Not sure if I’m allowed to post this story that I just read, but it’s so perfect for this subreddit I have to share it!
Delete if not appropriate
Today is the day I finally made it public. I felt my heart race all day, but I had the courage to put a picture without my scarf on my social media! All my social media.
I was planning this for months and now it happened! I'm so relieved and happy!
My entire family and friend group saw, but they didnt comment on it yet. Only one hijabi cousin wants to meet with me tomorrow, which is kinda awkward. Feels a little intruding.. and forced. What do I do about her? How do I deal with family that approaches me in the future? Any advice from someone who went through this?
Edit: Thank you so much for the help everyone :)
Edit: Wow - I am so overwhelmed with the awards, comments and messages I am receiving. Thank you so so much for listening. I'm so happy have this community - and thank you to those who show women like me that we have a place here too! (and edit 2: minor typos, forgotten words)
I've been lurking here for a while, but it's only now I feel ready to share my story so please bear with me and note that my experience is not universal. Let me preface this rant by explaining that I'm a Muslim woman of color working in academia who grew up in Europe. I decided to wear my headscarf before going to college because I actually was suspended in high school for wearing it one day (my parents sued the school and thankfully, I was able to go back and finish high school). My parents had immigrated to Germany and let me decide what to do and how to reconcile my faith with being European. What sparked the urge to even try wearing headscarf amongst other things was the sexual harrassment I felt from my male peers in school at a time when I knew what was happening was wrong, but I could not exactly name why just yet. My breasts started developing very early when I was 10 and as the only POC of Middle Eastern origin in school, I was "the right kind of exotic; just dark enough and still 'normal' hair without being black - like Caramel" as my white classmates so 'charmingly' described me. I can't even name the layers of adultification, racism, and sexism in that one sentence.
Anyhow, I felt my body became public property by the time I was 13; guys and male teachers leering my chest (one teacher was actually known for giving you better grades if you had bigger breasts), touching it, or trying to convince me to wear low-cut tops. Everyone tells you to take this kind of attention as compliment, and because it was so unanimous with girls being jealous of this kind of attention and guys tripping over their dicks to talk to me, sadly I tolerated it thinking "okay, maybe it is a compliment". This was in the early to mid 2000s - before social media, or any discourse that could have taught me otherwise. I just knew that I felt like I was only renting my body, not owning it. That somehow I always felt eyes leering at me like regardless of what I was doing and that I felt powerless about it. I did not have a name for this, I just knew I felt miserable and wanted a fresh start. I marked that fresh start by going to university with a headscarf.
I anticipated some questions or racist comme... keep reading on reddit ➡
Hi I don't mean to be offensive but I am actually talking about myself here too. For religious reasons, I cover my hair. I have noticed that I look 10 times better with it on than without. Is there some underlying looks theory?
I realize quite often a lot of Msulims tend to call the headscarf a hijab rather than what it's actually called, the khimaar. Since the topic on hijab is heavily debated these days specifically a woman's awrah, why don't we change our language and call it khimaar instead of hijab and when or where did labelling the headscarf (khimaar) first start being called the hijab?
Just wanting to share some thoughts/vent ... and ask if anyone else is experiencing the same.
I’ve been searching on and off for most of this year using Muslim marriage apps, websites and rishta aunties. I live in the UK for context but have found a lot of guys are put off by the headscarf? Like they actively say they are looking for someone who doesn’t wear it. I have had comments where they are insecure about me potentially being more religious and someone even said to me it’s 2020, and people don’t wear it now a days. I have also had comments asking if me showing a pic with no headscarf was okay before marriage?!
I didn’t think wearing a headscarf was that rare but now I’m confused... rejection due to wearing something that is a commandment from Allah really annoys me 🌚
I know someone is likely to say “you are matching with the wrong people, they aren’t as religious etc etc”... I have used a fairly religious website and have found a lot of them are looking for someone who is almost a finished package in terms of abaya, Islamic knowledge etc. Obviously matched religiosity is important, for me it’s a personal journey. Having a good heart, being a good person and praying regularly throughout the day is a good start... anything else can be built on.
I’m not even going to lie, it is making me feel abit 🙄. As if the wave of hijabi YouTubers transitioning wasn’t triggering enough.
Anyways, let me know your thoughts!
*** edit: just an FYI....don’t DM me, I won’t respond. Have some respect.
Hi everyone! So I have curly hair (lol why I’m in the group) and I’m really interested in wearing headscarves, like putting my hair in a bun and almost wearing it like a headband, but I’m kinda worried because I wanna make sure I wouldn’t offend anyone! This may be a stupid post-but I just want to be respectful. 🥺😊❤️
I am a non-Muslim who wants to start wearing a headscarf. I am really drawn to 'hijab' styles and would probably wear a sport hijab when running. I understand I might get mistaken for being Muslim, and although that is not super concerning for me, I want to make sure I present myself in a way so that if people do think that I am not mocking the practice of hijab. I do not swear or drink, and I don't like showing a lot of skin, however I've realized lots of my clothes are form-fitting. So my question is what 'level' of modesty is acceptable? Can I wear a knee length skirt if I have opaque leggings underneath? Can I wear leggings when going for a jog? I really don't have an attitude where I am trying to bring attention to myself. Does intention count for modesty?
Any help or comments would be appreciated!