I want to start by saying that I F25 don't have the best relationship with my mom. I have an older sister and growing up my mom always tended to control me and tried to override any decisions I make saying that I was young and naive and she always knew better. I cut contact with her for a few months after she tried to get involved in my marriage. My husband and I been together for 3 years and he has always been telling me to be more gentle with my mom.
I had a miscarriage a few days ago. It's devastating and I really thought it'll get easier but I'm still feeling excruciating pain and frustration. We were happy and excited but all that disappeared suddenly and it was hard for me to take because I thought everything was fine. I didn't tell anyone especially since I'm currently dealing with some health issues. I didn't tell anyone in the family. My husband promised not to tell until I'm ready. My mom kept asking me questions and brought up my pregnancy constantly and my answers were short. Because I didn't want her to know since she'd call everybody and let them know. She's always like this that's why I tend to keep things private
I decided to not visit for a couple of days hoping she'd stop asking questions. Then I found out on FB that my mom announced my miscarriage on her page and I didn't know about that I was shocked I freaked out when I started getting calls from family members and I have no idea how many people knew about it. I was so mad to the point of shaking. Everyone kept berating me for not telling them. I called my mom and I yelled at her. she defended herself saying that she was just looking for support and that I should've told her about it first time she asked what was wrong. I asked her who told her and she said she had a talk with my doctor but I shouldn't be mad because she's my mom and she had the right to know what's going on. I argued with her about getting involved in my personal life and disregarding my feelings and cutting me off guard like that.
I went to the doctor and I lashed out at her for releasing my private medical information to my mom and causing me to deal with everyone asking why I was hiding my miscarriage from them even though I was just waiting for the right time. I told my doctor that I was going to file a complaint against her the same day since she didn't respect my privacy and decided to give my mom information about my medical records.
My mom heard and started berating me saying it wasn't the doctor's fault... keep reading on reddit ➡
My family GP is great. I am so lucky. I have had bad ones.
Consistently, any type of specialist for help with pain are horrible.
Like besides being in pain, the one thing that makes me want to end my life is the specialist being dicks and the horrible waitlists, so I'm stuck with a dick and never mind finding a new specialist with their ridiculous wait times because now the new doctor will think you're are drug seeker.
OMG if pain wasn't bad enough, this would definitely put a person over the edge.
Edit: Thank you for all your responses. I am glad I am not alone. But I am so sorry you are stuck feeling the way I do.
Seriously guys, I don't know what's going on lately but in the last week or two I've seen a shit ton of posts asking for help with a diagnosis with nothing but pics of a bare back. It's often people who still haven't seen a specialist about it, still haven't had x-rays done and look as straight as I pretended to be back in middle school (pun intended).
9 times out of 10 a naked back looks perfectly fine.
You need X-rays.
You also need a doctor but first you definitely need x-rays. Give me some x-rays and I might be able to help you at least a bit even if I'm not a doctor, but no way I'll ever be able to do that without x-rays.
You. Need. X-rays.
Every case is extremely different, and often close to nothing is visible from the outside. Even if you think your back looks off it's a lot more likely to be some level of body dismorphia than something that is actually visible to anyone other than you.
And by saying this I'm not saying that ya'll are stupid or something, I know you're worried and afraid and I understand it incredibly well, but you really have to understand that this is not what you should do. People online who are not doctors, not specialists, and have nothing more medically advanced than pics of your bare back taken with a cellphone can not help you.
Actually, if you think that you have scoliosis cause your back looks slightly off, chances are that it's still very manageable and you'll just need to mention it to your family doctor. They'll verify it and if they also are worried that you might have scoliosis they'll send you to a specialist, and if the specialist is also worried they will make you get x-rays to verify.
Even specialist doctors need x-rays to tell, how could we possibly be able to do it with just pics?
This might actually be really dangerous cause your back can both look off because of something that is not scoliosis or look absolutely fine even with a pretty severe curve.
Chest deformities, shoulders and hips unevenness, having one leg longer than the other are all problems that very much exist and can or cannot be associated with scoliosis. In the same way scoliosis can or cannot influence your neck, shoulders, hips and chest.
You need x-rays guys, x-rays are the only possible way to actually see your spine and see if somethings wrong with it.
I had an over 30 degrees curve at the time of my diagnosis and literally the only reason my doctor found out was that I had a super incredibly specific chest deformity tha... keep reading on reddit ➡
My F38 son 9 has a medical condition. We're struggling so much trying to do everything we can to help him deal and cope with his condition. It's been difficult enough without my mother in law getting involved and making decisions without talking to me and my husband first. She'd completely disregard our fears and concerns as parents and claim we don't know what's best for her grandson by trying to control doctors appointments/arguing with doctors. Criticizing and telling them how to do their job/ bringing medication that her friend doctor prescribed without even diagnosing my son.
She'd get mad if we don't comply and do what she tells us. Her latest stunt was showing up at my son's appointment and making a scene resulting in me and my husband going no contact and changing the clinic by having my son's medical file transformed to another clinic.
My mother in law was removed from any emergency contact we had before and we made it clear to the new doctor to not share our son's medical information. My mother in law kept trying to find out what clinic/which doctor our son goes to and she tried to guilty tip my husband and also get the family to pressure us into letting her know. No one realized the negative affect she had on my son's health and progress and the family kept calling me awful and resentful because she's just worried for her grandson.
Last week. I found out that my mother in law was at the clinic and was speaking to my son's pediatrician about my son's condition. My husband told me his mom called and told him she was talking to the doctor discussing our son's condition. He told me he didn't want to speak to his mom but she called to let him know that she has a right to take part in her grandson's care and that we shouldn't try to hide things from her since she eventually was able to find out.
I was livid. I was so angry I went to talk to the doctor about the conversation she had with my mother in law and the fact that she disclosed medical information after being told several times that this would cause us plenty of issues because of my mother in law's behavior. Mother in law is already trying to get involved and I just couldn't take it. I reported the doctor and filled an HIPAA complaint.
I was told to back off but I couldn't take this massive lack of professionalism on the doctor's part and the fact that now I'm having to deal with my mother in law's attempts to control the situation.
My mother in law spread the news about the doctor and th... keep reading on reddit ➡
Let me highlight that I respect the work doctors do and that it is indeed a difficult field so I thank every doctor for the work they do. However, over the years I had several issues in my body, nothing crazy serious but it always was something and never managed to at least get seen thoroughly since my symptoms weren't major I guess.
A few years ago I started having random pain on my achilles tendon, every time I'd sprint I got the feeling that it was about to break, before anything happened I went to the GP and asked if I could get seen thoroughly and I was told that it was probably nothing serious and to go to the physiotherapist with a referral, the physio called, he listened to my concern and made a training plan that frankly made me suffer more than before, a few months went by and 2 minutes into a football match I sprinted and I felt an insane crack. Achilles tendon rupture and 24 months without running.
In 2019, my uncle began to have intense headaches to the point of crying, in Spain, he would regularly go to the GP to get seen cause it wasn't normal and all he got was paracetamol and ibuprofen prescriptions, never got seen thoroughly since he mentioned that it happened occasionally. One day he had such strong headache that he fainted, never woke up and passed away.
Now, I've been having pain on my groin area for years now, on and off and called at least 20 times to get seen and to see whether they could check me thoroughly, once they gave me a referral to the physiotherapist even though I insisted that the issue was internal, the physio gave me a list of exercises to do, I did and the pain increased, I kept calling but I still didn't manage to get seen in a way that would ease my concerns. So, last year as the pain increased I called and kept calling until I got seen and it turns out I've had prostatitis all these years. I got so used to the occasional pain that I thought it was normal for every man to have pain there every now and then. It made me a bit resentful to be honest because I knew something was wrong but every place I visited made assumptions without ever being looked at properly.
This isn't a post to bash on doctors in specific or the medical field but I'd be lying if I said that deep inside I feel like for xyz, we're never fully listened to or taken seriously
I've been contemplating telling this story as it's been a little reminder over the last year to take care of myself and not listen to what plenty of male doctors have told me about pain and how I am "supposed" to feel it. I figured, if anyone would get a kick out of this story, you guys would. And perhaps it will resonate with someone else and we an all take a break and remind ourselves that no one knows your body like you do, and to take anyone's word above your own might end up quite badly.
For a bit of context, I (22F) am no stranger to pain. From car accidents, falling down staircases, back and shoulder injuries, pinched nerves, and a plethora of other longterm annoyances, I only tend to count myself lucky because I miraculously have never broken a bone before. but those who know me know that I will gladly sacrifice being in physical pain for my work and studies, even when I really shouldn't. All that to say, I know the difference between "discomfort" and "pain", but unfortunately have gotten into the habit of ignoring both, especially if it's something other people might not understand or think isn't as bad as it is. I also attend a small university, with a health centre on campus. All students who don't commute are automatically assigned to one of the doctors as their "family GP" during their degree, and for some reason switching is incredibly difficult. The doctor I was assigned to was kind of a jerk, and there were definitely red flags leading up this story, but they were merely drops in the bucket of crap that happened over my medical journey.
With that, let me tell you the story what I affectionately refer to as "u/StarchChildren's Week of Chaos", which was the only case any of my friends know in which someone (me) was allowed to switch doctors on campus.
It started with what I thought was a mild cold. I am a musician and singing is a big part of my routine, so when it comes to sinus health I am all for getting things checked before they get bad. This cold happened to be getting bad, so I went to my (male) doctor, who told me "it's a cold, you'll get over it in a few days". Spoiler alert, it did not get better in a few days.
Instead, it raged very quickly into a bad sinus infection, like the kind where you have to hold your head over a bowl of hot water to have any hope of breathing at all, and your eyelids are swollen nearly shut from the pressure. After a couple sleepless nights, I went back, and my doctor repeated that it was just a... keep reading on reddit ➡
I had wax buildup in my ear today, which is causing ear pain. I was trying to get it out with the treatment my doctor prescribed me (some ear drops) and my girlfriend kept suggesting I use a qtip. I told her several times that my doctor advised me NOT to use a qtip. Finally, after she suggested it for like the fifth time, I said angrily, “I’m not going to listen to someone who’s not a doctor over my doctor” Without another word, she collected her stuff and stormed out. I’m fucking annoyed, but I feel no regrets about being snappy, since I had to repeat myself over and over. Yeah, I get she was trying to help, but she should’ve realized that she wasn’t being helpful, just pushy and annoying, right?
EDIT: Some people are saying I'm an asshole for the fact that I was being loud and complainy before my gf offered me her shitty dangerous advice. I take responsibility for that, but I was just venting to the universe, which by the way she does too. Don't women always say, "I don't want you to fix my problem, just to listen?" Well, that's how I felt. The vexing part was the fact that I told her it was a bad idea several times and she kept insisting, which made me feel disrespected. Anyways, I know I can always improve my delivery, so I'll take responsibility there.
Right now, in the game, medics are entirely unnecessary. I've spent tens of rounds as a mechanic rescuing downed crewmates while the medics are off making great use of that medical skill crafting fentanyl they will never use. I'd like to give the medic class more medical tools to work with (like screwdrivers and wrenches, but for bones and skin instead of electricity and gears), and make long-term healing a bit more difficult for any old shlub to do.
THE BIG CHANGE: OPIOIDS ONLY HEAL INTERNAL DAMAGE TEMPORARILY.
So here's my idea: For permanent healing, medics would use a set of reusable medical kits in order to heal specific types of internal damage slowly over time. Here's an example: A mechanic is working outside the sub when crawlers attack. He manages to avoid them, but he gets accidentally shot a few times by coilguns while the sub was fighting off the crawlers. He gets a few light lacerations and bleeding to his legs, and by the time he gets back inside the sub, he has moderate bloodloss. Then the medic arrives. The medic first administers bandages to stop the bleeding, and a blood pack for the blood loss, but the lacerations still remain. The medic then pulls out a "SUTURE KIT" and uses it on the mechanic. A progress bar, much like the crowbar's progress bar, appears over the mechanic as the medic works on him, a more skilled medic getting better results. Once the treatment is complete, the mechanic's legs begin to heal slowly. The medic sees that the mechanic is walking funny, so he gives him a shot of morphine, temporarily topping up his health bar and allowing the mechanic to walk at full speed while his legs are healing.
Here's a list of item's I would add or change to make the medical system more dynamic or make certain items more useful(cough glueandpomegrenade cough):
NEW Item: Suture Kit
Held in the hands and used on humans like you would use a crowbar on a door with a progress bar delay. Each usage allows a human to slowly recover 20-40 (based on medical skill) points of lacerations or bite wounds. This healing effect cannot stack for faster healing, but the duration can be reset by performing the operation again. Failing a skill check with this kit causes 15 bleeding on a random body part. This item is not consumed, and can be reused until lost or deconstructed. This kit requires a medium amount of skill to use without chance of failure.
NEW Item: Splinting Kit
Held in the hands and used on humans like you would use a crowbar on a... keep reading on reddit ➡
My Endo journey took yeeears and multiple doctors. It is still ongoing and I’m sure I’ll hit some more bumps along the road. Question - is worrying about a doctor believing you / your pain / your symptoms a particularly Endo thing, or maybe a larger, general female thing???!??? I understand it takes most of us with Endo years of suffering to be properly diagnosed. I have had that in other aspects of life as well like when I broke my shoulder and it took almost ONE YEAR of physical therapy, a constantly enlarged, inflamed arm and weekly complaining to my dr to finally get an MRI which showed I was not just being dramatic but I needed rotator cuff surgery. During the year I also had frozen shoulder which was great.
My boyfriend recently has had a lot of shoulder pain and within a couple weeks, got an X-ray, started PT and an MRI. His MRI shows he also has frozen shoulder and surgery is not necessary. Woot! While I know from experience it’s not a fun thing to have, I was so happy for him cos it shows he was correct that has a serious problem (which can thankfully be fixed with PT and a few shots). As I’m excitedly explaining why I’m so happy cos it proves he has an actual problem, he looked at me like I was crazy. Like of course there was a problem and the dr believed him. He told the dr he was in pain and the dr looked into it. There was no hesitation on his part or questioning that a)there was ACTUALLY something wrong and b) his doctor understood he was in pain and believed it was from a medical issue. He didn’t have to forcefully advocate for himself for the dr to believe him.
Meanwhile I’m here like WTF IT TOOK A YEAR FOR ME TO GET AN MRI FOR A PAINFUL ROTATOR CUFF TEAR AND SEVERAL YEARS FOR ANY GYNO TO TAKE MY ENDO SERIOUSLY. Ughhhhhh. The sexist pain bias in the medical community is fucked. Women, you NEED to be your own advocate cos no one else is gonna do it for you. /endrant
I am a recently minted MD that did a lot of data science throughout medical school for a university-government collaboration and I want to leave clinical medicine to peruse a career in data science. I understand my salary won't be as high, but honestly, lower pay is worth not having the fear of getting sued, hospital/medical board bureaucracy, mean patients, or the long work hours of mostly typing in the EMR. Do you think an MD can be as marketable as a quant degree? If you were in my shoes would you even switch? Would love to hear your perspective!
So among patient-advocate activists on social media (including Reddit), I’ve seen this tip advised.
Let’s say the patient believes they have a certain condition and requests labs/imaging for it. The doctor thinks this condition is unlikely and the tests not indicated. The patient would then insist that the doctor should document in their record the patient’s request and their refusal. This is supposed to pressure the doctor into ordering the desired test.
I think it’s poor advice for a couple reasons. First- it’s adversarial and gives the patient the idea that they need to coerce their doctor. Second- if the doctor has valid reason for not suspecting the condition and not ordering the test, they will have no problem documenting their rationale.
Have you had a patient do this with you? How did it/how would it change your decision?