Did I do it right?
TL;DR: Bought condoms from a different brand, they were too small, ruined my night and now I'm angry.
I just moved to a new place, wanted to grab some condoms but my local store did not have the brand I used to buy. Since I always bought the basic "classic" condoms I just grabbed the "classic" ones from another popular brand. A few weeks later I was ended up with a nice woman in my bed and tried to put a condom but it just did not work. After 30 seconds of pulling and sweating it was finally on, but a few minutes later my dick went flaccid. I was so confused and after minutes of trying to get hard again I told my partner that we have to dispense with the penetrative part of our naughty activities.
The next day I gave it another try, this time alone, without any pressure (Should have done this before). The condoms were definitely smaller (probably too small) than the ones I used to buy. After some googling if found out that the condoms I used to buy have a 56mm diameter and the new ones only 52mm, both labeled as "Classic".
The next time I was in the near local supermarket, I spent quite some time in front of the condom shelf and inspected most packages looking for one with a "real size" of 56 mm. It took a while and i already got some weird looks from the staff working there. Most of the brands do not even have the size printed on the packages, I had to google like 70% of them.
The fact that most brands use non-benchmark terms for measurements where precision is actually important confuses me. I do not say the cant use them anymore, but at least they could print the actual size on the package. Also I wont forget again trying unknown condoms first alone in a solo mission.
Edit: Turns out I just picked a brand which makes condoms for a tighter fit. Changed to another brand and the "normal" size fits.
Edit2: Never thought I'd learn so much about condoms in one day.
Edit3: I know how and where to buy condoms, it was just a rant about condom brands not labeling the size of their products well visible on the packaging.
Edit4: Turns out buying condoms is a lot like buying women clothes. The difference is you can bring the clothes back if they do not fit, the condoms on the other hand...
This christmas after throwing away my 6 year old treasure chest(storage box with lock, gift from my father) I(14F) got a new table with 4 drawers in my room which have locks too. I transferred my treasures inside, like gift from friends, diaries, sketchbooks etc. I thought that I am the only one with the keys but I started to suspect that my mother had another set of keys and she has been snooping on my stuffs.
I would find my things not quite where they were placed despite still inside my drawers, and just recently my mother asked me about the things I draw(in my sketchbooks, which I keep in my drawers most of the times) not being age appropriate(because I was practicing human anatomy and she thought they were nudes). I voiced out my suspicion but my mother denies it, saying that she just saw my drawings lying around.
Yesterday I decided to test it, to trigger a reaction to see if my mother has really been snooping. I stole 2 pieces(not 1, title wrong) of condom from my mother's room and put them in my drawer before going out to meet with my friends. When I came back, my mother and stepfather said that they wanted a word.
They interrogated me like a criminal asking if I have been seeing boys, who I met that day and demand that I have to be honest with them. At first I wanted to say something smart but ended up directly asking if is it because they've seen the condoms in my drawer. With my suspicion confirmed I threw a temper at my mother and said some really nasty things at my mother ans stepfather(pretty sure he has nothing to do with it as he respects boundaries, but I blew at him regardless for siding with my mother).
My mother wanted to ground me but I then called my father telling him that she threw away the treasure chest he gave me replacing it with something that she can snoop on, he called my mother and they argued on the phone. My mother then refused to cook my portion of lunch that day for ruining the new year and I ordered food delivery which my stepfather paid for.
After calming down(which is now) maybe I shouldn't have pulled that? I could have done it smarter and plan better to not have it ending up like that. However I also think that this wouldn't have been a problem if my mother did not throw my treasure chest away or not keeping a spare key for my drawers. So AITA?
TLDR: Plan B is NOT something to take lightly. You cannot just ask a woman to take it like she's popping an advil. If you can't use a condom + she's not on BC then don't have sex.
I (21F) had sex with a guy (23M) a couple months ago and the condom wasn't fitting him properly so he asked if we could have sex without it and he could pay me back for Plan B. I knew it was a bad idea and really wanted to say no. However I've had bad experiences in the past with an ex boyfriend who would get really pissed if I didn't want to take plan B (I wouldn't want to for valid reasons) so I felt too scared/pressured to say no, and ended up just saying yes.
Well, now I'm here over two months later and my period has been missing (I had a withdrawal bleed after taking it, I'm not pregnant). I can't explain how frustrating dealing with irregular periods is, esp bc I've already been dealing with a hormonal condition the past few years and was just starting to repair and regulate my cycles. Now I'm worried I've fucked it up all over again. Plan B has a fuck ton of progesterone that really affects a woman's cycle and hormonal system and overall health. I've learned my lesson now and will never say yes to taking it just to have sex one time but I really want all men (and women) to understand that it's not something to be taken lightly. Please do not treat it like some over the counter medication that has no effect. Listen to the woman in your life if she tells tell you she doesn't want to take it and absolutely do not pressure her into it.
Posted this in r/sex yesterday but the mods eventually removed it because it didn't apply to that sub or something. Some of the comments suggested I come here. So here I am.
In a few days, if all goes well, I will no longer be a virgin. I've been doing everything possible to prepare for what's to come, which is how I ended up at the convenience store two days ago to purchase condoms for the first time ever. Not gonna lie, it did feel really awkward standing in a queue with a snickers bar in one hand and a box of condoms in the other. Maybe it was just my imagination but I could feel people staring. It also didn't help that on the box was a half naked woman preparing to take off her pants. If that wasn't awkward enough, as soon as the cashier had to scan my condoms, the scanner somehow stopped scanning. The cashier raised the box of condoms towards the heavens like it was baby Simba... just to check the big ass barcode printed on the bottom.
The cashier apologized and said she's new before proceeding to call one of the other cashiers to come over and assist. At that moment I was tempted to just abort the mission and leave, but I convinced myself it couldn't get any worse. I was wrong. Cashier #2 showed up, and lo and behold, it's one of the girls at my school. We're not friends or anything but we've seen each other at school enough times to prompt a "hey you". Cashier #2 noticed the condoms and I could tell, even behind her mask, she was struggling to keep a straight face. So, instead of just keeping my mouth shut, I blurted out "it's for my dad!". Both cashiers froze and looked at me like they were scared I was gonna go into more detail. Long story short, I got the condoms and got out, but now I got PTSD or some shit.
If it was any other product in the store, none of the above would've been weird. So why is buying condoms so damn awkward? Or maybe it's just me, I dunno. All I know is... I ain't going back there ever again.
TL:DR Went shopping for condoms at the convenience store. It seemed like the people in the store were judging me. I became awkward and without thinking said the condoms were for my dad. My dad!!! Lol so stupid.
He also said they look like nipples. Ever since, I have half a box remaining that I’ve avoided making because I can’t “unsee” the condoms and nipples.
What pasta dishes do you use orecchiette in? I want to revisit that box and use it in a spectacular way that distracts my husband from recognizing them.
I’ve recently got out of a long relationship where I felt very pressured to change my mind on “waiting” for kids and just a whole lot of things also wrong so I am VERY excited to be enjoying another man’s company.
Without getting too gushy, he makes me laugh until I cry and just feel on exactly the same wavelength. We’ve talked about our futures briefly and in passing have mentioned not wanting our own kids.
Well, we finally get into it and he stops to ask if he should run out to get a condom. I said “well, yeah, I don’t want kids” and kinda laugh it off. He says, “Oh, I’ve had a vasectomy, being honest. I’m clean, but just wanna make sure you feel safe.”
Just butterflies. All the butterflies. I know it probably sounds like a huge jump and stuff but considering other stuff, just yeah. I’m super smiley and just felt like sharing.
Edit: He wore one! I know condoms prevent STIs and STDs! I was mostly excited that this really amazing guy is already snipped!
2nd Edit: He wasn’t trying to skip a condom, he was trying to be smooth on whether he physically needed to go get some or if I had any.
I (43f) am a principal at a high school in Colorado. Recently, there was a meeting about improving sex Ed. I heard that Vermont would be the first state to require secondary schools to provide condoms in the nurses office. I thought it was a fantastic idea. We, as in the staff, superintendent and district, voted to provide free condoms in the nurse’s office for juniors and seniors. We sent a poll out to the parents emails. 61% voted yes and 39% votes no. Meaning there will be many, many upset parents but teens can not be stopped and it’s much better if they are able to protect themselves. I have caught a few students having sex in the bathroom. Typically they are supposed to be suspended, punished, etc- but they would beg me not to tell their parents with legit fear in their eyes. I realized then that they are the products of strict parenting which pushed them to have sex in unsafe places. So I would not tell their parents but I would subject them to consequences like volunteering in the office instead of getting lunch break for a week or so. So- Free condoms will be in the nurse’s office for juniors and seniors. Students can come by and pick them up, no comments needed from either side. This will go into effect after Christmas break. Should we add or do anything else? I was thinking about booklets that will let students know where they can get cheap/free resources if they aren’t comfortable with going to the nurse. Should we print and administer those as well? There is a sex Ed crisis in American society and it needs to be combatted.
Edit: People are bringing up inclusivity. We have many LGBT students attending! My son, hes 17, is bisexual and I had to educate myself on sex Ed for LGBT teens. A couple of people have mentioned dental dams. I will see about that. Should lube be included as well for lgbt boys?
Another edit: Many people have stated that keeping them with the nurse might discourage students. I will talk with the staff about placing them in bathrooms.
Dad: "To avoid such questions."
I know my boyfriend isn’t lying, as i have eyes and a brain, however when i posted this post on a different reddit, many people came to tell me my boyfriend is lying to me to be able to have sex with no condom, if that was true, he wouldn’t be so worried about safe sex and finding good condoms that fit.
So me and my boyfriend have been together for around a year. We have had sex but it’s not easy. We are very serious about safe sex, but can’t seem to find a condom brand that will fit? We have been doing research but can’t find anything anywhere. He has tried the My.Size 69mm and they are still quite a bit too small and he hates them. Wondering if anyone else has run into this problem? and has found a condom just right for them? It’s really starting to effect our sex life, and i miss being intimate.
Edit: Did some research and He is 7.4 inches and then like 6 inches width
I (36f) have a set of triplets. Two girls and one boy. They are 17. They will graduate school and start college this fall. They focus on their studies but as they are reaching adulthood, they are getting curious about other things. Both of my girls have boyfriends and my son, not sure. Yesterday I sat the three of them down and I spoke to them about safe sex and consent. They were surprised and kind of quiet. I gave each of them a box of condoms and explained where to store them so they aren’t ruined. I begged them to always use them when or if they plan on having sex. Later one of my daughters came to me and asked me if she could get on birth control for double protection. I was surprised myself that time but I said yes. I thanked her for coming to me about it. Some of my friends accused me of promoting promiscuity and teaching them that it’s okay to be distracted from their studies. That’s not the case at all. You may think you know what your teen is doing but you don’t. So that’s why I want them to be safe with whatever they’re doing behind my back. No parent wants their baby to have sex but after a certain age we have to accept that it might happen. My parents beat me when they found my condoms and grounded me. It only made me have sex without condoms because I was thinking “They won’t know I have sex if they don’t find condoms.” Well, I got pregnant at 18 and my triplets were born when I was 19. I’m glad I have my babies though because I get to be the parent that I needed when I was their age. I want them to know that it is their choice, they will always have a mother to come talk to, and that I am their support system no matter what. Toxic Asian parenting be damned.
Some men don’t like wearing condoms or just don’t want to, but I personally prefer that they would wear one. Is it reasonable to insist that they wear a condom and deny them sex if they don’t wear a condom? There have been too many times where guys don’t acknowledge my request and insist on their preference instead. Is it really that bad to wear a condom? Would you decline sex if your partner insisted that you wear one?
This is in response to the submission about people only posting stories where BC doesn't work as it's supposed to.
Besides once, the second time I had sex in my life at the age of sixteen, never have I needed any other BC.
I was young and in a religious community - I didn't have anyone to discuss or learn from. In hindsight I realised that you can't keep going once he has orgasmed, and the condom fell off him. I took plan B, and read up on condoms. Learned that there is such a thing as imperfect use, and set my goal to be as perfect as I can be.
(My chronic anxiety and perfectionism may have helped me out a bit!!)
Condom every time there is penetration, check after use for any leaks, tears or holes. Well fitting condoms. Discovered lube way too late in life! Any guy who has a problem wearing one, I have a problem with him.
After taking plan B that one time, I realised I really don't want to use hormonal BC if I can avoid it. Still avoiding it!
All the slides were just pictures of me.
I (17m) and my girl (18f) have been dating since last November and started having sex in June. I always keep my condoms under my bed because nobody just goes snooping under my bed. Mid July my dog was under my bed and he took my condom box and ran out with it. I stopped him in the hallway and took them back but my mom had already seen it. She snatched it out of my hand & started yelling for my dad. He came, she held the box up and pointed at me, and they both looked so disappointed and I felt very ashamed. They ended up breaking me and my girlfriend up and stalk my every move to make sure we aren’t together. Although we’re not “together” anymore, I find ways around their blocks when I can. My parents have decided that COVID is a great opportunity to do some family bonding. They bought board games, made every Saturday movie night, and want everyone to take turns talking about their day. I often start studying so I am too busy to have to join. However sometimes they will force me to join. I just sit there silently or I don’t engage at all. I don’t mean to hurt their feelings- there just isn’t anything I want to say to them. My dad got angry a couple of days ago because of my silence with them. He screamed about how I haven’t had a real conversation with them in basically two months. I let him scream and I still stayed silent. Again, I just don’t have anything to say to them.. At all. However, my dad’s yelling did make me feel like a terrible kid for not speaking to them. I guess I should start talking to them, but I just don’t want to. I know that family is important and you should never hold grudges towards your family, but my feelings feel so set in stone that I don’t think I can bring myself to have a true conversation with them. Is there anyway I can just get over myself and speak to my parents?
I don’t know if anyone else has this problem. But whenever I’m hooking up with a guy lately, they want to do Pull Out. They expect me to take their word that they don’t have an STD? Sorry but I just can’t hook up without a condom no matter how much they don’t want too. Is anyone else dealing with this? I even buy condoms MYSELF in preparation for when they tell me they don’t have one and they want to just do pullout.
Any other ladies going through this? I never used to have this problem it seems recent!!
Of course, I am staunchly child free, always have been.
I've never had any qualms about abortion and all my life I always knew that if I ever accidentally got pregnant, 100% chance I would have an abortion.
But for some reason I learned pretty early on that if a guy thought you were a feminist and/or pro choice, he thought that meant he didn't need to use a condom. If I tried to make him use one, he would just try to badger me, or try to get me drunk, or even just straight up stealth me.
For him, raw sex is low risk: "no biggie, if I knock her up, she'll just have an abortion" because HE'S not the one who has to go through the pain and hassle of getting a fetus scraped out of his body.
I also learned early on that if you tell a guy you don't want kids, suddenly he wants kids. But, if you tell a guy that you WANT kids, suddenly he doesn't want kids. Whatever your stance, he wants to be the one to convince you otherwise. It's not even about the actual kids, it's about him wanting to have the power to control your choices and your body.
Eventually I learned that if I was horny but didn't want to deal with a ton of unnecessary trouble, I could always just tell him that I think abortion is murder and that if he ever got me pregnant, I would keep it and go after him for child support.
HOOO BOY did that ever motivate them to use protection!
In his mind, raw sex with a pro-life chick is much higher risk. Of course, that's not gonna stop them from trying to get laid, they're just more likely to be careful about it.
Fortunately, I haven't had to use this tactic recently because ever since I found FDS, I have been dating women exclusively.
A word of warning though: I DO NOT recommend this tactic. If you've thoroughly vetted a man, then you should know by then that he is not the sleazy type who would refuse to use a condom. This tactic is not FDS approved and it was something I resorted to before I learned how to vet properly and set firm boundaries.
Any man who refuses to wear a condom is automatically NEGATIVE value and you shouldn't be having sex with them anyways.
Legit saw this post on some pregnancy subreddit.
Someone said they got pregnant with an IUD, but they’re very excited for it because “life finds a way”
Since the work from home have started , I have been living with my parents and working from there. Before I start , a lil information about my family. I come from a very strict conservative family who thinks their worth and respect depends on the societal norms.
Yesterday, while I was out with friends , my mom snooped into my stuff and found the condoms hidden in a box. She went bat-shit crazy. Called me, hurling with abuses ( lots of unresolved anger issue).
Upon my return she won't talk about it but now keep evesdropping on calls, question who I am talking to , not even allowed to close doors now. Its hell on earth. Instead of talking , they keep venting out anger on other irrelevant stuff. Dad did talk to me about it , saying this is not the age ( for sake I am almost 24 now )
Like I am sorry for adopting safe sex practices. The heck.
I don't earn much to be financially Independant so I don't really have an option to move out and shit. Parents aren't rational enough to have any kind of conversation.
I don't know what to do.
So like I keep seeing people talk about wrapping it up but I have always used condoms and I still got herpes it’s getting to the point where it seems inevitable that people will get some form of herpes. The stigma is ridiculous I think extremely painful outbreaks are a sign of a poor diet because after the first outbreak I had( I’ve had 2) once I started eating better I didn’t get them and didn’t have pain with my second one. Can people truly avoid getting herpes? Before I got the swab I was getting tested before and after every partner and they didn’t include it in my panel until there was actually something there. How can anyone avoid this? Even having a “low body count” is irrelevant because there are people who talk about getting it with the first person they had sex with.
We aren’t together, and last night I (20F) asked him(20M) to wear a condom for std prevention (as I am seeing someone else). He’s trying to go off the basis that because the condom broke last time that we don’t need them period. But he wore it, we had sex, but jfc he was asking every 10 minutes if he could take it off. I’m probably just gonna stop having sex with him bc that shits annoying and it’s not that good anyway.
My boyfriend and I haven’t been dating for that long, maybe around 3-4 months. We’re both 23 years old and have graduated from college. He’s in medical school and I’m in graduate school.
The first time we had sex was right before my period started. I asked if he had a condom and he said no. Since it was right before my period, I thought it would be okay and he said he would make sure to pull out.
Now ever since then, he will try EVERY TIME to have sex without a condom. Obviously this scares me and causes me stress because I’m NOT on birth control (I’ve tried being on birth control before but it made me insanely depressed).
He assures me that he had sex with his ex girlfriend all the time with no condom, and she was also not on birth control. He said that it feels better for both of us and that as long as he pulls out it will be okay. (He also showed me lab results saying that he is STD free).
The only time that I don’t mind having sex without a condom is when I’m on my period. We did this, and he proceeded to... finish inside of me. This made me upset because I told him not too.
I have taken plan B at least 3 times since we started dating because I’m terrified of getting pregnant. I’m scared that he might secretly be trying to get me pregnant? But who really knows. I only say this because he jokes around about how I’m too good for him and that “I’m a wife” ???
I have tried talking to him about this, and he will agree with me that he doesn’t want to risk having a kid. But then will try again to put it in without a condom!!!! I don’t know what to do at this point. I don’t want to break up with him but I’m not ready to risk getting pregnant.
How do I handle this?
I'd posted another rant on here about 2,5 months ago because I was so perplexed as to whether I should let it go or give it another try (we had had an accident with the condom again, which by no means was it done on purpose. Basically the condom broke as it always used to because shops don't sell the size he needs. Right before he came I asked him whether it had broken and he didn't even check. He assumed it hadn't and came. I was on my fertile window and it was a mess.)
In the end I did give it another try. And things were out-of-this-world-fantastic. I had two conditions: to find the right size and wear condoms during sex, and to take it as "slow" as I need so I wouldn't be in pain.
We managed both. The condoms were superb and he felt comfortable. The first time we tried them he was so excited and I felt much more relaxed now that I felt safe from any unwanted pregnancies and emergency contraception pills. So sex was good and I once again felt connected. It felt exactly like the beginning of our relationship: he could touch my arm and I would get wet. We were both feeling incredibly sexual.
And then quarantine came and he started spending all his time in video games, not exercising, not eating well, not studying, and smoking weed everyday. And hearing all this and especially the last one I felt so cold. Because in spring's quarantine exactly the same happened and he completely wastes his time. I have no real problem with weed. Occasionally I do it too. But I know what a strong habit he has made of it throughout his life. From his early teens he was smoking weed all day everyday, up until I met him he had to smoke at least a joint before he could sleep. Eventually he quit for a while, because it became too much for me and he could see it. And honestly he would smoke and he would like be in another place and I didn't like that.
All of this is contrasting with the way I'm leading my life. I love to make good use of my time. I love doing stuff and taking care of both my body and mind. And I don't really need deadlines to get things done, the motivation I have is innate. I just want to be doing and learning things.
So this getting-wet-with-a-random-touch stopped the moment I realised he was doing all this stuff again. It felt unattractive to me and it was the drop from the out-of-this-world cloud. He is 24, he is always complaining about not liking his financial dependancy to his parents, he's lived his life so far wasting time with the wrong people, he... keep reading on reddit ➡
Condoms, condoms, always use condoms, condoms great, condoms this condoms that, every swinger forum ever....
But my wife and I have been swinging for over 10 years now, we used condoms the whole time, and the other day we talked about it and said lets not anymore. You can get reddit offended if this bothers you, but its our bodies our choice.
Ok so we decided this, and while I don't owe anyone the logic, ours was we had the HVP vaccine, we aren't worried about HSV2, we aren't worried about HIV in our demographics and babies aren't an issue. This is our risk and our partners risk.
So poof we decided to drop condoms as a rule, we'd still use them if requested but if they were cool without so would we be.
Met two couples, one we've known for years (condoms only) one was new. I'm playing with the new girl, and before we can even talk condoms shes pulling me in without one. (side note, shes and M.D.). Next thing its like a chain reaction and no one is in the group. These are people who if asked would say "always" to condoms.
Next encounter, new couple we've met before but never played with. I ask about condoms. She says "Oh we are ok without condoms."
Next encounter, couple our age, condoms never come out.
Next encounter, "condom only couple" (health professionals btw), no problem we use condoms with them. Two days later (this was on a swinger vacation) "I've been tested recently if you are ok without condoms".
I'm beginning to think that the reason we always used condoms the last 10 years is because we just used them without thinking or asking, so they went along with us. As soon as we decided we don't need condoms, without even asking or trying everyone is ok without them, and I bring up that of the 6 couples involved in all this, half of them are health care professionals! No one here is trailer trash.
The complete ease we went from 100% condoms to 0% makes me realize that there is a whole lot of lying in swinging when it comes to this.
I recently got a boyfriend and I want to have sex with him, but I’m terrified of getting pregnant. I want to try the pill, but I’m really scared of depression and anxiety that might come with it (I’m already a bit depressed and anxious enough as it is, and I really can’t afford to take on anymore). There’s no way I can afford the copper IUD (since I’m on my parents health insurance).
Are condoms + pulling out (or even just condoms alone) usually good enough? Someone please ease my anxiety, I really would like to enjoy sex :(
EDIT: thank you everyone for your help! I’m going to look into trying the pill :)
I see this a lot. They're always complaining about how they hate single moms. They hate dating them, they hate paying child support, they hate physically and emotionally supporting their child.
If kids and single moms are such a burden to them why do they insist on not wearing condoms? How stupid can they get ? Last time I checked women aren't asexual sponges that have babies on their own. If guys want to do the baby tango without any protection and the women ends up pregnant it's his fault too.
I'm sick guys saying the women need to keep their legs shut. But when women do keep their legs shut they whine and complain about not getting sex and call women prudes over it. So what do they want ? Sex is a risk. Especially for women! They should be grateful they're getting any at all.
If they want the full pleasure of not wearing a condom they should just fully commit to a woman they might want to have kids with. But they don't do that. They want condomless sex with a variety of women. Which could put themselves and the women (especially the women) at risk for stds.
They're so dumb it's like after they were born their brains stopped working properly.