Apologies if this is written poorly, my mind is a jumble at the moment.
For context, my family has always been very close knit. We aren't allowed to finish any argument, no matter how bad, without saying I love you. Hugs are given often. We generally get along really well.
About a week ago my family all got together for dinner. This included my 6yo nephew and 2yo niece. My niece is still very attached to her mother at the moment, and usually tries to stay as close to her as possible. My dad has always liked spending time with the kids in our family, and my niece/his granddaughter has quickly become his favorite.
After dinner was over we all sat around in the living room and talked. At some point, my dad asked my niece if he could pick her up. She said "No. I want to see mommy." He then proceeded to pick her up regardless, which elicited a lot of protest from her. She cried and told him she wanted him to get off, to which he responded with a "Noooo."
After a few seconds of crying niece I spoke up. I told my dad "If she says to get off of her, you should get off of her. Just because she's little doesn't mean you can ignore her boundaries." He set her back down, but got pretty upset with me. We went back and forth for a few minutes. I tried to get the point across to him that we should teach her that her words have meaning, and no means no. He told me I was overreacting and that she knew he wouldn't do anything to hurt her in any way.
All of this hit me pretty hard. In the past few years, I've made some massive changes to myself as a person, and seen firsthand how fragile consent and boundaries can be when someone is determined not to listen to either. In the heat of the moment, all I could think about was the message my dads actions were telling my niece. I want her to grow up and know that her words have purpose and meaning.
After my brother and his family left, my mom pulled me aside and told me that I had been a bit harsh, and that I could have been nicer in explaining it to my dad. I left to drive home pretty frustrated, but a week or so removed, I'm starting to wonder if I'm the asshole?
I (M18) had to explain to my mom that although I love my niece, she is not someone I really think about or care to spend time with. To clarify my niece is about 6 months old and her mom, my sister who’s in her 20s have never had a great relationship.
Recently I found out my sister has been expressing to my mom that she gets upset about the way I am around her baby. Her complaint is that I seem don’t care or say hi to the baby when ever she comes over, truthfully I’m very indifferent to her presence because she is a baby. I told my mom this and she was shocked to here how I could say such a thing. That she was my relative and that I was hurting my sister more than I could imagine by basically not having my life revolve around the baby.
To be clear I’ve always been like this with babies I don’t see how because this one is related to me my feeling should change. I believe that this is really my sister feeling upset that I’ve not been participating in this congratulatory circle jerk the rest of my family seems to have been having because she decided to get pregnant.
I have two children. One son, one daughter. My daughter is terminally ill and so am I. It is unfortunate, I know.
My will was set to distribute 50% of my belongings/net worth to each of my children. This would've equated to each of them getting around $500,000. It seems quite possible that my daughter will end up dying before me now. This week I adjusted my will so that if my daughter dies before me, her daughter (my granddaughter, a 20 year old) will not be getting $500,000. I am still leaving her 10% which will be $100,000 (roughly). The remaining 40% will instead be going to my surviving son and then he can disperse it however he wants when he dies eventually which could be decades from now. My son has 5 children.
My daughter thinks this is insane and unfair and thinks that her daughter should be getting the full $500k that my daughter would be getting if she was alive when I die. If I die before my daughter then she will get the $500k and then when she dies she would presumably give it to her daughter anyway which is out of my control.
This is causing some huge contempt from my daughters side of the family. I dont at all think it is right to be leaving a 20 year old girl $500k and essentially setting her for life and ruining any motivation to achieve anything in her life. On top of that, the main reason I dont think it would be right is because of all the grandchildren I have on my sons side. I can imagine giving my grandaughter $500k while giving them nothing could cause a large amount of jealousy and issues between them. Yes, you could argue that if my son doesnt blow through his inheritance, his kids will eventually be getting the remainder, but my son is extremely healthy and by the time he dies his kids may be well into their 40s or 50s where a windfall wont be as lifechanging. It just doesnt seem right to me at all to set one grandchild for life while giving all the other grandkids nothing essentially. Am I wrong for this?
Like I said, my daughter is livid, but I think this is the right call. I would love some differing opinions even if they dont agree with me. If you do agree with me I would like to hear why as well. This has all caused a great deal of stress between us but Its my money ive earned and I decided it myself. Its not too late to change my will.
You guys are gonna think I'm making shit up, but I legitimately dated JJ Bittenbinder's granddaughter in high school. When I saw that bit for the first time I was thinking "no way, my girlfriends last name is Bittenbinder, what a weird coincidence" So I texted her the video and she was like "ya that's my grandpa" and sent me a pic of him with the family. Its a smaller world out there than people think lol.
My 21 year old granddaughter had her wisdom teeth removed yesterday. For reasons unknown to me, she chose to have a general anesthetic despite being offered local only. Since she had general and her mom was unable to stay home with her during the day, I took her home to spend the night with me. This morning, I fed her breakfast and sat at the table with her. I tried to engage her in conversation when she said "I need to chew and my throat hurts. Don't make me talk." I told her to stop being surly toward me.
My husband believes I was too harsh with her and should have left her alone. I believe meal time is social time and one needs to be social anytime someone else wishes to socialize. She barely ate half of her food after 45 minutes of taking small bites anyway, so she didn't do much chewing.
My daughter is only 5 now. For a while she's been asking us when she can drive, and I didn't realize it was because of nonsense from her Grandma until MIL brought this up over Christmas dinner.
MIL: You'll learn how to drive when you're 10. I'll teach you.
Me (laughingly): No, you'll learn at 15.
MIL (ignoring me): I'll teach you. You can learn at 10. Your father was driving at 10. I've taught lots of people how to drive.
Me (more serious): Won't be happening.
MIL: Sometimes you have to keep secrets. But I'll teach you. I'll teach you how to drive a standard. How to start and stop before the lake (emphasis mine)....(etc)
Yes, this lady flat-out expressed a desire to deceive me and convince my daughter to deceive me so she can commit completely illegal and potentially life-threatening acts with my daughter--in front of me at Christmas dinner. Mind you that my daughter is a spaz who refuses to even wipe properly, won't flush the toilet, won't brush her teeth--i.e. she lags and basically rebels against all good advice given to her. And this crazy lady wants to put her behind the wheel of a vehicle at ten and take her driving by a lake. And no, she wasn't just being cutesy or making a joke.
I'm like--on the one hand, I'm not going to sit here at the dinner table on Christmas and argue with you about stuff five years in the future. On the other hand--get the fuck out of here with that nonsense, lady. It really made me wonder what other nonsense she's been filling my daughter's head with as they've been seeing more of each other lately. Made me wonder what other crap she's planning to pull. I fully expect she will give my daughter alcohol by the time she's 16, if she even waits that long. Will potentially do the same with marijuana, though she might be so courteous as to wait until 18 for that. She uses R-rated language around her with no hesitation. The pieces are starting to come together as to why both her sons ended up drug addicts before 20 (and still are to this day) and how one was molesting the other when they were kids--was most likely not just an accidental tragedy but the results of a laissez faire "rules be damned" attitude from the mom.
I felt like I should thank her for being so upfront about being untrustworthy. It will give me a good opportunity to discuss with my daughter how when an adult asks her to "keep a secret", it usually means they have bad intentions and you should definitely tell another adu... keep reading on reddit ➡
I (66M) have five daughters - three from my first marriage and two from my second marriage.
My eldest daughter Erin(36F), hasn't spoken to me since her wedding four years ago. She invited my younger daughters to her wedding, however my wife and I thought it was inappropriate for them to go. My divorce from my first wife wasn't very amicable, and she ended up making a scene and crying in front of our mutual friends. She also played hardball with the divorce and got most of our marital assets, which I think was more than fair. My ex's sister also verbally assaulted me once while the divorce was ongoing and I had to hide in the bathroom to get away from her. My eldest from my second marriage is very sensitive, and I thought it was very likely that one or both of these women would create a scene which would traumatise her.
When Erin called up to confirm numbers for the wedding, I explained that my daughters wouldn't be attending, and I explained why. I figured that Erin would understand, since she's always been good about this kind of thing. For example, when my wife and I chose to only include our children in our wedding photos, Erin was the only one of my daughters who understood why. Erin had also been the daughter who contacted me the most often, so I figured we had a good relationship to fall back on. I paid for her education and wedding dress too, so she's gotten a lot from me as well.
Well, Erin was furious. She shouted at me over the phone (I was calm and polite throughout), tried to blackmail me into bringing her sisters, and also got her mother to contact me and try to convince me to change my mind. She also said that if my younger daughters couldn't come if her aunt was there, then she'd uninvite her aunt, but I told her not to do that, because I didn't want to ruin her wedding. And besides, her mother was a problem as well, so it didn't matter if her aunt was there or not, my younger daughters still couldn't come to the wedding.
I ended up going to the wedding with just my wife, and it was lovely. Erin spoke to me for about ten minutes during the reception, so I thought that she had gotten over her previous nonsense. However she hasn't tried to call me or text me since. I called a couple of times, but she didn't answer, so I stopped trying. Erin avoided me at my 3rd daughter Lara's wedding, so it seemed pretty clear that she wasn't interested in talking to me..
Erin gave birth to her first child a couple of years ago. She didn't call me to te... keep reading on reddit ➡
I've posted about my Qultist father here before. He took a turn in 2018 hard once he got sucked into a YouTube hole and fell into the QAnon shit. He was once a small r republican, and successful VP level tech guy. Now he's a sad, unemployed, fearful shell of a man.
I still use him and my mother (who is not a Qultist but decides to take the path of least resisance) for babysitting when I need multi-day assistance with my 2 year old son.
Well, he of course is a Covid denier and everything that comes with that, but we have been tiptoeing around getting into an argument with him for the past month since I needed them to watch my son while my wife and I go to the hospital to have our daughter. I don't really have a better option yet.
All went well, and they came over to drop my son off today and see the baby. I told them the rule is that they have to wear a mask to hold my daughter, no exceptions.
He made a face, started to say something, and I very firmly reminded him its my house, my kid, my rules, and zero exceptions.
He decided to sit on the couch and frown while the rest of us took turns holding the baby, and enjoying a truly magical part of life.
He chose to pass up holding his newborn granddaughter because the internet told him that the masks are a hoax.
I was afraid of that, and it happened.
My only hope is one day he will come out of it at some point, and I can remind him of today and how bad he hurt me, again.
I hate this cult so much for what it has done to my family and all of yours.
Edit: to everyone giving me grief for letting him in my house in the first place- thats the line in the sand I chose to draw. I weighed the risks, the rewards, the potential blowback, and the future fallout. Judge not. You don't know the entire picture.
If you would like any specific questions asked, post them to her FB page here:
Security checking in patients at the ER for the patient registration.
Patient: I don't feel good.
Guard: Okay. (Gets name and other needed information writing down on the form)
Patient: I had a headache earlier.
Patient: My grandma gave me codeine for my headache. And now I feel odd.
Guard: crickets (while trying to keep a straight face, writes down what patient said)
That was a big pikachu face. 😱
EDIT: Codeine is prescription only and a controlled substance... an opiod.
EDIT: Thank you so much to everyone! The amount of support is astounding. Apparently I let Kathy’s words get to me more than I should have, and I plan to ignore her from now on. I brought in my mug today, it just says Grandma and my husband has a matching one that says Grandpa. I did show this post to Jeff and he’s already looking for more ‘Grandma’ stuff to get me, so thanks to u/QuixoticLogophile for the idea.
For now I’m not going to take anything to HR, but if Kathy does or says anything else I will bring it to their attention.
Also, since a couple of people asked, Jeff’s mother died in a car accident when he was 6. I don’t know how she’d feel about me being Grandma but I can hope she’d be okay with it.
My coworker has gotten in my head and now I feel torn, hopefully you guys can give me some clarity.
I (32f) have been married to my husband, Adam (52), for 5 years, together 7. He has a son, Jeff, who is 27. Now, Jeff and I are fairly close. He has liked me from the beginning, despite the weird ages going on, and we definitely consider each other family. It’s not a mother-son bond, he was 20 and an adult when Adam and I got together, and though he lived with us for a time, it would feel weird to call him my son. (I do refer to him as my stepson around other people, mostly because it’s more succinct than ‘my husband’s son’)
Jeff moved in with a girl, Alice, and in 2017 they had a baby, Aurora. The first time we got to meet her, Jeff called my husband “Grandpa” of course but then he looked at me and called me “Grandma” and I couldn’t have been happier. I’ve been Grandma ever since. Although Aurora says it more like “Gamma”.
I don’t want kids of my own but I’m pretty obsessed with their baby girl, not gonna lie.
So anyways, on to the actual event. I started a new job last week. It was going well, I was getting along with everyone, and even making friends with the woman in the office next to mine. Let’s call her Kathy (50s).
On Friday, Kathy invited me out for drinks with a few other people in the office. I was happy to be included, but told her maybe next time because Friday was Aurora’s third birthday and we were having a little get together in the evening to celebrate. I used the words, “my granddaughter’s birthday” and let me tell you, shit hit the fan.
Kathy’s mouth fell open and she sputtered for a minute before saying, “But you don’t look old enough to be a grandmother!”. Which, clearly I’m not. I’m used to people being confused by... keep reading on reddit ➡
I(f73) am retired and 6 years ago moved to be near my daughter and her family. My granddaughter (f13) has been experiencing symptoms of emotional issues serious enough that my daughter & s-i-l (both age 50) arranged for her to see a therapist specialist in adolescent patients. Daughter approached me asking if I would pay the $130/week but I I offered to cover half. I am glad to help my granddaughter and I can afford that amount. I’m retired and have SocSec and a pension. I don’t live extravagantly but can pay my bills and used savings to buy a house since I moved here. I routinely and gladly have paid for various lessons for granddaughter and other costs for her benefit; I also gifted them more than $5000 and ‘lent’ them another $8,000 they did pay back $2K on that, and I settled for that. The problem is that they announced they had made reservations to go to Disney World early next year. OK, but this will be their 10th trip to Disney in 6 years, including a trip from East Coast to California to DisneyLand. They usually stay 6 to 11 days. I let them know I couldn’t continue to help out financially while they plan an expensive trip. They went 3 times this year alone. I said I thought they needed to prioritize their budget. They pointed out that when they were both laid off in March (COVID) i made $3K available in a joint account, which they haven’t needed yet, so I should make good on that offer. They’re furious and say I’m incredibly cruel to deny needed therapy. I’m about ready to give in, for my granddaughter’s sake, but I also feel like I’m being used like an ATM. Am I being the AH?
My granddaughter recommended I join this website and ask for opinions.
I'm retired and live on my own. My granddaughter moved from across the country before Coronavirus began, and when it started, she moved in with me to keep me company. She has a dog and a cat that have moved with her. She pays me $100 a week for board & lodgings.
Since July, she's been going to study four days a week, 9-3, and since September, one day of study, 9-1, and four days of work practical, 8.30-5.30.
I make her smoothies in the morning every day, but when she's at home on the weekends, she always conveniently forgets to wash out the blender. And when she has a plate of hers to wash, she never does any of the other dishes in the sink. I cook most nights and she does the dishes afterwards, but I've told her that she is to start cooking on Mondays too, since she finishes study at 1pm.
I do all the cleaning, except every second Saturday, she mops the whole house. She is to keep her two rooms clean and vacuum the floors and keep the windows open for fresh air. I do all the washing and maintenance around the house. She is to fold up her own clothes and put them away. Her dog and cat are her responsibility, she has to feed them, wash them, and clean up their poop.
But when she gets home, she immediately leaves the house to avoid helping me with cooking or folding clothes and goes for a ride with her dog. After she returns, she just eats dinner, does the dishes, and goes on her computer for the rest of the night! And on the weekends, she's always in the spare room on her computer playing games or out on her scooter with her dog.
She never says goodnight and I find her already asleep when I check in on her. She always says she's tired from practical or doing her assessments, and then she drives an hour to the city to hang out with friends or get a haircut.
She never wants to help out and it's already a hassle to get her to cook one meal a week. I started telling her to do her own washing loads, and she says she doesn't have the time or energy to do it. And when I asked her to start gardening as well, she flat out refused and said I should do it because I'm home all the time.
Am I the a**hole?
Some 92 year old grandpa from Iceland ploughed my Norwegian 19 year old granddaughter and got her pregnant while I was away raiding England. What a damn cradle-snatcher. Never seen anything like this.