Divorce

My (42M) ex-wife (44F) and I recently separated, we were together for 26 years (we met in high school) and during that time her parents became unable to care for her brother Brody (34M) who is autistic. Brody moved in with my wife and I 10 years ago, and while there was an adjustment period he lived with us happily since then. My marriage's deterioration was completely unrelated to Brody and was centered around my wife's emotional affair with a coworker.

When deciding what to do about Brody's living arrangements I stated that Brody could live with me, but my wife overrode me and demanded Brody come with her. I said I didn't think this was fair, because Brody is verbal, he stated his preferences were to stay at my house, his autism is fairly mild and he is capable of making his preferences known. My wife overrode him and took him with her when she moved out. However, since then she has called me asking me to come get him because he was giving her such a hard time, letting him stay the night for a few days, then a week, and now it's been a few months since he spent the night with her at her apartment.

I consider Brody to be my brother too, I've known him since he was 8 years old, I very much have a strong bond with him and I'd be fine if he stayed living with me until I was old and gray. My ex and her family are very unhappy about this situation, but my argument is and continues to be if they care about his happiness they should listen to his opinions, he is an adult, just because he has autism doesn't mean he doesn't have feelings and preferences. AITA for letting my ex-BIL stay against his family's wishes?

North, things between West and I have gone South.

My ex-wife (35F, “Kate”) and I (36M) grew up as next door neighbors. We, along with our siblings, basically lived at both houses and were parented by the adults at whichever house we happened to be in at the time. My dad died when I was a teenager and her dad became kind of a stand-in Dad to me from then on.

Kate and I dated throughout high school, took a break to “do our own thing” in college; but that only lasted two years before we got back together. We moved in together and transferred to a larger University to finish our undergrad. We took advantage of Summer and Winter Term courses to speed things up and get a few more degrees faster.

Up until the age of 26 when we were both finishing up school, her father supported us financially where we couldn’t. He had a very good business and was quite well-off. My mom was doing ok, but she had pseudo-retired to Florida by this time and was living with her retired sister; she couldn’t help much. Kate and I had a rocky start to our careers, moving around frequently and one of us always having a commute that sometimes took us across an entire state.

Five years ago, her dad lost his business and most of his wealth due to a few bad investments, and bad intent, from a business partner so he moved in with us and we began supporting him in return for all of the years he’d done that for us. We had an in-law suite already for my mom to use when she visited. He and I continued our father/son type relationship and it was all working out great.

About a year before Covid, she began taking long trips and refusing to tell me where she was going. By the summer, she was asking for a divorce, saying that she had changed too much to continue our marriage. She got half of most everything (both cars, half of our savings, our vacation home and various appliances, plus all of the expensive jewelry I’d bought for her over the years). She promptly sold the vacation home and the jewelry and had MUCH more liquid funds than I did. Most of mine was wrapped up in the house and investments. I had to use a good chunk of the savings to buy a new car and appliances.

Now, she and her friends are messaging me quite hateful things because she JUST found out that her dad never moved out when we divorced because she rarely talks to him now. Her mom died when we were in college, and she is accusing me of “stealing” her remaining parent. FIL doesn’t have the money to move out, or a reason to. She says I should have given her dad a large sum of mon

After carving the chicken, he dumped all the lovely vegetables that had roasted underneath, smothered in heavenly chicken drippings - into a colander.

T_T

https://twitter.com/RapSheet/status/1356227528290131969

You can’t reverse anything else. Just these 3 things specifically.

Cool down: 12 days

Edit: 4 things. I can’t count lmao

Edit 2: Credits to u/Yodanerd for the pickle one and for inspiring the post

The location for this is Texas/United States Federal. I had originally tried just after she was arrested but when I went to serve her she had been moved from a state to a federal facility and I didn't know that. Then I was more focused on gaining custody of our child and her trials. Now that I have custody and the trials have happened. I'm trying again.

The timeline is: My spouse was arrested in 2019. She went through 2 trials. One federal and one was state level. The totality of her sentences means that her release date is in 2039. At one of her trials the court ordered she was not allowed to contact me or our child. Like I said I don't have a lawyer of my own and while I don't object to the no contact order the judge and the prosecutor did it without asking me, I found this out when she was sentenced. She was pregnant at the time of arrest and the state terminated her rights involuntarily and I passed all the inspections and checks so I was given custody. Again I wasn't the one who asked to terminate her rights though I don't object or disagree. When I attempted to serve her the jail won't accept. The jail says letting me contact her will cause her to be breaking the no contact order imposed by the court. If she is under their custody they can't make her commit a crime because if I contact she has no choice in it. Her letters and calls are monitored, I know this but I just want to serve her with the papers.

After the jail said no I tried to serve the public defender who worked her state level trial but the public defender said they don't get involved in family matters. So how can I get her served as I'm starting to her frustrated. The jail says even a lawyer doing it for me counts as indirect contact. I've tried 2 times following all the procedures the jail says have to be followed but both times I was tured away.

I've filed for divorce from my husband, and one of the reasons is my MIL. She's a devout Christian, from the midwest, and has raised her kids to be "sweet and loving," but what this means is 1) never, ever say what you mean directly, 2) avoid all conflict, no matter how minor, in order to keep up appearances 3) if someone directly calls you on something, lie and say it never happened.

A few memorable examples of my 10 years as her DIL:

• I'm going into the hospital the next day to have my 3rd baby. She announces that she and FIL will come visit at the hospital the next day at 11am. I say "please don't come to the hospital at 11am. I might be in the middle of having the baby. Please call before you come so I can tell you whether it's a good time or not." The next day, they showed up at 11am without calling first. I was in active labor when they showed up, and when they did, it stopped my labor cold. I just had to sit there, waiting, until 5pm when my labor finally restarted. Later, I asked her why she ignored my request to call first she said "Oh, I just pretend to go along when people are talking, and then just do whatever I want."
• She was making homophobic comments (gayness is like a disease or a birth defect, you can't blame them for their condition, but they have to be celibate, etc.). My teenage daughter is gay, and I didn't want her saying things like that around her, or my other non-gay kids, or anybody, so I pulled her aside and asked her to not say things like that, especially because one of her grandchildren is gay. She said "Homosexuality is an abomination!" (Later, I told her son/my husband that it upset me when she said "Sally" (my daughter) is an abomination. My husband said "She didn't say SALLY is an abomination. She said what Sally IS is an abomination.")
• I asked MIL and FIL to please keep 6 feet distance from their grandchildren when they come to visit (I make us all visit outside). Later, my younger daughter told me MIL had been "sneaking" hugs from the kids. I confronted MIL about this. She got mad and said "It's MY choice if I get the virus, so I should be able to hug them." I asked her, "What about all the people you spread it to? Would they agree with your choice?" She just looked at me with a complete lack of understanding.
• MIL and FIL showed up at my house unannounced to visit. We were standing outside chatting, making small talk, when she, out of the blue, says "You didn't really want your children. You just had them to ple

I want to point out I never met a non-attractive Chilean nor am I saying that it’s a thing at all. I am more curious since usually people from our region tend to say “people from our country are good looking”.

Warning: Long post. This is essentially a diary entry to get this off my chest for the new year.

TL;DR: my depression spiralled out of control after my son turned 2, I lost hair, lost weight, lost my mind and after multiple attempts to find solutions I divorced my husband and gave my son up for kinship adoption to my sister-in-law. I later moved across the country and am starting to rekindle my relationship with my ex.

Adam* and I were married for eight years and together for twelve, we spent half of that time together trying for a baby. I had 9 miscarriages. It was horrible and traumatizing but I wanted a baby, I wanted to experience pregnancy and labour and I didn't give one shit about adopting a child - I wanted this.

We stopped trying, until the spring of 2013 when we went on an anniversary trip. I didn't know it, but I came home pregnant. By July, I found out that I was three months, nearly four, and I was over the moon. This was it, this was our time and all the stars were aligning.

I spent the next six months puking my brains out, flinching whenever someone touched me, and absolutely repulsed by any intimacy from my then-husband. But I was still happy, still excited, and still enjoying every moment of having that life inside me, reverently documenting every moment of the journey. My mom made the joke that we would have the best baby ever since the idea is a bad pregnancy produces an angelic baby and a great pregnancy produces a demon. I laughed at it and never thought of it again until I had Lucas* in my arms six months later.

A year later, I was suicidal and rapidly losing weight. Lucas was a monster; he screamed constantly but he didn't like to be held, he hated playing peekaboo games, and he wasn't reaching his milestones. My mother berated me constantly and blamed his behaviour on my inability to breastfeed, my in-laws speculated that I had been drinking or smoking during pregnancy right to my face. During this year Adam and I took our separate bedrooms to the next level, he moved into the basement. His sister Sam* was the only person that I felt I could talk to but even then I worried she would report back to her brother all of my horrible thought.

We fought about who should stay home because I wanted to go back to work but living where we did, we either needed a nanny or one of us to be home when the other wasn't able to. I spent my days crying and eventually got back to smoking pot in the hopes it would mellow me out. Sam off

Am I the problem here? I can’t be, right? This is apeshit, right?

He walked the threat back then next day. He has a history of losing his shit and saying horrible things. My still being sad a week later is “proof” that I “will never get over it” and I “will hold it against him forever.”

He’s comparing his furious divorce threats to me seeing a lawyer and looking at apartments months ago (because I feel like I have no choice). In his mind, they’re the same thing.

I have either a husband who really means what he said and is too weak to admit it unless he’s furious, or someone who says things he doesn’t mean to hurt me on purpose. What the fuck do I do here? We have a 4yo kid.

I think he did it in the heat of the moment, but he stuck with it. I was with him for the holidays and we had so many issues with my family and I stuck by him against everyone. He had been going to therapy and cut down drinking tremendously. I thought we were doing fine and getting better.

He waited until I got back home to argue with me about cooking and cleaning. We both work, we both make money and I thought we should share household duties. He can cook and I can clean. But no, he stuck to his machismo ways. When I got back to the US, he told me how his sister went over and cleaned everything, and how she’s a feminist and still did that for them, so I should be able to. Mind you, I was constantly making dinner and cleaning for both him and his brother, and if I didn’t make food I’d order food.

He said that I barely cleaned, and that I barely made food. And that I didn’t even try to cook, and I really did. One time I made lunch and he berated me for doing it wrong. Yet I still tried.

He decided to divorce me because he thought it is my job to do everything in the home. And on top of that, he posted a meme in the family groupchat with my family that said “what am I doing in this chat?” and then left it, so now he turned this into family gossip.

I’m devastated. I really gave my all into this relationship and I did everything I could to accommodate and help him, and he embarrassed me, belittled me, and left me like I never mattered. I know it’s probably for the best, but it hurts so fucking bad. I’ve been angry since he told me a week ago, but tonight when he did that I’ve just been crying. I’ve never been so embarrassed in my fucking life.

They said people would argue with and bang each other during lockdown. They said COVID would trigger a boom in divorces and babies.

Well I has to be in the divorce category, didn’t I? Made more ironic by the fact that one of the triggering events for the divorce was because I wanted another child.

Then there’s the sickening ‘COVID brought us closer together!’ Comments. The people who are just giving birth to their COVID babies. People buying houses for their growing families while I dismantle mine.

It’s so depressing. I feel so bitter.

I would like to tell everyone that this is a bad joke but it’s not . English is not my first language so excuse me for any spelling mistakes

I (33M) have been married to my wife (28F) for almost 8 years now. We’ve always had our ups and downs but today was our breaking point. We have an old house built in 1955 that we renovated step by step. One of the remnants of it’s post WWII era , is it’s small steps. It is nothing to cause concern but everyone always needs to tread carefull not to misstep because it could cause you to trip.

Now comes the problem that went overboard ongoing a year. My wife has always been a hardhead. She doesn’t like to apologize and is not a very emotional person. She’s quite independant and someone who works hard and is a great mother, but she always has had problems with aknowledging a problem shifting blame, trying every trick in the book to not take accountability.

So our dangerous staircase is also her personal little stacking area where she stacks clothing and other stuff she wants to take upstairs or downstairs. I told her before all of this that this is dangerous and someone could get seriously hurt. Cue the first incident a year ago. As the light in the hallway portion is dim, i didn’t see she put clothing again next to the railings and tripped. This caused me to tumble down the stairs and hurt my back and elbow. She didn’t check up on me eventhough she heard me fall. I get it, she’s not the caring type so after the initial agitation i brushed it off , again because i know she’s not very emotional. But i begged her not to put clothing or objects on the staircase because of this and i told her this would happen. Next few days or so she does it again. Cue a half year later our 6 year tells me “ mommy does dangerous stuff by putting all these things on the staircase”. This woke me up and i beg and plead again not to do it because even our daughter thinks this is dangerous. I tried multiple times taking clothes away but she did it again time and time again. The inevitable happens and our 6 year old tumbles down the stairs. I run up and thank god she is okay. I check her up and she said “ mommy really shouldn’t be putting clothes there”. After this i actually cried and pleaded to please stop doing this. This helped for about a week and she did it again. I started brushing it off because i knew she wasn’t going to change. After the birth of our son, i got more agitated and resentfull of her careless nature and told her if i

Source [email protected]:45 >“They are a ‘wait-and-see’ team. Wait and see if it pans out. Everyone is optimistic the first 10 games when you get off to a hot start.

>Everyone is optimistic on the honeymoon, but 50% of marriages end in divorce.

>For once, I just want to see the 76ers overachieve”