I don’t really have anyone else to tell, since i was too ashamed to tell anyone I was in debt. It was all my fault - got a big raise at work a year and a half ago, and went crazy spending money until suddenly, my credit cards were maxed out.
Well, I buckled down, and made regular payments to both cards for over a year now. And finally today, on the last day of 2020, I paid the last $3000 across two statements.
I can now finally say I’m debt free, and it feels amazing.
Background info: I (32F) and my husband (31M) have been married for almost seven years. I am a stay at home mom because child care is too expensive for our three kids and he works in Education.
Four years ago, my husband had an affair and left me and the kids. During that time, he took out multiple credit cards to fund his new lifestyle and maxed out most of them. He also leased a brand new car. After he realized how stupid he was being, he ended the relationship and asked to work it out. Our finances were separated before and a year after this all took place. Any and all debt was in our individual names. After awhile, the card payments got to be too much for him to handle so he decided just to stop paying them (I know...🤦🏾♀️). I was not aware of this. I lost my job a year later due to health reasons and he insisted on doing the finances since he still had a job that directly deposited his checks.
Over the last four years, I became aware of how much debt he was in because the debt collectors started calling my phone looking for him. By this time, they were all in collections. I didn't realize how bad it was until last year when we needed a new car because the lease on his was up and the dealership told him that he couldn't lease a new car because of his credit score. That finally made him have a come to Jesus moment and check things out. He has over $10k in credit card debt and since we couldn't afford to pay $600 in car payments to outright buy the leased car, he now owes the dealership an additional $8k.
The issue: I have a total of $4k in credit card debt that is still active. I diligently pay on them every month. Up until a few months ago, that was the only part of our finances that I controlled. Now that I'm healthier, I'm better able to handle our day to day finances which is great because he keeps screwing us over. With this latest stimulus check, I wanted to pay off a good chunk of that debt to boost my credit score and save us money every month. My husband doesn't understand why I'm not for paying his debt at the same time as his. My reasoning is that paying my debt saves money off our current bills, my debt is active and so it has a more immediate effect on a credit score, my debt is much smaller, and to be quite honest I don't see why my goal of increasing my score should have to be delayed in order to pay off the debt from his affair. I'm all fine with starting the repayment process AFTER mine is cleared but not before.
AITA?
Tl;dr My h
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