold it against me because it was my first time, but advised me never to do that again because it's not really something straight guys do. I asked him if we're cool and all he said was he can no longer look at me the same way knowing I had his cum in my mouth.

  1. Did I cross the line?

  2. Is swallowing cum somehow not for straight guys?

Edit:

Never expected this post to attract so much attention! I appreciate all the advice and the praise, but it wouldn't be fair if I didn't point out how much I learned from my roommate and his fianceΓ© during the threesome. I wasn't the sex machine some of you seem to think I was nor was my roommate a complete asshole. I had my fair share of performance anxiety throughout, but my roommate and his

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“°︎ r/sex
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomedOrgasm
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Dear Diary... It's me, Alyssa Edwards, and Santino Rice will you shut the fuck up with your no-drag-knowledge mouth | Tuesday Edition - January 19, 2021

Use this post to discuss whatever you want! Future dream casts, trying your stand up career, crying shenanigans about this season's robbed cinnamon bun... it all goes here. Just remember to be civil and keep opinions here and not in the speculation threads. Thank you!


Tea Checkers:


Submit a title for an upcoming Dear Diary thread by clicking here!

Today's title was brought to you by u/Bucear !

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πŸ“°︎ r/SpoiledDragRace
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AutoModerator
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This is the inside of a sea turtle's mouth - they're anti-barfing spikes.
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πŸ“°︎ r/natureismetal
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StrangeBedfellows
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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Smart mouth for a Celt
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πŸ“°︎ r/HistoryMemes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Liegnacious
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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This PokΓ©mon merch that's literally a Gengar whose mouth you're supposed to sleep inside of
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πŸ“°︎ r/ATBGE
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twiddle_mega
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
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When your mouth writes a check your ass can't cash. v.redd.it/01a2x8bu4kc61
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πŸ“°︎ r/fightporn
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vanillarice242
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
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Notice how true star wars fans took the EU decanonization in stride, while Sequel trilogy fans are foaming at the mouth at the same possibility

Look, in truth, I am a movie guy first and foremost, I grew up going to see the prequels in theaters and had the OT on VHS. I didn't get into the EU until the middle of the 00s, decanonization was to be announced a few years after that. When it happened, I was like oh well and continued to read and absorb the content. Now instead of one linear universe, star wars simply became like other western comics, with multiple versions of familiar stories, and diverse adventures written by many different authors.

When I say decanonize the sequels, I am simply saying strip them of their Episode 7-8-9, you can leave the titles as is, just remove them from the episodic continuity. They act like doing that will cause them to disappear from existence. How fragile is your own Fandom if you can't handle 3 pieces of media changing distinction? We had an entire universe moved away. Yet people didn't stop talking about Revan, or the mando Civil wars, or the yuuzhan vong, or Luke's new family, etc. You see where I'm going?

They can't even move past the mando point in time because everyone knows what's coming next and nobody wants it. Decanonize and try again disney, you'll only endear yourself to fans, it's a win win.

MEGA-EDIT: To smooth things over and clarify ive decided to re-do my edit (like how disney should re do the sequels hehe) when I say "true" I do not intend for it to be a gate keeping word. I was trying to say that true fans stuck to what they liked regardless of whether it went to legends or if it stayed canon.

To my EU peeps who are still salty about the decanonization, may the force be with you.

As for sequel fans, like what you like, if it becomes decanonized, then feel free to own your Fandom and continue to purchase the merchandise and support the JJ-RJ-KK trilogy

I can admit my wording probably wasn't the best when this was first posted but I hope that clears it up. I have spoken.

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πŸ“°︎ r/saltierthancrait
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boomerangrunner
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
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[Highlight] *BLOOD WARNING* Kawhi Leonard gets clipped in the mouth by Ibaka and spills blood streamable.com/wml03k
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πŸ“°︎ r/nba
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fbreaker
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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Just pulled this chip out of the bag. Pretty much annihilated my mouth but oh so satisfying.
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πŸ“°︎ r/oddlysatisfying
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MissKay24
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
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This is an Armadillo Lizard (Ouroborus cataphractus). It has sharp armor-like features along their bodies. When it feels threatened, it bites its tail into its mouth and curls into a ball to protect its vulnerable underside. It gives birth to live ones instead of laying eggs.
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πŸ“°︎ r/Awwducational
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SunCloud-777
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
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Another fucking road rant. If you’re being passed and you speed up to prevent merging you are a mega ultra cunt and I sincerely hope a dog shits in your mouth when you sleep.

Just went up Kaikoura and back.

As per title had a bit of a pucker moment when the texting fucker sped up from 80 (all over the road, 60~90kmh) to 120 when I tried to pass him

Also so many fucktards with boats going 40 in the curves and 120 in the straights. Every boat tower we came across had 5+ cars behind them.

We are honestly such a bunch of assholes

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πŸ“°︎ r/newzealand
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tehgerbil
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
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This Flower Cat Mouth Thing
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πŸ“°︎ r/ATBGE
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExpertAccident
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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Lip sync is completely busted. Half the time, character's mouths stay closed during dialogue, and it's ruining cutscenes.

I don't know if anyone at Ubisoft is browsing this subreddit, but this is extremely agitating. I think the most recent patch completely broke lip sync and turned everyone into a ventriloquist.

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πŸ“°︎ r/assassinscreed
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deroni76
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
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How Nick Kroll Became the Picasso of Puberty: His show β€œBig Mouth” is a seriously funny β€” and surprisingly mature β€” exploration of humanity’s most horrifying shared experience. nytimes.com/2020/12/03/ma…
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πŸ“°︎ r/television
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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This is a carnivorous nudibranch of the genus Melibe. The entire head forms an expansive mouth, which inflates to smother its prey and then contracts scooping prey in with its probing teeth-like cirri.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HerbziKal
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
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Thanks, I hate mouth holes in face mask
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ALEXROY10000
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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Missing most of his teeth and they still somehow don’t fit in his tiny mouth!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pizza_bones14
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
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AITA For telling my cousin to mind her own business and keep her mouth shut

I (24M) am dating an older woman (32F). We've been together for almost 2 years and we get along great. We moved in together shortly after Covid hit because it made more sense than living apart, and our relationship has only grown stronger as we take each logical next step. We've discussed marriage and kids and agree on a lot of what we want out of our lives. Simply put, I love her and she loves me.

However, I have a few family members who have been quite vocal about not approving of our relationship. For starters, my GF is a different religion than my family and that's been a big hurdle for them. They also don't agree with any relationship where the woman is older than the man. They are the kind of people that give traditional and conservative thinkers a bad name. One of the more vocal of this group is my cousin (35F). She has a lot of very traditional views on marriage and relationships. She thinks the man should always be older and be the main provider for the family and that the woman should pretty much solely exist to be a mother. The irony is that my cousin divorced 2 years ago even though that is frowned upon in our religion and the family is almost 100% sure that my cousin is at fault.

I was on a video call with my mom the other day and my cousin and her mom were visiting my parents. My cousin started asking questions about my relationship that started out harmless. "How are you getting along? How is living together?" But then got more intrusive. "Any talk of marriage? How many kids do you both want? Is she willing to give up her career to be a mom?"

I tried to deflect the questions as best I could while staying polite, but then she said "I still think it's not right that you are so much younger than her. She must have something wrong with her if she couldn't find an older man to provide for her." That was when I snapped.

I told her that she needs to keep her mouth shut and mind her own business. I told her that when she got divorced no one questioned her and everyone offered only support and help. I told her that no one asked questions about why her marriage ended even though we all had our suspicions. I ended by saying that maybe she should look inward and find out what's wrong with her instead of judging other people's relationships because she doesn't really have a leg to stand on to give advice.

My mom, aunt, and cousin were all just standing there with their jaws open when I finished. Then my cousin walked away crying and my aunt and mom

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“°︎ r/AmItheAsshole
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
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TIFU by not keeping my mouth shut at the dentist

Several years ago I moved and had to find a new dentist. I had 4 cavities I’d been putting off for a while, so the dentist agreed to fill them all at once. The appointment was scheduled for 2 hours, later in the day, after work.

I normally snack on a granola bar every day at work. The store was out of my regular kind, so I’d bought some chocolate banana bars. They were DELICIOUS. I couldn’t help myself, and I ended up eating the entire box.

On my way to the dentist, my stomach was very unhappy. I was extremely bloated. The gas came quickly, and I spent the entire drive pushing out what I could, windows down, sweating. I was getting nervous as I parked, hoping it would stop. That’s when I read the box.

They were FIBER BARS.

But it was too late. The hygienist got me set up in the chair, put the nose piece on for the nitrous, and said she’d be right back. I took that as my final fart break and let loose. The smell was so bad I smelled it IMMEDIATELY, even with the nose piece on. The hygienist came back and did a full stop at the doorway before hesitantly proceeding.

Over the next two hours, I emitted a steady stream of toxic waste. I mean two straight hours of hot silent farts. The dentist seemed weirdly unbothered, but the hygienist excused herself several times. Towards the end, she told him β€œI’m sorry, I just... I can’t” and didn’t come back. He did the fillings while holding the suction hose himself for most of it.

I was so mortified that I didn’t go back there for over a year. When I finally did, I was hoping they’d forgotten. But as soon as I walked in, the hygienist (who also functions as a receptionist) knew my name. I figured she remembered me due to my horrific gas leak, so I apologized. Turns out she didn’t remember the incident, she remembered me because I drool like a Saint Bernard (this is true, it runs down my face, it gets everywhere). She laughed, I died a little inside.

I really like that dentist, so I decided to leave him a good review on Google. It basically summarized what happened and said they were very professional about it.

At my next visit, my dentist mentioned it immediately, laughing about it. He told me he has no sense of smell. He had no idea it even happened. The hygienist had blamed her leaving on a medical issue or something, and didn’t rat me out.

I should have just kept my mouth shut.

TLDR: Ate a whole box of fiber bars before a long dentist appointment, leaked hot farts the entire time, didn’t go back for a while,

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“°︎ r/tifu
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnalAboutFissures
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
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Too Much Mouth calling out ABH for claiming cool undertones prevent your skin from getting oily
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thebijou
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
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Megaladon mouth compared to 10 foot great white shark
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pcyis
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
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A man giving mouth to mouth to someone who has been electricuted - "the kiss of life"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/THECUTEKITTYCAT
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth today...

Now when I talk I have this weird axe scent.

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πŸ“°︎ r/Jokes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bangbusta
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
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JJ you wanted something in your mouth lmao v.redd.it/1mmjgyr665961
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πŸ“°︎ r/ksi
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DELETED_fool
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
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An orca with a dolphin in its mouth
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πŸ“°︎ r/natureismetal
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xenophorm12
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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Crazy Karen doesn’t like that I smoke cigars, in my own vehicle, tries to grab one out of mouth, gets what she deserves

People have lost that last bit of sanity during these troubling times. Ok, so as the title states, I smoke cigars. Mostly cheap factory rejects, but an occasional good one too. I do not smoke in my house, or around other people as I know a very select group of people enjoy that particular aroma. Other point to note here: I drive my youngest to and from school which is less than a mile away, seeing as the weather in my neck of the woods is bipolar at best.

So setting: Yesterday afternoon, I’m parked way outside school zone in a line to pick up kids, probably a block away in a residential neighborhood. I drive a big truck with a loud exhaust system.

Players: Me is me, Karen is K, school principal is P

I’m in the line of vehicles, engine off, listening to a good book on audible, smoking the last bit of a good cigar. For those who don’t know, a cigar can be set down and refreshed if need be. Also, I never smoke on school grounds, and always have it out before my kid gets in the truck. It’s my truck and no one else drives it, so I don’t mind the smell of tobacco and I have a bottle of febreeze that I use every couple of days.

Anyway, about 5 minutes later, I see a woman get out of her car and begin to approach me. I watched her walk up past the two vehicles behind me and head my way. She’s got the typical Karen looks, hair, clothes, waaaay too much makeup and the like. She comes up right on my window and just stands there looking at me.

I rolled my window down all the way and asked her if she needed anything. Dialog as follows:

K: what the hell do you think you’re doing???

Me: excuse me?

K: you’re smoking the pot (yes, she called it β€œthe pot”...) on school grounds! You should be ashamed of yourself!

Me: what in the blue fuck are you talking about?

K: I can see it in your hand and smell it!

Me: well obviously you can’t smell it because this is a cigar...

K: I don’t think so! I’m calling the police!

Me: knock yourself out, you dumb bitch...

After her brain short circuits from being called a bitch, she tried to open my door, which was locked, then she reached in my window and tried to grab the cigar out of my mouth.

Now, life has taught us all from a very young age that fire is hot and things that burn from fire are also hot, but physics never seems to be on forefront of these morons. So she immediately burned her hand on the cigar and jumped back screaming that I did that on purpose.

I started laughing because it was funny. She then tried the do

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“°︎ r/EntitledPeople
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pennywise1235
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
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From Men’s Mouths to Your Ears. Don’t be a forever girlfriend.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MarbleWorld
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
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ELI5: why is it necessary to wipe the skin with an alcohol wipe when receiving any type of injection or having blood drawn but it isn’t necessary for a shot in the mouth?

Edit: I know why an alcohol wipe is/was necessary when I asked this question. I just used it as a comparison to get across the meaning of the second part of my question. I was just wondering about the mouth injection and thought I’d ask it here. This was actually the first thing I’ve ever posted on Reddit and I didn’t expect such a huge response. Thank you all.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tralep65
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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A fat sausage with a mouth at one end and chubby baby arms
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πŸ“°︎ r/BrandNewSentence
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dylanpidge
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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my friends put their cameras on discord that everytime they speak the cat opens his mouth and they don't want to tell me how to do that so does anybody know how to do this?
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πŸ“°︎ r/discordapp
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maznivhooshim
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
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My take on an ancient Jaw Titan. I based the mouth off of several extinct fish species
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πŸ“°︎ r/titanfolk
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Foolizard
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
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Rick and Morty mouth emoji by me
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πŸ“°︎ r/rickandmorty
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πŸ‘€︎ u/miraclem
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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She can't even close her mouth. v.redd.it/14mlskh3zsb61
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πŸ“°︎ r/Botchedsurgeries
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coffee2813
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
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Thanks, I hate mouth shoe
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πŸ“°︎ r/TIHI
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SillyNoodle7
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
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So my dentist told me not to put anything in my mouth for the next couple of hours after a procedure and I told him where’s the fun in that.

He did not appreciate the joke. Meanwhile my entire mouth is numb and I could probably fit a fist in there. πŸ˜‘

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πŸ“°︎ r/askgaybros
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πŸ‘€︎ u/steadytheresailor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
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Thanks, I hate no mouth slurp v.redd.it/ozy0wjzascc61
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πŸ“°︎ r/TIHI
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SassyConner
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
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LET'S TALK: when artists bad-mouth other artists, like when Lou Reed called the Beatles "garbage"

I was watching a video about what some artists were saying about the Beatles. Amid all of the overwhelming flattery and praise was Lou Reed's comment that stuck out like a sore thumb. He calls the Beatles "garbage", saying that he never liked them. And that Lennon never did "anything" until his solo career. He eventually points out one song he likes by Lennon called "Mother" (good song, for sure, but to my ears, less impressive than prime Beatles stuff). Beatles fans in the comments were outraged.

With Lou Reed's case, it almost seems "on brand" for him to hate on the Beatles, as they were contemporaries, but seemingly made music with different sounds and intentions for commercial appeal (although I've heard many times that Lou Reed actually wanted to make hits a la Sunday Morning and that Cale was a major driving force behind their weirdness). While I find his comments interesting and generally inoffensive, I just thing he's wrong and unnecessarily harsh. It's hard for me to listen to songs like Eleanor Rigby, Day in the Life etc. and hear "garbage". On the contrary, it sounds beautiful. At the very least, catchy and fun.

So I'm curious: what do you think when artists mouth of on other artists? What is the intention? I know it depends on particular scenarios, but should we just take it at face value that they just don't like that music, or is there more? Jealousy? Pretentiousness? Anger? Resentment?

Also, there are some artists who seem to put down other people's music A LOT. Lou Reed here, Thom Yorke used to do this a lot, the Gallagher brothers, Morrissey oftentimes etc. Who are some others? I find the negatively kind of pointless. You don't like it... that's totally fine. But some seem to want to make a point out of it.

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πŸ“°︎ r/LetsTalkMusic
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GenSurgKidA
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
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Can I Speak To A Manager? *foaming at mouth*
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flashlight237
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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Me whenever Dag opens his mouth.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SunbakedGeoduck
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
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Catholic priest starts a fight in a supermarket when asked to cover with mouth with a mask v.redd.it/f2qzndzsfb861
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ“°︎ r/PublicFreakout
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_phet
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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For depressed people, walking around with a mouth covering is a nice way to not have to worry about forcing smiles when you really don't want to.
πŸ‘︎ 90k
πŸ“°︎ r/Showerthoughts
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wazurobi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth

Now when I talk I have a weird axe scent

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ“°︎ r/dadjokes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sweet_nut_nectar
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
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