TIFU by accidentally getting married at the UPS store

This happened a couple hours ago. I recently proposed to my long term girlfriend a couple weeks ago. Unfortunately due to the nature of my work we have to move soon and having a real wedding before then during covid would be impossible. I got off work early today and after getting home my fiancée asked if we could go get some paperwork notarized for our courthouse wedding we planned to have in a month or two. We hopped in the car with a form we printed off the county website and drove to the closest UPS, the notary checked our IDs and had us sign and then she signed, notarized the form, and said congratulations. Cool, now all we have to do is go to the courthouse on a day of our choosing to be wed. My fiancée called the courthouse afterwards double checking to see if we needed to bring anything else and after calling me her boyfriend the lady on the phone corrected her by saying “husband.” She then told my fiancée our state no longer requires a ceremony with the judge at the courthouse. That form is literally the marriage certificate and she is now married. Whoops! We had a honeymoon picnic at a park near a lake

TLDR: A UPS worker officially married me and my wife without us knowing.

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📰︎ r/tifu
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📅︎ Apr 19 2021
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The naked shorting scam in numbers: AI detection of 140M hidden FTDs, up to 400M naked shorts in married puts and massive dark pool activity by Shitadel and the shorts

Edit: I made a new post describing how I trained the binary classifier (AI) used in this post.

This could be it. This could be the whole scam.

TLDR: HODL. Simple as that. HODL and the shorts have no way to escape. They just writhe around in desperation as FTDs escalate, their options expire and New DTCC rulings approach. To support this belief I:

  • Built an AI to detect Deep ITM calls used to create naked shares. 140M naked shares produced this way since Jan. Deep ITM call covering appears to be their last resort of illegal desperation. It's so easy to spot.
  • Investigated married put naked shorting. At the Jan mini-squeeze put open interest went wild and aligns with the creation of millions of naked shares with married put trades. Put volumes appear to be sustained at higher levels to keep rolling over FTDs. Up to 400M naked shares created in total.
  • Looked through all 13F filings for funds with large GME positions (long/short). We have a clear idea of who is on which side of this battle and what a true idiot short position looks like (hint: Melvin).
  • Gathered all Dark Pool trading data from FINRA and show massive changes in trade behaviour since Jan. Huge increases in shares traded, but each trade is of few shares. And the key players? Known short funds. Supportive evidence for naked short trades and suppression of retail buy pressure.

I encourage you to read the post and take a look at the data so you can understand it for yourself. Correct me if I'm wrong somewhere. My suggestions? HODL with patience. Take a break from ticker watching. Take a walk outside. The shorts cannot escape 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀

^(Note: this is not financial advice. I am not a cat. I read gathered some data, made some figures and tried to understand them. Any number of my interpretations could be flawed and wrong. Do your own research, make your own mind up.)

Introduction

In this post I build an AI to detect suspicious Deep ITM Calls volumes used to hide FTDs. Take a look at historical options data to show recent fuckery in the options consistent with naked shorting tricks. And then compare these trends with Dark Pool trading volumes by known short funds.

The post will be broken down into the following sections:

  1. An AI to [detect Deep ITM calls](https://preview.redd.it/4g8izd9godu61.png?width=4500&format=png&auto=webp&s=be0dc2f3937cb05045
... keep reading on reddit ➡

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📰︎ r/Superstonk
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👤︎ u/broccaaa
📅︎ Apr 21 2021
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A woman battling breast cancer married the love of her life on December 22, just 18 hours before passing away. The couple wed at a hospital chapel in Connecticut.
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👤︎ u/NRGpop
📅︎ Mar 24 2021
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You guys are family, what the hell. 365 days ago, I broke free from Alcohol! We were married for over 20 years, it was time. Anyway, feeling fortunate and want anyone who may be struggling to know you are worth it, fight for your freedom!! 🦍🦍💪💪❤️❤️🚀🚀🚀🚀
👍︎ 7k
📰︎ r/Superstonk
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📅︎ Apr 28 2021
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Getting Married On The 4th :)
👍︎ 20k
📰︎ r/StarWars
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📅︎ Apr 30 2021
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I married my best friend today! reddit.com/gallery/moijva
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👤︎ u/bunnybee13
📅︎ Apr 11 2021
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Today 20 years ago at the strike of midnight, the mayor of Amsterdam married 4 gay couples as the Netherlands became the first country in the world to legalise same-sex marriage imgur.com/HEeDUCx
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📰︎ r/europe
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📅︎ Apr 01 2021
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A fall in women having children or getting married, is not ‘a problem’. It shows that since women gained more choice how many in the past were forced to become pregnant and forced into unhappy marriages. It’s not a problem, it’s a sign of freedom
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📅︎ Apr 03 2021
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Muslim mob attacked Delhi's Sarai kale khan's Dalit Dominated locality last night after a Hindu boy of the area married a Muslim girl v.redd.it/zaqokdafuko61
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👤︎ u/Worldly_gh
📅︎ Mar 22 2021
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Married people of Reddit, what was the moment that made you go, "this is definitely the person I am going to spend the rest of my life with"?
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📰︎ r/AskReddit
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👤︎ u/Necochan
📅︎ Apr 10 2021
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Newt Gingrich: Biden attacks "traditional" Americans by flying gay flags at embassies | The thrice-married Republican adulterer wants to lecture everyone on traditional White American Jesus values while ignoring his own personal failings friendlyatheist.patheos.c…
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📰︎ r/atheism
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👤︎ u/mepper
📅︎ Apr 26 2021
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TIL in 1996, a 'fan' of serial killer Richard Ramirez married him in prison. However, she broke up with him in 2009 when DNA evidence showed that, in addition to the 13 adults he murdered, he also killed a 9-year-old girl. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ric…
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👤︎ u/iajzz
📅︎ Apr 20 2021
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Got married today and got the first look on video. I was genuinely awestruck at how beautiful my wife looked, I’m such a lucky man! v.redd.it/2gdjh1d8m1v61
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📰︎ r/aww
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👤︎ u/APX5LYR_2
📅︎ Apr 24 2021
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My husband & I when we were 14 & 15, circa 2007. He was a skater boy, I said see ya l8r boy, then married him.
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📅︎ Apr 21 2021
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My partner and I can't get married irl in our country, so we did it in-game. I was mad because I had secretly crafted a ring to propose before my fav event (Dance of the Moonlight Jellies) and this idiot ruined my plans by cornering me with a ring a week before that. Happy lesbian visibility week!
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📅︎ Apr 27 2021
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A bride leaving her recently bombed home to get married in London, 1940.
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👤︎ u/iklegemma
📅︎ Apr 18 2021
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That’s how long y’all been married or?
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👤︎ u/und3rta1e
📅︎ Apr 14 2021
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Feeling lucky and just watched my seventh ex get married while I cry, hit me with your best shot
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📰︎ r/RoastMe
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📅︎ Apr 04 2021
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TIL in 2018, the US hit a record high of never-married adults. 35% of Americans ages 25 to 50 had never been married, compared to 9% in 1970. ifstudies.org/blog/the-sh…
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👤︎ u/iajzz
📅︎ Apr 05 2021
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Newly married, experiencing marital rape. I don’t know what to do

I’ve been married for about a month. When my husband and I were dating about 2 years ago, one night I woke up to him penetrating me. I was upset and explained to him that he didn’t have my consent and could never do that again. I chucked it up to an honest/drunken mistake.

Fast forward to our recent honeymoon. He did it again. On the second night of our honeymoon, we had a disagreement and he slept in the other room. I wake up in the middle of the night and he is having sex with me while I’m sleeping. I get extremely upset and tell him again that this is rape and i am not okay with it and it can NEVER happen again. We had just got married and on our honeymoon, so i essentially just let it go.

Less than a month later (tonight), before going to bed, i had been talking to him about an incident when i was 15 where i was almost raped but the guy’s uncle heard my screaming and saved me. He knows the story, i told him before. It randomly came up due to some post we’d seen on FB. Eventually i go to bed, just to awaken to him having sex with me while I slept a couple hours later! How could he do something like this AGAIN, and after literally talking about a sad time in my life where I was sexually assaulted and almost raped as a virgin teenager.

I am extremely disgusted, disappointed, angry, feeling betrayed in the worse way. I feel ashamed and don’t want to tell anyone I know and i am seriously considering divorce. I don’t know what to do and i just feel lost. This is a pattern and I honestly feel like if I continue this marriage, it will just happen again in the future. I just don’t know what to do moving forward.

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📰︎ r/Marriage
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📅︎ Apr 28 2021
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This is the last picture I have of my little sister. She passed away on 4/18 from complications with COVID. Our family was surrounding her as the machines were turned off. She spent two months in the ICU. Today is her 30th birthday. She was engaged to be married in May 2022.
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📰︎ r/lastimages
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👤︎ u/Gussaroo
📅︎ Apr 23 2021
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I didn't realize how important physical attraction was before getting married

I got married some 8 or 9 months ago. My partner and I have a lot in common, and they are in a lot of ways a very good, caring person.

But I think I seriously underestimated how important physical attraction is for a long-term relationship. I don't see her sexually anymore, and we hardly ever have sex more than once a week, and when we do it's pretty mechanical and boring. I realize it's not her fault, but it just feels like overnight, my libido is just gone. I miss sex, but I'm not even horny anymore. I'm young, but I just feel old already without sex in my life.

Edit: Didn't realize this would get so big. For obvious reasons, I didn't and won't give out much more information.

I'm thankful for all of the helpful suggestions, and surprised at how many strange, presumptuous, and mean comments there are. Please don't assume the worst in others before you comment, and everyone's personal life is different. Good people can love each other and still have problems, and just because you think a certain way doesn't mean everyone else does!

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📅︎ Mar 24 2021
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Married at first sight - S08E32 - live episode discussion

The end is here y'all! Enjoy discussing tonights final episode for MAFS 2021 ❤

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📰︎ r/MAFS_AU
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👤︎ u/lalasmooch
📅︎ Apr 18 2021
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Do guardians get married?

I know guardians date as we seen with Eriana-3 and Wei Ning, (possibly crow and amanda) and in another timeline osiris and saint-14

but are there any lore on guardians that get married? and can guardians have kids?

i know it's a silly question but i'm really curious.

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📅︎ Apr 28 2021
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[Rapoport] Presumptive No. 1 pick #Clemson QB Trevor Lawrence won’t be in Indy for the exams for a pretty good reason — He’s getting married to his long-time girlfriend Marissa Mowry this weekend. Lawrence is recovering from a torn labrum in his left shoulder, but rehab is going very well. twitter.com/rapsheet/stat…
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📰︎ r/nfl
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👤︎ u/Isaythree
📅︎ Apr 08 2021
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Ducklings, your Dad (39) and I (44) got married! It is OK to live life on your own timeline. Make up your own milestones! Fall in love a few times! Take chances, follow your own passions and grow into yourself. Marry late, or not at all. But whatever you do, do it with the people who make you laugh. reddit.com/gallery/mwx17d
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📅︎ Apr 23 2021
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Not getting married was the best decision I ever made

Me (29M) and my partner (28F) met 8 years ago just before I graduated and we clicked almost immediately. A few months after I graduated, she and her 3 year old son moved in with me. Right after graduating, I started making low 6 figures working for a large bank and then went on to do my own thing having a very lucrative career. My income was more than enough to support the 3 of us so I was comfortable letting her stay home, work on her hobbies and volunteering.

I thought our relationship was going well, she's been pressing me to get married for the last 4 years but the time never seemed right because I wanted to get my own business off of the ground first and she seemed comfortable with that. Last week, she asked me what I thought about open relationships and whether we could open ours. I know why she asked, I spend a lot of time travelling for work and she probably wants some action on the side while I'm away working, hell she might already have something on the side. I knew right then we were done but I needed to find out how screwed I was before pulling the trigger.

I set up a meet with a lawyer my friend knew and I have to admit I was scared, I'd heard stories of how men were raked over the coals in divorces all the time so I walked into the lawyer's office expecting to lose 50% of everything and more. At first things looked bleak but then he asked how long we had been married. When I told him that we weren't married, he called me "The luckiest mf to ever walk into his office". Common law marriage doesn't exist here which means that when we split up, she gets precisely...nothing...zero...zip...nada. I'm trying to figure out the best time to tell her we're done but that's all I have to say. Not getting married was the smartest decision I've ever made.

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📅︎ Mar 14 2021
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Woman who got married young (early 20s) what are the pros and cons of this decision?
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📰︎ r/AskWomen
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📅︎ Apr 16 2021
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I just married Emily too. So I feel I deserve that from him.
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📅︎ Apr 30 2021
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Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip, married since 1947.
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👤︎ u/Hezha98
📅︎ Apr 09 2021
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Couples with large income disparities, has it stopped you from wanting to get married and/or share finances?

My boyfriend (36m) and I (29f) have been dating for 5 years and we have large income differences. My NW is around 1.2 million and I earn roughly $400k per year. He has 30k in debt and earns around $80k per year.

I love him and we’ve been together 5 years. From the beginning, I said I never want to get married and he said he’s okay with that, as we both don’t come from happy families, and he’s ambivalent about marriage too. We both don’t want kids.

The thought of being legally bound to someone for the rest of my life scares the beejesus out of me. I know first-hand how fast and unpredictably feelings and people can change, and how expensive and financially devastating divorces can be, especially for the higher-earning partner. That said, I do see a (hopefully) long and happy monogamous relationship for us.

Given that we don’t want kids, I never want to get married or share finances. I am about to buy a house and when I do, my boyfriend can live there rent-free or contribute to groceries. When we vacation, I don’t mind paying the bulk of it. If he wants my financial advice I am more than happy to help advise and/or maybe even help pay off some of his student loans.

But in no way do I want to share my money with him (or anyone) in the sense that my take-home salary is now jointly ours and belongs to both of us. And in the case where if we break up, I would have to owe him anything or split any of my current assets.

Am I being selfish? One of my friends was saying the whole point of being in a relationship is that you share your wealth financially as one team. If I’m being honest, if we were in the same financial position, I think it would make a lot more sense to share things together. I do feel selfish that I am making a lot more than him and have a lot more assets and don’t want to share, but at the same time I feel like I’ve worked extremely hard to be where I am and I want to remain financially independent and in total control of my money. I’ve heard of prenups but AFAIK, in the event of a divorce all assets accumulated during the marriage would need to be split equally.

Has anyone been in a similar situation with a large income gap between partners? Anything you would or would not recommend?

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📰︎ r/fatFIRE
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📅︎ Apr 29 2021
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I'm married. So I just jokingly described my husband.
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📰︎ r/niceguys
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📅︎ Mar 18 2021
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“Its not normal to be married and sleep in different rooms”

MIL, it’s very normal when you have a toddler with separation anxiety who wakes up with shaking and in tears if he’s by himself in the middle of the night. Right now, its easier for EVERYONE if he sleeps in bed with me. We prefer that over the broken-hearted-panic-attack-crying and nobody sleeping.

AND a husband who coughs his lungs up all night after being destroyed by coronavirus.

It’s also hella normal for a lot of other married couples. Everyone has a different situation they’re comfortable with. Just because its not what you do doesn’t mean it’s not NoRmAL

You worry about your sleeping arrangements, we’ll worry about ours.

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📰︎ r/JUSTNOMIL
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👤︎ u/pizlur
📅︎ Apr 26 2021
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Why is everyone on AITA married/engaged by 22?

Is it because most stories are teens writing fiction, so they pick an “adult” age? Even when I was in high school, I never imagined getting married before my late twenties. Is it regional? I’m in New York and none of my friends got married til our 30s. A 22 year old saying “my husband” is so foreign to me.

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📅︎ Apr 23 2021
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(Spoilers Extended) Would Robert have been physically abusive towards Lyanna as he is towards Cersei if they’d ended up married?

Though Lyanna and Cersei are drastically different, they are both women with strong opinions and desire to accomplish what in Westeros is considered a man’s duties. Just judging by this, do you guys think that a couple years down the line Robert would have been abusive towards Lyanna too?

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📰︎ r/asoiaf
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📅︎ Apr 18 2021
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A woman battling breast cancer married on December 22, just 18 hours before passing away
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📰︎ r/pics
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📅︎ Mar 28 2021
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I wish I could’ve married young

I hate the dating scene. When you get past your mid 20s everyone you meet brings baggage. I just wish I could’ve met someone in high school or college and got married young.

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👤︎ u/doodoowa
📅︎ Apr 29 2021
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Married Her on 1/23/21 & I Couldn't Be Happier <3
👍︎ 73k
📰︎ r/pics
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📅︎ Feb 12 2021
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Sub-Zero over here happily married
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📅︎ Apr 30 2021
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Married people of reddit, what was your first impression of your spouse?
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📰︎ r/AskReddit
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📅︎ Mar 31 2021
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TIL that Ireland has the oldest average age at first marriage of any country. The average Irish citizen gets married for the first time at age 35. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lis…
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📅︎ Mar 24 2021
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How I accidentally married a moth

>be me

>play in a dnd 5e homebrew campaign

>trapped with party in a magical forest huddled around a campfire

>hear talking and rustling from bush

>tell whatever is in there to get out and show themself

>intimidation success

>she steps out to reveal she is a homebrew moth folk race that lives in the forest

>interrogation start

>my character gets fed up she hasn't given her name yet and decides to just to call her Fluffy

>she blushes and says that her name is now Fluffy

>confused

>interrogation now recommencing

>find out in moth folk culture giving one a name is a marriage proposal and accepting the name means marriage

>fuck

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👤︎ u/JLOPZ05
📅︎ Apr 25 2021
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I got married to my soulmate yesterday
👍︎ 13k
📰︎ r/lgbt
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👤︎ u/ghynnek
📅︎ Apr 10 2021
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My wife has had this photo frame hanging on the wall for too long without any pictures in it. Tonight, after she went to sleep, I decided to take this matter into my own hands...I’ll let you know tomorrow if I’m still married.
👍︎ 19k
📰︎ r/funny
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📅︎ Mar 26 2021
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TIL a married couple was hired by the MLB from 1981-2004 to draw up each season's baseball schedule. They were responsible for scheduling 2,430 games played by 30 teams. everythingzoomer.com/arts…
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👤︎ u/_partyof5_
📅︎ Apr 18 2021
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The naked shorting scam revealed: lending of market maker privileges, the married put trade and why inflicting max pain will bleed them dry

UPDATE-4: As soon as someone looked we found millions of naked shorts hidden deep in the call options. The activity is continuing and appears to ramp up as the next FTD cycle approaches. The weird call interest appears to clearly correlate with rising price action and 'closing' of reported FTD volumes. https://www.reddit.com/r/GME/comments/mhv22h/the_si_is_fake_i_found_44000000_million_shorts/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

UPDATE-3: I think I put too much emphasis on the max pain theory. Options from naked short trades expiring could hurt the short hedges but the real time bomb is in the FTDs piling up. Take a look at https://iamnotafinancialadvisor.com/discord/DD/og/GMEv13.pdf for the description and DD pdf

UPDATE-2: A new post that investigates how the scam could work with updated rules in 2021 is now online: The naked shorting scam update: selling nude like its 2021

UPDATE: This post was removed because the paper was hosted on an unfortunate website. This has now been corrected. I also want to point out that the sources used here are old, some rules have since changed. But read this and think if another version of this scam might be possible in 2021. Would funds be tempted to use such a scam for easy profits? Would desperate players be willing to break the law to hide short behaviour? I'll leave the answer up to you.

TLDR: Naked short selling privileges could be being illegally lent to short hedge funds by market makers. The married put trade and the even sneakier reverse conversion modification of the trade are described. These types of trade explain:

  • how short interest has been manipulated in official reporting numbers
  • how naked short selling has become so widespread
  • why borrow fees can still be so ridiculously low
  • that the vast majority of options (both puts and calls) might be due to naked short selling
  • how short shares are 'washed' and able to be dumped on the market even during SSR
  • why such a large number of way out of the money calls have been seen recently (actually part of a naked short trick, not long whales or gamma ramps)

Looking at open put interest naked shorts sold might be at least 150-200% of float!

With patience key options used for the manipulation will expire and the house of cards will collapse. Every time we hit max pain the shorts' pain increases. HODL!!

🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀�

... keep reading on reddit ➡

👍︎ 13k
📰︎ r/GME
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👤︎ u/broccaaa
📅︎ Mar 30 2021
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Married at first sight - S08E31 - live episode discussion
👍︎ 46
📰︎ r/MAFS_AU
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👤︎ u/lalasmooch
📅︎ Apr 14 2021
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The Most Manipulated Stock - A GME comprehensive DD about OTC data, wash sales, married puts, FTDs & dark pools

It's not at all new information that GME is being f*cked with in about every single way imaginable. This is a comprehensive DD that combs through key data and looks at Citadel's prior infractions in order to make connections with how Shitadel and friends have been influencing $GME price action.

This DD is meant to be as approachable as possible to be friendly toward our new apes and those without many wrinkles.

Some disclaimers before we begin:

  • I am not a financial advisor and this is not investment advice.
  • To the best of my knowledge the information in this post is accurate, but I am more than capable of making mistakes so feel free to correct me if there are errors & I am happy to edit this post.

GME: The Most Manipulated Stock

Contents:

  1. OTC data
  2. Wash Sales
  3. ATS data/dark pools
  4. Married Puts
  5. FTDs. Seriously where the fuck are these shares???

Controlling the price: OTC Volume on GME

  • OTC or “Over the counter” trading is a type of trade between two parties without the supervision of an exchange. It should really be called “behind the black curtain” trading to be more accurate to its name.
  • GME OTC volume as % of float in February 2021 was 234x higher than the average volume as % float for Dow 30 stocks. GME Traded at 655% of the float via OTC. Meanwhile average OTC trading volume for Dow 30 in Feb was roughly 2.8% as a percentage of float.
  • A public stock exchange has the benefit of facilitating liquidity, providing transparency, and maintaining the current market price. In an OTC trade, the price is not necessarily publicly disclosed. Why does this matter? When the price is not publicly disclosed, OTC can be a way to route buy orders to suppress them from affecting the price of the security.
  • OTCs, like dark pools, are designed to limit transparency and prevent the transfer of shares from affecting the price listed on public exchanges. It is easy for a market maker like Citadel to route retail buy orders through the OTC because they use PFOF (payment for order flow) with a large number of retail brokers (ie Citadel paying Robinhood etc to route orders where they want orders to go and give investors unfair prices. They make a lot of money from this.) More info on PFOF and how it's been
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