I get that they are historically important, but some people think these guys from 200 years ago were incredible at predicting the future. As a non American, this always seems weird to me.
Edit: Wow the replies in here, way to prove my point!
I had a brief conversation with my father this past weekend. He wanted to let me know that he is officially retiring. I was happy for him. The old man has been working for the last 50 years nonstop since he was a teenager.
He then said, "Yeah, I will find part-time work to keep me busy. I can finally do something I like doing."
This shook me. 50 years of hard work. Crawled his way up the corporate ladder to a Director-level position making well over six figures. After all that, he is just now doing something he likes doing? It has messed with my head the last few days. I am now questioning why I am working the job I work in corporate America. I don't want to wake up 30 years down the road when I finally retire and say the same thing.
Edit: Wow! I wrote this before bed to literally get it off my chest (pun intended) as my options for venting about are limited. Thank you all for the thoughtful and funny responses! Much love!
So, my life's turned into a bloody soap opera recently and I could use some outside opinions here.
I (24F) am the product of my mom having an affair. Fortunately my dad decided to forgive my mom and keep me, and I had a pretty good upbringing. But I don't really look a lot like the rest of my family (I'm the only redhead, among other things) and I did ask questions of a 'why am I the only one with -insert trait here-?' nature growing up. When I was 17 my mom took me out for ice cream and introduced me to my bio-father. She said that she felt I was old enough to know the truth, and explained about her affair, while also A) making me promise I wouldn't tell my older sister (27F in the present) and B) hammering home along with my bio-father that he'd never be part of my life and didn't want me.
It was a lot, I won't lie, but I learned to suck it up and move on with my life. Fast forward to the present. My big sis has always gravitated towards older men (we like to joke that it's the result of too many George Clooney movies growing up) and two months ago shared a picture of herself and her new boyfriend. Who, to my shock, turned out to be my bio-father. I debated what to do for a couple of days, then ultimately decided she needed the truth and told her. My sister did not take it well and dumped him, but she wasn't angry with me. Honestly by now she's kinda amused, says that since she banged my dad she's my mom and has extra power to boss me around now.
My mom on the other hand, is furious. She says I divulged something that wasn't my secret to share, and that I had no business telling anyone. That since bio-father isn't related to my sister it didn't matter if he dated my sister and it wasn't like they were talking marriage anyway. It's been two month and she's still angry, still snide, calls me a traitor and finds excuses to make loud comments about how I can't be trusted with anything private or important so beware.
At the time I thought I was doing the right thing, but I've never seen my mom this angry before, and she's sustained that anger for 2 solid months, so I'm starting to worry. Did I actually do something really shitty, am I the asshole?
EDIT: Wow, this got a lot more comments than I expected. I can't answer everyone, but I do appreciate every comment and the support that I'm getting. Two months of having your mom furious with you takes quite a toll, so it's been really relieving seeing so many NTAs in the comments. Thank you all, I'm tryi... keep reading on reddit ➡
HOW IT ENDED: My son has been seeing the boy next door romantically, turns out the move had nothing to do with me or the father.
After speaking with the father and my son, I've decided to check myself into a mental health facility, I don't think I'm coping very well with much and I need help. My ex will also be looking after my youngest son while I'm away.
My son and I have always been close, so has my son and his father, however lately he's been a little more withdrawn. Every time he comes back from his father's house he complains that he didn't want to come home and he wishes he could just stay there. He doesn't join in much on family time anymore and any time I try to have a serious conversation about what's going on with him he just repeats that he wants to go live with his dad full time.
I have no idea what could have brought this on, we haven't done anything differently. I asked him if it was my new boyfriend if he was mistreating him and he said no, I just don't understand why he'd want to leave and not tell us why. It's making me wonder what his father is up to and what he's telling our son, although it's hard to believe he'd say anything bad about us considering we split on good terms.
What do I do? I don't want to lose my boy.
Update: As suggested by many, I decided to cut off my relationship this morning in hopes the house won't be uncomfortable anymore. This led to an extremely heated conversation with my son where he's decided it's appropriate to call me an idiot for ruining things with this guy. Needless to say, he still wants to move in with his dad.I'm dropping him off there today.
Updated update: My son has taken it upon himself to contact my ex and tell him I needed to talk, he'll be in trouble for this later.He arrived safely at his father's and will remain there.I think he's going to be just fine.
So for some background, my (19F) parents fat shame me a lot. I'm not overweight, but my weight isn't at the best it could be. However, I go to the gym 3x a week and try to eat healthy.
So earlier tonight I was eating a sandwich for dinner when my dad (66) went "I thought you were trying to eat healthy? You would be in better shape if you did hot yoga 3 times a week like I do." As someone who's struggled a lot with my weight in the past, this really hurt, especially since he said it unprompted. I ended up going to my mom (52) about it, telling her all the progress I've made at the gym and how much I can lift now, etc. Before I started going, I literally NEVER worked out. Now I go 3x a week. I said "I'm the healthiest I've ever been" and she straight up said "no you're not" in a condescending tone, cuz I haven't lost as much weight as she'd like, but I'm so much stronger and have a lot more endurance now.
I came up with an idea then - I invited my mom to the gym so she could try the workouts I do with me. I've worked for almost a year to get where I am now. Hot yoga, which my mom does too, is definitely an intense exercise, but I work out in a completely different way than what my parents do. Anyway, she was down for it, but when I brought up inviting my dad too, she was super against it suddenly. When I asked why, she said he wouldn't be able to keep up with me or lift the same that I do. "I get that he hurt your feelings, but he used to be 2 times his current size and can't lift as much as he thinks he can. You don't want to emasculate him by proving his daughter is stronger than he is."
I'm like, isn't that kind of the point? Not to hurt him, but to prove that I'm putting in the work so he stops making comments about my body and my lifestyle choices? But she basically said there's no way to win and I should just give up - which in my mind, means continue to let him fat shame me. I think I would be the asshole because if "emasculating" my father gets him to stop fat shaming me, then so be it. So, WIBTA for supposedly "emasculating" my father?
I (47f) have a son (15m) with my ex-husband (45m), with whom I have been divorced for a decade. In that time we've had shared custody; I have my son for the week and he stays over his father's on the weekends. Over a year ago my ex has started seeing another woman, a widow (30something F) with a son (~8m?) and recently moved them in. My son has been complaining to me about sharing his father's house and time with his dad's new girlfriend and her son; he explicitly said to me that it hurts that his father can no longer prioritize time for the two of them now that there's four of them, as every activity, meal and event must now include them (especially during the pandemic).
This weekend broke the camel's back; my son called me choking back tears and asked for me to pick him up from his father's house on Saturday. Literally the first thing he said to me was "Am I old enough to change your custody agreement?" He explained that his father removed the playstation he had got him for his birthday from his room and hooked it up in the living room, saying he had to share it with his father's girlfriend's son, as they were now "a family." My son did the classic "You're not my real mom!" speech and called me to pick him up- in doing so he said some very foul things about his father's ex and even her son, which I refuse to punish him for.
I have always raised my son to speak his mind and have self-actualization and confidence. He is, admittedly, a rather antisocial young man, but the few people he considers friends he has very deep attachments to. I have always told him that he did not need to make friends with everyone and that there were very few people he was “obligated” to have in his life. He has made it clear he has absolutely zero interest in acting as a "big brother" or a "step son" and while his father is entitled to his love life, he wants nothing to do with it and is refusing to be in the house at the same time as his father's girlfriend or her son.
I called my ex today after speaking to my son and let him know of these changes, and also that I would look into changing our custody agreement to better fit my son's wishes, which would pretty much give me full custody. Well, of course my ex exploded at me; that I was raising my son to be "self-centered", that it was "unreasonable" to refuse to be in the room with "a woman who will one day be his stepmom" and that I was "poisoning my son against [him]" and that he was "too young" to decide who he lived with.... keep reading on reddit ➡
I do think I need some therapy, maybe when I'm more financially stable and I am getting there. I am currently 21, F, and have just moved out last year and consider cutting contacts with my family.
My father used to love me very much, it all changed when I was 10 or so. He still provided basic care for my needs but was much colder and harsher towards me, frequently losing his temper with me and my respect for him turned into fear. What confused me was that he was still as pleasant as he could be with my younger brothers but just treated me differently.
Truth be told I was bitter, it resulted in me becoming jealous and a bully to my brothers and our relationships were terrible. Then my father would use me as an example to teach my brothers who not to become and even prevented my mother from showing me affection, saying I don't deserve it and she should love her sons more.
At 16 they broke the truth to me that I am not my father's birth child. They retained their relationship for the sake of the family and my 2 brothers who were his. I was surprised but I guess it made sense, of course he would not love a child that is not his but I still hate him. He then told me things like how I owe him for everything because it was not his responsibility to raise me, that I should pay this debt in the future.
I did not go college, got a job with my aunt's help and finally moved out last year after saving enough money and promoted. My mother asked me to return home for dinner after New Year, saying she misses me and I did. We had dinner, mother and father asked me about my well being and all, and everyone seems to be pleasant. I thought this was a change for the better.
After dinner they sat me down and my father told me that he wanted me to chip in for my brother's college fees, because now it is time I pay him back with for raising me. He said it was entirely up to me how much I can support, it signified my gratitude and upbringing after all.
I just kind of, stood up, laughed and called him a manipulative piece of shit, in front of my 2 brothers(younger one is only 13). I also called out my mother for being a coward but mostly directed my words to my father. I promptly left and slammed their front door.
My mother had been texting me for a while and she wanted me to just apologise to him, after all he did raised a child that is not his and he provided for me. She said she's tired having to maintain the relationship between me and father and I shouldn't mak... keep reading on reddit ➡
Growing up, my father was abusive and neglectful. My mom never remarried and I’m not close to the men in my family so it’s been almost 10 years since I last had any semblance of a father figure.
Do share some stories! I’m curious to know what a father/daughter relationship is like:)
Edit: Scrolling through the comments made me feel so warm inside:,) Thankyou for the wonderful stories!! I had lots of fun reading them