Mother

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I (23F) have two children, 5F and 3M. My style of parenting is not the most popular. One main thing of mine is I do not punish my kids; I ignore bad behaviour and reward good behaviour, or if they're doing something wrong I simply redirect them. It works amazing for me and my children are both very well adjusted and behaved.

Something else I do is give them full control over their own bodies. They decide how they want their hair, what clothes they wear, if they want to be touched or not, etc. My daughter has a shaved head and she's honestly rocking it.

My parents, specifically my mother, hate this. My sister had a wedding and asked them to wear formal clothes. My daughter wore a suit and my son wore a dress, which upset pretty much everyone. My sister was thankfully okay with it, and said while she'd of appreciated my daughter in a dress (to be bridesmaid) she understood it was her decision to make, not ours. She didn't mind my son because he was flower boy and she said him wearing a dress fit the aesthetic better, so a win all round.

Anyway, my mother is getting increasingly pissed off. She gets butthurt when she wants a hug and they say no, and I don't force them to hug her. She continues to buy my daughter feminine clothes that get promptly donated to charity and insists on buying my son 'boys toys' which he never uses.

This has become a huge problem. She's upset because she thinks my kids don't like her, and I explained they'd like her more if she just left them alone. They can talk, they have opinions, ask them how they're feeling and work with that.

Recently this has progressed into her calling me a neglectful mother. Apparently they'll never learn boundaries (which makes me laugh because she's the one who doesn't understand boundaries), but I digress. Apparently they'll never grow up and will be bullied in school, and become 'snowflakes'. She also claims they'll become badly behaved once they grow up.

I think she's being a bitch for trying to change the way I parent, and she thinks I'm driving a force between my kids and her. AITA?

Edit: Since I've posted this I've gotten many, many comments, I apologize for not being able to reply to them all. Every comment I've received can be placed into these categories;

Someone who was neglected, praising me and saying I'm what they wished they had/asking me to adopt them, which honestly warms my heart. You all deserved so much better and I would adopt you if I could!

Someone asking for parenting

Okay, I know how this sounds. Please hear me out at least.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 11 years, since I was 15. His mother has HATED me since the first day she met me. She hated me due to my ethnicity, (Kosovan Albanian) she hated me due to my career, I work as a model and she decided that makes me an empty headed, vain, shallow person. Then when I told her I still planned to go to university alongside my career she said I was doing it to “impress” my boyfriend. I’ve since left uni with a distinction and her new reason to hate me is… I try too hard? She has also insisted I’ve cheated on him throughout our entire relationship which is a ridiculous claim, I’ve never even kissed another man in my whole LIFE. I have zero desire to cheat and never will.

Late last year she attempted to void the insurance on my boyfriend’s motorbikes, she tried to do this under my name so, hypothetically, when he was arrested for riding with no insurance and called his insurance company, I’d get the blame. After this happened my boyfriend and I agreed to cut her out, however it hasn’t stuck, she left my boyfriend alone and respected his wishes for NC but she’s continued to contact and harass me.

This leads to the last few weeks, my boyfriend works as a motorcycle test rider and he got in an awful motorbike crash while working, as such I now need to care for him. I’m okay with that and I’m focusing on seeing it as an opportunity for us to get closer, it’s been nice honestly. However his mother has been AWFUL to me. She’s called me litany of terms. From things as tame as stupid to things as awful as a “Nasty Serbian half breed.” I’m not Serbian and she’s well aware that calling a Kosovan a Serb is offensive. I tried to block her so she started making new iMessage accounts and began to continuously harass me via those accounts.

Then came Friday night. The police turned up at our door. I was pretty confused and was quickly told they were there to do a welfare check as they’d received “multiple” claims of horrific abuse I was apparently putting my poor boyfriend under. Obviously they quickly discovered he was fine, albeit grumpy and they left. I know for a fact it was his mother, some of the details the police mentioned made that obvious.

I’m now at a point where I’ve realised I literally cannot do this. I’m going to press charges against her for the insurance and harassment (it’s a crime in the UK) and I’m likely going to sue her for damages, for the sake of my mental heal

I'm (28M) my brothers care taker (21M mental age 7-8), our parents decided at 18 to tell us to screw off, so when my brother (let's call him Bill) turned 18 I grabbed him and enrolled him to get his GED since he didn't finish highschool, and take care of him. His chores are too clean his room, help with laundry and set the table for supper. I get paid by the state and you better believe I make sure his needs are met. He's my little bud.

At the end of the month for each day he does his chores he gets a sticker, at the end of the month that sticker gets counted as 5$ and he uses the money for whatever he wants. Like toys, special snacks etc. He loves this.

He's been so good lately with chores I took him out for burgers and fries and took him to the toy store. My brother is big. Not fat, just tall and actually big boned (he's healthy weight and overall health), he gets excited and stims by flapping his hands, you do you little dude.

At the toystore he announced he wants Barbie's, cool, no judgement, and we go look at barbies. He's stimming and rambling about what he wanted and meanwhile a lady and little girl come in the aisle. Not even two minutes pass and the lady tells us to go to another aisle, she wants to look at the dolls and his weird hand movements are freaking her out. I tell her to wait her turn.

Not even another minute passes and she tells my brother to knock it off and go look at something else. Now I'm pissed. I tell my brother to get what he wants and looked at her and told her, her daughter could use a better role model, I'd hate for her to turn into such a grouchy hag. Took my brother out to pay for his barbies all while ignoring her telling me how much of an asshole I am for saying that in front of her daughter.

AITA?

I [M47] been with my wife for 2 years. She has a 21 year old son. I have a 14 year old daughter from my previous marriage. My late wife passed away in 2014. She left a few things for our daughter. Including a gold jewelry set. Her mom was devastated she didn't get to gift the set to our daughter on her wedding day. I keep it in my closet since it's expensive and my daughter is too young to have it. I'll hopefully gift it to her on her wedding.

Last week. We were sitting in the kitchen when my stepson was hesitant to ask me something. We're in good terms but have our fair share of arguments. He said his fiancèe was taking something from his mother's and my closet. saw the jewellery set and liked it very much. He asked if he could borrow it so his fiancèe can wear it at her cousin's wedding. I found this unacceptable I told him his fiancèe had no business being in the bedroom and that the jewellery isn't mine. It's for my daughter. He asked me if my daughter will agree to let him borrow it if he talked to her. I told him not to even talk about it again. He got all pissed and said things I do not remember.

Saturday night. When he and his fiancèe were at the wedding. I discovered that the jewellery set was gone. I told my wife and we looked all over the house. I called my stepson to tell him about calling the police because I really thought someone stole the set. He said there was no need. That he borrowed it and will return it after they get back from the wedding. I yelled at him and told him to come back with it right then. I kept calling him til 12am when he told me to stop calling and that he'd bring it in the morning.

I couldn't sleep that night I felt terrible. In the morning he showed up at 10am. He didn't bring it and started stalling saying: "he forgot"- "he'd bring it the next day". At this point it was clear he gifted it to his fiancèe and was stalling. I got so mad I told him I will be pressing charges if he doesn't return the set today. We got into an argument My wife said his fiancee was the one who wanted the jewelry set. But he was the one who took it and it's not even mine it's my daughter's which made it worse. Because I'm responsible for whatever happens to it.

His grandparents berated me after I told them this and got mad and defended him when I said that I will be pressing charges. he stole and needed to be responsible for his actions He didn't respond to my final calls so now I've given him one last chance and it's over

I pressed cha

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I 22F own my house. It's a fairly large size and has a finished basement which is one of the main reasons I bought it. I also am involved in BDSM and the basement is where my (expensive) tools and furniture are.

I host parties for siblings/niblings/cousins etc as I'm childfree and have a large backyard/don't actually do much of the work besides sometimes cooking for fun and the parents usually throw me a hundred or so bucks for it. My one rule (that so far all of the children I've had over/parents watching them) is NO ONE IS ALLOWED IN THE BASEMENT.

Basement door stays closed, there's a sign on it basically stating DO NOT ENTER without permission.

I decided to host the superbowl this year, as I have the past 2 years because why not? And tbh I love making themed food lol (just not specifically for kids) I had about 25 people over (no high risk, and COVID is not really an issue in my area) where 14 of them were adults, 2 were teens who were the most excited about finally getting to play in my gaming room lol. And the rest were kids ranging from 6-12.

After the party started, the younger kids were running around outside and the adults/teens were chilling I ran out to pick up a friend of mine who's also in the community so she could join the party.

On the way back I get a text from one of the teens who we'll call Sara (14?F)

"Uh, hey, me and Joe(15M) got some food and noticed the basement door was open" "We didn't go down. but I think the other kids did"

Naturally I was pissed and sped home to see an argument by my mother(50F), and my step- grandmother(68F) taking place on the front porch.

It turns out Mother let all the younger kids into the basement and said she had permission from me. The other adults doubted it but my mother showed a fake text from me and they were all pacified except step-grandma (<3) who wanted to wait until I arrived to confirm. Mother said sure but then let them into it anyways.

After I screamed at Mother for violating my one rule she started screaming back that it's good she did, I was obviously being abused and needed to move back home.

I told her she was no longer welcome on my property and went and shooed the children out of my basement (yes they were still there, mostly just chilling on a couch/running/climbing on a pole.) I also gave Sara and Joe $50 each for telling me/being honest.

I told all the adults gathered around that no one, was permitted in my basement, ever, without explicit VERBAL perm

Even before my wife and I started to think about kids, her mother has wanted us to name a son after her father. Let's say the name is Sherman. It's not actually Sherman, but think of something equally... generational. Or old-fashioned, perhaps. The important thing is, from day one, I have absolutely hated the name.

At the end of 2020, my wife and I welcomed a baby boy to the world. Hooray! But since the day we announced the gender, her mother ramped up the Sherman campaign. You might even say it was to the point of scorched earth. Luckily my wife and I gave each other 10 "no questions asked rejects" when it came to names. Obviously Sherman was the first to go. Ultimately we named our son something we both really liked... let's say his name is Alexander.

Over the past three months, my mother-in-law has been a constant presence. In the beginning, that was a really nice thing. Having an extra pair of hands was a godsend when the wife was waking up every hour to breastfeed and I was doing laundry, bottles, and 5sing on a never-ending loop. And frankly, it continues to help - she makes us dinner, she takes care of the baby, etc.

But you can probably guess where this story is going. With increasing frequency over the last few weeks, she's taking to calling our son "Sherm" or "Lil Sherm". She never calls him Alexander or Alex. The first dozen times I let it slide. The next dozen times it started to grate on me. The next dozen times, I started to remind her to call him by the right now in a joking way. The next dozen times, I reminded her in a matter of fact way to call him the right name. All throughout, I've told the wife about my building annoyance . We have a tacit agreement that we would handle our own families and she said she would talk to her mother about it. To be honest, I don't know when she did or how forceful she was, but clearly nothing had changed.

Today, I blew up at my mother-in-law. I told her how disrespectful it was to me and Alex that she continued to call him by the wrong name. That I didn't want him to be confused about his actual name. That she should call him by his real name or not come by anymore.

She didn't really say much in response. I think she said something about how she's just been trying to help. She got her things, said bye to my wife, and left. My wife thinks I'm overreacting. She says it's just a nickname - no different from "buddy" or "pal". Now she's especially upset because there's more stu

So i (F18) live with my brother (M19), my mom, her husband, and his daughter (f18).

My step sister’s mom passed away during childbirth. From what i’ve been told, she never had a mother figure in her life. I felt for her, i really did. But around 16, it got really old when she got away with shit because she used the death of her mom as an excuse. My mom remarried when i was 13 btw

It turned from small things she got away with to larger things. For instance, when we were 14, she completely trashed my room after she lost in a game of uno. Everything in my room from posters to my bed sheets were ruined. Her dad gave me $10 and said i shouldn’t take it to heart because she was upset from not having a mother figure.

Another one, my brother got his first car at 17 and she wanted him to take her to see friends, go shopping, just treat him like a personal uber. He said no so she scratched it up with a something and it was ruined. Again, my mom and her dad said “she’s just not in the right mindset because she misses her mom”.

Today, my brother and i were going to see my dad for his birthday. We made a cake for him and got him a custom blanket with a picture of his dog who passed a few weeks ago. As we’re getting ready to go, my step sister complained to her dad about us getting to “leave out” during the pandemic but she’s not allowed to see her friends.

We told her we were only going to see my dad and coming back and it was just the three of us not a large group of friends. She got mad and stormed off and we didn’t think much of it. It was stupid of me but i left the blanket downstairs not thinking much about it and when i went back down, it had bleach on it and the cake was sort of smashed by a ketchup bottle in the fridge.(even tho it had a top over it)

I already knew it was her and asked wtf was wrong with her. Both my brother and i were upset and it just turned into a screaming match. My mom came down to see what was happening and she started fake crying and said “it hurts seeing them get to visit their dad but i can’t visit my mom, i miss her so much it’s not fair”. Surprisingly enough my mom got upset with her but her dad came in and told us it wasn’t a big deal and we could just get a new one he continued with ‘she just misses her mom a lot, cut her some slack’

I finally lost it and told her she can’t keep using the death of her mom because it was not a valid excuse. I kinda got into detail how she was just being a bitch and i was not letting this

I (15NB) am mostly non verbal. It's not that I can't talk, I just really hate it. I didn't talk until I was four. It's uncomfortable and whenever I do talk it's like my body is on fire, or being stung by a thousand bees. I've tried therapies and doctors and they think it's linked to my pretty severe sensory disorder.

Anyway, my parents have shared custody. Usually I refuse to go to my mom's because I really don't like her and her other kids but my dad is sick so I just decided to go and let him get some rest.

My mom has never really understood my disability and has always been really shitty about it. When I was nine she signed me up for the choir because apparently I'd like talking if it was something fun. My dad pulled me out very quickly.

With other things like textures and noises she thinks I'll get over them if I'm subjected to them. Which leads her to do things like, throw sponges at my face so I'll get over the texture and then yell at me when I vomit everywhere.

All in all, she's pretty goddamn awful to be around.

For a few days she had been pestering me to talk, consistently asking me questions I wouldn't be able to answer with understandable hand gestures (because she won't learn sign language) and just generally being a bitch. Yesterday we were having dinner and she basically went, "You can only eat if you say please," everyone said please except for me, naturally, and so she did not serve me food. I signed please, I got paper and wrote please down, I even forced myself to mouth it, but she still refused.

My older brother just gave me his food and sort of shook his head at her. She berated him at the table and then took the food from me. At this point I was hungry and angry so I lifted my head and went, "Will you fuck off, you cow of a woman," and excused myself to go have a meltdown in the safe confines of the linen closet.

The house was in uproar, lots of yelling, and my older brother basically called our dad to come get me and I went home.

He agrees that while what my mother did was awful, if I was going to talk anyway, why couldn't I of just said please and avoided this whole situation. I explained that she was just going to pester me more and he dropped it, made dinner and then we watched movies.

My older brothers are kind of in the middle because I could of very easily not said that, but they understand why I did. My mother and her husband and calling me an insensitive bitch. My sister is giving me the cold shoulder.

I'm r

My husband and I (both 24M) love stuffed animals and toys, we have every single Pokemon Build a bear and it's been a little tradition for us to get a new stuffed animal and then a nice dinner somewhere. Just a cute date night.

When our local build a bear was open we went and got Vaporeon and jolteon (very limited amount of people in store, and mandatory masks), they had a deal buy one get one for $10, so of course we did it. The thing is, they had one vaporeon left and a bunch of jolteon.

While we're in line to get them stuffed I heard a mother complain that they didn't find any vaporeon in the bin and the worker said its first come first serve. Well, her daughter was throwing a tantrum because it's her birthday and of course saw hubs and I with one.

My husband has a short fuse so he bit his tongue while the mother came over, at first she was sweet, explaining it's get childs tenth birthday and she really needs it or she'll be screaming all night. I politely declined, giving it to the worker to stuff. The mother soon demands that we give it to her that we as adults don't need it.

Here's where we may be the asshole, I told her no again and to step off because she's too close and my husband says "Listen, I don't give a crap if your child needs it. Buy it online, you're really starting to piss me off. Do not make me say no again, it's a waste of our date time."

My husband is 6'3 and does competitive weight lifting. The woman might have been 5'4. Either way she said he didn't need to dominate her and that now her daughter will have nothing for her birthday.

My husband stands firm that we're NOT the asshole but I still feel a smidgen bad, but love my vaporeon I named Bubbles.

AITA?

Added info: hubby didn't yell, he's just very monotone and has a resting bitch face

Added info again: my husband's not a woman hating monster. He's not violent. Worst he would have done is call the security line of the mall. Stop acting like he flexed and cracked his knuckles. Also, no we won't understand when we have kids before we're never going to. As well, we didn't buy TWO vaporeons, we bought a vaporeon AND jolteon because we already have flareon at home. Her name is Spicy btw

My family-in-law was always mostly nice to me. But I found it very sad how they treated my partner. We are together for 4 years and we both moved away from our families.

Whenever we visit his mother and step-father (and his half-brothers who are younger and live at home) they make not the slightest effort to show him that they are happy so see him. We have to clean the guest-room first, we have to buy food for ourselves because he’s allergic to some food and his parents always have nothing to eat for him at home. When we visit his mother would say stuff like „you are not guest so you can help cooking“-jokes. I don’t mind helping but usually we cook for the family while she drinks wine and tells us what to do. They don’t show any interest in his life (ask him questions or anything). She sometimes said that getting him was too early and a mistake. It’s very strange for me to say something like that to your child? I never said anything mean about it and my partner doesn’t really want to talk about his family.

When we visit my mother (I’m an only-child) we go on walks together, we cook together and she is supper happy to see us. He always much more happier when we visit my mother.

Yesterday was his birthday and because of COVID we partied alone. When his mother and one of his brothers had birthday we called and have sent them packages with some presents. His family did NOT call all day long. At the evening he was super upset and wanted to go to bed early. I couldn’t see it and I wrote his mother a message „Hey, is everything okay? We sometimes have troubles with our phones - have you tried calling because of As Birthday?“ I hoped that maybe it’s only a phone-problem although I suspected that it’s not. Within 10 minutes his mother called him and wished him a happy birthday but then she told him what a bad person I was for implying they forget his birthday and how manipulative I am. She said that I always try to make her look like a miserable mother and that I‘m now not welcomed at her house anymore.

I don’t know how to feel about this. Was it an asshole move? I tried but I couldn’t see at which point I was an asshole?

Edit

I didn't expect anyone to really see this. Some more info.

I'm not American

My ex has constantly lied and changed her story and offer nothing to back up what she's saying, while I've told the truth and given actual evidence to back up my side of the story and the judge is still lapping up every word she has to say.

My husband is a store manager for a company. He has an employee who is a single mother, which is why I think I may be TA here, she works two jobs and needs both of them.

This woman has made it very clear that her ideal is to marry a man who will take care of her. I work from home with something that's basically a "side business" and the rest of the time, I'm a House Wife. It's our plan that when we have kids, I'll be a SAHM. This employee found out about that, along with finding out that we lost a baby around this time last year, though not the circumstances around why.

After finding that out, she started texting my husband on his days off with seemingly petty things she can easily handle, and not in the store's group chat. When he told her to speak to the assistant manager, she switched to sending work selfies with messages like "the store misses you <3." When I visit my husband at work, she makes comments about him being her "work hubby" that have him looking furious and snapping at her to leave him alone/get back to work.

Recently, I found out through the assistant store manager, that this employee has made comments about me being "barren" and how she would be a better wife because she's proven she can have kids. It happened to be that the district manager, who I know through my husband, was in the store that day for an employee-appreciation event. He saw I was upset, so he asked why and I told him everything. He wrote her up and put her on probation for harassment, the next work day. It's really hard to get people fired, but probation docks their commission pay for three weeks. Honestly, after the barren comment, I would rather she get fired.

My husband wasn't mad. He's been trying to find a reason to let her go for a while because of all this, but again, it's hard to do. Unfortunately, others in the store are taking her side, and she stormed up to me when I dropped off husband's lunch the next day saying I was messing with her livelihood because I can't take a joke. It doesn't feel like a joke to me, but I know I made it harder for her to support her kid with my comment. AITA?

Update: First of all, thank you for all the awards and the support over our loss. I really appreciate those who have reached out with their own stories.
My husband and I spoke last night after he got home from work. This morning, he reported her to his supervisor with a long email of screen shots of every inappropriate text. He also found some security footage showi

Does that mean that Mary had a little lamb?