My wife is trans and we met for the first time after she fully medically and surgically transitioned. Nobody besides her family (and my sister, who found out on her own) really knows this, and she wants to keep it that way.
Anyway, we both wanted to have kids young so we adopted our little girl before the pandemic started. Because of everything that's been going on, my parents didn't really get to meet her until last week, and my sister and her husband were also there.
My parents are very conservative, and they've been a bit disappointed about the fact that we adopted--nothing really explicit, but just subtle things. After they met our daughter, though, they melted a little (because how could you not?) but they still wanted to know why we adopted. I felt a bit clever saying "fertility issues," because we do have fertility issues, just not the kind my parents probably thought.
My sister didn't say anything at the time, but she let loose on me later. I forgot that she has fertility issues, and she started yelling at me saying that she's been spending ten of thousands of dollars on in-vitro, how depressed it's made her, how her marriage is on the rocks, and how she's traumatized from her miscarriages (I didn't know she had any). She told me that she trusted me with that and that I'm immature. I told her that we technically do have fertility issues, and she said it's different because we "chose" to have ours and we knew what we were getting into. She said that it wasn't our issue to appropriate. All the women I dated before my wife were cis but I didn't fall in love with any of them. I don't think I "chose" to fall in love with her, so that made me pretty upset.
I wouldn't have felt like I was in the wrong until my sister told me that I could have just said that I felt like it would be better for the world to adopt. I still think it would have been met with a lot of suspicion and criticism from my parents, but that would have been the easiest way to avoid anybody getting hurt, and now I've built this unnecessary rift between my sister and I. My wife says that we do have fertility issues and she feels bad for my sister because of everything she's going through, but ultimately we have nothing to apologize for because we told the truth.
I don't know what to think about all this. AITA?
For the last couple years I’ve had irregular periods, I used to only get them every 6 weeks and now it’s every other month. My family doctor has never been able to diagnose the reasoning for it and said sometimes women just don’t ovulate for no explained reason and that when I’m ready to start trying, he’ll refer me to a fertility specialist right away. My fiancé and I decided to start trying at the end of October and my family doc immediately wrote me the referral.
Since then, I’ve been mentally preparing myself for the upcoming struggle ahead and have lost sleep for the past month about it. The initial ultrasounds and bloodwork are supposed to be done on your period so I’ve been waiting for mine to come and finally Tuesday this week I started to bleed and booked my appointments. The next day I stopped bleeding and the clinic told me to keep my appointments anyways. This just made even more upset thinking that the stress I’ve been putting on myself is making my menstrual cycle even more messed up.
Today I went in, did my ultrasounds and bloodwork and the OB came to speak to me after and told me I’M ALREADY PREGNANT!!!!!! He said I’m only 4-5 weeks and that it’s still really early but I immediately started sobbing.
For years now I’ve been hating my body for not being “normal” with no unexplainable reason. I had already prepared myself for the thought of years of trying to conceive and all the medication or procedures I might have to take and just knowing that my body IS ovulating and I’m able to conceive has been the biggest weight ever lifted off my shoulders. Whether or not I make it to full term I’m just so happy to know that something is working and even though it’s too early to share with friends and family...I had to share this good news with someone who might also be worried their irregular period automatically means infertility.
Any early term advice is greatly appreciated and I’m so excited to be on this journey with all you other women out there!
Update: I set up cupcakes and a pregnancy announcement on my fiancé’s desk for when he got home. Worst timing he came home when I was on a video conference call with my work team!! He was jumping and screaming and ran to gave me kisses. Fortunately I muted and turned my camera off in time. Ironically enough on the call my colleague shared for the first time that his wife is pregnant and due in the spring. I’m the only female on my team and everyone kept telling me I’m next! I laughed it... keep reading on reddit ➡
Even with restricted abortion and religiousness in some countries how could this happen?
Also how could these countries will face aging process in their population?
Fertility Rate is how many children a woman will have in her life
Fertility rates by countries in Latin America and the Caribbean
Countries in parentheses are references
I joined countries with similar fertility rate up to 0.01 decimal
I wish you did not have to try so hard, did not have to suffer so hard just to have a child when I would not want them at all.
edit: damn, people really eat up my posts? i got them comments tho so its good to hear different peoples viewpoints.
Edit two: Note, i only mean this for infertile people who want it of course.
How many times have the cOnSpIrAcY tHeOrIsTs been right this year?
Well, here's another prediction for you. I would bet good money at some point going forward, they will "find out" this vaccine reduces fertility.
That's what this is.
Connect the dots, that's what's happening.
They know there is a population bomb, and they need to reduce it. The climate, the oceans, the population, all too much. We desperately need to reduce the population.
The elite know they need to dramatically reduce the population, particularly in the poorer countries/neighbourhoods. This is incidentally why they will start vaccinating these populations first (but frame it as having altruistic reasons).
Bill Gates' father was a eugenicist who wanted to reduce the world population. Bill is following in his father's footsteps.
They cannot simply wipe out billions of people, so instead they will make a certain percentage of the population less likely to have babies.
We will later "learn" these particles cause a reduction in fertility.
It may be worse than that. Who knows. This is just my prediction for now. Be prepared to hear at some point "this vaccine reduces fertility".
At first it will be a "cOnSpIrAcY tHeOrY". Then it will be proven. Then the taxpayers will be on the hook for reparations to these damaged individuals.
And when it is all over, the criminals to humanity who are responsible for this biological attack on the human genome will be laughing billionaires.
Fuck these people.
Friends, it truly has been a year. So here's a post in which to air your grievances. Preferences to ALL CAPS SHOUTING, but it is not required.
Go on...get it out...get it ALL out.
I understand the heartbreak that is fertility issues it took me and my husband 4 years 2 round of IVF to get my beautiful daughter that being said.
I'm allowed to complain that my daughter has been awake for 3 days because she's sick, without hearing the guilt trip about how my daughter's a miracle and some women can't have babies. Yes she's a miracle but there's a reason that they say parenting is hard.
I haven't been this light in years. Or this healthy! My body must know because im pregnant. Im going to switch to low carb because of doctor recommendation and I dont crave sugar anymore so I'll keep with what I have. Even while pregnant im still losing about 2lbs a week which my doctor said is fine the first trimester.
So happy to have lost 58lbs weight within 4/5 months!
I doubt it does but I don’t know...kinda seems like a bonus to me if it does 🤷🏻♀️
Welcome to TTC30 Talks Tuesdays!
This series is about collecting your experiences, stories, and knowledge about specific aspects of trying to conceive in a single archive, so that future generations may benefit. The first Tuesday of every month, we will post a different topic, and ask you, the members of TTC30, to share with us.
Please note: These posts will be added to the wiki. Do not share anything you would not want to share with strangers.
While some of these posts are more about experiences, some will be of a more scientific nature. Please be substantive in your answers, and provide details. For instance, in a post about supplements, don't just list your various supplements, but talk about why you are taking them.
Same rules apply for this post as apply to the entire community: you must be over 30, you must have the appropriate flair, no discussing on-going pregnancy, and be cool to one another.
This week, we’re asking for your media recommendations! That’s right, it’s time to talk about your favorite fertility-specific books, websites, podcasts! What resources (other than reddit) do you go to for TTC? What fertility podcasts, books, websites are your go to? Why do you recommend them to your fellow TTC30-ers?
Please note: we are switching our Tuesday Talks series to the first Tuesday of every month, but there will occasionally be special one-off Tuesday Talks on special topics that happen on random other Tuesdays! We have an exciting line-up of topics coming in 2021, and we are always open to suggestions for more topics. Thank you for making this such a great new feature of the sub!
I’m a bit behind but is anyone else annoyed that Lacey’s doctors cannot put her mask over her damn nose?? Those scenes annoy me so much
My Fertility clinic's head is suggesting both me and my wife do a keto diet to improve fertility. I have been on Keto before for weight loss successfully. But what my doc suggests is radical. He wants us to eat like a lion. Yes, he said that.
He only wants us to eat one meal a day which is high on fat. And no fruits or vegetables. He suggests pork, beef, egg, avocado, cream, butter, ghee etc.. He says all fruits and vegetables have sugar and is not healthy for you and cause inflammation. Inflammation is the primary reason for all diseases is his argument. I want to believe in him as time is running out for us to have children. However, I feel it is too hard for me to survive with just one meal a day.
Has anyone here tried anything like this before? Has it worked?
The wait is 3 months which will actually put us right at 1 year. Happy they were able to squeeze us in and happy I was able to get my doctor and obtain to take me seriously with my short luteal phase concerns. Fingers crossed that we won’t need it but happy to have it just in case. I’m very thankful especially after reading all of the horror stories about doctors not taking concerns seriously so maybe I just pushed a little harder than I normally would have because of that. Thank you everyone here who have shared your stories. They truly helped me advocate for myself.
Had the recent realization that biological children are more important to me than I initially thought. Although there is no conclusive evidence that t will ruin my fertility, there’s also no evidence that it won’t. I do not look forward to the process of getting the kids, but adoption, egg freezing, surrogacy and everything else are not accessible enough for me to start a family without my body’s help and I’m working to feel peace about it.
I’m not feeling good about the decision, it will add 3-5 years to my wait time for hormones. Please don’t comment with any child free opinions, I want to be a father someday.
Just venting/looking for support if anyone else has had to make a similar call. I have an appointment with my gender therapist coming up but man, this fucking blows.
A bit of an odd post. Not sure if this is allowed.
I’m a fertility nurse. I suffer from RPL and thin lining.
I’m looking for some feedback. Specifically around when you get calls for a negative beta. Dealing with this personally while also working in the field has given me insight that I am deeply grateful for as messed up as that sounds.
Any advice you can give me about how to deliver this news in a way that seems more empathetic and human is appreciated.
What could I do to make it easier for you.
UPDATE: I have been tasked with calling 47 patients with their beta results on one day over the Holidays. I am so worried I won’t be able to give each patient the time they need. I feel awful already.
My husband and I just got married on the 9th of this month. Not even a week ago. Yesterday we went to visit my in-laws because they had some of the stuff from our wedding since we left right from our wedding to our honeymoon.
We chitchat for a little bit when my mil asks how baby making is going. We laughed kind of surprised and said there was none, I still had my birth control implant in.
She told us we needed to get that taken out and start trying for babies because I’m getting old and women’s fertility only lasts for a few years.
We currently live in a 1 bedroom apartment with our cat, and have no room for a baby. She keeps pushing that we NEED to start trying to buy a house and have a baby or I’m gonna go through menopause before I know it.
The kicker? I am 22 years old.
Baby born from 27-year-old frozen embryo breaks record https://news.yahoo.com/changed-lives-tennessee-baby-born-023755594.html
I often see the words "potential for life" thrown around a lot in this subreddit in regards to abortion but what about fertility clinics who throw out couple's unused embryos?
If the right to life exists because of individual human DNA then it doesn't make sense why a couple who wants to get pregnant can willingly disregard the embryos they don't use without stigma, but a woman who doesn't want to be pregnant can't get an abortion without being seen as controversial.
What is the difference between one stage of pre-viability development and another?
My wife and I found out we are expecting - I am due in August after trying two at home inseminations and three IUIs! We have not told our families that we were TTC and are excited to tell them the good news in a few weeks. Curious about other gay couples experiences, what questions did your family and friends have once you announced the pregnancy?
Basically as the title says, my mother in law wants to set up a fundraiser for mine(30f) and my husband's(31m) IVF treatments.
She wants to be a grandparent, she knows we want to be parents, and that the only reason IVF is on hold is because we do not have $20k for a monitored IVF cycle. We (husband and I) were considering taking a personal loan for the costs, as most of the treatment can be claimed on our income taxes(Canada), but that would have to wait until my husband is done his education- roughly 6 months.
Am I wrong for thinking this is tacky? That no one would donate, because children aren't a necessity/if we can't pay to have a child how would we afford to raise one?
I'm not totally opposed to crowd funding, but I don't want her to set herself up for disappointment if no one donates, and I don't want people to think it is wrong of us to ask for help when we could probably get a personal loan to aid us.
Help me navigate this morale dilemma.