I spent my whole life feeling like the worlds biggest fuckup. From day 1, EVERYTHING always seemed so much easier for everyone else. At 30, I found out that it WAS, since I have ADHD. The diagnosis and medication completely changed my life. The self-loathing I’d had since before I can remember started to fall away as I was able to work and interact with people easily, my crippling anxiety about being ‘the girl who can’t do anything right’ disappeared, I was able to go to grad school and build my career into something I love instead of just tolerate.
And that’s when I met my husband. He’s an amazing man and incredibly good to me, but like a lot of people, he’s an ADHD skeptic, particularly when it comes to medication. We’re 6 months pregnant (yay!), which obviously meant going off my meds cold turkey the day I found out. And I’m fucking drowning. Off the meds, my life has fallen apart. My work productivity has PLUMMETED. My boss knows the whole story and is amazing about it, but just... keep reading on reddit ➡
We wanted to take our Mother in Law out to a fancy restaurant as a treat because she rarely gets out, but she insisted she just wanted to go to Applebee’s. Instead of listening to her (because we didn’t consider Applebee’s to be somewhere special), we forced her to go to a really nice Italian restaurant she had never been too. She was miserable the whole time. We felt really bad afterwards because we realized she wasn’t against it simply because “it cost too much”. It was truly out of her comfort zone. If we had really wanted to treat her, we would’ve listened and taken her where she really wanted to go, even if it was plain old Applebee’s. She’s passed now, but I’ve always felt bad about this, because it was probably the last time we got to take her out to dinner and she didn’t really enjoy the experience.
> What does an NBA players strike accomplish? It’s action. It’s sacrificing professional goals for a life-or-death conversation. It’s forcing people to listen. It’s shoving people out of their comfort and complacency. It’s a build up of grief and rage, released powerfully.
> -Kerith Burke (@KerithBurke) August 26, 2020
I just had a heated argument with a Windows user where argument was about Linux being hard to maintain. The guy just wouldn't accept my defense so I showed him how to COMPLETELY remove a software with one command and how to update the whole system with combination of two commands. I swear this was his face reaction: 😮
To all those who are fighting urges 🌿
Wife and I adopted Trissie (nickname) when she was 6. Trissie had been in foster care for a year at that stage as her mother had passed and her father wasn’t around.
Trissie is our eldest child, we have two sons (15 and 10)
Trissie had been out with a friend when she texted me about a drunk man exposing himself by going toilet in the corner of the bus stop.
I told her to leave and she did.
She had been walking home, I would’ve picked her up but I was two hours drive away at the time when she texted me about a group of drunk men, including the one from earlier following her home.
She got maybe 20minutes before my wife was able to pick her up.
We’ve tried to talk to her about it but she insists she’s OK, when she got home she cried herself to sleep so I don’t think she’s as ok as she claims to be.
I of course can’t force her to talk about it but I don’t know how to comfort her here? She’s clearly not taken it well.
Yes, yes I do. I’ve worked hard to create a comfort zone for myself. A good income, a nice house, my loving and supportive partner, my pet, my hobbies. I keep educating myself, I am getting a second degree, I am learning my fourth foreign language, I read books all the time, I listen to educational webinars, I explore new places, I try out new recipes, I take care of my mental health, I indulge, it’s my comfort zone.
What’s so wrong in staying in it and why should I feel bad for it?
I need a good book to loose myself in as breakup comfort. Something magical with world building that sucks you in and let's you live there for a while.
I keep struggling with this because I see a trend of me playing chaotic good mage like characters in most traditional (fantasty) RPG's I play. Dragon Age, POE 1/2, and I just got Kingmaker and I REALLY want to do something evil. It's about building a kingdom which seems prime time to be selfish I would think? The problem is so often evil choices end up being "Kill these puppies just because", or "Nah, I won't help you save your kid, I'll just kill you and take 20 gold instead". Very much Chaotic Joker level evil or mustache twiling silly.
The only game I can think of I wasn't purely good was Mass Effect, I liked how you were the hero still, but being a renegade I got things done with less than moral results at times and could be selfish.
In terms of class I find the more fighter types just dull with limited sets of skills in most RPGs, which is why I gravitate towards Mages with a wealth of spells... but I also struggle with that, how many times am I going to Roleplay in my mind tha... keep reading on reddit ➡
Why can't we just call it what it was? That these women were kidnapped and forced to be sex slaves? It's like the wording being used in the news about the Epstein case: "sex with underage women" etc when, in reality, it should be "they raped underage girls." The wording just softens the act. The words "comfort women" make it sound like these women were sent to have Japanese soldiers put their heads in their laps and sing them to sleep because colonizing and terrorizing entire countries was just so stressful. It just doesn't fit, and it feels like Japan is just trying to dodge around the severity of the act.
I'm going to make this short and simple (and vague). My sister and I are considered mixed race, half white half Mexican. I absolutely do not look mixed. I am very pale with blue eyes. My sister is dark skinned with curly hair. Our whole lives we were always asked if we were full blooded siblings. (we are..or so I thought?) My sister's husband decided to get her an ancestry DNA kit as a gift since we do not know much about our Hispanic side. Her results came back as ~40% African and ~60% white. She had 0% Hispanic origins. She is starting to have doubts about the very obvious. She has asked me to take a test to see if my results come back similar (LOL) I can tell she is struggling to cope with this information because its honestly a doubt we've all had in the back of our minds. In case anyone asks, yes I am absolutely certain my parent is of Hispanic descent. My grandparents were full blooded, spoke Spanish, and we took family trips to Mexico growing up. I don't want to take the DNA t... keep reading on reddit ➡
I've seen a few gay guys who wear jock straps all the time and say "oh they're just comfortable" or in porn where they take their pants off and they're wearing jock straps and I just....I do not understand it. I don't understand how anyone can walk around all the time in underwear that lets your ass cheeks and bare butthole rub against your jeans or something all the time and actually call it comfortable. I get that it probably supports the fun stuff really well but I just can not imagine being comfortable in public knowing that whatever butthole sweat I am developing is going directly onto the fabric that is exposed to the world.
Like, if you wear it because it makes your butt look good or something, great, awesome. If you wear it because you want to hook up with guys then wear that jock strap you thirsty ho. But the ones that are like "NO god I only wear them because they're comfortable, I'm not like THAT", I just do not buy it one damn bit.
I read this NPR article while working from home and wearing a sack dress, and I have a lot of thoughts.
From the article:
>Billowing linen. Cozy cotton. Floating silk. The house dress is having a 2020 renaissance. Flowy tunics, chic kimonos and muumuus, and ankle-length T-shirts are floating into more and more shopping carts — a sartorial coping mechanism for the modern pandemic age.
>For decades, the house dress got a bad rep — a throwback to the times when women's sway was confined to housework. Its origin is said to trace to a Victorian gown that freed women of corsets but clad them instead in a baggy matronly smock named after "Mother Hubbard" from old nursery rhymes.
I have definitely been wearing a lot of unstructured, loose dresses. But I have an issue with the idea of these dresses as "house dresses," i.e. clothes that you wouldn't want to be seen in p... keep reading on reddit ➡
So I’ve been going to a lot of posts that are several years old from here and /r/stilltrying, posts from women saying it still hasn’t happened, they’ve given up, they had another loss, etc.
When I go to their profiles to see where they are today, and I’m not exaggerating when I say that 99% of the ones I checked up on (I’ve looked at A LOT of profiles) now have babies.
It gave me a lot of hope, and I thought it might for some of you, too.
My $40 Jan 2021 calls have been dipping and quickly. Is there any upside with the stimulus coming and the feds fucking us in the ass in the near future?
Someone please tell me I’ll actually make money this time 😭😭😭
The kind of song that makes you think "yes, everything's going to be okay" or gives you a sense of comfort or security. Or maybe a song that has even helped you at some point in life. I'll start with mine.
mymy - seventeen while some songs comfort you by saying things like "we'll be here for you" which gives me a false conception that my idols even know me, mymy is different. It helps me face reality that i've been afraid to acccept by conveying lyrics such as "everyone has a different weigh of happiness that cannot be measured", "there's no need to rush. You're doing just fine." Words like these are very reassuring to me rn because i will be facing results day which pretty much determines my future in 2 days. I remember having panic attacks when i went through the same thing last year, but now my heart is surprisingly calmer bc this song made me realise that my happiness should never depend on temporary things such as grades, and no matter what h... keep reading on reddit ➡
This is really silly, but I’m finding a lot of comfort in Hannah B’s failed bachelorette season lol. She didn’t have the fairytale ending that most bachelor seasons produce. I’m going through a breakup rn and it’s very reassuring to remember that this “easy path to love is” unrealistic. Everyone goes through trials and breakups. Just bc she and Tyler seemed SO perfect to me doesn’t mean they’ll end up together. It’s messy...and that’s okay. Even though Hannah didn’t find love at the end of the journey I almost think it was a success in its own way. Maybe it didn’t reach the end goal, but it sure as hell showed a strong female that stayed true to herself. I can only hope to do the same
I almost caved last night. The urge came out of nowhere and stayed for almost an hour. Shitty thoughts were running through my head like "just do it, you're not hurting anyone" "NoFap is fucking pointless" I woke up today, glad that I resisted. And I know all those stupid thoughts were years of my brain being desensitized. Nofap is definitely NOT fucking pointless. And I am hurting MYSELF by constantly fantasizing and masturbating. The streak continues. But I need my NoFap fam to lift me up. I'm feeling in the dumps today and I should be stoked about my victory. But I almost feel guilty.
Whenever I'm stressed or I fuck something up I just think to myself: Don't worry, you'll kill yourself eventually. And it brings me such comfort imagining how I put a bullet in my head or something else. Sometimes I can sit for hours and just imagine how I'll do that in details, it makes me calm and somehow happy. I can't do it right now, because of my parents, but I know I'll do it before I reach 30 years old. That's basically my plan for life.
In these uncertain times (especially in the US) I think everyone’s feeling a little bleh. But if you’re like me, you use cooking as a way to maybe feel a little better! My favorite comfort foods are:
What’s your favorite comfort foods from your culture? Bonus points if it reminds you of a special memory or person in your life, let me know the story!
Edit: I did not expect this post to blow up! I will try and go through everyone’s responses, thank you all for sharing.
I always seem to go back to season 3 when I feel unable to do/watch anything
A lot of the time I find the dramas I’m drawn to have very romantic rescue or hurt/comfort scenes, and sometimes all it takes is the promise of a good scene to get me hooked on a show. Some examples are:
Basically, what are your favourite scenes that kinda fit this description - spoilers and such are totally okay with me
I’m so sick of people telling me to stay in an uncomfortable situation (a stressful job, a city I feel lonely in, or doing things I hate in general) because if I run away from them, I’m not growing. Fuck that. It would be rather uncomfortable if I wore underwear made of poison ivy, would that make me a better person if I wore it every day? Certainly not, Just because you’re uncomfortable doesn’t mean you’re growing, sometimes you’re just making yourself miserable.
I’ve been in both situations, and I can say for sure that I grew the most in my comfort zone because doing things I’m comfortable with increases my confidence and lowers my stress, therefore increasing my mental capacity to reflect, learn, and improve. My comfort zone ironically gave me the support and tools to overcome challenges and achieve difficult goals.
I agree that sometimes, in order to get what you don’t have, you have to do what you’ve never done before, however, I feel that people nowadays are being told to ge... keep reading on reddit ➡
I found messages between his girl best friend and him, a friend he’s known for months, we’ve been together for 2 years with a lot of toxic shit were trying to work through. He basically has been venting to her along with me ( he only tells me of his moms issues tho and realizes he will have to tell his friend), and to sum it up, she basically doesn’t like me for him and thinks I’m the toxic one. We’ve never met, I’ve asked him to meet his friends since he’s been going out with these new people and I was feeling sort of off. bc irs a frequent thing where it feels like he hides me. I’ve sTrated not to press so much, but I always feel like he omits details. His girl best friend has been trying to set him up with girls at parties, and he tried to tell me that he just talks to them to entertain her, bc he doesn’t want to hear her rant to him about how toxic I apparently am. He tells me he never takes them seriously and that he has a gf. I found in those messages that while they were at a pa... keep reading on reddit ➡