It was from 11-14 and I was suicidal and struggling with trauma they gave me.
My dad called me lazy, my mother said it was my rebellious phase. They both agreed that it was hillarious.
Why did I not do any of that? Because I was dying. Literally dying. My chronic illness wasn't medicated, my ADHD and dyslexia wasn't diagnosed, I had no friends and my parents insisted that my transness was a phase that had to be crushed down.
Did I get therapy? No. Not at all. Instead I got yelled at and told to kill myself. It all ended in me trying to off myself in a school bathroom at 14 which was stopped, not by teachers, but by my friend who was younger than me.
Afterwards they decided to yell at me some more and call me a selfish asshole for "giving up". I only got therapy because my headmaster and math teacher sat me down and gave me an ultimatum. Go to therapy or be thrown out of school. I honestly owe them life. They're great.
To this day I still struggle with suicidal thoughts and they still think depression = being lazy and being trans is a sin.
But I won't kill myself anymore. The thing that saved me was not giving a shit anymore. Cool, my parents hate me. But I hate them too so why should I care what they think?
I couldn't care less about what anybody says. I know myself better than some random chucklefuck or my family.
Also friends. I found some friends.
Edit: thank you for all of your kind replies, y'all are literally the best💖💖 I wanted to add that I'm doing fine right now. I used to be suicidal, but now it's more suicidal ideation. So I think about offing myself sometimes, but I like being alive too much to actually do it.
Which os a huge step towards healing! This post was meant as a kind of haooy thing. Well, as happy as suicidality can be. I stopped giving a shit about others opinions and it made me less depressed. Highly recommend it. Also therapy and setting boundaries with the people who hurt you. Learning to say no and when to walk away is the most valuable tool you can have.
Can we just take a moment to appreciate how awesome Jeffrey Combs was that the killed off his character, only to then go, "You know what? Bring him back.. I don't know, make him a clone or whatever."
I’ve seen a couple of black people in real life and on TV have what appears to be a small comb in their hair. I thought maybe it was a cultural thing for African Americans but I live in Australia and I’ve seen it here too. Is it a new trend? Is it the equivalent of leaving a pencil behind your ear? What’s the meaning of it?
He just can't part with it.