Mother In Law

I'm a 25 year old female, and I'm blind. The whole idea of having kids scares me, and I honestly don't want any; and my fiance is also fine with this decision.

Before Christmas my fiance and I went to see his mother, and aside from my parents they are the only other people we visit in person. While we were there, the subject of children came up; which is usual for his mom.

She actually naggs us about having kids quite a bit especially after we got engaged. While we were talking she asked me when I was going to have her a baby, I told her I didn't know because I don't want kids.

Just like everyone else I've told this to, she tells me I don't mean that. then says I have to have her a grand baby. This of corse made my blood boil, and I planely told her that if she wanted a baby so badly she could adopt one.

The'n my fiance spoke up and told her that we'd probably be more willing to have kids if people didn't nag us about it. Then I asked her if I had "baby farm" tattooed on my forehead. She says yes because I'm a woman and that's what I'm suppose to do.

She doesn't care that I'm blind, and having a child would be a struggle for me, she just wants me to pump her out a grand child. Am I the asshole?

Since I have known her (7 years at least) my mother in law has had a habit/tradition of saying "cha cha cha" between line of happy birthday during any family members birthday song. She is the only one that does it and I believe she looks at it as "her special thing" that she does during birthdays. The thing is that I really don't like it. Not only is it annoying, but it takes the attention away from the birthday person and onto her every time she says "cha cha cha". I put up with it because I am only one of many at these celebrations, and its a fleeting moment that goes by relatively quickly.

So...my daughter is almost 3 months old and is 9 months away from celebrating her first birthday. I am currently overcome to an obsessive degree with anxiety over the impending "cha cha cha" I know that I and my family are going to be subjected to on my daughters first birthday...and all following ones. My MIL a sensitive person who may not always respond to critique or comment in a rationale way, so I am afraid if i told her to stop the "cha cha cha's" specifically for my daughters birthdays, she would take it as an affront to her. That being said, I don't think I can stand the "cha cha cha" during my daughters special day, which is about her, not my MIL or her "cha cha cha". I feel compelled to say something.

WIBTA if i did?

When my (34f) father passed away 6 years ago, we were very well off, so my mom, brothers (29, 26) and I ended up inheriting a lot. My brothers live abroad and didn't want the hassle of dealing with the properties so they signed their shares over to me. After discussing with them, I sold off all the properties except for a 1 BHK in an area that is at the outskirts of the city. That apartment was being occupied by a long time employee of our family business and we let them live there for free. With my money and some of the "family money" I bought 2 flats (3 bed, 3 bath) in a really nice building. It's got amazing security, a gym, a terrace garden and a swimming pool and is in a really nice location. I took one flat and my mom lives in the other. We are really close to our mom and she's a super chill lady who has been the best mom we could have asked for. Our dad was very controlling and made her miserable so we are determined to do whatever we can to really let her enjoy her life now.

Now the issue- my husband (36) and I have been married for 3 years. He moved into my flat because his parents and brother live in a 2 br flat and we would have no space. Plus my MIL is not a fan of how I'm not subservient to my husband and am independent and run my own business, so we felt the space would be better. Now 2 things have happened. My BIL (38) has gotten engaged and our long time employee has retired and is moving back to his hometown, which means that his flat is going to be empty. I guess husband mentioned it to my BIL who is now saying that I should move my mother into the 1 br and let them (FIL,MIL, BIL and FSIL) move into my mother's flat. I refused. At most, I could probably let BIL move into the 1 br flat, but he doesn't want it because it's so far away from the city.

Well, my MIL and BIL didn't like that I said no so they went behind my back and asked my mom if she would move. My mom is a sweet lady and she didn't want me to have issues with the in-laws so she told me that she would be okay with moving. I was fuming mad and I told my brothers and they agreed that they would not want my mom to move. I was going to politely tell them no, but when they came over, I heard my MIL and BIL tell me husband that he was "not a man" and how could he not support his family. That I was a controlling bitch and my mom was just a widow and didn't need much in life any way. She should be grieving and not enjoying luxuries. I lost my shit and yelled at them to keep their

My husband and I are both pretty responsible self sufficient people, and if either of us ever forgets something or makes a mistake we take responsibility for it ourselves instead of blaming the other person for not reminding us.

That is something that's really important to me in a relationship because when I was younger, I had a string of relationships where I started feeling more like my boyfriend's mom than equal. Like falling into the roles of reminding them to keep up with their studies, getting them up out of bed in the morning for work, reminding them of their social commitments, keeping track of their vehicle maintenance schedule, picking up the slack with household chores, etc.

It's so refreshing to have a relationship where my husband is like "if I sleep in its my own damn fault", or "if I don't have clean undies because I didn't put them in the laundry basket ... I don't have clean undies" a husband who takes responsibility for his own share of the household chores and his own social calendar.

And he also finds it refreshing to have a relationship dynamic where I never bother him about stuff that he has handled, I trust him to have his shit together, and don't nag. He'd much rather deal with the annoyance of having to call a locksmith once a year than the annoyance of his girl asking him daily "did you remember your keys?"

And I feel a lot less burdened, not having the expectation to take on that extra mental load. It might sound cold but it works for us and it has made our relationship a lot happier and healthier.

The trouble is when we go to visit his mom, his mom is very much the more overbearing type and I feel like she expects me to do the same. She's always asking me to do stuff like ...

Remind him that he's got to pick up gifts for a friend's birthday

Make sure he wears his warm gloves and hat when going outside to do yard chores

Remind him to add air to the car tires

Make sure he has all his things before we leave after visiting.

It's kinda stressful because that is very much not our dynamic. I told her that a while ago, kinda gently saying "he's a big boy, I'm sure he'll get his hat if he's cold" or "Oh, I don't really keep track of where he puts his things, I'm sure he can find them / remember to get them if they matter to him"

And she's taken that kinda badly and made some passive agressive comments about how a relationship should be a partnership, how I'm coming across as selfish, etc. Stuff that makes me feel like she

My F38 son 9 has a medical condition. We're struggling so much trying to do everything we can to help him deal and cope with his condition. It's been difficult enough without my mother in law getting involved and making decisions without talking to me and my husband first. She'd completely disregard our fears and concerns as parents and claim we don't know what's best for her grandson by trying to control doctors appointments/arguing with doctors. Criticizing and telling them how to do their job/ bringing medication that her friend doctor prescribed without even diagnosing my son.

She'd get mad if we don't comply and do what she tells us. Her latest stunt was showing up at my son's appointment and making a scene resulting in me and my husband going no contact and changing the clinic by having my son's medical file transformed to another clinic.

My mother in law was removed from any emergency contact we had before and we made it clear to the new doctor to not share our son's medical information. My mother in law kept trying to find out what clinic/which doctor our son goes to and she tried to guilty tip my husband and also get the family to pressure us into letting her know. No one realized the negative affect she had on my son's health and progress and the family kept calling me awful and resentful because she's just worried for her grandson.

Last week. I found out that my mother in law was at the clinic and was speaking to my son's pediatrician about my son's condition. My husband told me his mom called and told him she was talking to the doctor discussing our son's condition. He told me he didn't want to speak to his mom but she called to let him know that she has a right to take part in her grandson's care and that we shouldn't try to hide things from her since she eventually was able to find out.

I was livid. I was so angry I went to talk to the doctor about the conversation she had with my mother in law and the fact that she disclosed medical information after being told several times that this would cause us plenty of issues because of my mother in law's behavior. Mother in law is already trying to get involved and I just couldn't take it. I reported the doctor and filled an HIPAA complaint.

I was told to back off but I couldn't take this massive lack of professionalism on the doctor's part and the fact that now I'm having to deal with my mother in law's attempts to control the situation.

My mother in law spread the news about the doctor and th

I'm in a very happy marriage, with just one tiny issue... my husband's mother is very, as he would put it, "Asian." She didn't initially take too kindly to me for being white. Years later she's a lot better, but now that we're expecting she's gotten very involved in our lives and it's starting to drive me nuts. She really wants to come help after the baby comes. Her first offer was to raise the baby herself for a few years. It took a bit of back and forth but we managed to put our foot down to say that we wanted to raise our baby ourselves. The next offer has been to come move in with us and help with cooking and cleaning and the like for 6 months to a year after.

Although it certainly would be nice to have more help with cooking and cleaning, she hates dogs and we have two, her main hobby is standing in the kitchen and singing very loudly, she tends to barge in on us at random intervals throughout the night to ask for random things, she only communicates with my husband in commands, nothing you do is ever good enough for her, and my biggest and strangest gripe is she really wants to cook for us all the time after the baby comes - but she's not the best cook and accidentally hits me with foods I'm allergic to (although to her credit - she's trying really really really hard to not do this and this is mostly a problem with not being able to read English labels at the grocery store). My husband's biggest gripe is the singing, both him and his father will frequently crack and leave the house when it starts to go on for four hours.

We're trying to negotiate with her so that she still feels useful and she can see the baby, but she was very insulted over Christmas when we suggested we get her a separate apartment instead of staying in our condo for the first 6 months to a year after the baby comes and I've been told by everyone in my immediate family that isn't my husband that I'm being selfish and that I should just let her move in and help because we'll need it. But I'm just not sure I can handle both her and the baby. So... am I the asshole here? I'm trying my best to do damage control and find a good solution, but man is this tough!

She is a miserable, lazy, extremely selfish, useless sack of crap. She never does anything for anyone else unless it benefits her in some way. She stayed over for a few nights, and the wife asked me to cook dinner to help her out because she was working late. So I did, and on her food I sprinkled the contents of my pedi egg. If you don’t know what that is it’s an egg shaped cheese grater thing for removing dead and dried skin from your feet. And the best bit is she loved it and had two more servings, and she asked me for the recipe. I told her it was my own secret recipe with homemade herbs and spices.

So I had a baby in September. She’s the first grandchild on either side so obviously everyone is all over her. We’ll call my baby Daisy

Both my parents and my in laws gave us different outfits for thanksgiving at different times. My parents gave me a little onesie and a overall dress with a turkey on it. It was pretty cute.

My mother in law on the other hand gave us a onesie and a pair of pants, and the onesie said “I’m here because moms turkey got stuffed.” (I actually got rid of it because that’s gross)

We decided to split thanksgiving between the houses (everyone quarantined beforehand, tested negative, etc) and my mother in law immediately saw that Daisy wasn’t wearing the shirt she bought, and asked what had happened. I tried to dodge the question because I don’t want to cause a tense situation, but my mother in law kept badgering me about it, not even wanting to hold Daisy because she wasn’t wearing her outfit.

Thanksgiving lunch was really tense and when we left, my mother in law texted me and said it was very rude that Daisy wasn’t wearing the outfit she bought her and demanded to know why. I finally told her it was because I didn’t want to put my 2 month old in a shirt that had a sexual innuendo on it, and looking back at photos of her first holiday, I didn’t want that outfit involved. She called me a killjoy and rude so I just left her on read.

I feel like I’m the asshole because i could have just humored her for an hour and not have documented the outfit and that it was a gift.

My fiancé says he supported not putting Daisy in the outfit, and that it made him feel gross too.

Am I the asshole?

Edit: I realize I called him my fiancé in the post, but we got married last month. I’m just not used to saying husband yet. Just to clarify if i call him the 2 interchangeably. It’s an adjustment

I hate leaving my baby but Mother in law wants alone time for a few hours a week with her which I agreed to finally because my husband said we can use the time to go on a date and keep our marriage good. I leave expressed milk. My mother in law says things in baby voice to my 3 month baby

“Soon you’ll be staying over the night here” “Your first word will be big mumma” (aka her) “I wont let you nap like mum does” “I don’t want you to leave, I want to keep you forever as my own” Is all that weird or just “baby talk” and normal? I can’t help but get so (internally) worked up! She says silly things all the time. But she keeps saying how baby will stay the night there soon but I would never leave my baby overnight. I don’t want to say anything to her yet but if she asked me directly I would say no. I can’t help but despise this woman and I don’t know why.

I don’t want to hate my daughters grandmother, or take away babysitting from her but I can’t stand seeing her hold my baby either, she dominates her like she’s her own child. She always says silly things so I shouldn’t take everything so seriously or literally. Is it best to stop sweating the small stuff? How do I do that?

I wish I was coming back to say everything went great and MIL was considerate and respectful and stayed away, but she wouldn’t be a JNMIL then would she.

The tools I learned in therapy and the hills I chose to die on meant nothing. I’m feeling super defeated and I just can’t help it.

The day before Christmas Eve was when I told MIL we wouldn’t be participating in Christmas as planned because we were unwilling to put our daughter and ourselves at risk. She had minimal response and I thought, wow she actually gets it or it was begrudging acceptance but either way I’ll take it.

Christmas Eve comes and DH had gotten all this stuff to mimic our usual Christmas Eve celebrations but just the two of us. It was so sweet and I was actually looking forward to the evening.

Mid afternoon I get a txt from MIL all cheery and shit saying she’s planning her Christmas Day schedule so what time will she be coming over to visit the baby? I was home alone just the baby and I but I still looked around after I read this txt and said what the fuck, out loud, as if this is some sort of joke someone is playing on me. I thought to myself, ok, interesting tactic - she’s just going to pretend I never told her we wouldn’t be around her. I forwarded the txt to DH and asked him to respond.

When he got home I could tell he wasn’t in a great mood. I wait for him to bring up how he handled it. He said he called her and it didn’t go well. DH is typically super assertive and doesn’t give a crap about hurting his moms feelings or really anyone else’s if something needs to be said. He’s kicked her out of our house before quite easily for overstaying her welcome and it doesn’t even phase him. So for him to be upset after a convo with her means something.

He said she freaked when he told her she wasn’t coming over. He reminded her that I had already said that and she tried to claim that I was talking about going to their family dinner we usually go to, even though that was never even a plan for Christmas Day for us, I told her we weren’t leaving the house. He told her he was really upset that she is choosing to go right back to work and she came up with this crazy response about how she only went in for a few hours because her boss had a dying family member. I won’t say if that’s a lie or not but when she txted me she was going back to work the next day she said she hadn’t talked to her boss yet, sooooo. She asked if she could come in the driveway...it’s like a monsoon so no and also

I (28F) just had my first child in September. It’s been an adjustment with Covid, but we are doing as well as to be expected. However, something is really draining the joy away from this special bonding time with my child. My mother-in-law is upset with my husband and I over the middle name we have chosen for our daughter. She is offended, hurt and can’t let it go.

The chosen middle name, “Anne”, happens to be an homage to my own grandmother. When we announced to the MIL in May that we were calling our baby girl “Fiona Anne”, she got immediately upset. Anne was the name of someone in her past who she was deeply hurt and betrayed by, and I guess she still holds onto that grudge. She said she would be just as hurt if we went along with our plan to include Anne in our daughters name. At the time I was very pregnant and pissed off and sassy, and I pretty much told her she’d have to get over it, and be excited for new context to be added to the name. And that was that... until my daughter was born.

Now she will not talk to us. She has blocked my number. When I try to text her baby pictures, they are never “delivered”. She has been talking to people close to us about how hurt she is. She will not directly address this with us, but we have heard from my brother and sister in laws that my MIL is beside herself over this. She thinks I chose the name on purpose as some kind of a power move, or slight to her, which is just not true. All I wanted was to include my grandmothers name in my daughters name because that’s always been important to me.

AITA for picking a name for my child that my MIL told me would hurt her feelings??

Edit: “evil Anne” was in fact my MILs own evil MIL (my husbands grandmother on his fathers side). They had a huge falling out following a messy divorce 25 years ago. However, my husband has no contact with that side of the family and no memories of “evil Anne” due to estrangement and the fact that they live an ocean away. So to him, Anne didn’t strike a bad chord. He barely knew about this deep resentment for his grandmother until we brought up the name in the spring.

Edit 2: For those asking what exactly the exchange in the spring was like, this is the answer I gave to someone in the comments below:

I said that she’d have to get over it because my grandmother who I had a great relationships name was Anne and it’s kind of a tradition in my family. To give more background, I am across the country from my own family (they live on the east co

I have been TTC baby #1 since May 2020. My mother-in-law is lovely and wonderful and supportive but she is one of those very spiritual, holistic types who loves energy and power crystals and that kind of thing (not that there is anything wrong with that, it's just not my cup of tea) Anyway, she was giving me advice on how to conceive and she told me that all I needed to do was stand naked outside under a full moon while my husband stood behind me and massaged my breasts. She said that the full moon would pull the egg out of my ovary just like how it pulls the tides of the ocean. At this point, I'm willing to try anything but it was really had to keep a straight face during that conversation!

I (28F) and my fiancé (28m) have been together 9 years, since sophomore year of college, engaged since October 2019. My future MIL (54f) has 3 sons, of which my fiancé is the oldest. She is very much into being matriarch and hates the idea of her little babies growing up and moving on with their lives. She cried for days when me and fiancé (then boyfriend) moved into an apartment together after graduating college and asked fiancé if I forced him to do it.

I was never invited to my future in laws home for Thanksgiving or Christmas because that was “for family only.” My fiancé threw down to have me invited in 2019 after we got engaged. I was excluded from photos because those were “for family only” and I was “only a fiancé not a wife.” My future brother in law’s girlfriend still gets the same treatment.

MIL recently caught wind (from fiancé) of my plans to go wedding dress shopping with my mom, sister, and cousin. She assumed she was invited and called me to ask what day and time. I said oh no it will just be me, mom, sister, and cousin. She was clearly upset and asked why can’t I come. I said oh it’s for family only, I am sure you understand. She sputtered something about having to go and hung up.

She later whined to fiancé about how I was being mean excluding her from his experience since she has no daughters. Fiancé and his brother with a girlfriend thought it was hilarious (as did the girlfriend) and love that I turned the tables on her in a way she can’t protest against without being a marked as a hypocrite. Fiancé’s youngest brother things I’m being mean to her for no reason and I should be considerate of the fact she has no daughters and let her share this experience.

I don’t want her there because I want to enjoy with the loved ones and I frankly don’t want to include someone in an experience like that who made a point of excluding me.

So Reddit, AITA?

Edit: Wow thanks so much for the support everyone. To answer some questions, the first two years we dated I had no desire in going to the in laws for the holidays, third year was my senior year in college and the first time my fiancé wanted me to come, she said no but hey we didn’t fight it. Subsequent years fiancé was getting more and more worked up but I told him not to rock the boat. I am very level headed and calm and I know better than to enter into open conflict with a crazy person. He’s going to shut her down if she keeps whining.

Edit 2: Well she called my mom and asked if she cou

I’m almost 12 weeks. Just bought my first maternity top and was excited to share a bump pic with my mother-in-law (we have only told close family so far). Her response was “are you sure? I think it’s kind of early for you to be showing!” I have gained a bit of weight since getting pregnant due to the constant nausea (carbs, lack of exercise), but it’s definitely a small bump... My mom passed away, as did both my grandmas, and I have no sisters, so I was excited to share this with my MIL. Made me sad for this reason more than anything else :(

So let's start at the beginning. I start dating her son who was training to be a medical doctor. (For story purposes he was also 2 years post divorce when we met). We are super compatible. We both work at the hospital but I work in a different department as a clerk since I was reevaluating my career after spending a few years teaching overseas.

Anyway. He tells his mother about me and she immediately tells him that she doesn't care about how nice I am, I'm only a clerk and not good enough. He does not tell me this.

Fast forward 8 months into our relationship. I ask to go with my then boyfriend out of state to meet his parent for Christmas. He tells me I can't (he didn't mention still that he already asked his mom and she said no and tried again to convince him to break up with me), SO I stay behind and celebrate with my own family.

While he's gone I take a pregnancy test because I'm late and SURPRISE, I'm pregnant. I have an absolute panic attack. I'm almost 26y at the time and he's almost 30. I call him crying and scared and he's ecstatic and begs me to keep the baby.

He tells his parents and they LOSE their minds. Apparently they keep telling him that I'm being selfish and "She needs to abort the baby and DISAPPEAR, so you can marry a fellow doctor and start a REAL family". My then boyfriend tells them we aren't aborting the baby and they can just deal with it. So they invite us out to their place on the other side of the country so I can finally meet them but they insist I come at 10 weeks pregnant in the throws of morning sickness.

It was a week of hell. He mom tore me down at every turn. My education, my career, my upbringing, my WEIGHT. She even said that my now husband may as well have brought home a blow up doll.

So I'm determined to make them not hate me because I love their son. His mom keeps saying we HAVE to get married (they are NOT religious and make that very clear. They say they are but then constantly say religion doesn't really matter) before our child is born otherwise they're going to cut us out of the family. I held strong because I would never marry someone just because a kid was involved. I wanted to really think about it. That was met with non stop verbal abuse.

Then I was planning the baby shower. I asked her to send me the addresses of the females in their family so I could make sure they felt welcomed by me and apart of it regardless if they could make it or not.

She refused and said "no one will ever support this, so no"

Update..

Some of you may have seen my previous post.

TD;LR my mom (65F) often talks about my husband (34M) in a negative way. Whether it's his weight or that he is disrespectful to her. My husband has been snarky with her yes. But it comes from a place of feeling domineered in his own home. So from his side there is dislike and a lack of respect.

She made a comment implying that because of my husband.. she is very worried about me and our daughter.

(Thank you so much for reading this.)

We flew my parents down for christmas.

My mom was dominating and being very intense and it was just a disaster. My husband wasnt having any of it.

To cut a long story short

We were on our way home from the park and my mom (after I asked her to just be understanding that my toddler is tired so please dont get annoyed if she gets cranky.. because her and my dad had very annoyed faces when she had a bit of a tantrum.)

So in response to this she started having a melt down in the car on the way home. 95% about my husband and how rude he is to her and immediately after that she said "I am very worried about you and (my daughters name)!

She was emotional she was talking about my husband and it fits 100% with the context of what she was saying that she was referring to my husband.

So I just said.. Please stop it now.

And the car ride home was silent besides me directing my dad on how to get home.

My dad was driving and he said nothing. I remember the conversation and everything perfectly clearly.

Anyway we got home and I put my daughter to sleep. I told my mom this isnt working and that im going to fly them home earlier.

I also let my mom know in response to what she said in the car.. I adore my husband. And that I am very happy and I have a great life because of my husband.

She then continued about snarky comments made and and I said I'm not discussing my husband further etc etc.. and she then started sobbing because of financial problems they have.

I will leave in a comment exactly what happened that led to that comment of my mom about her being worried and why I am sure she was referring to my husband if you did not see my previous post.

Anyway, My husband left the family whatsapp group. Blocked their numbers.

A couple days later I sent my mom a message explaining that I need her to take responsibility for what she did. I told her I told my husband because I felt it was something I couldnt keep from him and that I cant have her implying things in a neg

I understand it’s a bit of a cliché to say so, but my mother-in-law truly earned the title.

It’s been years since this all happened, and I finally feel like I can tell my story without suffering an immediate panic attack. It’s a rough one, but it’s one that needs to be told. I can assure you that I’m not here to lie to you, I see no point in weaving a salacious tale simply to entertain the masses… in fact, I wish I didn’t have to tell it at all.

For the sake of my recovery though, I feel I must—and perhaps, by doing so, my mistakes will serve as a warning to those like me. The compliant, the accommodating, the women who will bend over backwards just to be pushed a little further, until your back cracks and you’re dizzy from the blood pooling in your head. And still, you smile and say, “no, a little further won’t hurt!”

From the beginning, my relationship with my mother-in-law was strained. It was clear from day one that I would never be good enough for her son. He was her pride and joy, her forever prince, her baby boy. To me, though, he was just Rick. He was my husband, and I loved him.

I loved him so much that I was willing to stick through every torturous interaction with my mother-in-law. I laughed off every underhanded insult—I just love how career-oriented you are, dearie… I’m sure the grandbabies will come when you’re good and ready to settle down. You’ve still got a few years left, right? How old are you, again?

I smiled through each tantrum she threw—what do you mean you won’t be coming home for Christmas, Ricky?! Holidays are meant for families. You and Alaina are not family. Not until you have children.

I bit my tongue each time she treated each boundary I made, no matter how reasonable or healthy, as a hurdle to launch herself over—Alaina, I give you and Ricky everything, and I do it because I love you. You don’t want me to call every night? Fine. If you hate me this much, the least you could do is let my SON talk to me. You’re isolating him from his mother… I’m worried you’re becoming abusive.

Over the years, I’ve come to regret my silence. And I’ve grown to resent my—now ex-—husband for his silence, for the part he played in the events that unfolded. Through it all, I stayed quiet, stayed agreeable and endlessly fucking accommodating. I knew I was fighting a losing battle, and if I wanted to remain part of the family, I’d have to throw my hands up. I’d have to wave the proverbial white flag and surrender.

After all,

My oldest son is newly married and my youngest son is in a serious relationship. The young women they’re each with are amazing. I want to love them well without smothering them!

Edit: Thank you for all your heartfelt stories and advice. I stayed up until 3AM reading every single post. To those of you who love your MIL or SO’s mom, you are such a joy and gift to their life. And thank you for all the awards! ❤️

I am having a horrible time with my mother in law and I would really appreciate some advice or input as to my situation. I haven’t gone into great detail on everything my MIL has done to me but here is a short summary of the kind of person she is: She is very fake. She has this fake happy high pitched voice that she uses when people are around and acts all friendly and kind but then when no one is around her voice lowers and she says things that are completely rude and inappropriate. If anyone confronts her she fake cries on demand and uses this tactic to manipulate people. She is very religious and thinks she is always in the right because of this. She gets extremely defensive as soon as any tiny amount of criticism about either her or one of her kids comes her way. I can’t really think of anything good about her other than she’s tolerable, although annoying, when she’s got her fake thing going on.

My husband and I got married when I was 21 and he was 23. When we got married I was still attending college. My husband and I had been married about 5 months and I had just started mid semester break. I decided it would be fun to do a little day drinking to destress and get my mind off school. A few drinks in, I was feeling pretty good and my MIL texts me and asked if she could stop by to visit.

Now as a side note. My family is very relaxed when it comes to drinking and such so I’m used to it not being a big deal. On the other hand, my MIL is extremely religious and completely opposed to drinking. At the time, I didn’t think it would be a big deal if I was drinking a bit. I mean, I knew she didn’t drink but we drank at our wedding and it wasn’t a big deal so I thought it would be fine if she stopped by. Stupid, I know, but I guess I just didn’t think it was an issue if she stopped by for a quick visit.

Anyways I don’t remember if I warned her I was drinking or not but she came over. She could tell I was drunk but she didn’t really address it. The visiting part is kind of foggy. Probably the combination of it being 7 years ago and I was probably pretty tipsy. I believe I got more drunk than I should have but it happens sometimes when your young and figuring out your limit.

So after she left, she called my husband and told him that I am an alcoholic. I don’t know how the conversation between them went but she convinced him that he either needs to kick me out or bring me out to her place to get sober. She lives on a farm, an hour away from town in the middle