My F39 late husband passed away when our daughter was 10 years old. He inherited a land from his mom and decided to leave it as it is. He didn't invest in it he just decided that he'd leave it for our daughter. Before he died we had a few conversations that were unwanted but necessary. And he made it clear that the land goes to our daughter. Our daughter is now 15 years old. I married my now Husband Josh who has a chronically sick son aged 17. I have a job and so I help with hospital bills/medication/4 months ago I paid X money to get my stepson the medical device he needed but that's just a temporary solution. I do all I can and the money I have left is for basic everyday needs. My husband isn't doing well financially. His work was affected by our circumstances and he's struggling.
About a month ago Josh brought up the land and asked questions about it. I told him that I don't plan on doing anything with it and it will be my daughter's decision when she's older. He never brought it up again until last week. He came back from the hospital looking very angry. He said he got into an argument with his family for refusing to help him with my stepson's surgery in March. He asked me if I could sell the land use some if the money for my stepson's surgery and give the rest to my daughter. I told him I can't. He told me I'm her parent meaning that I get to decide on what to do with the land and it's not like I will get into legal troubles because I have the authority to do what I want. We argued back and forth and he lashed out at me saying I was being selfish and prioritizing my daughter over his son He said he already made plans because he couldn't wait any longer and needed the money so he expects me to pitch in and help. His words were hurtful because I can't count the times I helped with both money and effort and just because I told him I can't do anything with the land he calls me selfish.
We got nowhere after this argument His last sentence before he walked out was "I hope your conscience will let you sleep at night". And it was awful. I cried because he was putting a lot of pressure on me and refusing to see that all I got for my daughter's future is this land that her dad left her. Most of my salary is spent on my stepson and his needs. His sister called me asking why I was arguing with him and making him stressed out when he's dealing with so much already. I don't know what he told her but he probably lied. He's not speaking to me right now and is tryi
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Know F.A.S.T.
F - Face Drooping
A - Arm Weakness
S - Speech
T - Time to call 911 in U.S./999 in U.K (even better to drive them immediately if you can get them into a vehicle, "Time is Brain", meaning the longer the stroke lasts the worse the damage can be. And I often heard the stroke doctors talking about the short window of time they had to be able to give the TPA protocol when I worked in the hospital)
EDIT: "IV tPA should be administered to all eligible acute stroke patients within 3 hours of last known normal and to a more selective group of eligible acute stroke patients (based on ECASS III exclusion criteria) within 4.5 hours of last known normal. Centers should attempt to achieve door-to-needle times of <60 minutes in ≥50% of stroke patients treated with IV tPA."
https://www.acc.org/latest-in-cardiology/ten-points-to-remember/2018/01/29/12/45/2018-guidelines-for-the-early-management-of-stroke#:~:text=IV%20tPA%20should%20be%20administered,hours%20of%20last%20known%20normal.
EDIT: Getting messages saying it is bad advice to advise not to call 911. Let me be clear, you should call 911 for their advice and on which hospital you should go to, and if the person can't walk, obviously they need an ambulance. But in my specific case, my parents live in the country so we would have been waiting AT LEAST 30 minutes for an ambulance to arrive, precious time to assess and load my dad into the ambulance, and then drive back into the city. In my case, it made sense to just load up and go, but we probably should have had 911 on the line while we were driving.
Additional symptoms:
Sudden Numbness
Sudden Confusion
Sudden Trouble-Seeing
Sudden Trouble-Walking
Sudden Severe Headache
Prologue: I worked at a hospital that is a stroke center from 2010-2014 as a grunt. Dad is a retired doctor.
I went to my parent's early on Christmas Eve 2020, was helping dad put heavy stuff in the attic. Afterward, he said he needed to vacuum but could not say the word "vacuum", and then said "am I having a stroke?" I thought, "fuck". Then he said vacuum, and walked to his bedroom, and I hoped it was just a brain fart and he was fine. Nope, he comes into living room and sits down in chair, and he can't speak. At all. He points to his mouth. No facial drooping. I later learned he meant he was drooling. I thought, "fuck, fuck, fuck". I knew he was having a stroke. Mom walked by, I said "dad is having a stroke". Sh
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I’ve (M16) lived with my grandparents my whole life. My mom took off when I was a baby and haven’t seen her since. So my dad left me with his parents and they basically raised me. My dad was kind of around but not really
He’d sometimes come to take me to his house for the night every month, drop me off and be gone again.
As I kid I used to always ask him how come I can’t live with him and his reason was always because he works a lot. When I got older I sorta saw the truth which is he likes to live single life style. He’s had like a million girlfriends and that’s how I ended up with 4 other half sibs.
But u know they still live with their moms so we only get to hangout when it’s my dad’s custody time because he just leaves them at my grandparents and doesn’t hangout with any of us.
We’re all used to it by now but what’s annoying is to his girlfriends and friends he acts like he’s a hero for being a single dad. He talks about how hard it is. Then brings me up specifically because my mom walked out so it’s like he cares for me full-time. I usually don’t say anything but it bothers me.
He made a FB post the other day. It was an older pic of him with me and my brothers the one time he took us to a soccer game 4 years ago. He was talking about “sacrifices” but it’s worth being a single dad. This made me mad and I commented “u haven’t even come to the house in like a month”
Which is true haven’t seen him since a few days after thanksgiving. He deleted his post and got mad at me for embarrassing him. My dad said I was being disrespectful and I don’t know what it’s like to be a single dad providing for us so I don’t get to act that way.
He was really mad about it and after I thought about it for some time I guess it was petty to embarrass him by calling out his bs so I wanted to know if it was asshole-ish for doing it
My(28F) sister Amanda(30F) never met her bio-mom. My dad(51M) raised her alone until she was barely 1, my dad and my mom got married in 1992.
Amanda knew that my mom wasn't her bio-mother, she started pressuring my dad for information on her mom when she was around 17, my dad always gave her vague answers and refused to talk about her bio mom, which put a strain on their relationship.
Enters our uncle (49M) and revealed the ''family secret'', apparently, Amy's mom wanted an abortion (she was 19), but my dad and his parents were able to ''bribe'' her, they offered her money if she followed up with the pregnancy, and she accepted, my grandparents sold one of their houses and gave her half of that money to Amy's mom when the pregnancy was viable, and the other half she received when she waived her parental rights over Amy to let my mom adopt her when she was 4.
My uncle wasn't supposed to tell her that, my grandparents were furious. Amy stopped her crusade to met her bio-mom and her relationship with my dad went back to normal, Amy never mentioned her bio-mom again, dad got her into therapy after that.
A month ago, Amy found out that she was pregnant, the pregnancy was an accident, she switched birth controls. The problem being, Amy is about to start her surgical residency and her hours are insane, it is basically impossible to raise a baby while working in that rhythm, so she wanted an abortion, the problem is that Mark(35M) her fiancé (6 years together) wanted her to keep the baby, it caused a big fight.
In a dick move to convince Amy to keep the baby, Mark told dad about this (until that point no one in our family knew about this), dad talked with her and they got into an enormous fight. Amy went got the abortion 10 days ago, Mark ended up breaking up with her, she is obviously really sad.
My dad was acting like a jerk, he was pretending that Amy didn't exist, he didn't want to talk or see her.
So on Christmas day, we were exchanging gifts, when everyone had already finished giving each other gifts dad got up and gave Amy her ''present'', he gave her an envelope in front of everyone and told her to open it.
It was 3 pictures with something written on the back, a name, an address, and a phone number.
Dad told her that he was tired of ''babying'' her, that this is a photo of her bio-mom and her two sons, that was her bio-mom address, and that he contacted her bio-mom and she is willing to speak with Amy, he gave her Amy's number, dad thinks that th
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My parents got divorced in 2018 and are both remarried now, my dad's wife is pretty chill, she's really young and we get along well. She can't have kids, she and my dad travel, she's super cool, and I like her. My mom's husband is sort of strict and he's really into his kid. He's supposedly mildly autistic (he knows better than to do what he's doing, he's 17 and he goes to an Ivy for university) and he's the main reason why I'm moving out of my mom's.
My mom's husband's son has made me into what I guess I would call his special person. He's constantly following me, he doesn't give me any privacy, he has absolute meltdowns when I try to leave the house or go out with my friends, he slams on the door and screams when I'm in the bathroom or when I lock my door, my stepdad took down my door because I locked it to get away from his son and my mom was silent and didn't defend me because I've realized that I'm only living with her because I take the heat off of her and I'm suffering because she doesn't want to deal with him.
This isn't the way I want to live my life, I feel like a prisoner and I constantly walking on eggshells, I didn't sign up for this and I'm not interested in being the primary caretaker of some man's nearly adult child who he won't take care of or discipline, his son manipulates people into giving in because they don't want to argue or fight, and he pretends to not understand but he's going advanced psychology classes at an Ivy League, he has to know what he's doing and how he's making me feel because I've looked in books and read them and I'm autistic and I've explained in ways that make sense to me but he doesn't care about what he's done to me.
Anyway, a few days before Christmas, I told my mom that I wouldn't be coming back to her place in the new year and she got heated and yelled at me and told me that I didn't have a choice, she turned on the waterworks and my stepdad called me a selfish bitch, and she had a complete meltdown where he had to get her water and she was crying. I simply told her that I turn 18 on 1/2/2021 and that if she wants to go to court, I'll see her there. She's been texting me now and blowing up my phone asking me to come back but I just send her that Chris Evans "no, I don't think I will" meme and I feel like an avoidant piece of shit.
AITA?
I need to hear from others on this.
When I (21f) was 8 my mom died. Two years later he was married again. That first Christmas after he remarried I asked my dad if we could spend a few hours Christmas Eve at the lake we used to go to every year with my mom, just the two of us. He said sure but then brought his wife and her two kids along and we spent it together. I was so upset and mad and it ruined the intention of going, to have one last moment where I felt like it was just the three of us--not really but it brought a closeness when we went there just the two of us and I wanted it one last time. I always made it known it wasn't what I wanted and my dad knew I was mad. But he always talked about how that was one of his favorite Christmas memories because it brought back our first family Christmas. I always wondered if he was talking like that to try and convince me that I felt the same way because he always ignored my feelings on it.
Anyway, I was talking to him for a little while yesterday and he brought up the memory again and I asked him to stop. He told me he didn't know what I meant and I told him the memory might have been his favorite Christmas memory but I hated it and I did not look back fondly on it. He asked me how I could hate the memory of the first Christmas we had as a family with his wife and her kids. I told him because I had wanted one last Christmas memory of just the two of us. I said even an hour would have been better but he ruined it by including them. He said he thought I understood why they were included and I said no, he just didn't want to accept that I was mad about it. He told me it was important to cement family bonds and I told him if I could I would gladly forget that memory. He got mad and told me I didn't need to try and shame him for loving that memory. I told him I just wanted him to stop bringing it up to me.
He's demanding an apology and he told me I am selfish for saying a memory was ruined because we included our family. I told him he would never understand and I hung up on him. He messaged me after and told me he still wants the apology and for me to get over myself.
AITA?
My dad got married two years ago. His wife has three young kids under the age of 6. I (20f) was out of the house when they moved in together (they moved in together about two months before they got married) and I don't have much contact with them because I go to college and work several states away from them. I say this because back in April my dad asked me would I be willing to be the kids guardian should he and his wife pass away. I said no. He said he understood and that they would figure something else out. His wife then asked me the same question and I gave her the same response. Twice more she called after that and then in December she called again, more ready than ever. She told me that I would be the only option for the kids because she has no family and my dad's family don't want to take them either. She asked would I really not want my siblings if they were gone. I said they're not my siblings and no, I do not want to be responsible for them if she and my dad were to pass. She said she would write it out in her will anyway and I told her she can't because I do not want to take them and she will mess with them more if she doesn't find someone else.
She said it was rude to tell her what she could and couldn't do, especially regarding her kids.
My dad said he knows she pushed but I need to understand they are worried about what could happen and that it never hurts to have a plan in place so he would like me to smooth things over with his wife.
So tell me Reddit.
AITA?
