And not just “in love” like love at first sight or the norm of kissing someone within 3 weeks of dating. Is it normal to not even have the desire to kiss someone you like until you know them for a long time (maybe even a year atleast) and trust them fully? I don’t feel any desire to do anything sexual with someone even if I like them unless I know them very very well and am certain they love me and wouldn’t leave. Is this normal? I’ve read the average time for a couple to make a relationship “physical” in terms of kissing can be 1-3 weeks and in terms of sex can be 1 month but I wouldn’t want to do it until atleast a year but does that mean no one would want to be with me long enough to wait or am I just pressuring myself for no reason? Thanks in advance for any advice.
Bernie says Joe isn't doing well enough with cabinet picks. Biden's cabinet positions are generally long-term positions and a reflection of his policies and/or stances in his upcoming presidency. Many progressives believe he is not doing enough, and r/politics discusses if his picks for cabinet and policies going into the presidency are good enough, or whether Bernie's time is over.
He walked back police reform already and he isn’t even in office yet.
Well, give him a freakin' minute. He's not even in office yet. Sheesh.
It makes you wonder how progressives will vote in the midterms and 2024 without the Trump threat.
ITT: Moderates want their boring/privileged lives back.
The "Don't criticise Biden until after mid-terms" argument.
Can we let him get in office please?
[President-Elect Joe Biden needs to fight off a coup and actually get into the fucking White House before he can do shit, Bernie. What the fuck.](https://www.reddit.com/r/politics/comments/kf636h/sen_bernie_sanders_said_he_thinks_presidentelect/gg6ju05
... keep reading on reddit ➡
The other day, I consumed 2 vials of liquid psilocybin, looking to just have a fun afternoon. It actually hit me like a freight train. For about 2 hours, I lied on my bed just tripping my dick off, unable to stand up. At one point, I believe I cusped ego death, and barely avoided it. In this "hole" that I was in mentally, I thought about my problems and how I wanted to change my life. My caffeine dependency was pretty bad, over 1 liter of high strength coffee daily. I wouldn't say I was a "porn addict" but I saw signs that it was heading that way (I have been jerkin' it once a day, every day this year despite wanting to stop). This was not a bad trip by any means, lying on the bed actually gave me some of the most intense euphoria I have ever experienced, even comparable to pure MDMA. In three days, I have had zero desire to watch pornography or drink coffee. I am not even thinking about it, it is almost as if the mushrooms just erased that desire.
Seriously I cannot see the flow of thought here, did they try to take a glacial hammer “this is a buff” meme approach to entire patch notes? Literally nerfing quality that gives speed on mf chilled ground?
For the past 3 years that I’ve lived in my 1b/1ba I’ve always felt content. Apartment living has its downsides which I’ve been annoyed with but got over. But my friend just bought a house and honestly I’ve been feeling envious which is crazy because I never desired a house before! Now my little apartment feels TINY and like an inconvenience. I keep thinking how nice it would be to have more space, how nice it would be for my 2 dogs to have a yard of their own to run around in, how nice it would be to have my own bathroom (my husband spends so much time in there), how nice it would be to paint the walls whatever color I want (my complex doesn’t even want us putting nail holes for picture frames in the wall). These thoughts have been taking up more of time than I would like to admit.
I’m not exactly sure why I’m posting this- is it just to vent, or reassurance that I’m not alone, or for someone to talk some sense in to me...probably all of the above.
> Harden knows the team as currently constructed can’t defeat the Lakers in a seven-game series, a reality that only further cements desires for a move elsewhere, sources said. With the Lakers being the reigning champions and the standard for a contender right now, Harden wants to maximize the window he still has, a source said. Brooklyn still remains atop his wish list, sources said, though other contenders still remain.
WHY YSK:
Negotiation is a necessary part of life. You have to negotiate with your family, coworkers and boss, even Reddit posters and mods. But if you negotiate based on position, it is likely that you will face many difficulties, especially because people become more committed to their positions as the argument continues, and then egos really get involved. When that happens, there can only be winners and losers. And it doesn't matter if you use hard bargaining or soft bargaining.
You will have less success if you use principled negotiation:
>1. Concentrate on interests, not positions: Positional bargaining is inefficient, contributes to each side becoming overly committed to their initial position, and often results in anger and resentment. The real issues are often related not to positions but to the conflicts “between each side's needs, desires, concerns, and fears” (p. 40).4 For instance, a complex conflict between you and a real estate developer next door might really be about your need for quiet and the developer’s need for money.
>
>2. Concentrate on the problem, not on people: When you focus on finding a solution to the problem, not defeating your opponent, egos are less likely to get in the way. But in situations where you do need to focus on people, do try to appreciate and value their input, see them as partners (not opponents), respect their autonomy and status, and be mindful of the roles they (and you) are playing in the negotiations.
>
>3. Explore a variety of options: Since making decisions in the presence of your opponent or searching for only one (perfect) solution hampers creativity, set aside some time to come up with a variety of mutually beneficial solutions before working on reaching an agreement.
>
>4. Use objective criteria: To prevent a negotiator from getting advantageous results by simply being very stubborn, make sure the final agreement reflects an objective standard that does not depend only on the will of the parties.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-new-home/202012/the-psychology-negotiation-explained
Of course, nothing is quite as satisfying as defeating someone in a conflict and if that's your goal, then that's fine. But if you are more concerned with getting what you want and less concerned with dominating or overpowering another person, then
... keep reading on reddit ➡
I'm extremely livid with you men folk tonight. Sorry not sorry. If you come to a place of business and your server, host, attendant whatever is being friendly towards you it is not for any reason an invite for you to hit on or proceed with any kind of romantic actions. This goes for ladies too as I'm sure there are some aggressive women out there pursuing men who are just trying to do their job. That said, take a hint and save your antics for another place or time and let the nice man or lady do their work. It is literally my job to be kind warm and welcoming, not to mention the big HUGE sparkly ring on my married ass finger (why do people ignore the wedding bands???) I don't want to get to know you, I don't want your phone number, your transaction is done please leave. I get it, it's incredibly hard to meet people during a pandemic but please don't ruin someone's day by putting them into weird situations while trying to do their job ESPECIALLY if you are being hit with polite no's, redirects and refocuses to the topic of getting your ass taken care of and onward with your life. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.
I’ve always fantasized about moving to another country and starting a completely new life. It doesn’t even matter if I know zero people & will have to start from scratch.. in fact, the idea of starting afresh and being able to build a whole new life far far away from my Nparents has always been so tantalising to me.
I think for me it’s about fully gaining control of my life because they’ve always expected me to stay closeby and harped on about the importance of ties to one’s family/heritage. I’m LC/NC with them but I still have this burning desire to get away because I think maybe the places I’ve lived in are tarnished with traumatic memories of abuse during my childhood/early twenties as I was coming out of the fog.
Now that I’m recently married and my husband and I are discussing where we want to live and raise kids, the fact that fulfilling this dream in the near future is an actual possibility is filling me with so much joy. I want to start a new chapter from the ground up in a place where my parents have absolutely no association. I want to finally be the person I’ve always suppressed.
Does anyone else feel this way? Even after going LC/NC?
*Thank you guys for all your comments! I’m so glad to know I’m not alone in feeling this way. I’ve had a look at some of them and want to clarify a few things:
- I’m in therapy and have been for a few years since my early twenties, so I’m actively dealing with my trauma and healing. I’m in a much better place than I was before and I know my trauma isn’t going to magically disappear by moving to a different city/country.
- I live in a really small city so my chances of bumping into toxic family members/their flying monkeys are very high, hence my desire to leave and start afresh. To illustrate how small this place is, I’ve had a toxic family member discover they had mutual contacts in my former company and try to poison my colleagues against me by waging a smear campaign full of lies. I’m NC with this person and hadn’t spoken to them in years when this happened. I also just don’t vibe with the culture and people in this city in general.
- Between my husband and I, we’re fortunate to have several options available to us (multiple citizenships), so it’s a matter of carefully planning where is feasible for us to start a new life and raise a family. We’re not planning to impulsively run off to a new country without considering our options.
It is about recognizing that a woman’s body cannot fix your personal problems. It is about living the best version of yourself, rather than managing your decline. It is about learning how to maintain eye-contact. It is about exercising confidence and clarity of mind. It is about time management and discipline.
It is about not only taking responsibility, but also distinguishing good actions from bad actions. Then having the courage to make the good actions, and refrain from making the bad actions.
It is about learning how to be a winner, specifically learning how to choose to be a winner.
It is about learning to do what is right when no one is watching. It is about exercising moral courage in darkness.
It about learning to be a better father. To be able to exemplify manliness to your son. It is about being a better husband, in that you are solely devoted to your wife.
It is about independence and dignity, so you are not a slave to sex.
Sex is not the goal. It is a side-effect of the goal. Marriage, love, joy, happiness, are more likely to occur when you make good choices. Nofap cuts off the escape into fantasy, forcing us to exercise self-control. Self-control leads to better choices. Better choices lead to be better results.
Sex is not the finish line of Nofap, because Nofap never finishes. Resisting PMO will continue even after you are married. In addition self-control will be necessary even after your married.
<Love you all & God bless>
Fear - you can ask the person what they fear and they are compelled to tell you. Also you can ask for the origin of the fear and they are compelled to explain it to you
Desire - you can ask what the person what they desire and they are compelled to tell you, including subconscious desires they are not aware of
Secret - you can ask what the person is hiding and they are compelled to tell you. Also you can ask why they were keeping it a secret
Relationship - you can ask what the person’s opinion of another is and how they truly feel. This includes relationships with you and any subconscious feelings they may not be aware of
Madden’s been kind of stale to begin with lately and for me personally has been a lot less enjoyable. The playoff promo brought some nice cards in and was somewhat exciting but I think most of us were exciting for series 4. 2 good power up passes, team captain upgrades, and the level packs. Of course, the odds don’t even go up. In fact some of them have gone down. The team captains all cap at 91 speed so 3 of them are unusable aside from theme teams. On top of this bullshit, THEY GET RID OF THE LEVEL PACKS. They replaced level packs with some bullshit $20 pack that odds are is gonna be worth 10k. They also give us a 250k pack to buy with coins to get a redux that, of course, odds are it’s going to be worth 10k. Not to mention, they literally gave us that exact pack in the store for 7k training so who the fuck is gonna spend 250k on it? Cant wait until this shit hole of a company looses NFL rights and we can at least get a football game that is literally 10% better than the Madden franchise.
I do have a young child so it’s not all about me and what I want- because much of my life revolves around him—but it is about how to have peace in my life where I am in my current personal circumstances (including being a single mom) while still working toward where I want to be in the future.
Life is f*cking short.
Life is f*cking weird, too.
Life is also pretty f*cking cool, especially when you’re open and curious.
And I just want to live and know that how I’m choosing to live is in line with who I really am.
Even including when I need to sleep for an entire day to rest and recover. Or when I want to hide out for awhile and hibernate and ignore everyone. Sometimes I actually really enjoy doing this. I am tired of thinking I need to be busy and productive and “on” 24/7 to be useful.
I want to be in nature more. I want to do more art and writing because I like these things. And I do want to work toward my future career in the future because money and financial freedom are important to me- especially when my son it out of the home- I will want traveling and things to fill the empty nest for me. I want to buy land and a tiny home. At the same time, I no longer care if I’m the best student or even the best worker. I’m fine with being mediocre.
I’m starting to realize literally no one probably cares that much about me or what I’m doing- which is very freeing.
I want to live life on my own terms and with my own set of values and priorities.
