My cousin-in-law “Stella” has been obsessed with having the first great-grandchild in our family ever since she married my cousin 5 years ago. When her daughter was born, she was constantly going on and on about how she was my grandfather’s first great-grandchild and how her daughter was the family legacy. It was annoying but her daughter is adorable, so we all sucked it up and humoured her.
Well, 3 months ago my older brother, who is my grandfather’s golden boy, found out he had a son. Without going into too much detail, my brother met “Kiera” while he was at a very low point in his life and was taking a ‘break’ (i.e. hiding away) from life/our family. He gave her a fake backstory and name so when he left, she had no way to contact him to let him know she was pregnant. It took her until 3 months ago to finally get in touch with him.
This has caused a whole scandal in my family because my brother is the last person anyone would think would accidentally father a child. My cousins all though this would knock him off the golden boy pedestal, but my grandfather was worried my brother would never have kids, so this has had the opposite effect. From what my cousin/Stella's SIL has told me, Stella was fuming when she found out because my nephew is 2 months older than her daughter. Making him the 'first' great grandchild.
My brother is trying to convince Kiera to relocate to our city so when she brought their son so our family could meet him, we were all on our best behaviour. Stella hated it. She kept complaining everyone was treating my nephew better than they had ever treated her daughter and she started accusing my grandfather of being misogynistic. After the third day of her complaining, I told her to stop being a bitter cow because her daughter was no longer the first great-grandchild.
She’s since told everyone what I said, and my aunt scolded me for being insensitive and basically made this whole thing about Stella and how hard this was for her. My cousin also sent me a long message which essentially said I was an insensitive AH.
TLDR: My mom's side of the family played favorites all my life and then wanted me to give up my dream career because they didn't want me to be the first female doctor.
Okay, this is probably going to be a long rant because I recently lost my dad's mom, AKA the only grandmother whoever supported me and actually said she was proud of me, a few months ago and her absence it really starting to set in. Due to getting a GED, I never had a graduation, so when I finish my biology degree and criminal justice minor next year, it'll be my first ever graduation. I had planned for my loving grandmother (LG) to be there and she was super excited about it. I was talking about my graduation plans with my mother the other day and started to mention about how I wanted to make sure to get photos with LG when I remembered that she's gone. I brought up maybe my other grandmother, my mom's mom, coming. My mother, in the most delicate way possible, basically told me not to get my hopes up, that her side of the family probably won't come and after hearing my grandmother over the phone brag about how my younger cousin, YC, is going to be graduating soon and is gushing about all her college plans after my mom mentioned about my graduation and how I have high hopes for my family to be there, I felt a little bitter.
Just an FYI, if this story sounds familiar, I did post it on a different subreddit about 2 years ago, but with my old account.
This is a sore topic for me and, I'll admit, I got a little salty and it's possible I might be the one coming off as entitled in this story. My grandmother on my mom's side has always treated her sister, AKA my aunt's children and their children better and I feel like I lost one of my main supporters that kept me going through the hardest of times. For example, I started noticing when I was a kid at Christmas my grandmother would either get me and my siblings bath baskets with soaps I was allergic or discount clothes from Walmart. I didn't mind, my parents often bought me Walmart clothes and I normally gave the bath stuff away to my older sister who loves those things, but my cousins would always get expensive clothes from Rue21 or Bath and Body Works types of soaps which I'm ironically not allergic to, or at least not any I've found yet. As I got older, the differences got more apparent, nothing I ever did was good enough. And, if I did manage something good, I was compared to my cousin and how she did something similar to that, but "better".... keep reading on reddit ➡
Hello friends, I'm from the future. Throwaway, yada yada.
Well, technically we're a few hours away from 2021. So advanced happy new year.
I'm currently outside on our terrace while my family is gathered in the livingroom after having asked me to step outside for a bit, because apparently I've ruined the mood. I'm turning to you guys to ask if I'm the asshole for what I just did.
Family from all over the city has gathered to celebrate the new years. Covid is thankfully low in my city and we've taken the necessary precautions.
As is typical of Asian family reunions, the old people in the family love to 'check up' on their nieces and nephews. One of my aunt's A, loves to show off her kids' achievements, particularly her daughter Pat.
While listing off her daughter's achievements (passing the bar, recently getting married to a fellow lawyer), my aunt turned to me and asked what I've achieved in 2020.
She began to list off all my lack of achievements, like how I'm thirty and still unmarred (I'm a dude, if that matters), about how I'm still living at home with my parents and how I'm still driving my shitty 2000-something civic. My other cousins joined in on the jeering and listed all the other failed aspects of my life.
Now, I graduated with a degree in architecture, but after multiple attempts just can't seem to pass the exam. This has been a point of contention in the family because my other cousins are lawyers, teachers, etc, whatever. These days I basically work freelance from home.
I don't know why, but my aunt's condescending voice got to me and I said "I made my first million this year. Has Pat made her first million yet?" Then turning to my cousins I asked the same, "You guys made your first million yet? Because I have."
The room fell silent. I basically killed the mood. My dad asked me to go outside and relax because apparently I might have just ruined everyone's new year celebration.
Was I an asshole?
P.S. First million in our local currency not USD.
Lets say we were doing a re-draft of the 2012 draft class.
Cousins and Tannehill have been two franchise/borderline franchise QBs. Who would you pick first knowing what you know about them?
“George Michael’s cousin (maybe).”
The desi people here will understand. Are first cousins off-limits? Or is it permissible to marry them? Please let me know your opinions and if you have any hadiths which support your opinion, please do provide those.
A bit of context: two first cousins 24F and 31M. Half their life the entire family(khandan) would tell them to get married. Boy's family does not budge and get him married to their friend's daughter but gets divorced in 6 months. Now boy thinks ok I think I should get married to the cousin. His family is a bit hesitant but boy is adamant. The extended family is also supporting him. The girl cousin thinks she is being treated as a last resort and this is just settlement, not marriage. She did not even like him in the first place. She is being asked again and again inspite her answer being no. I want to help her. Thank you guys for your replies.
Edit: Thank you everyone for commenting on here and providing some insight on the situation. I will definitely show this post to my cousin to increase her confidence and stay firm on her decision.
Some said cousin marriages are not haram and yes I agree. So many first cousins in my family are happily married alhamdulillah. I should have posted about my cousin being forced first. Since they are first cousins and the debate about this is going on in my family thats why I posted that. Cousins or not, the main thing is she does not want to go ahead.
Again, thank you all for your comments. JazakAllah khair 😊
I’m perplexed about how to describe my cousin’s kids because the technical term in English is so clunky. Are there better ones in other languages?
Kirk was a 4 year college starter and didn’t become an NFL starter until his fourth season. Sometimes I get the impression that people think Heinicke is some young kid lol
Hey! Sorry if this isn't the right place for this.
I know this is a stupid question, but I wanted to ask an actual scientist. I did a 23andme test about a year ago and so did both of my parents. A relative recently showed up sharing 12.6% dna with me and a little more than 25% dna with my mother. My mother swears up and down this person is her first cousin. Is this possible? 23andme says this person is my half aunt and my mother's half sister.
Either what my mom says is true and this is some weird mix up, or my grandpa had a child with his brother's wife.