I know that's a wild ride of a title, but I promise it's all true so buckle up
When I was in eighth grade, I was in the first year of an experimental technology school. I had a class of about 180 eighth graders (12-14 year olds) and about 10 teachers. So everybody shared the same math teacher. For our first semester we used a software called Gage. Its was alright for most classes, but it was absolutely atrocious when it came to math. Nothing worked with math. We were supposed to use the lessons they had, but it just didn't work. Math symbols didnt show up right and some questions even had the wrong answer marked.
My math teacher wasn't allowed to just move to paper, and the company insisted that the problem was that our math teacher was older and just didn't understand technology. They said that if she had a genuine issue to email them.
One day, I get to class, and there are 7 email addresses written on the board. She told us that we were going to go through our math lesson today, and take screenshots of every mistake we found and email them to the companies executives. One screenshots = one email. 10 emails = a packet of gummy bears. We had a blast trying to send as many emails as we could. One kid got ten packets of gummy bears by end of the hour class.
By lunch the principal called my teacher aside and asked for her to stop. She said "Hell no! My afternoon classes haven't had fun yet!"
Long story short, our school district got all of its money back from using the software, and the company no longer exists (or they changed their brand out of shame. Idk, I just cant find them anymore)
Tl;dr: the software company said to email if she found a actual issue, so she had an army of either graders, inspired by gummy bears, send thousands of emails to the CEO and other executives.
Can't sleep, because my brain fucking despises me, but I just figured out an absolutely ridiculous thing I could feasibly do in D&D.
Lvl 13 monk/lvl 5 Elk Totem Barbarian/lvl 2 Fighter, Tabaxi with boots of speed and Mobile feat. Have longstrider and Haste cast on them.
Base Tabaxi monk walking speed: 50
+25 Barbarian speed bonus: 75
+10 Mobile Feat: 85
+10 Longstrider: 95
Base speed + Main action dash + bonus action step of the wind dash + Action surge dash + haste action dash * 2x boots of speed * 2x haste speed * 2x Tabaxi racial feet speed.
(95+95+95+95+95) * 2 * 2 * 2=3,800ft.
Standard round is 6 seconds, so 3,800ft/6=633.33 feet per second.
Just a hair shy of 432 MPH.
I need sleep.
The plumber comes over and quickly fixes the sink. The professor is happy until he gets the bill. He tells the plumber, "How can you charge this much? This is half of my paycheck." But he pays it anyways.
The plumber tells him, "Hey, we are looking for more plumbers. You could become a plumber and triple your salary. Just make sure you say you only made it to 6th grade, they don't like educated people."
The professor takes him up on the offer and becomes a plumber. His salary triples and he doesn't have to work nearly as hard. But the company makes an announcement that all of their plumbers must get a 7th grade education. So they all go to night school.
On the first day of night school they all attend math class. The teacher wants to gauge the class so he asks Dave, "What is the formula for the area of a circle?"
Dave walks up to the board and is about to write the formula when he realizes he has forgotten it. So he begins to attempt to derive the formula, filling the board with complicated mathematics. He ends up figuring out it is negative pi times radius squared. He thinks the minus doesn't belong so he starts over, but again he comes up with the same equation. After staring at the board for a minute he looks out at the other plumbers and sees that they are all whispering,
"Switch the limits on the integral!"
The French exchange student raised his hand and said, "Excuse me Madam, but I don't know how to say fractions. How do you say those?"
"Easy," said the teacher, "you just say the top number and then the bottom number is read as an ordinal number. For example, 2/3 is 'two-thirds', 3/4 is 'three-fourths', and 2/5 is 'two-fifths'."
"Thanks, I understand, "said the exchange student.
"Good," said the teacher, and then asked the student, "so how do you say 4/8?"
"Should I reduce?" asked the boy.
"That would be best," said the teacher.
"One-second," said the boy.
"Take as long as you need," said the teacher.
I wanted to emphasize this:
" In general the trends follow what we’ve seen with the other units, requiring multiple turns to have a decent chance of killing Mortarion thanks to all of the overlapping bonuses. Over a year ago we explored the insanity that was a fully buffed Iron Hands Leviathan, which used a combination of abilities to dramatically reduce and ignore damage in a way that was obviously outside the scope of what the designers intended. The most jaw-dropping fact was that a Warlord Titan would fail to kill the Leviathan 13% of the time, in spite of using city-leveling weaponry. Since then Games Workshop has released new Datasheets for the Titans and changed a lot, but they’re still absurdly expensive at 5500 points. And it won’t kill Mortarion 30% of the time. "
Far too much for 490 points, the Broken Iron Hands Leviathan was worse than current Mortarion and needed more "finesse" to be deployed on the battlefield whereas with Mortarion you just pay 490 points and you're done