Anyone else feel old?
I know this will never reach Frances, but I felt like I'd give it a shot anyways, at least symbolically, knowing that at least I tried....
Getting straight to the point, I've dealt with clinical depression and anxiety for a very long time. I was a sophomore in high school when Kurt died. His death shook me. In hindsight, I think I might have a small window into what Kurt was dealing with before his death. Of course, I'm not a doctor and I didn't know Kurt personally, but judging from my own experience, I think I might be able to relate to at least some of what Kurt was going through. I fully admit that I might be completely wrong about this.
Back in the early 90's, people didn't really talk about depression, especially males. I know I didn't. It was viewed more of a "weakness" than it is now. You didn't talk about it. Hell, you didn't even know if you had it because at that time, it was a relatively foreign concept compared to today. Nowadays, people are more open about it, more knowledgeable and understanding.
I've been a drinker, a cocaine user and a heroin addict, all in an effort to "self-medicate." This was after I had tried and failed to get anything out of psychiatric treatment. I was "treatment-resistant." Nothing worked. I'm not trying to make excuses, but I think that's why I turned to drugs. I had given up.
But I didn't have to deal with unexpected fame, either. I guess the main thing I'm trying to say is that we shouldn't ever be judgmental about what other people are going through. You never know. Just because someone "seems" ok on the surface, that doesn't mean that they really are. Humans have ways of socially adapting, and of compensating for problems. You never know what's going on in other people's heads. The proof for this is all the stories you hear about suicides where people say, "We had no idea," or "It was totally unexpected."
So, I just hope Frances can see the situation in context. I think Kurt had shown signs of clinical depression, and I don't think he knew how to deal with it, especially in the early 90's. Suicide never makes sense to "normal" people. But if you're in constant psychological pain, you become obsessed with ending it. Suicide due to mental illness is not "selfish." You can never know until you go through it yourself. It's not a rational thing. In their minds, they're just trying to end the pain. It's hard to understand.
So this is a bit of a hot take. I'm a huge Nirvana fan - easily my favorite band of all time. When I saw the Kurt fashion line/streetwear thing Frances was doing, I was instantly turned away. I thought it was ridiculous and didn't want any part of it. I've changed my mind on it though. I see so many people saying 'Kurt would've hated this' and that 'this is the opposite of what Kurt preached'. But I don't think that's necessarily true. I think more than anything in the world, Kurt would've wanted Frances to live a comfortable, financial stress-free life. He would want her to live a life without the struggles he lived. I genuinely think Kurt would've wanted Frances to profit off of him and his success because that's just how parents want their kids to live. Sure, he probably wouldn't be a huge fan of the Nirvana/band apparel that is promoted on Instagram. But when it comes to helping out his own kid, I'm sure he wouldn't mind one bit.
