Hello. Long time, no see. I’m changing some minor details in the hopes of minor anonymity. I wanted to put the flair as “exit strategy,” but “visa” seems more appropriate and less tongue-in-cheek.
I’ll be able to apply for PR soon, as long as my current visa application for a spouse renewal goes through smoothly. This “working theory” of a question is based on the hope that I get 3 or 5 years.
Short backstory: I have been having issues with my Japanese husband since the pandemic hit last year. Years of happiness have turned into an abusive nightmare and towards the end of 2020 we had a major incident that I decided to try to forgive him for. I imagine this was as obvious to anyone else as it is now obvious to me, but the “we’re moving forward together” phase of an incident of physical violence does not last forever. *Apologies were said, semi-dogeza was done, and he has been taking responsibility up until recently. It certainly felt like it has been going well... but oh well, I suppose.
Question 1: “If my depressed husband is mentally unwell and cannot help me with the PR application, can I use a lawyer/scrivener as his/my proxy to collect his documents and do whatever needs doing to fulfill my application requirements?” I believe the answer to this is yes, because my husband would just sign a paper letting the third party get his paperwork/documents for him.
My bigger potential problem has lead me to wonder about Question 2: “If my abusive husband realizes that I am gunning for PR so that I can leave him, what kind of actions can I take to try to complete the application without his cooperation and without a divorce?” He will not divorce me himself, I know this without a doubt. However he could become uncooperative if he realizes my push to rush the PR application is based in making an escape route for myself. He doesn’t seem to mind self sabotage (not paying for his pension or health insurance, not working, sleeping through meetings, etc) because of his depression.
His depressed self-sabotage is sabotaging me, at this point. I am largely empathetic to his situation (encouraging therapy, will talk to the doctor about returning to medication to what it was two weeks ago) but the empathy stops when he starts getting violent again. He was banging on the table, mad at whatever I said, and then locked himself in the bedroom when I gently tried to bring it up this evening. I have to protect myself first a foremost.
The last week and the event... keep reading on reddit ➡
This has happened three times to me already. The DDS examiner calls me to confirm my address and email, then tells me to look out for a consult appointment confirmation in the mail but I never receive it. Instead, my claim just gets denied for “insufficient evidence” (though, I’ve hand delivered AND certified mailed over 600 pages of relevant medical records).
Now, I know that the SSDI system is completely fucked and there’s a lot of asinine stuff going on in the determination process, but this is a completely new level. This is my 4th initial application and what happens is I’ll be told via phone that they’re going to schedule a consult but that never happens. They just deny my claim days after that phone call. I feel like this behavior should be reported but I don’t know who to report it to. My AG’s office? A state representative? There’s something incredibly sketch going on at my SSA office and I believe it’s not just contained to my local office. Has anyone here noticed this behavior or other completely unfair and unwarranted treatment by the SSA?
No spoilers, but this felt relevant, given today's other posts. Names, details, etc. changed for privacy and because I'm not a total jerk.
Apologies, this got a bit long. Please still read it.
When I LARP as a neurohospitalist, things tend to come in waves. Not precisely the same things, mind you. The fine details are endlessly, fractally variable - but the broader brush strokes, much less so. If I see two cardioembolic stroke patients in a day, I can be sure that another five are waiting or actively infarcting in the emergency room. I diagnosed three new cases glioblastoma multiforme (1) in three days. Strangely enough, they all came in between 12-2pm on consecutive days, as if by USPS. A year ago, I diagnosed three new cases of HSV encephalitis in much the same fashion; in proper public health fashion, I confirmed that they all lived distantly from one another, and shared no friends, prostitutes, or toilet seats.
No week is more challenging, however, than the week in which you receive a pallet-full of altered mental status consults. I should take a moment here to point out that that this isn't the kind of challenging you went into medicine for - there's no wiping sweat off your brow, pouring fluids into beakers, or examining blood samples under microscopes till the early morning. You never get to stare up through the ceiling and directly into the eyes of the Almighty, announce that it isn’t this old bitch's time yet, and then - remaining sterile, of course - jam a needle into their living heart with both hands.
Rather, it's challenging because, in most cases, the obvious things have been done and there isn't much left to offer. There's very rarely an exciting or sexy diagnostic consideration left on the table (2). It only remains to be accepted that, after a certain amount of labs and imaging, obtunded patients will stay obtunded and worried families will stay worried. The patients that generally merit the dreaded “AMS” neuro consult are ill, and often have been for quite some time. Quite a few of these patients have also been alive long to have had lots of other conditions crop up and become chronic - so their medical burden is typically high, even prior to this most recent admission for pooping out a kidney or what have you. To add insult to injury, their labs have only recently become non-catastrophic.
Not to be glib, but it's pretty rare that an MRI ordered by neurology will lead to the patient sitting up and starting a nuance... keep reading on reddit ➡
I’m on mobile so I apologize for the typos.
Earlier this month I saw a HIMS AME for a consultation about an adjustment disorder with anxiety diagnosis I received from my therapist in 2020. This diagnosis was due to some relationship struggles as well as pandemic-adjacent anxiety I was experiencing.
The long and short of it is, those who said this was going to be a lengthy and expensive problem were wrong for once. I brought with me all of my charts from the past six months of therapy with every document my therapists office had in their possession (the initial diagnosis and a letter clarifying my diagnosis was resolved were the most important). Seeing as my symptoms were addressed and resolved, I was never medicated and my AME had all necessary documents, I was eligible for issuance without being differed or needing to submit anything special to the FAA. As this was just a consult, I made an appointment for the actual first class medical exam later this month; the AME is confident that, baring any unknown physical ailments, I should walk out of his office with my medical in hand.
Anyone who recommends trying to fool your AME with a fake name or by paying in cash has clearly never been to a doctors office. I honestly attempted using a nickname for the consult and sharpied out some identifying info on all of my documents I had him look over; all that this accomplished was make me look outright daft, and the AME told me so. If you’re paying for a consult you’re asking for advice, you’re not at risk of your doctor calling up the FAA to spread gossip after you leave: if they did, this would be a direct violation of HIPPA and wouldn’t be of any interest to the examiner in the first place. If you’re worried about a mental or physical health issue that may affect your medical, schedule a consult with a AME (I recommend a HIMS AME if only for their experience with complex cases). Be honest. They aren’t rats. They aren’t trying to ruin your career. You are paying them, quite substantially, to be helpful and to share their expertise with you. An AME isn’t bound to share info with the FAA or even at liberty to unless you are applying for your medical.
Thanks for all of the doomsday predictions, they really made the final result that much sweeter.
I am 33 and my husband is 34. After about 7 months of trying, we decided to get a fertility workup just to be safe and luckily Kaiser didn't make us wait. My HSG got delayed for a few months because of Covid and I finally did it 3 weeks ago. The results were not great--adhesions around both tubes, although there was spillage after increased pressure. One tube is almost (not completely) blocked, and the other is functional but still has adhesions around it. My RE suspects endometriosis caused the adhesions. I have not had an ultrasound.
I couldn't get a follow-up appointment right away, so I messaged my RE and asked if this means we need to do IVF. He said we have a "low (non-zero) chance of conception compared to IVF." I let him know that we'd like to get started right away and he gave us the information for an IVF center that he works with regularly. Our appointment with the IVF center was today.
The IVF doctor went over the HSG and our labs, which include slightly low AMH for my age (1.16) and decreased morphology (3-4%) for my husband. He basically said this: you're relatively young in the world of IVF and you haven't been trying all that long. You have at least one functional tube. Your husband's morphology is not a big deal because his overall count is high. Your AMH is low for your age but not objectively low. You may want to consider trying for a few more months since 2-3 extra months doesn't affect your IVF chances at your age.
I was surprised by this, namely because I assumed that adhesions around both tubes, even if one of them is technically functional, severely decreases the odds of conception. He then basically said that HSGs are primitive diagnostic tools. They are helpful but don't tell the whole story, and the only way to know for sure is laparoscopy, which he doesn't recommend. He said the fact that there is spillage, at least on one tube, is a good sign. He thinks our chances of natural conception each month are somewhere around 10-15%. Obviously, since he owns the clinic and has an interest in us choosing IVF, I appreciate that he wasn't pushing us in that direction immediately.
Given how expensive IVF is, we were happy to learn that we still may have a shot, but we're not super optimistic. We plan to try for two more cycles before going back. I guess I am surprised because I went down the internet doomsday rabbit hole after my HSG and was feeling very hopeless. Part of me wants to get this process over wit... keep reading on reddit ➡
Hello Floater-Sufferers. I am an ophthalmologist with a self-proclaimed sub-specialty focus in treating eye floaters with a YAG laser. I have been doing this exclusively since 2007. This problem of floaters in younger people is frustrating to me as well as I would like to be able to offer something, but unfortunately so few of my younger patients are candidates for treatment as their eye floaters are ( if they can even be seen on exam) too close to the retina to be safely treated. The vitrectomy? Even if you are desperate and willing to do anything, it would be near impossible to convince a retinologist to do a risky and invasive procedure on someone with good corrected vision, a healthy retina, and for a condition that can't really be documented. It is way too much medico-legal risk for the doctor. I lurk in the shadows on this sub-reddit to see what is going on but rarely comment. I read over and over that those who are looking into using atropine for symptomatic relief are having hurdles when it comes to finding an ophthalmologist willing to empathize and write a script...and then I am not even sure what the compounding pharmacies will be charging for the atropine drops. Maybe someone can comment as to the costs involved with their experience. I have some details to sort out, but I am thinking about offering video/telemedicine consultations with me personally and included with that I will mail a small sample bottle of the atropine drops for use for 1-2 weeks or so. If you like it I'll create a system where you can order more through my medical practice. I have never done telemedicine before, so I need to sort out what my State's requirements are and all that. If there is an interest please comment below. I don't know if this can be done internationally, so I may have to start with the United States first. I would like to make it worth my time, but also to keep it affordable as many of you are just getting started in life. If this post is inappropriate and is seen by the moderators as a shameless self promotion, I will apologize in advance and take it down. James H. Johnson, MD 'The Floater Doctor' TheFloaterDoctor.com (PS, just moved the practice from California to the Dallas-Ft. Worth area.)
Hi r/Gis, As the title suggests, I'm a novelist currently looking for someone to help me with some geography-related questions for the second novel in my trilogy. I'm a game writer by profession (known mostly for my work on Enderal) and published my debut novel last December, which, so far, has been well-received.
Though I write in a fantasy setting, I'm a sucker for realism. I don't shy away from doing my research, but in my experience, it's far more efficient to cooperate with someone knowledgable in the pertinent field. I worked with a fantastic cartographer for the first book, but he wasn't availble for this one, hence I'm currently looking for someone new, both to ask every once in a while, ask geography-related questions (the new novel takes place in a desert continent) and, later, to create a (rough) draft of a map of the continent, which the talented Francesca Baerald will then translate artistically.
Of course, I'd credit and pay for your help, though my restricted indie budget means I can't pay industry rates. It probably sounds like a lot more work than it is - most of my questions will boil down to questions like "Hey, I'd like there to be a savannah down in the south, is that realistic?" or "What would a winter look like in a sand desert oasis?" Of course, I'll try to find the answers myself first before consulting you so as not to waste any more time than necessary. :)
I contacted a psychology clinic that provides autism assessments and they asked me if I wanted to be added to the waitlist. I’m currently not 100% sure that I am autistic and want to discuss my reasonings with someone before applying for an assessment.
Do you think it would be appropriate to ask the psychologists in the clinic themselves for advice on whether I show autistic traits and if they recommend me to take it?
I went in for my initial consult fertility clinic appointment today and thought I’d share what that was like and how that went.
They give you some paperwork to fill out about prior vaccinations (measles and chicken pox are the big ones for ttc which I was tested for immunity for about 9 months ago). They also ask about what steps you’ve taken for fertility (any blood work, if you use opks)
There’s paperwork for your partner about any of his history as well and if he’s done a semen analysis (he had but the sample got contaminated so no results were given). I did not look at his other questions and made him fill out the form himself.
I did my normal doctor intake stuff: weight, height, medications (I brought my prenatals in which was helpful to the nurse but they also wanted to know the exact amount of vitamin d3 I was taken), health history (conditions/surgeries/mental health)
Had a consult with a doctor who was not my scheduled doctor to go over my goals for this first meeting and my health numbers/trends etc. I told her about my short luteal phases and how I was not a doctor but I was hoping to try progesterone to see if it could lengthen them. They also wanted to tell us about genetic carrier testing which they typically recommend testing before treatment. This would test for things like fragile x and a few others.
The actual doctor I was scheduled with came in with a plan. They agreed with prescribing progesterone and I get to pick up that prescription today (yay, vaginal suppository... !). If I don’t get pregnant this cycle, they want to do a baseline ultrasound and more blood work. Then they want to do an hsg to check if my tubes are blocked. I was happy my husband was there so he could hear in detail about how they’re going to stick a catheter in me and do a dye contrast and how uncomfortable/crampy it’ll be.
Then they sent us home and the genetic carrier testing people will be getting ahold of us as well as the financial counselor (I want them to go through my insurance and I’m not sure they get many people with infertility insurance).
I felt good overall about the visit because I emphasized wanted to do something besides just testing and they did take me seriously about progesterone so I’m very happy to walk away with that prescription. My husband accurately noted that all he has to do is jizz into a cup and I need to be poked and prodded (although I did joke to the doctor asking if we can hook him up to a ca... keep reading on reddit ➡
I've spent HOURS of my life consulting Google about a man's behavior. Stuff like:
Yeah, no. If a man is acting right, you won't feel the need to Google about his shady behavior. You'll just feel like everything is fine, there won't be anxiety on your part because his behavior makes you feel secure. Your subconscious isn't telling you that you need to keep alert and be watchful.
Also, do you really think the guy you're dating is Googling about your behavior to see if everything is fine? NAH, they don't care enough to find out. They'll string you along so they can get sex and companionship.
So to conclude, if you recently spent more than 30 minutes Googling about a man's behavior, take this post as a sign that you need to reconsider his presence in your life.
The intern holding the consult pager isnt necessarily going to know when your patient is going to the OR if it's an add on case. You should know this as another resident. The OR charge and anesthesia handle the timing of add on cases depending on staffing and room availability. You can call the OR as easily as I can. You can also access the OR statusboard as easily as I can. Paging/messaging the consult resident to ask if we know timing is a classic case of wasting time by making an unnecessary middle man. Please know better than the nurses that hammer page us with this same question. Please and thank you!
Edit Of course we replied politely that we wouldn't really know until it was going and that contacting the OR charge would be faster than asking us.