Sponsored by mayonnaise sandwiches
πŸ‘︎ 34k
πŸ“°︎ r/rareinsults
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nomadsgirl
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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I hate mayonnaise

There, I said it. Upcoming rant. Mayonnaise is REVOLTING. And I’m SICK AND TIRED OF SEEING IT EVERYWHERE! I love tuna, I really do. But everywhere I go, if I see tuna in a restaurant or cafe, it’s always freaking TUNA MAYO! Mayonnaise has made sole tuna irrelevant, and I’m sick of it. I also hate how every single restraunt puts mayonnaise on EVERYTHING! Mayonnaise is so overrated, and i just want ONE PLACE i can peacefully eat tuna, WITHOUT MAYONNAISE!!!

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πŸ“°︎ r/unpopularopinion
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrystallicWolf108
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28
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Oh yeah I love when my mayonnaise is yellow
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ“°︎ r/CrappyDesign
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheEnderGirl07
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
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It's mayonnaise time !
πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ“°︎ r/memes
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
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ELI5: Why does mayonnaise act and taste the same as butter if you fry it on a grilled cheese sandwhich?

My grandad taught me this trick when I was like 7 and old enough to make a grilled cheese, and it was like magic to me, and is still really, I just thought about it and I really don’t know any food chemistry so naturally brought me to reddit to seek out my tasty answer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/silversly54
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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Trying to get a sandwich in tesco when you don't like mayonnaise
πŸ‘︎ 346
πŸ“°︎ r/britishproblems
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChiGont
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
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Steamed buns filled with Sous vide short-rib with mayonnaise and scallions
πŸ‘︎ 681
πŸ“°︎ r/sousvide
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πŸ‘€︎ u/haminmin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
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1000 degree ball vs. Mayonnaise v.redd.it/3tk5t2g4nkd61
πŸ‘︎ 339
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InvisibleLemons
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26
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Mayonnaise is an instrument, nothing else
πŸ‘︎ 966
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bruhimnot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27
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The expiration date of my mayonnaise begins with MAY0.
πŸ‘︎ 638
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lukewarm_pizza
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
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His superpower is loud mayonnaise noises.
πŸ‘︎ 177
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πŸ‘€︎ u/caulkbite
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
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Actual footage of JonTron breaking into my house and stealing my mayonnaise
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πŸ“°︎ r/JonTron
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrAntiAnti
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
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Cursed mayonnaise
πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ“°︎ r/cursedcomments
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shadowyboi250596
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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Vegan potato salad made with olive oil mayonnaise & faux bacon bits (338 calories) reddit.com/gallery/l51bms
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πŸ“°︎ r/safe_food
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chezpajama
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26
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Man Pulls Gun During Dispute Over Jar of Mayonnaise in Pasadena pasadenanow.com/main/man-…
πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ“°︎ r/pasadena
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TiredFather
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
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Mayonnaise in the chili

Going to school at Kapalama Heights, one of the sure signs someone was from the Big Island. When we went to Zippys and ate chili and rice, they would add a scoop of mayonnaise to their chili, mix it up, then eat it. I still do. Any signs or habits that if you saw it, you would know instantly that person grew up in Hawaii? Besides wearing slippahs everywhere.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ“°︎ r/Hawaii
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πŸ‘€︎ u/teva98125
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
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Tomato and mayonnaise sandwich
πŸ‘︎ 92
πŸ“°︎ r/shittyfoodporn
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hattman57
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24
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I HATE Mayonnaise

PLEASE STOP PUTTING MAYONNAISE EVERYWHERE IM GOING CRAZY WHY IS IT THAT MY FAMILY AND EVERYBODY AROUND ME ALWAYS PUTS MAYO ON MACARONI, IN SANDWICHES, ON HOTDOGS, OR ON CHIPS. BASICALLY EVERYWHERE.

PLEASE STOP THE TEXTURE GROSES ME OUT AND I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE MAYONNAISE SUCKS THATS IT THATS THE POST.

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πŸ“°︎ r/rant
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beannie14
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
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Murdered by mayonnaise
πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ“°︎ r/MurderedByWords
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jkszos
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
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Flag of the Mayonnaise and Mustard Men who WILL deliver the mayonnaise and mustard and nothing I could do would stop them.
πŸ‘︎ 580
πŸ“°︎ r/somnivexillology
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArgentumOne
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
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When the mayonnaise bottle is so obnoxiously tall that it doesn't fit in the funking fridge and you have to sacrifice a whole shelves H or W to accommodate the shitting lanky tube of wanky oil infused egg.
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πŸ“°︎ r/britishproblems
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rhubarbland
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31
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In Sweden, the largest size of Hellmans mayonnaise is called American Size
πŸ‘︎ 127
πŸ“°︎ r/europe
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
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Is mayonnaise a religion?
πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ“°︎ r/dankmemes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Italianpotato12
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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Grabbed a box of crystal light from my pantry this morning. Open it at lunch, at work to have some delicious green tea. Someone evil has replaced my green tea with mayonnaise.
πŸ‘︎ 152
πŸ“°︎ r/Wellthatsucks
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mndsm79
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
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My friend said i couldn't eat any fancy food on Keto, so i tried to make fancy looking Keto food. I messed up the hollandaise sauce, so I made a quick dill and parsley mayonnaise to finish it off.
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πŸ“°︎ r/ketoaustralia
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mynutsaremusical
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31
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You have the ability to spawn jars of mayonnaise. Spreading it on walls will make you able to walk through the wall.
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yarakmansarak1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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Mayonnaise.
πŸ‘︎ 217
πŸ“°︎ r/aaaaaaaarrrrro
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Julio974
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31
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WFPB Oil Free Mayonnaise
πŸ‘︎ 80
πŸ“°︎ r/PlantBasedDiet
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiganax
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
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Woman says "As a mayonnaise eater" minutes before violently attacking mayonnaise youtu.be/ug0oegv36jE
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πŸ“°︎ r/AsABlackMan
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Harry_Coolahan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27
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Nein Kevin, Mayonnaise ist keine Schutzmaske
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ“°︎ r/Austria
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Turtoad
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
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I don’t like mayonnaise.
πŸ‘︎ 86
πŸ“°︎ r/teenagers
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ppppie_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
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First time here, thought I'd say aloha with my favourite picture of Mayonnaise.
πŸ‘︎ 174
πŸ“°︎ r/leopardgeckos
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrThiccles
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
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Ist Mayonnaise auch ein Instrument?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGreatDancer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
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Chelsea’s friend reminds me of Patty Mayonnaise from Doug because of her hair
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πŸ‘€︎ u/swiftdickens
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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Mayonnaise with French fries is great, and I will fight anyone who says otherwise.
πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ“°︎ r/memes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DmitriTheRedditor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31
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Is MayOnNaISe aN InStRUmEnT?ΒΏ
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πŸ“°︎ r/FreeKarma4U
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RinnKimmichi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28
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Saves me from having to explain why I am only buying mayonnaise and Ritz...
πŸ‘︎ 303
πŸ“°︎ r/infp
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PancakesDoWork
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
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Is mayonnaise a stonk?
πŸ‘︎ 454
πŸ“°︎ r/dankmemes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Noobmaister69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31
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This black lippie would never suit my pail mayonnaise alabaster ass 😭🀧πŸ₯Ά
πŸ‘︎ 74
πŸ“°︎ r/muacirclejerk
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πŸ‘€︎ u/risalyssa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
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Super Early (September 2011) video of "Hilaria," with an accent covered in extra spicy mayonnaise

Come for the ridiculously thick accent, stay for her actually being caught on tape saying "I didn't own a TV growing up, so diss whole TV thing ees bery new for me."

Mario Lopez show segment about Yoga Vida

Money-shot quote: "My name is Hilaria Thomas and I'm an extra life-changer."

Damn right, you are!

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πŸ“°︎ r/HilariaBaldwin
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tellytugboat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
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Dressing up as a schoolgirl and covering yourself in mayonnaise. v.redd.it/mtmc0u9f00d61
πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ“°︎ r/Cringetopia
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Minecraft_Skymobs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
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I made breaded chicken and some Potatoes in my air fryer along with some chipotle mayonnaise that I made...and I barely even eat fried foods anymore...yep it β€˜twas yummeh
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πŸ“°︎ r/depressionmeals
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πŸ‘€︎ u/logiscotch
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27
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What do you call a funny jar of mayonnaise?

LMAYO

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ“°︎ r/dadjokes
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 27
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Mayonnaise prices are extravagantly high

What was once a flavorful spread for the common man to enjoy on his toasted bread after a long day down in the iron mines, is now another way of posturing from the elite. Many of us lowly denizens cower in the shadows of our impoverished barrio - cursed to a life of Kraft and Heinz "Real Mayonnaise" while Taylor Swift celebrates with Hellmans for pumping out another platinum record. (while Demi Lovato and Morgan Freeman cheer her on.)

Why should I - as a father have to bear my children looking at me with a desperate stare, and asking me why we don't use brand name mayonnaise like Melissas' family up the street? How can I look my babies in the eyes and explain that Daddy doesn't have an uncle in the Vatican like Little Melissa and they can choose warm water in their bath-tubs or we can walk up our driveway with designer canvas Trader Joe bags - not both. Never both.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NONSTIC
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
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I keep accidentally using my shower mayonnaise for my hair instead of my shampoo. Any advice to fix this?
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Heavy_Metal_Cats
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
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Killing A Dragon With Mayonnaise

So, while this hasn't happened yet, this is a plan I and a party member are planning to kill our campaign's bbeg, an ancient green dragon trying to become a god, Teletraxia.

Teletraxia already cursed 2 of our party members with her mark, which means, while they get plenty of dragonmark benefits from it, if they try to fight her, they will be killed by the mark.

Now here comes my character, an Aarakocra monk. In the last boss fight that we had, we got a lot of magic items. The 2 my character chose from the pile was an alchemist jug and an immovable rod.

I came up with this plan, and brought it forth to the other players between sessions, and we are on board with it.

Basically, every in game day will be spent filling up a bag of holding with what will eventually amount to almost 500 pounds of mayonnaise from the alchemist jug. At the end of it, im going to try and get a potion of diminution made to mix into the mayo. If possible, and the dm allows it, i also want to have my bag enchanted so that if the bag is flipped inside out to dump all of its contents, the contents get enlarged for 1 minute. Not entirely necessary, but funny nonetheless.

When we finally face off against Teletraxia, im going to try and fly up to her mouth, stick the immovable rod in and press the button, then dump the diminution mayo down her throat, reducing her to 1/8 her size, which will make the immovable rod jammed into her skull, and make her unable to move her head.

Then, all party members are going to cast fire spells down her throat, cuz mayo has sulfur from the eggs, and since mayo has a flash point of 400 degrees farenheit, at which point itll basically become a napalm explosive, we will literally explode the dragon from the inside out with mayo

Edit: so, in the last session our party found out that Teletraxia isn't actually evil, she's only in the morally grey area. She enslaves others and takes their souls for power and to become a god, but only because she wants to become powerful enough to take on the Game Masters, the evil gods who destroyed the original gods and created the Island (where the game takes place), which is a cursed Island of 5 separate regions, each with a tower that holds a riddle, and in the center of the island is the central pillar. The way the island works is that, every decade or so, the island shifts to a different planet or plane of existence, never appearing on the same one twice, and anybody who is born on the island is unable to leave

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ“°︎ r/DnDGreentext
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ultrabrandon12
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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If someone had told me before this to "use some mayonnaise" to make a decadent and moist chocolate cake, I wouldn't have believed them. Glad that I gave this recipe a go!
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πŸ“°︎ r/Baking
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πŸ‘€︎ u/holykaugummi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
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I asked for light mayonnaise
πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ“°︎ r/shittyfoodporn
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whitlow14
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
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Issue with Kewpie Mayonnaise - be warned reddit.com/gallery/l8ccey
πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ“°︎ r/ketoaustralia
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Glopuss
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
🚨︎ report
Mayonnaise in Chili

Going to school at Kapalama Heights, one of the sure signs someone was from the Big Island. When we went to Zippys and ate chili and rice, they would add a scoop of mayonnaise to their chili, mix it up, then eat it. I still do. Any signs or habits that if you saw it, you would know instantly that person grew up in Hawaii? Besides wearing slippahs everywhere.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ“°︎ r/BigIsland
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πŸ‘€︎ u/teva98125
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
🚨︎ report

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