I've tried practicing mindfulness for my anxiety and ADHD (basically trying to embrace your thought process and accept your thoughts without putting mental energy in trying to stop your thoughts ish) and then I sit there and be like "okay I'll just accept my thoughts" and then I think about accepting my thoughts and then I be like "????" and it just feels messy and cloudy and I'm just unaware of what I'm even thinking about. Like I don't know how to just let my thought process go because I get too caught up in trying to accept my thoughts. Maybe I just get distracted idek.
Does that make sense to anyone?
Edit: by comprehend time at the same rate, I mean you comprehend it as normal to everyone else, you can just run really fast.
I've only been vegeterian for a couple of months, and up until now it seems like 90% of the people that find out I'm vegeterian are either disappointed or annoyed. Literally the only positive feedback I've gotten was from other vegeterians, everyone else has been either neutral or negative.
Recently a male friend of mine casually asked "how long has it been since [my vegeterian female friend] 'vegetarianized' you"? (Rough translation from Hebrew). He automatically just assumed it was because of her, and of course she had nothing to do with my change of diet.
Like, am I not allowed to have my own moral compass, empathy and ideology? Is being trying to be a good person reserved to women, and when a man does it you roll your eyes at him, or just assume he has some hidden motive?
And to top it all off, being a vegeterian is something I try not to let people know about if I don't need to, and still whenever people find out they seem to think I'm looking for attention and positive affermations, and assume I'm gonna start preaching to them, even after I immediately say "don't worry, I'm not gonna start preaching".
I'm just so disappointed by my friends, and everyone that surrounds me that happens to find out I'm a vegeterian.
Because for some of us that true self was never even allowed to exist to begin with, the supression and erradication of who we were meant to be started as soon as the though of us were born. They took us away from ourselves.
Itβs been 4 months. Iβm seriously scared I got brain damage. Will I ever be the same? Especially because of the fact that my doc put me on levoquin for an infection while I was tapering. I feel like I just cant comprehend things until I think about them in my head for a minute. I also misinterpret words when I read ALL THE TIME
I remember one of the reasons I started being depressed at 13 is knowing I'd be a wageslave, spending my days hating so many hours of the day, just like at school but for even more hours at work.
And it's been more than 12 years since then and that feeling only got worse.
I honestly don't understand how people aren't absolutely terrified and crushed by this situation. I literally would be less scared of a serial killer alien bear trying to capture me and torture me than of the very crushing fact that I'll spend ~8 hours a day (+commute and time to get ready), 5 days a week for the rest of my life being a wageslave. 8 hours a day when I'm actively miserable, doing things I hate, taking orders from assholes. All for a pittance of a paycheck, just enough so I can come crawling back another day. Just enough so people can tell me that others have it worse, at least I have a job!
Hell, it doesn't even resume to those 8 hours, I hate this existence so much that even Saturday I'm anxious and depressed about having to work on Monday. Shit, even Friday I'm already dreading Monday. Is this hell? At least I'm unemployed right now and it feels so much better, but of course I gotta find some new hell and I have to fucking beg for it, have to be thankful for it.
