[Long] I've been having trouble explaining how I feel about the Discovery and Picard series. CBS helped me put my feelings into words.

From the beginning, I wanted Discovery to be good. I disliked the original drawings of the ships and the prequel premise. But how I also hated the art and premise of DS9 at first, and now I regard that show as the best Star Trek series. I disliked Enterprise at first because of the way they changed canon, and the overuse of the time-travel trope that gets old and confusing fast. But in the end, it was still Star Trek. Even The Next Generation had an absolutely horrible first season, born of unfinished scripts from the late 60's that didn't age well. (Looking at you "Code of Honor.") But thank god we didn't judge Trek too harshly too early.

Some call it "woke, liberal trash," Others call it "regressive and conservative." But whatever politics you subscribe to, when you look at the Trek that's come out of CBS lately, it's awful writing. There is none of the optimism, that we as a species can overcome our differences. Instead, it's hero bashing.

Look at Discovery for a second. We begin with Spock's second "unknown about" sibling. (You'd think we'd have heard about a foster sister around the same time we learned of his half-brother, Sybok... in Star Trek 5... )

Michael is our hero, but we can't have heroes in our new show, so we need to make her an anti-hero. So she's convicted of mutiny, for an act that her captain didn't punish her for. In fact the captain almost immediately took her, and her alone, and armed, on a dangerous away mission. Mutiny. The only death sentence in the Federation, that no one has been found guilty of in the history of the Federation, because she gave an order that was not followed, and was based on a prediction that was correct. (You would think her brother would remember that.)

>CHEKOV: Has there ever been a mutiny on a starship before?
>
>SPOCK: Absolutely no record of such an occurrence, Ensign.
>
>TOS: Ep 3x09 "The Tholian Web", Original Airdate: 15 Nov, 1968

The crew of the USS Discovery, who were not survivors of her former ship, knew Burnham on sight as a mutineer, but roughly 10 years later, Chekov doesn't know it happened, and Spock claims there's no record. But I digress, like I said, better Trek series have messed up the canon, so let's move past that. The point is that Burnham isn't a hero, from the beginning. After that point, the standard "hero" of a Star Trek ensemble cast, the captain, is a villain. Lorca is an imposter, Georgiou is the Emperor of the m

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👍︎ 50
📰︎ r/Star_Trek
💬︎
📅︎ May 21 2020
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What A Day: Full-Tilt Boogaloo by Sarah Lazarus & Crooked Media (06/16/20)

"Black Lives Matter is now more popular than the president of the United States." - Tucker Carlson, new host of John Krasinski's Some Good News

Uncivil Guard

President Trump’s baseless conspiracy theories about Antifa provocateurs and impassioned defenses of monuments to the Confederacy have, predictably, emboldened right-wing fringe elements to take matters into their own hands.

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📅︎ Jun 17 2020
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The Spanish Inquisition is never created. What happens.

This is my list of what does and doesn't happen if Isabella and Ferdinand of Spain never formed the Spanish Inquisition. Tell me what you think.

(i)Muslims remain in Spain

  • In our timeline Isabella and Ferdinand after winning the Granada War of 1492 sign the treaty of Granada promising to protect the rights of Muslims. It was honored for 10 years until 1501 with the harsh intolerance of Inquisitor Cardinal Cisneros who cracked down on the Muslim community. This creates a series of events that leads to them either being forcibly converted or leaving Spain.
  • In the alternate timeline this doesn't happen. The treaty remains in place and Muslims remain in Spain. But they are second class citizens in an overwhelmingly Catholic society.

(ii)Conversos aren't burnt at the stake. But social tensions increase

  • Conversos are Jewish converts to Christianity in the 15th century. Initially their conversion was forced after a pogrom in 1391. But seeing the social benefits of conversion, many others convert and in the process gain certain social privileges from the crown. This causes resentment among the population. Society is split between Old Christians and New Christians. The Old Christians accuse the New ones of conversion just for the sake of power and economic status. This tension boils over into violence in the streets. To counter these rumours and accusations, an inquiry is formed in 1478. That is the Spanish Inquisition.
  • In this alternate timeline the inquiry is not set up. As a result the burnings of the Inquisition with regards to conversos doesn't happen. But social tensions between Old and New Christians increase into violence, causing Isabella and Ferdinand to have to institute martial law. This weakens their efforts at fighting the Granada War and the war drags on longer.

(iii)Jews are possibly not expelled from Spain. But a revolt happens as a result.

  • In our timeline the Jews in Spain are expelled in 1492. This is due to various factors. Pressure from the oligarchs in the city councils, rising antisemitism, as well as the influence of Inquisitors Tomas De Torquemada and Cardinal Cisneros who are the confessors of Isabella.
  • In this alternate timeline the Jews are possibly not expelled because Torquemada and Cisneros do not have the influence they have in ours. But this causes a revolt among the populace. Outside of the Inquisition the drivers of antisemitism in Spain are the urban oligarchs on the city and regional councils. This is
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📅︎ May 03 2020
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america

The United States of America (USA), commonly known as the United States (U.S. or US) or America, is a country consisting of 50 states, a federal district, five major self-governing territories, and various possessions.[g] At 3.8 million square miles (9.8 million km2), it is the world's third- or fourth-largest country by total area[c]. Most of the country is located in central North America between Canada and Mexico. With an estimated population of over 328 million, the U.S. is the third most populous country in the world. The capital is Washington, D.C., and the most populous city is New York City.

Paleo-Indians migrated from Siberia to the North American mainland at least 12,000 years ago.[19] European colonization began in the 16th century. The United States emerged from the thirteen British colonies established along the East Coast. Numerous disputes between Great Britain and the colonies led to the American Revolutionary War lasting between 1775 and 1783, leading to independence.[20] The United States embarked on a vigorous expansion across North America throughout the 19th century—gradually acquiring new territories,[21] displacing Native Americans, and admitting new states—until 1848 when it spanned the continent.[21] During the second half of the 19th century, the American Civil War led to the abolition of slavery in the United States.[22][23] The Spanish–American War and World War I confirmed the country's status as a global military power.

The United States emerged from World War II as a global superpower. It was the first country to develop nuclear weapons and is the only country to have used them in warfare. During the Cold War, the United States and the Soviet Union competed in the Space Race, culminating with the 1969 Apollo 11 mission, the spaceflight that first landed humans on the Moon. The end of the Cold War and collapse of the Soviet Union in 1991 left the United States as the world's sole superpower.[24]

The United States is a federal republic and a representative democracy. It is a founding member of the United Nations, World Bank, International Monetary Fund, Organization of American States (OAS), NATO, and other international organizations. It is a permanent member of the United Nations Security Council.

A highly developed country, the United States is the world's largest economy by nominal GDP, the second-largest by purchasing power parity, and accounts for approximately a quarter of global GDP.[25] The United States is the wor

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📅︎ Apr 09 2020
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This Aint No Cube This is The Platform

The Cube was cute, The Cube was fun, The Cube was a little puzzle to play with. The Platform is not a game, not unless you like very bloody, bloody games. The Platform is a metaphor in the tradition of Animal Farm or Lord of The Flies. The Platform very clearly focuses on capitalist ideology and has a secondary biblical theme as well. To be fair The Cube did what it set out to do. It was a science fiction, thriller with an interesting premise, some tense scenes and some amount of political commentary. The Platform sets its goals higher.

The premise of The Platform is that people are sentenced to prison terms in an immensely tall tower with cement rooms piled one on top of the other. Down the center of the building is a shaft. Every day a large platform makes its way down the shaft. On the platform is a sumptuous feast of the finest delicacies prepared with the highest standards. The platform descends layer by layer through the rooms and each prisoner can take as much as they want. If the first 50 rooms are greedy they leave nothing for the many more below them.

The Platform depicts a highly artificial environment full of shocking absurdity that we quickly come to recognize as not that distant from our own environment. The film distills and exaggerates in order to resonate with and then amplify currents and forces in our social and political reality. It is essential that it be both foreign and grotesque but at the same time familiar.

We are presented with a cross section of society that may or may not deserve to be in prison. The longer an individual has been in the prison the more deranged and depraved they become. Regardless of their backgrounds they are equalized by desperation.

The Platform was made in Spain and directed by Galder Gaztelu-Urrutia in 2019. The challenge with the film is to create something rich out of very limited elements. The Platform has only one location and a limited number of actors. It is limited by its own design. On one hand the paired down presentation makes its points more forcefully. The more bloody and horrific the film gets the more it exposes the violence hidden away from middle and upperclass society. On the other hand the stark nature of the film limits its ability to deal with nuance.

There were definitely aspects that recalled Bunuel films. The isolation of The Exterminating Angel in which the rich party guests cannot leave after indulging in a decadent feast. Similarly, *The Disc

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👍︎ 7
📰︎ r/horror
💬︎
👤︎ u/Boop108
📅︎ Mar 23 2020
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"Don’t Say They Didn’t Tell Us" | Reclusive Indigenous Healers from Colombia deliver a message to the world for 2020

The Mamos are are the chosen healers of Kogi society, an indigenous peoples of Colombia.

They have remained isolated from the rest of the world since the Spanish Conquistadors came to plunder South America for gold. In order to preserve their traditional way of life, they rarely interact with the modern world or with outside civilization. Outsiders are not allowed inside their ancestral lands.

The Kogi Mamos say that the balance of the earth's ecology has been suffering due to the modern-day devastation of resources by Younger Brother. The Kogi Mamos in turn believe that their work as Elder Brother is instrumental in helping to prolong and protect life on earth.

Below is their message delivered to the world on March 27th, 2020.

Don’t Say They Didn’t Tell Us.

We, the Mamos from the Heart of the World, that is also the Heart of the Universe, from our Sacred House. the Sierra Nevada de Santa Marta, Colombia, greet all our younger brothers and sisters of all the races of the world, the great brotherhood, all masters, the lightworkers, all of those who are on the path to change consciousness, to those who are awakening to a new consciousness and also to all those who are still asleep. We invite you to reflect on what is obvious, what everyone is talking about, the message that crowns us all as a single unit, in a single pain, in a single suffering, as a single humanity that suffers, cries that it is broken and that has to rise empowered, different, freed from incomprehensible egos, from values that did not help, and from powers that left us weak and tired of carrying them and that did not help when we needed them most. The Mother spoke, life shouted it in our faces, nature revealed it, the unintentional fires screamed it as a Truth.

But we did not hear them, because we were busy with grandiose work for ourselves, because they did not touch us directly, because we were busy building a better tomorrow without knowing for whom or for what. Today, we cannot say that we were caught off guard, that we were not warned, that it was a surprise. Don’t say they didn’t tell us. We, the Mamos who have learned for hundreds of generations and lineages to take time to develop communication with the higher and lower dimensions, who lived for 18 years of our present life learning to silence our minds, to desensitize our biological bodies and our senses, to extinguish our egos, to put our minds to sleep so t

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👤︎ u/itswac
📅︎ Apr 17 2020
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The TF2: Expiration Date but Scout is a furry

[The screen fades in to a shot of desert road, similar to Meet the Sniper. Light flute music plays with a soft drum accompaniment. A slow downwards pan to a crushed Bonk! can is punctured by a brass flourish. Suddenly, a Red Bread truck screeches into view from the right, knocking away the can and fishtails, nearly ripping off its rear bumper. It continues down the left lane.]

[Cut to a right side view of the van. The camera pans from the rear towards the front while a heavy drum beat plays. The logo is pock-marked with bullet holes and the white paint has been scraped off the sides. The camera continues panning and steadies at the van's open air cab, revealing a sleeping Scout, who is a furry, and the Heavy hunched over at the wheel.]

[Interior shot of the cab. The windshield has bullet holes on the left and is completely knocked out on the right. The Heavy's bulk is apparent on the left as compared to the Scout's relaxed pose with his feet on the dashboard. He is wearing a wolf fursuit, but only the boots. Fuzzy dice adorn the rear view mirror. The Heavy continues to drive the van on the right side of the road when the dashboard monitor begins to softly beep.]

[Cut to a side view of the right-hand side of the cab. The Heavy looks disapprovingly at the sleeping Scout. He returns his eyes to the road. The dashboard beeps again and the Heavy hits the Scout without taking his glance off of the road. Shaken, the Scout jerks awake.]

Scout: Gwaa! Bwaa! What?! What? Oh. 0w0

[The Scout reaches over and with his right hand, and exits out of e621.net, then pushes a button on the monitor. It is a video call from Miss Pauling.]

Miss Pauling: Scout, it's Pauling. Tell me you got the briefcase.

Scout: Yea, sure!!!!! UwU

Miss Pauling: And nobody saw you?

Scout: Ehhh. [He raises his paws and shrugs his shoulders] Basically nobody.

Miss Pauling: [Her expression darkens] Scout, I'm here right now.

Scout: Well that's a funny story...

[The cab's rear door abruptly opens and the Soldier steps out, and with his right hand, hastily pushes Scout's snout into his seat. The Scout throws up his paws, the Heavy is startled and momentarily loses control of the van, and the Soldier takes over the monitor.]

Soldier: [brightly] Hello, Miss Pauling! We killed everyone and took a briefcase!

[He brandishes a BLU briefcase ] Miss Pauling: Not everybody, Soldier. You left seven witnesses, guys.

[A bloodied hand can be seen in the background reaching for help. Miss Pauling turn

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👍︎ 9
📰︎ r/copypasta
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👤︎ u/Basil_9
📅︎ Mar 27 2020
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Sacrifice, Slavery, Subjegation...all the same thing, not always as violent, sometimes kinda nice, but always men paying with their life.

Hello all, so in my quest of doing research, and by research I mean reading wikipedia while taking a shit, I came upon this, which you can read the whole subject on Machismo: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Machismo

The psycho-social traits as can be summarized as; emotional invulnerability, patriarchal dominance, aggressive or controlling responses to stimuli and ambivalence toward women.[14][15] This is a Mexican cultural and psychological perspective, as a Mexican masculine response to conquistador Spanish conquering of the Americas.[16] It has been noted by some scholars that machismo was adopted as a form of control for the male body.[17]

As a Mexican, and a man, and in my quest to understand who I am and just curious as to what other people have been writing on what I am, the bolded sentences stuck out. It makes sense, that every conquered culture has some sort of angst, and it make sense why, the men, at the end of the day, pay the price and suffer for weakness.

as MGTOW, we see the ultimate sacrifice , OURSELVES. The modern day DIVORCE COURT SYSTEM and the SYSTEM in general has left us with no choice. Existing merely for the benefit of somebody else is the ultimate sacrifice. No life, no time to self actualize, no time to get to know yourself.

This so called TOXIC MASCULINITY is our natural response to what is going on around us. Perhaps this is why the "brown" races have just a hard time accepting being told what to do, to assimilate, because they know they are CONQUERED. They are damned if they go with the program or not, and sometimes going MGTOW is better than following rules that don’t benefit you. Anti-social behavior seems reasonable in that context. When you are the son of nobody’s with no prospects in your land and nobody around to help, raising hell is a brighter future than taking it up the ass.

One thing to understand, is that the "brown people" come to the states because they usually come from regimes that fuck people up the ass all day and the rich and elites are having a ball. Other countries still have warlords and shit, but my point is this:

IS MGTOW A THING NOW BECAUSE WHITE PEOPLE ARE FINALLY GETTING THE SHORT END OF THE STICK?

There are no more countries to conquer and expand empires. Maybe I am getting way off topic, but now the elites are looking at the United States and are exposing the fight for what it really was the whole time: The Elites vs every one else. It is now that white men happen to be the sacrificial

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👍︎ 37
📰︎ r/MGTOW2
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👤︎ u/notadaddy
📅︎ Aug 26 2019
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More Playlist Info: 2017 vs. 2019 GOT Playlist, Potential Support for Jonerys Leaving Westeros

Following up on my last post about the GOT 2019 playlist containing hints about the ending according to D&D, u/brooklynbby brought to my attention the fact that there was a previous playlist D&D worked on with Spotify in 2017 for S7 with many of the same songs. u/senseofsensing further noted that the 2017 playlist had 34 songs instead of 50, most of which are on the 2019 version (with the exception of Thirty Seconds to Mars' "Conquistador"). u/senseofsensing found the Google cache showing 30 of the 34 songs on the 2017 playlist.

Since unlike for 2017, D&D have said that the 2019 playlist contains hints for the ending, I thought I would compare the two lists to see which songs are from 2017 and which ones are (potentially) new.

So here is the 2019 playlist with the "leftover" songs from 2017 bolded:

  1. Sleep Now in the Fire - Rage Against the Machine
  2. Her Black Wings - Danzig
  3. Immigrant Song (Remaster) - Led Zeppelin
  4. The End (Remaster) - The Doors
  5. Girl From the North Country - Bob Dylan
  6. Mama Kin (Live Version) - Guns n Roses
  7. Seven Nation Army - The White Stripes
  8. Howlin For You - The Black Keys
  9. War - grandson
  10. Let Me Live/Let Me Die - Des Rocs
  11. Flugufrelsarinn - Sigur Ros
  12. Fire - Barns Courtney
  13. Bottom of the Deep Blue Sea - MISSIO
  14. Wave of Mutilation - Pixies
  15. Wolf Life Me - TV On the Radio
  16. POWER - Kanye West
  17. Let's Have a War - Fear
  18. Powa - Tune-Yards
  19. Listen to the Lion - Van Morrison
  20. Cold Cold Cold - Cage the Elephants
  21. No One Knows - Queens of the Stone Age
  22. Wolves of Winter - Biffy Clyro
  23. Go to War - Nothing More
  24. Little Monster - Royal Blood
  25. Burn the Fleet - Thrice
  26. Sister - Prince
  27. Dire Wolf - Grateful Dead
  28. Devil's Spoke - Laura Marling
  29. Queen - Perfume Genius
  30. Cruel - St. Vincent
  31. Crown on the Ground - Sleigh Bells
  32. Mother - The Amazons
  33. Hot Blood - KALEO
  34. War Pigs/Luke's Wall - Black Sabbath
  35. Dead Skin Mask - Slayer
  36. Killer Wolf - Danzig
  37. The Time Is Now - Atreyu
  38. Be My Fire - The Blue Stones
  39. Rise Above - Black Flag
  40. **Alternative Ulster
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👍︎ 36
📰︎ r/freefolk
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📅︎ Apr 09 2019
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MIL and SIL fishing for gossip

This is mostly a vent, I guess. I'm not really sure how to even explain what I'm feeling so it might not make sense. For background, my parents are Sri Lankan Catholics who immigrated to North America before my brothers and I were born. The bombings on Sunday have been very shocking and upsetting for us.

I received messages from my MIL and SIL...and I feel upset about them. I don't want to post them although I can if people feel it's necessary. The message from my SIL was so...I don't even know how to describe it...but I found it overly syrupy and insincere. I showed it to my husband and he barely finished reading it because it was so over the top and cringey. One of the sentences she wrote "even though your world is here, it must feel like an incredible attack on your heritage" especially bothered me and I can't even figure out why. I think maybe it's because she has said a lot of 'casually' racist things to me and this just seemed like another one of those things. Before our wedding she spent a ton of time trying to convince me to wear a sari instead of a wedding dress and the typical south Asian 'dark gold' jewelry because, in her words 'didn't I want to get back to my roots?'. Despite knowing that my connection with my ethnic background is honestly pretty limited. My parents never taught us Sinhalese, etc. The same person who, when I called her mother out on some borderline racist comments in an email, told my husband that I was being unfair to my MIL. The same person whose boyfriend makes racist jokes about Indian people and when I said something to her about it, she brushed it off as 'he's just immature'. The same person who did a couples costume with her best friend where they went as an Aztec and a conquistador. Maybe these all seem irrelevant? I just can't put into words why I felt gross when I read her message. Maybe it's also because she's been super shitty to me and it seems so two faced to pretend to care about me or my family for something like this when you have no regard for me in day to day life.

My MILs email didn't even go to me. We both have her blocked but predicted she'd email, so my husband checked his spam. She sent a link to him about a death in the bombings of a person with the same last name as me, saying she hoped it wasn't any of my family. She then said 'The reason I am sending it to you instead of (thatwhinypeasant) is because I think (thatwhinypeasant) is upset when she receives emails/texts from me.' Ignoring the fact t

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👍︎ 42
📰︎ r/JustNoTalk
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 24 2019
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Barbarians - Chapter 11

First I Previous I Next


>Ain't found a way to kill me yet
>Eyes burn with stinging sweat
>Seems every path leads me to nowhere
>Wife and kids household pet
>Army green was no safe bet
>The bullets scream to me from somewhere

Alice in Chains - “Rooster”


Prior to the deployment of Task Force Odysseus, Commodore Fuentes was handed a set of sealed orders directly from Marshal Antuma himself. No electronic copies existed in any database, and once she’d read them after getting underway they were immediately incinerated. The orders were simple enough...deliver a package to Uzaunx before going dark, and forget she’d ever seen it. The orders didn’t explain why she’d been given these instructions, but it didn’t take a genius to put two and two together.

Which is why she had quietly reprogrammed one of the message drones to head for the planet surface, in case the worst happened.


Their shelter smelled terrible.

It reeked the day they’d arrived, and after two weeks packed in like sardines the aroma hadn’t improved one bit. You’d think a society as advanced as the Triumvirate would find a way to make their waste dumps a bit less fragrant, but it seemed some things were truly universal. Not that they were complaining, as the smell kept casual visitors from investigating their location too closely. They had good line-of-sight views in four directions, and just enough elevation to tap into the odd electronic transmission. From an operational standpoint, it was absolutely perfect.

Though Musashi was getting tired of stuffing cotton up his nose.

He slowly glanced around their improvised hide at the rest of the team. Tango was draped around her rifle as if she was cradling a lover, as still as the mist. Her glacier-blue eyes scanned the horizon through her scope, her only movement the occasional murmur as she recorded newly observed data. She was attractive, in a rough hewn way, her blonde braid dangling casually over her shoulder...and as deadly as a cobra out to three thousand meters.

Graybird’s fingers delicately manipulated the controls of his console, searching out the random snippets of data floating in the aether. He had the deft touch of a safecracker, the talents of a hacker, and the soul of an artist, piecing together what appeared to be unrelated scr

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👍︎ 883
📰︎ r/HFY
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📅︎ Jun 25 2018
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What do you think of the black legend that exists on the internet?

I don't know if this is widespread in the Portuguese speaking side of the internet, but on the Spanish side, especially the parts from Spain, there exist something called la leyenda negra. It has its historical roots, but in modern times whenever someone says something that paints Spain in a negative light, then there is a sphere on the internet that's ready to denounce it as the black legend to make Spain look bad. It can be modern criticism or it can be historical such as Spanish treatment of native and non-Spanish populations in the colonies.

I occasionally hear the term used in person, but it wasn't until I was listening to the Spanish public radio the other day that I began to think about it more. They were interviewing a Spanish historian who, in the same sentence, said it is a concentrated political attack on Spain and also that the Spanish empire is only matched by the Roman empire. Yesterday, I happened to be looking at a video on youtube about history book recommendation from a Spanish youtuber. He said that he didn't like part of a book because it perpetuated the black legend. When he zoomed into the text, it referred to the destruction of native cultures in the Americas by the conquistadors as a sad episode in history.

So I'm wondering how this sub-reddit perceives it? To me, it comes across as being reluctant to recognize the bad parts of the countries colonial past.

👍︎ 16
💬︎
👤︎ u/Matrim_WoT
📅︎ Nov 24 2018
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What the next Eu4 patch notes might look like if Paradox were a Markov Chain generator.

Inspired by similar posts for other games, like this one.

I took all Eu4 patch notes from the wiki and fed them into this Markov Chain generator. I removed the most nonsensical output, split up some overly long sentences and occasionally made some minor grammar corrections, but overall this the result of a computer algorithm. Then I sorted it all into categories like in actual patch notes. Enjoy!

Misc changes

You can no longer target province with FoW due to army being applied to a province.

Implemented a new system for Disaster.

Restart sounds we try to play as a lucky nation.

Westernisation threshold is now 8 levels for cultures.

Can no longer get +200% stability costs, but instead got -10% Culture Conversion Cost & -5 years on nationalist rebels much less legitimacy.

Conquer Mocca will no longer crash the Tiger, is now +20% Siege Ability.

Extended the dynamic tricolors for revolution Target now gets reset on resign.

You now lose 10 prestige cost.

You can now happen again for at least 6 provinces or ships.

Not possible to create Mikhail Romanov.

Reduced the overall number of setting negative stability.

You no longer crash the clients who could not be properly removed when they no longer list autonomy in the rebels home provinces in a fort's ZoC.

Triggered only CBs can now properly align and have an inland sea.

You can no longer change capital-message now displays income primary tag for bedouin_arabic culture.

Can now return back to that faction.

A fleet on a province trade goods price now shows when viewing an unsubscribed mod.

Steam workshop will not overwrite your countries showing up, as peace deals is now considered papal grants, e.g. causing cores to instantly mothball and unmothball forts (this could cause game to save every 5 years, 10 years, etc).

Countries with very slow tech speeds now spend more money on armies attached to units who were clearly superior forces.

Truce end date now displays the cost of developing provinces regardless of.

Cancel building view will no longer increase mercenary maintenance.

Removing extra effects tooltip will no longer try to assign seats to non-state province.

When you migrate as a native tribe, the province you migrate as a native tribe, the province the war is declared for, if valid.

Fixed wrong use of the highest AE from that action

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👍︎ 317
📰︎ r/eu4
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👤︎ u/MChainsaw
📅︎ Feb 02 2018
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Holidays Are Serious In My Reality, and I Need You for Easter.

I come from a world parallel to yours, where holidays are a sacred part of our culture and we celebrate them in ways you'd consider strange or twisted. The word "holiday" came from "holy day," didn't it? So we love to treat them like they're the holiest and most hallowed things to exist in human civilization. Because of that, it's quite lovely where I come from.

On Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, our society has a designated play time where little white children and little black children can have fun together. On Thanksgiving, we organize turkey hunts, people of Native American heritage gathering around tables to share the caught turkey with anyone of English descent. During Hanukkah, each town keeps an oil lamp lit for eight days straight, and it's a pleasure every year to sit around your town's lantern and chat about life. On February 2nd, Punxsutawney Phil the groundhog really does determine what days are part of spring on our calendar. And on Labor Day, everyone does community service so they can get a taste of how the upstanding workers of their community work every day of the week to keep society's wheels turning.

But every coin has two sides, and my culture's obsession with holidays has a rusted, darker side with no sheen on its copper. When beautiful autumn arrives and the harvest season ends, red, orange, and yellow leaves decorating the landscape with awe, we slit the throats of our livestock and burn them in honor of the Celtic gods. Halloween is what it's called, and like fall shows the darkest season of the year is coming, Halloween tells us the most brutal holidays will arrive in mere months.

On Christmas Eve, the Santa Patrol--which is our government's military force responsible for handling the event of Christmas--marches from door to door dressed in Santa and elf costumes. And in the spirit of Christianity's punishment system, they reward the nice children with presents and drag away the naughty children to burn and scream in the Government Christmas Camps. With the Santa Patrol pressuring the misbehaving kids to be nice under the threat of live burning, we have no juvenile delinquents in our society. I know so first hand! My niece was a bad influence on my nephew, but after the Santa Patrol took her away like Krampus did to bratty children in Hungarian mythology, my nephew stayed nice and wholesome. So Christmas and the roasting of the bad children work out as beneficial for civilization at the end of the day, for the splendid result just

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👍︎ 192
📰︎ r/nosleep
💬︎
📅︎ Aug 25 2018
🚨︎ report
[OC] The Truth of Human Magick (Sequel to 'Our Lack Thereof')

#The Truth of Human Magick “[Our lack thereof](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/5yd0ps/our_lack_thereof/ “The Background).” Never before has an answer to a question caused our philosophers such trouble. What does the Human Grand Magister mean by that? Their lack of what? Some suggest the ‘lack’ they refer to is magic, but that statement is obviously false^([1]). Human magic is undeniably real, for the power courses through their capillaries like the plasmic liquid of suns. Their methods seem odd, but they are undeniably effective. What could that phrase refer to, in that case? As the only other subject in the sentence, it seems the phrase must refer to the ‘secret’; the truth of how Humans create their wonderful spirit runes^[2] or their great structural magicks^([3]). The secret of Human magick, that strange use of the power we all know, is indeed the lack of any sort of secret.

Firstly, their weaponry. While the first encounter of the Pckckt Conquistadors with the Terrans was terrifying for the (short-lived) aggressors, later inspection of memories and transcriptions showed how mundane the missile truly was. Despite talk of alchemical solutions^[4] and vengeful spirits^([5]), the truth appears much simpler. A single charged, unstable, draining crystal, secured by complex runes that use its own power. Encased inside a fragile shell, made to crumple under pressure. The missile hits, the backlash makes it explode. A simple design already long-patented^([6]), launched with a powerful catapult, their protective outer layer designed to burn from friction. Their Φ-Rifles are even simpler, using runokinetic forces to launch tiny pebbles. The use of these weapons, however, shows both a predilection for senseless violence typical only of some top carnivores^([7]), and their tendency to use inordinate amounts of magical power. This correlates with the theory that their planet was home to giant formations of draining crystals before their Age of Construction^([8]).

Secondly, their aforementioned spirit runes are also an ironic example of their averageness. Many writs have been published, waxing lyrical about the famous Terran spirit runes^([9][10][11][12]), yet none of them have a satisfactory explanation for how they function. The truth, however, seems so obvious it shames our civilization that none have come to the proper conclusion so far. The existence of untethered spirits has been a topic of contention for centuries^([13]), yet the evidence is there^([1

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👍︎ 135
📰︎ r/HFY
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 01 2017
🚨︎ report
Je'Mapelle Assasin! - Or how I killed their General with a bottle.

Hey all, this is the story of an Australian who went to the opposite side of the world to French Canada, to dress up as a dwarf and kill a general with a LARP safe wine bottle.


So this year I went to Biccoline's Grand Bataille. For those unfamiliar with it, Biccoline is a massive fantasy combat LARP held at its own 140 hectare venue, with an annual, week-long event, which ends in a final, 2 hour long battle known as the Grand Bataille.

In this LARP, if a character dies in a battle they go to their designated respawn point and then come back out to fight. (Different scenarios limit how many times you can die or that you come back only when enough have died.) You die when you are hit once in the Head (anywhere except the face) or Chest.

The Grand Bataille this year numbered at just over 2000 players if I remember correctly. Each side had 2 generals which were voted on by members of the various houses and guilds within Biccoline during the week leading up to the main fight. These allegiances eventually decided who was fighting on which side, and ended with a split of roughly 900 vs 1100. I was a part of one of the largest (if not THE largest) guild there, known as the Ordo Cervi, and we ended up with one of our own being declared as one of the generals of the 900 strong. One of the reasons that I like to think we had so many allies in the final battle was due to our logistics crew, who would fill a cart with water just to bring to the battlefield and give to soldiers, both friend and foe.

Skip to the main battle, both sides marching to their respective starting locations. I decide to organise with our skirmishing leader that I would try and kill the enemy general using one ofthe LARP safe, coreless bottles from our tavern. I was given the go ahead, so I promptly took off all my armour, tabard and weapons. I picked up my bag, put a water bottle in it, grabbed a mug of water, and grabbed my fake bottle.

My plan went something like this:

  1. Pretend to be friendly.
  2. Find their General.
  3. Kill him and kill as many people as possible before I die/get found out.

I headed off into the enemy lines, under the pretense of being a noncombatant, and proceeded to give water to those who needed it. Now, the issues with being an Australian in French Canada may be obvious to some. The most notable of cours

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👍︎ 17
📰︎ r/LARP
💬︎
👤︎ u/Protopon
📅︎ Oct 26 2016
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How is "cabe" translated in this sentence?

Cabe mencionar que los conquistadores romanos trajeron consigo el sermo vulgaris, o latin noble.

What is cabe in this sentence? Is it a form of caber?

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📰︎ r/Spanish
💬︎
📅︎ Mar 16 2017
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George Steiner on Lawrence Durrell, baroque prose, and the impoverishment of English

George Steiner, in my view, is one of the greatest literary minds ever (and is so much greater than that as well), standing alongside Rene Girard, Harold Bloom, Cynthia Ozick, Henry James, and Virginia Woolf as one of the literary luminaries of all time. He's an incredible stylist, a polymath of high wisdom, and a learned example of a dying breed, the old-fashioned, old-world intellectual.

One of my favorite passages of his writing comes from a collection of essays on the baroque novelist Lawrence Durrell:

>But this does not mean that this jeweled and coruscated style springs full-armed from Durrell’s personal gift. He stands in a great tradition of baroque prose. In the seventeenth century, Sir Thomas Browne built sentences into lofty arches and made words ring like sonorous bells. Robert Burton, in his Anatomy of Melancholy, used the same principal device as Durrell: richness through accumulation, the marshaling of nouns and epithets into great catalogues among which the eye roves in antiquarian delight. The feverish, clarion-sounding prose of De Quincey is a direct ancestor to that of Justine. And more recently, there is the example of Conrad. In the later parts of Lord Jim and throughout The Rescue, Conrad uses words with the sumptuous exuberance of a jeweler showing off his rarest stones. Here also, language falls upon the reader’s senses like brocade. > >This baroque ideal of narrative style is, at present, in disfavor. The modern ear has been trained to the harsh, impoverished cadence and vocabulary of Hemingway. Reacting against the excesses of Victorian manner, the modern writer has made a cult of simplicity. He refines common speech but preserves its essential drabness. When comparing a page from the Alexandria novels to the practice of Hemingway or C. P. Snow or Graham Greene, one is setting a gold-spun and jeweled Byzantine mosaic next to a black-and-white photograph. One cannot judge the one by the other. But that does not signify that Durrell is a decadent show-off or that his conception of English prose is erroneous. We may be grateful that Hemingway and his innumerable imitators have made the language colder and more astringent and that they have brought back into fiction the virtue of plain force. But they have done so at a price. Contemporary English usage is incredibly thin and unimaginative. The style of politics and factual communication verges on the illiterate. Having far fewer words at our reach than had the educated man

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👍︎ 14
📰︎ r/literature
💬︎
📅︎ Nov 27 2015
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CMV: The Cross of Coronado does not belong in a museum.

Please leave the footnote below the following line, but remember to delete this sentence by replacing it with the body of your post. Thank you!


While the relic is interesting it has little historical significance. Coronado himself is a rather minor Conquistador and explorer of the New World. It rightfully belongs to the men who found it and it is their right to do with it whatever they choose.

Shortly after recovering the Cross, Dr. Jones meets with Walter Donovan. He thanks Mr. Donovan for his contributions to the museum and is impressed with his personal collection. So we know Dr. Jones doesn't feel every historical artifact belongs in a museum for public viewing. Indiana Jones' obsession with the Cross of Coronado is misguided, and it does not belong in a museum. CMV.

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💬︎
📅︎ Jun 09 2014
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Best Names of ML16 Awards: 2019

You may remember the previous event, which occurred like 2 years ago; welp, it's back! These names have to be Madden-made players only, not real-life guys. Let's get started!

Buffalo Bills: Dixon Hunter

I really hope Hunter gave consent first.

Miami Dolphins: Kamal Barr

Not anything super crazy, but Miami was lacking in the goofy name department

New England Patriots: Sexton Spears

When I was about 12 I would have given a nut or two to be sextin' Spears

Cincinnati Bengals: Devaliera Gilbert

This Bengal LOLB has a first name a Latina drag queen would kill for. His finesse moves should be in the mid 90's.

Cleveland Browns: Andrew Hunter

"What? That's the most normal, generic name I've ever heard!", you exclaim. HOLD UP, ASSHOLE: THE BROWNS HAVE TWO OF THESE DUDES ON THEIR TEAM.

Honorable mention goes to Casey Cross and Zachery Payne, the MLB duo for the Browns who moonlight as members of an emo Christian band (YES THAT'S APPARENTLY A THING).

Cleveland is also home to Margarito Stokes, your eccentric manservant who tends the bar and lights candles shirtless while delighting your house guests.

Pittsburgh Steelers: O.C. Priester

Yeah yeah, I know, the Steelers have a guy named Sexton Dickson on their roster. Sex Dick is great and all, but does he sound like a soul legend from the late 60's R&B boom and/or a Bible-carrying vigilante straight out of a comic book hellbent on removing the villainous scourge from the beaches of Orange County? No. No he does not.

Jacksonville Jaguars: Patric Gaitor

This is the first thing that came into my head, and I am so glad I was able to find what I was visualizing with a few keystrokes. What a time we live in.

Chicago Blues: Chytee Cox

The man himself. All of the ladies from Rockford to Northwest Indiana would love to be sipping on some of that Chai Tea.

Denver Broncos: Shamell Walls

Word around the locker room is that after every game, it's hard not to shamell Walls' balls.

**Los Angeles Raide

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👍︎ 5
📰︎ r/ML16
💬︎
👤︎ u/nbomb220
📅︎ May 15 2016
🚨︎ report
Hypocrisy, The New York Times Version - Trashing Nicaragua's success - by John Grant (x-post /r/Leftwinger)

The New York Times is the best old-style, broad-sheet newspaper in America; it still covers the world with resourceful and enterprising reporters and commentators. But, then, there’s the other New York Times, the imperial rag that prints editorials like the one on August 5 titled “ ‘Dynasty,’ the Nicaraguan Version.” It’s not that Nicaraguan President Daniel Ortega is a saint or even a model democrat; it’s that the editorial department and the writer who penned this sloppy embarrassment are still playing a version of the Reagan Cold War game of the 1980s. Those days are over; one hopes for something a bit more worldly.

After listing a number of negatives -- the popular President Ortega has appointed judges favorable to his rule and has been able to assure a legislature filled with his allies -- the editorial tells us how well the Nicaraguan economy is doing, how well the Ortega administration works with investors and international business and how safe the place is compared to its three closest neighbors. This safety is, we’re told, due to a sinister “vast police force.” Reading this, one might forget here in the US we have our own “vast” police and criminal justice problems.

Let’s consider for a moment the interesting fact that Nicaragua is notably “safer” than Honduras, El Salvador and Guatemala. First off, during the 1980s under President Ronald Reagan the United States of America directly supported, and in some cases actually directed, cruel and bloody wars against armed guerrillas (and the poor in whose name they fought) in these three small, poor nations. It was the Cold War, so these wars were couched in East-West (communist-capitalist) terms, when they arguably were more accurately described as North-South struggles: ie. they were about powerlessness versus power, poverty versus wealth.

In the case of Nicaragua, the US Contra War was a proxy war against a sovereign nation. In 1979, the Sandinista rebels had overthrown a dictatorship run by Anastasio Somoza, junior, whose father Anastasio, senior, had been a US ally. Franklin Roosevelt famously said of Somoza, senior, “Somoza’s a son-of-a-bitch, but he’s our son-of-a-bitch.” In 1956, the father was shot dead eating dinner in a Leon restaurant by a patriotic poet working as a busboy. (Many Nicaraguans aspire to be poets.) Anastasio, junior, took over the family business and ruled as a US ally until 1979, when he fled to Paraguay, where in 1980 his Mercedes was blown apart by an RPG as the climax o

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👍︎ 2
📰︎ r/altnewz
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📅︎ Aug 22 2016
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The testimony of the thing in the castle

We had been talking to evil itself.

 

'We are here to speak to Frank Webster' , Lianne had challenged the black wall at the back of the castle hidden inside that strange warehouse in Australia.

 

'Ksssss..….Frankk webbbbsterrrr', reflected the unseen beast…'Yesssssss… I remember that name….. You are too late for the victorious killing and lynching you sssssseeeeekkkk, however, in true justice, you are just in time to END the foulness that devoured whatever wwwwuuuunnnNnsssssssss held that label.'

 

'WHAT ARE YOU??? ANSWER DEMON!!!' Yelled Karnak in response… and we listened with disgusted awe at every foul and reptilian syllable that fell out of that inhuman mouth.

 

'Oncce was I …. a young naivveee man, who bore that name. Many aeons ago in some dimension parallel to thissssskkk, I lived here in this very city. Although you won't find my name on the censussss, or written in that book… of life, I suspect.'

 

Something paralysed us. Our ears seemed to tune into the frequency of the god of snakes and spiders. The hairs inside our ears stood on end, with fear, feeling like our ear drums were themselves foul, spiders nests.

 

'Timessssk were hard, and ssssssurvival was the only morality I knew, and ssso it was… I engaged in some criminal activity in this dark city to fund my creative endeavours, which you mortals know of merely the surface onion layer, (the merciful facade it presents to those it doesn't despissssse.)

 

'Kssssssmmmy artistic ambitions were quite simple, if vain and unheroic. To create a s…ssss….satirical magazine to rival those giants of the past…. Onnne which struck terror in those who clung to their religioussss delusions, and cut through the bullsssshhhit which is now the only currency of the modern corporate world, and decaying institutions of this country and planet… this planet which held so much promise of vitality and integgggrity. Ksssccccccssss….

 

'hhhhiiiiiIn nothingkkkk more than jest, I and my friend Leonard had begun that venture 'False Prophet magazine' with a simple classified ad addressed to the public. 'Idle hands wanted', our sssssimple plea to the Australian public.'

 

Karnak, LIanne and I, felt loathing from every syllable that came, we wanted to silence it's poisoned words and destroy it. But only by supernatural design I swear to you we stood spell bound and cursed to listen to it's entire vile testimony.

 

'Ts

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👍︎ 2
📰︎ r/sffstories
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 15 2015
🚨︎ report
[EVENT] Portuguese trials and treaty

Here are the results of the Portuguese trials:

  • 20 will be put to death for the murder of the former leader of Portugal.

  • 80 will be sentenced to life in prison for treason.

  • 100 will be sentenced to 20 years in prison.

  • 100 will be sentenced to 15 years in prison.


With the trials over Spain will regrant sovereignty on these terms:

  • Portugal will send 10% of its exports to Spain for 5 years.

  • Portugal will give Spain 50 shipyards and 25 docks.

  • Spain agrees to give Portugal full military protection.

  • Spain agrees to keep borders with Portugal permanently open

  • Portugal reserves the right to join and leave the Spanish Empire with representation in Spain's Federal government.

Signed,

Conquistador /u/gamesmaster500

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💬︎
📅︎ May 11 2014
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I was told that gays aren't treated like second class citizens and there has never been hate crimes against them amongst other things. Reddit, I am disappoint.

Ok, so some background information. I am a heterosexual female of black descent who is very big advocate for pro-gay rights and I am currently in the Navy waiting to get shipped off.

----------------------------------

My brother and I were watching the news and there was a pro-gay group protesting in front of a Chick-fil-A. They were doing their regular protesty thing. People holding up signs, same sex couples kissing and hugging, and there were even small children of same sex couples doing their thing. My dad and his idiotic girlfriend who I absolutely loathe (there has been many problems in the past with her. Plus, she's a total bitch) walk into the livingroom and start making disgusted noises and my dad even told my brother, "IF I EVER SEE YOU DOING THAT..." and ending with, "I hope I don't have to finish that sentence!" Although, he did say it jokingly. Dad's girlfriend (let's call this reincarnation of Hitler, Satan... Because that's what my brother and I call her) starts throwing in rude comments about how they have no right to protest anything but saying that bigoted Christians have the right if they wanted to. I spoke up and told her that the problem is that all of these so call "Christians" would make a pilgrimage BY CAR to a FAST FOOD RESTAURANT to buy a chicken sandwich and nasty ass fries but didn't want to use the same amount of effort to go volunteer at a soup kitchen or volunteer period.

Satan still stood by her "gays have no right to protest" claim and even had the gall to add that they also had no reason to protest as Chick-fil-A still serves and employs "the gays". I retorted that 60-70 years ago, whites served and employed blacks but still treated them like second class citizens and treated them with hate and disrespect. It's the same thing with the same kind if hate. That's when my dad chimed in with Satan's shitty views and said that what happened to African Americans was wrong and disgusting and how it should NEVER be compared to each other because it's "completely" different. After my dad said that, Satan said, "I hate how people try to use how African Americans were treated and how gays are treated and act like it's the same. Blacks went through slavery. No one else has ever went through what blacks went through!! You don't see people killing gays because they're gay!"

I swear, Reddit. If you could have seen the face I gave her. Blacks are the only people who has been wronged throughout history? Yes, they have been wr

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👍︎ 2
📰︎ r/self
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📅︎ Aug 04 2012
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This Aint No Cube This is The Platform

The Cube was cute, The Cube was fun, The Cube was a little puzzle to play with. The Platform is not a game, not unless you like very bloody, bloody games. The Platform is a metaphor in the tradition of Animal Farm or Lord of The Flies. The Platform very clearly focuses on capitalist ideology and has a secondary biblical theme as well. To be fair The Cube did what it set out to do. It was a science fiction, thriller with an interesting premise, some tense scenes and some amount of political commentary. The Platform sets its goals higher.

The premise of The Platform is that people are sentenced to prison terms in an immensely tall tower with cement rooms piled one on top of the other. Down the center of the building is a shaft. Every day a large platform makes its way down the shaft. On the platform is a sumptuous feast of the finest delicacies prepared with the highest standards. The platform descends layer by layer through the rooms and each prisoner can take as much as they want. If the first 50 rooms are greedy they leave nothing for the many more below them.

The Platform depicts a highly artificial environment full of shocking absurdity that we quickly come to recognize as not that distant from our own environment. The film distills and exaggerates in order to resonate with and then amplify currents and forces in our social and political reality. It is essential that it be both foreign and grotesque but at the same time familiar.

We are presented with a cross section of society that may or may not deserve to be in prison. The longer an individual has been in the prison the more deranged and depraved they become. Regardless of their backgrounds they are equalized by desperation.

The Platform was made in Spain and directed by Galder Gaztelu-Urrutia in 2019. The challenge with the film is to create something rich out of very limited elements. The Platform has only one location and a limited number of actors. It is limited by its own design. On one hand the paired down presentation makes its points more forcefully. The more bloody and horrific the film gets the more it exposes the violence hidden away from middle and upperclass society. On the other hand the stark nature of the film limits its ability to deal with nuance.

There were definitely aspects that recalled Bunuel films. The isolation of The Exterminating Angel in which the rich party guests cannot leave after indulging in a decadent feast. Similarly, *The Discr

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👍︎ 23
📰︎ r/TrueFilm
💬︎
👤︎ u/Boop108
📅︎ Mar 23 2020
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Totally not the expiration date script

[The screen fades in to a shot of desert road, similar to Meet the Sniper. Light flute music plays with a soft drum accompaniment. A slow downwards pan to a crushed Bonk! can is punctured by a brass flourish. Suddenly, a Red Bread truck screeches into view from the right, knocking away the can and fishtails, nearly ripping off its rear bumper. It continues down the left lane.] [Cut to a right side view of the van. The camera pans from the rear towards the front while a heavy drum beat plays. The logo is pock-marked with bullet holes and the white paint has been scraped off the sides. The camera continues panning and steadies at the van's open air cab, revealing a sleeping Scout and the Heavy hunched over at the wheel.] [Interior shot of the cab. The windshield has bullet holes on the left and is completely knocked out on the right. The Heavy's bulk is apparent on the left as compared to the Scout's relaxed pose with his feet on the dashboard. Fuzzy dice adorn the rear view mirror. The Heavy continues to drive the van on the right side of the road when the dashboard monitor begins to softly beep.] [Cut to a side view of the right-hand side of the cab. The Heavy looks disapprovingly at the sleeping Scout. He returns his eyes to the road. The dashboard beeps again and the Heavy hits the Scout without taking his glance off of the road. Shaken, the Scout jerks awake.] Scout: Gwaa! Bwaa! What?! What? Oh. [The Scout reaches over and with his right hand, pushes a button on the monitor. It is a video call from Miss Pauling.] Miss Pauling: Scout, it's Pauling. Tell me you got the briefcase. Scout: Yeah sure. Miss Pauling: And nobody saw you? Scout: Ehhh. [He raises his hands and shrugs his shoulders] Basically nobody. Miss Pauling: [Her expression darkens] Scout, I'm here right now. Scout: Well that's a funny story... [The cab's rear door abruptly opens and the Soldier steps out, and with his right hand, hastily pushes Scout's face into his seat. The Scout throws up his hands, the Heavy is startled and momentarily loses control of the van, and the Soldier takes over the monitor.] Soldier: [brightly] Hello, Miss Pauling! We killed everyone and took a briefcase! [He brandishes a BLU briefcase ] Miss Pauling: Not everybody, Soldier. You left seven witnesses, guys. [A bloodied hand can be seen in the background reaching for help. Miss Pauling turns and shoots him with a silenced pistol. The hand collapses.] Miss Pauling: [matter-of-factly] Six. [The camera cuts to a rea

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👍︎ 30
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 15 2019
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ARRRGGGHHH WE CANNOT TELEPORT BREAD ANYMORE!

[hide] Transcript [The screen fades in to a shot of desert road, similar to Meet the Sniper. Light flute music plays with a soft drum accompaniment. A slow downwards pan to a crushed Bonk! can is punctured by a brass flourish. Suddenly, a Red Bread truck screeches into view from the right, knocking away the can and fishtails, nearly ripping off its rear bumper. It continues down the left lane.] [Cut to a right side view of the van. The camera pans from the rear towards the front while a heavy drum beat plays. The logo is pock-marked with bullet holes and the white paint has been scraped off the sides. The camera continues panning and steadies at the van's open air cab, revealing a sleeping Scout and the Heavy hunched over at the wheel.] [Interior shot of the cab. The windshield has bullet holes on the left and is completely knocked out on the right. The Heavy's bulk is apparent on the left as compared to the Scout's relaxed pose with his feet on the dashboard. Fuzzy dice adorn the rear view mirror. The Heavy continues to drive the van on the right side of the road when the dashboard monitor begins to softly beep.] [Cut to a side view of the right-hand side of the cab. The Heavy looks disapprovingly at the sleeping Scout. He returns his eyes to the road. The dashboard beeps again and the Heavy hits the Scout without taking his glance off of the road. Shaken, the Scout jerks awake.] Scout: Gwaa! Bwaa! What?! What? Oh. [The Scout reaches over and with his right hand, pushes a button on the monitor. It is a video call from Miss Pauling.] Miss Pauling: Scout, it's Pauling. Tell me you got the briefcase. Scout: Yeah sure. Miss Pauling: And nobody saw you? Scout: Ehhh. [He raises his hands and shrugs his shoulders] Basically nobody. Miss Pauling: [Her expression darkens] Scout, I'm here right now. Scout: Well that's a funny story... [The cab's rear door abruptly opens and the Soldier steps out, and with his right hand, hastily pushes Scout's face into his seat. The Scout throws up his hands, the Heavy is startled and momentarily loses control of the van, and the Soldier takes over the monitor.] Soldier: [brightly] Hello, Miss Pauling! We killed everyone and took a briefcase! [He brandishes a BLU briefcase ] Miss Pauling: Not everybody, Soldier. You left seven witnesses, guys. [A bloodied hand can be seen in the background reaching for help. Miss Pauling turns and shoots him with a silenced pistol. The hand collapses.] Miss Pauling: [matter-of-factly] Six. [The ca

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👍︎ 67
📰︎ r/tf2
💬︎
📅︎ Nov 14 2017
🚨︎ report
I have done nothing but teleport bread for 3 days.

[hide] Transcript [The screen fades in to a shot of desert road, similar to Meet the Sniper. Light flute music plays with a soft drum accompaniment. A slow downwards pan to a crushed Bonk! can is punctured by a brass flourish. Suddenly, a Red Bread truck screeches into view from the right, knocking away the can and fishtails, nearly ripping off its rear bumper. It continues down the left lane.] [Cut to a right side view of the van. The camera pans from the rear towards the front while a heavy drum beat plays. The logo is pock-marked with bullet holes and the white paint has been scraped off the sides. The camera continues panning and steadies at the van's open air cab, revealing a sleeping Scout and the Heavy hunched over at the wheel.] [Interior shot of the cab. The windshield has bullet holes on the left and is completely knocked out on the right. The Heavy's bulk is apparent on the left as compared to the Scout's relaxed pose with his feet on the dashboard. Fuzzy dice adorn the rear view mirror. The Heavy continues to drive the van on the right side of the road when the dashboard monitor begins to softly beep.] [Cut to a side view of the right-hand side of the cab. The Heavy looks disapprovingly at the sleeping Scout. He returns his eyes to the road. The dashboard beeps again and the Heavy hits the Scout without taking his glance off of the road. Shaken, the Scout jerks awake.] Scout: Gwaa! Bwaa! What?! What? Oh. [The Scout reaches over and with his right hand, pushes a button on the monitor. It is a video call from Miss Pauling.] Miss Pauling: Scout, it's Pauling. Tell me you got the briefcase. Scout: Yeah sure. Miss Pauling: And nobody saw you? Scout: Ehhh. [He raises his hands and shrugs his shoulders] Basically nobody. Miss Pauling: [Her expression darkens] Scout, I'm here right now. Scout: Well that's a funny story... [The cab's rear door abruptly opens and the Soldier steps out, and with his right hand, hastily pushes Scout's face into his seat. The Scout throws up his hands, the Heavy is startled and momentarily loses control of the van, and the Soldier takes over the monitor.] Soldier: [brightly] Hello, Miss Pauling! We killed everyone and took a briefcase! [He brandishes a BLU briefcase ] Miss Pauling: Not everybody, Soldier. You left seven witnesses, guys. [A bloodied hand can be seen in the background reaching for help. Miss Pauling turns and shoots him with a silenced pistol. The hand collapses.] Miss Pauling: [matter-of-factly] Six. [The ca

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👍︎ 4
📰︎ r/copypasta
💬︎
📅︎ Oct 17 2018
🚨︎ report
I am a goober.

To keep the hype up :)

Transcript [The screen fades in to a shot of desert road, similar to Meet the Sniper. Light flute music plays with a soft drum accompaniment. A slow downwards pan to a crushed Bonk! can is punctured by a brass flourish. Suddenly, a Red Bread truck screeches into view from the right, knocking away the can and fishtails, nearly ripping off its rear bumper. It continues down the left lane.] [Cut to a right side view of the van. The camera pans from the rear towards the front while a heavy drum beat plays. The logo is pock-marked with bullet holes and the white paint has been scraped off the sides. The camera continues panning and steadies at the van's open air cab, revealing a sleeping Scout and the Heavy hunched over at the wheel.]

[Interior shot of the cab. The windshield has bullet holes on the left and is completely knocked out on the right. The Heavy's bulk is apparent on the left as compared to the Scout's relaxed pose with his feet on the dashboard. Fuzzy dice adorn the rear view mirror. The Heavy continues to drive the van on the right side of the road when the dashboard monitor begins to softly beep.]

[Cut to a side view of the right-hand side of the cab. The Heavy looks disapprovingly at the sleeping Scout. He returns his eyes to the road. The dashboard beeps again and the Heavy hits the Scout without taking his glance off of the road. Shaken, the Scout jerks awake.]

Scout: Gwaa! Bwaa! What?! What? Oh.

[The Scout reaches over and with his right hand, pushes a button on the monitor. It is a video call from Miss Pauling.]

Miss Pauling: Scout, it's Pauling. Tell me you got the briefcase.

Scout: Yeah sure.

Miss Pauling: And nobody saw you?

Scout: Ehhh. [He raises his hands and shrugs his shoulders] Basically nobody.

Miss Pauling: [Her expression darkens] Scout, I'm here right now.

Scout: Well that's a funny story...

[The cab's rear door abruptly opens and the Soldier steps out, and with his right hand, hastily pushes Scout's face into his seat. The Scout throws up his hands, the Heavy is startled and momentarily loses control of the van, and the Soldier takes over the monitor.]

Soldier: [brightly] Hello, Miss Pauling! We killed everyone and took a briefcase!

[He brandishes a BLU briefcase ]

Miss Pauling: Not everybody, Soldier. You left seven witnesses, guys.

[A bloodied hand can be seen in the background reaching for help. Miss Pauling turns and shoots him with a silenced pistol. The hand collapses.]

Miss Pauling

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👍︎ 20
📰︎ r/tf2
💬︎
👤︎ u/MIlkyRawr
📅︎ Sep 08 2017
🚨︎ report
Tf2 movie

Video Transcript

[The screen fades in to a shot of desert road, similar to Meet the Sniper. Light flute music plays with a soft drum accompaniment. A slow downwards pan to a crushed Bonk! can is punctured by a brass flourish. Suddenly, a Red Bread truck screeches into view from the right, knocking away the can and fishtails, nearly ripping off its rear bumper. It continues down the left lane.] [Cut to a right side view of the van. The camera pans from the rear towards the front while a heavy drum beat plays. The logo is pock-marked with bullet holes and the white paint has been scraped off the sides. The camera continues panning and steadies at the van's open air cab, revealing a sleeping Scout and the Heavy hunched over at the wheel.]

[Interior shot of the cab. The windshield has bullet holes on the left and is completely knocked out on the right. The Heavy's bulk is apparent on the left as compared to the Scout's relaxed pose with his feet on the dashboard. Fuzzy dice adorn the rear view mirror. The Heavy continues to drive the van on the right side of the road when the dashboard monitor begins to softly beep.]

[Cut to a side view of the right-hand side of the cab. The Heavy looks disapprovingly at the sleeping Scout. He returns his eyes to the road. The dashboard beeps again and the Heavy hits the Scout without taking his glance off of the road. Shaken, the Scout jerks awake.]

Scout: Gwaa! Bwaa! What?! What? Oh.

[The Scout reaches over and with his right hand, pushes a button on the monitor. It is a video call from Miss Pauling.]

Miss Pauling: Scout, it's Pauling. Tell me you got the briefcase.

Scout: Yeah sure.

Miss Pauling: And nobody saw you?

Scout: Ehhh. [He raises his hands and shrugs his shoulders] Basically nobody.

Miss Pauling: [Her expression darkens] Scout, I'm here right now.

Scout: Well that's a funny story...

[The cab's rear door abruptly opens and the Soldier steps out, and with his right hand, hastily pushes Scout's face into his seat. The Scout throws up his hands, the Heavy is startled and momentarily loses control of the van, and the Soldier takes over the monitor.]

Soldier: [brightly] Hello, Miss Pauling! We killed everyone and took a briefcase!

[He brandishes a BLU briefcase ]

Miss Pauling: Not everybody, Soldier. You left seven witnesses, guys.

[A bloodied hand can be seen in the background reaching for help. Miss Pauling turns and shoots him with a silenced pistol. The hand collapses.]

Miss Pauling: [matter-of-fac

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👍︎ 2
📰︎ r/tf2
💬︎
👤︎ u/DesHis
📅︎ Jun 16 2018
🚨︎ report
"People From My Reality Take Holidays Too Seriously."

I come from a world parallel to yours, where holidays are a sacred part of our culture and we celebrate them in ways you'd consider strange or twisted. The word "holiday" came from "holy day," didn't it? So we love to treat them like they're the holiest and most hallowed things to exist in human civilization. Because of that, it's quite lovely where I come from.

On Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, our society has a designated play time where little white children and little black children can have fun together. On Thanksgiving, we organize turkey hunts, people of Native American heritage gathering around tables to share the caught turkey with anyone of English descent. During Hanukkah, each town keeps an oil lamp lit for eight days straight, and it's a pleasure every year to sit around your town's lantern and chat about life. On February 2nd, Punxsutawney Phil the groundhog really does determine what days are part of spring on our calendar. And on Labor Day, everyone does community service so they can get a taste of how the upstanding workers of their community work every day of the week to keep society's wheels turning.

But every coin has two sides, and my culture's obsession with holidays has a rusted, darker side with no sheen on its copper. When beautiful autumn arrives and the harvest season ends, red, orange, and yellow leaves decorating the landscape with awe, we slit the throats of our livestock and burn them in honor of the Celtic gods. Halloween is what it's called, and like fall shows the darkest season of the year is coming, Halloween tells us the most brutal holidays will arrive in mere months.

On Christmas Eve, the Santa Patrol--which is our government's military force responsible for handling the event of Christmas--marches from door to door dressed in Santa and elf costumes. And in the spirit of Christianity's punishment system, they reward the nice children with presents and drag away the naughty children to burn and scream in the Government Christmas Camps. With the Santa Patrol pressuring the misbehaving kids to be nice under the threat of live burning, we have no juvenile delinquents in our society. I know so first hand! My niece was a bad influence on my nephew, but after the Santa Patrol took her away like Krampus did to bratty children in Hungarian mythology, my nephew stayed nice and wholesome. So Christmas and the roasting of the bad children work out as beneficial for civilization at the end of the day, for the splend

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👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ Aug 11 2018
🚨︎ report
People From My Reality Take Holidays Too Seriously, and I Need You For Easter.

I come from a world parallel to yours, where holidays are a sacred part of our culture and we celebrate them in ways you'd consider strange or twisted. The word "holiday" came from "holy day," didn't it? So we love to treat them like they're the holiest and most hallowed things to exist in human civilization. Because of that, it's quite lovely where I come from.

On Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, our society has a designated play time where little white children and little black children can have fun together. On Thanksgiving, we organize turkey hunts, people of Native American heritage gathering around tables to share the caught turkey with anyone of English descent. During Hanukkah, each town keeps an oil lamp lit for eight days straight, and it's a pleasure every year to sit around your town's lantern and chat about life. On February 2nd, Punxsutawney Phil the groundhog really does determine what days are part of spring on our calendar. And on Labor Day, everyone does community service so they can get a taste of how the upstanding workers of their community work every day of the week to keep society's wheels turning.

But every coin has two sides, and my culture's obsession with holidays has a rusted, darker side with no sheen on its copper. When beautiful autumn arrives and the harvest season ends, red, orange, and yellow leaves decorating the landscape with awe, we slit the throats of our livestock and burn them in honor of the Celtic gods. Halloween is what it's called, and like fall shows the darkest season of the year is coming, Halloween tells us the most brutal holidays will arrive in mere months.

On Christmas Eve, the Santa Patrol--which is our government's military force responsible for handling the event of Christmas--marches from door to door dressed in Santa and elf costumes. And in the spirit of Christianity's punishment system, they reward the nice children with presents and drag away the naughty children to burn and scream in the Government Christmas Camps. With the Santa Patrol pressuring the misbehaving kids to be nice under the threat of live burning, we have no juvenile delinquents in our society. I know so first hand! My niece was a bad influence on my nephew, but after the Santa Patrol took her away like Krampus did to bratty children in Hungarian mythology, my nephew stayed nice and wholesome. So Christmas and the roasting of the bad children work out as beneficial for civilization at the end of the day, for the splendid result just

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👍︎ 2
💬︎
📅︎ Aug 13 2018
🚨︎ report

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