TIFU by investing $2000 in a giant sperm killing machine

A few years ago my wife and I bought a house with a hot tub. We enjoyed it but after a while it developed significant issues and we found it hard to justify the expense of repairing it... we opted just to shut it down for a while.

Well, COVID hit, and I figured that being in isolation with nothing much else to do is the best time to own a working hot tub. I tried to do the repair work myself, which took a lot of time and stress, and in the end I had to have a professional do it anyways. The process ended up costing almost $2000. But, with no vacations to budget for, we figured it was a good use of our money.

And it was! We've been loving using the hot tub this winter. We regularly go out there for family time with our kids, who love being able to swim around a bit, and I regularly go out by myself at night to unwind. We have a beautiful park behind our yard that makes it an amazing spot to relax. Because of COVID I've been having long zoom calls with groups of friends, and realized I could do that from the comfort of my hot tub, which just amped up the enjoyment of both activities.

Concurrent to all of this though, my wife and I have been trying, unsuccessfully, to have another baby. The giant FU is that we didn't think, at any point, of the fact that hot tubs kill sperm. Last night as we were discussing our failures in the bedroom, it finally occurred to us that the hot tub might be a problem. I was disappointed, thinking β€œshoot I guess there will be a few days every month when I can't use it.”

Nope. We looked it up and found out that after being boiled, it takes sperm three months to "respawn" or whatever they have to do.

So until I produce a winner, I am no longer allowed in my own hot tub that I slaved (and splurged) so much to repair. It took us two years to get pregnant with our previous child. Hopefully this one comes sooner.

TL;DR fixed my hot tub, boiled my future children

Edit: lots of doubts about my semen facts... this is the source we’re using: https://www.mcgill.ca/oss/article/health/facts-and-myths-male-fertility-tight-underwear-hot-tubs-marijuana-and-more

2nd edit (I can see why people do these): we have been to fertility specialists, thank you.

Also, it looks like the hot tub factor is about a 50% impact on fertility rates, meaning no this isn’t reliable birth control!

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LPT: if you suspect you caught covid or your only other live-in partner gets symptoms before you, meal-prep and prepare. Get groceries (delivered if you can), make a giant pot of soup to last the week etc. don't wait until you're bed ridden because it will be hell

We have a bubble with one other couple and She's had symptoms since Sunday. Her bf didn't make any preparations before he started showing symptoms last night (4 days later) and now they're both stuck in bed with no energy to prepare anything that would be good for their health.

My partner started showing symptoms late last night as well so I've made enough food and got enough groceries that we won't have to prepare too much and I feel this was the right thing to do.

Good luck out there ✌️

ETA: I'm getting a lot of responses who are misunderstanding my tip so I'm gonna try to clear this up. I'm suggesting getting groceries delivered to your door so that you don't go out and infect anyone, if you don't have this option please opt for curbside pickup and avoid going in to stores or anywhere you could infect people. And I'm suggesting doing it before you show symptoms because there is a very real possibility that once you start to exhibit symptoms then you will be stuck in bed or too exhausted to do anything.

My friend had ample time to make any kind of preparations like food delivery or meal prep and he chose to do nothing and now wishes he also had done something, so I'm providing you his cautionary tale so that you don't find yourselves in this position.

Edit 2: some commenters have added some great ideas for prep: >Preparing some soup and freezing it, or some spaghetti sauce or chilli, order lots of fresh fruit and vegetables that are easy to prepare and eat, get some stuff to help manage symptoms like cough drops perhaps! Frozen food you can put in the oven is quick and simple also. Thank you! U/advice-239400

>The Voila pasta and veggie bags in the frozen veggie section are life savers!! Thanks! U/bleepin_bleep

>For anybody who's curious Walmart has a pretty good deal with "walmart+" which is basically just delivery for food and such at like 10 bucks a month and you can start a free 30 day trial with answering 3-5 questions. Thank you! U/somewhiteguys

>GrubHub and ubereats is always an option too guys if you have the means! Thanks u/supercharged0709

Thank you for everyone's input and suggestions! RIP my inbox there are way too many messages to get through so I'll save it for another day. Happy new year everyone! Happy and healthy wishes to you all, yes even the lot of you who were rude for no reason.

And thanks for the awards!

Some prep advice from u/ajwink [prepare a bug out bag](https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/koh

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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Game Thread: Dallas Cowboys at New York Giants

#Dallas Cowboys at New York Giants

MetLife Stadium- East Rutherford, NJ

Network(s): FOX


Time Clock
Final
00:29
Q1 Q2 Q3 Q4 Total
Cowboys 3 6 7 3 19
Giants 6 14 0 3 23

Last Play: END GAME

Team Type Quarter Description
NYG TD 1 (11:55) S.Shepard right end for 23 yards, TOUCHDOWN.
DAL FG 1 (5:07) G.Zuerlein 38 yard field goal is GOOD, Center-L.Ladouceur, Holder-H.Niswander.
NYG TD 2 (6:49) D.Jones pass short left to S.Shepard for 10 yards, TOUCHDOWN.
NYG PAT 2 G.Gano extra point is GOOD, Center-C.Kreiter, Holder-R.Dixon.
DAL FG 2 (2:25) G.Zuerlein 46 yard field goal is GOOD, Center-L.Ladouceur, Holder-H.Niswander.
NYG TD 2 (:52) (Shotgun) D.Jones pass deep middle to D.Pettis for 33 yards, TOUCHDOWN. Penalty on DAL-A.Smith, Illegal Use of Hands, declined. The Replay Official reviewed the runner was not down by contact ruling, and the play was Upheld. The ruling on the field stands.
NYG PAT 2 G.Gano extra point is GOOD, Center-C.Kreiter, Holder-R.Dixon.
DAL FG 2 (:04) G.Zuerlein 57 yard field goal is GOOD, Center-L.Ladouceur, Holder-H.Niswander.
DAL TD 3 (8:44) E.Elliott right guard for 1 yard, TOUCHDOWN.
DAL PAT 3 G.Zuerlein extra point is GOOD, Center-L.Ladouceur, Holder-H.Niswander.
DAL FG 4 (14:20) G.Zuerlein 36 yard field goal is GOOD, Center-L.Ladouceur, Holder-H.Niswander.
NYG FG 4 (6:32) G.Gano 50 yard field goal is GOOD, Center-C.Kreiter, Holder-R.Dixon.
Team Penalties Penalty Yards Rushing Yards Passing Yards First Downs
Cowboys 6 58 108 199 26
Giants 6 45 125 211 22

^This ^was ^created ^by ^a ^bot. ^For ^issues ^or ^suggestions ^please ^message ^/u/nfl_gdt_bot. ^NFL ^changed ^a ^lot ^during ^the ^offseason ^so ^improvements ^will ^be ^made ^during ^the ^season

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Game Thread: Cleveland Browns (9-4) at New York Giants (5-8)

Cleveland Browns at New York Giants


  • MetLife Stadium
  • East Rutherford, New Jersey

######

First Second Third Fourth Final
Giants 3 0 0 3 6
Browns 0 13 0 7 20

######


  • General information

Coverage Odds
NBC N.Y. Giants +6.5 O/U 44.5
Weather
36Β°F/Wind 3mph/Fair/No precipitation expected



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Game Thread: Dallas Cowboys at New York Giants (Week 17, 2020)

C/ATT (%) YDs (/PA) TD-INT RTG (QBR) C/ATT (%) YDs (/PA) TD-INT RTG (QBR)
A. Dalton 29/47 (61.70) 243 (5.2) 0-1 66.2 17/25 (68.00) 229 (9.2) 2-1 106.9 D. Jones
CAR YDs (/PA) TD LONG CAR YDs (/PA) TD LONG
A. Dalton 7 48 (6.9) 0 13 11 65 (5.9) 0 14 W. Gallman
E. Elliott 14 42 (3.0) 1 13 2 24 (12.0) 1 23 S. Shepard
T. Pollard 5 15 (3.0) 0 6 9 17 (1.9) 0 11 D. Jones
REC/TGT YDs TDs LONG REC/TGT YDs TDs LONG
D. Schultz 7/9 70 0 16 8/10 112 1 21 S. Shepard
M. Gallup 4/8 49 0 20 2/2 43 1 33 D. Pettis
C. Lamb 5/7 43 0 21 2/4 22 0 15 D. Slayton
A. Cooper 6/9 41 0 13 2/4 17 0 14 E. Engram
TOT SOLO SKs (Hits) PA DEF TOT SOLO SKs (Hits) PA DEF
J. Smith 10 9 0 (0) 0 11 7 0 (0) 0 T. Crowder
S. Lee 6 3 0 (0) 0 11 6 1 (1) 0 B. Martinez
T. Diggs 4 4 0 (0) 2 8 4 0 (0) 1 J. Peppers
D. Lawrence 4 3 1 (2) 0 8 4 0 (0) 1 X. McKinney
A. Brown 4 3 0 (0) 0 7 5 3 (4) 1 L. Williams
1 2 3 4 F
DAL 3 6 7 3 19
NYG 6 14 0 3 23
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Game Thread: Dallas Cowboys (6-9) at New York Giants (5-10)

Dallas Cowboys at New York Giants


  • MetLife Stadium
  • East Rutherford, New Jersey

######

First Second Third Fourth Final
Giants 6 14 0 3 23
Cowboys 3 6 7 3 19

######


  • General information

Coverage Odds
FOX N.Y. Giants +2.0 O/U 43.5
Weather
39Β°F/Wind 12mph/Cloudy/No precipitation expected



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Post Game Thread: Dallas Cowboys at New York Giants

#Dallas Cowboys at New York Giants

MetLife Stadium- East Rutherford, NJ

Network(s): FOX


Time Clock
Final
00:29
Q1 Q2 Q3 Q4 Total
Cowboys 3 6 7 3 19
Giants 6 14 0 3 23

Last Play: END GAME

Team Type Quarter Description
NYG TD 1 (11:55) S.Shepard right end for 23 yards, TOUCHDOWN.
DAL FG 1 (5:07) G.Zuerlein 38 yard field goal is GOOD, Center-L.Ladouceur, Holder-H.Niswander.
NYG TD 2 (6:49) D.Jones pass short left to S.Shepard for 10 yards, TOUCHDOWN.
NYG PAT 2 G.Gano extra point is GOOD, Center-C.Kreiter, Holder-R.Dixon.
DAL FG 2 (2:25) G.Zuerlein 46 yard field goal is GOOD, Center-L.Ladouceur, Holder-H.Niswander.
NYG TD 2 (:52) (Shotgun) D.Jones pass deep middle to D.Pettis for 33 yards, TOUCHDOWN. Penalty on DAL-A.Smith, Illegal Use of Hands, declined. The Replay Official reviewed the runner was not down by contact ruling, and the play was Upheld. The ruling on the field stands.
NYG PAT 2 G.Gano extra point is GOOD, Center-C.Kreiter, Holder-R.Dixon.
DAL FG 2 (:04) G.Zuerlein 57 yard field goal is GOOD, Center-L.Ladouceur, Holder-H.Niswander.
DAL TD 3 (8:44) E.Elliott right guard for 1 yard, TOUCHDOWN.
DAL PAT 3 G.Zuerlein extra point is GOOD, Center-L.Ladouceur, Holder-H.Niswander.
DAL FG 4 (14:20) G.Zuerlein 36 yard field goal is GOOD, Center-L.Ladouceur, Holder-H.Niswander.
NYG FG 4 (6:32) G.Gano 50 yard field goal is GOOD, Center-C.Kreiter, Holder-R.Dixon.
Team Penalties Penalty Yards Rushing Yards Passing Yards First Downs
Cowboys 6 58 108 199 26
Giants 6 45 125 211 22

^This ^was ^created ^by ^a ^bot. ^For ^issues ^or ^suggestions ^please ^message ^/u/nfl_gdt_bot. ^NFL ^changed ^a ^lot ^during ^the ^offseason ^so ^improvements ^will ^be ^made ^during ^the ^season

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