I just came up on my 15th anniversary with my beautiful wife.
I noticed that on the weekends or in the evenings when one of us starts cleaning around the house, it will spur inspiration for the other one to clean as well.
But so many times I’ve made the mistake of seeing my wife in the kitchen cleaning and thinking to myself, I want to support her efforts, so I start cleaning around her in the kitchen.
HUGE mistake... my good intentions quickly turn into her felling like I don’t approve of the job she’s doing so I “had to step in”, when really I just wanted to help.
Instead, when inspiration strikes to support my wife and her cleaning efforts, whenever I choose a different part of the house to clean, she notices it and is pleased.
It’s the same thing in reverse too... if I’m cleaning the kitchen and she comes in and starts opening and shutting cabinets right next to me, I csn get annoyed. And then I realize that I do the same thing to her.
Live and let live. You can’t change anybody. You can only change how you react to anybody.
I've always cleaned as I cook so that when it gets to the end of the meal, there's minimal mess. My husband is the opposite. When he cooks, it's like a bomb went off. I've encouraged him to clean as he cooks, and if we're doing a big meal/holiday meal together I often make sure to assign him that role.
Like most people, one of us cooks, the other one cleans up. I am the better cook, so I cook like 80% of the time. He gets an easy cleanup.
I'm busier than usual at work, so he's had to step up. Whenever he's done, the kitchen is a mess. I don't even get how it happens, there will be oil splatters untouched, stuff drying to dishes, peels and meat. I'm not about to let food sit out overnight so after I'm done eating I'll start the process and won't get to really relax much.
Last week I asked if he could please try cleaning as he cooks. He told me "the rule is one person cooks, the other person cleans." I said "I get that but you're leaving me with a huge mess every night."
He said "I just don't have the time to clean up when I'm focused on cooking" knowing full well I'll see him scrolling on his phone.
I just got so fed up, so on Sunday I made a big pot of chili. I didn't clean up as I worked, when I was done, I served him, sat down, enjoyed a beer and dinner.
When he finally went into the kitchen, he said "What the fuck? Why is there such a mess?"
I said that I was too busy paying attention to the chili to clean up. I started to get ready for bed. He was like, "Uhh you're just going to leave this here?" and I said yes. He said he would have to wake up extra early to clean up and that he had to be at work earlier than usual and was supposed to play a game with his friends later that night, so could I just clean up.
I said no, I cooked, so he has to clean.
Two days later he's still pissy with me because he ended up not being able game and told me that he didn't get enough sleep and was exhausted at work (not to be TOO snarky, but it's not like he's a surgeon) because I had to "prove a point" to him. I told him that nothing else seemed to get his attention, and I feel pretty justified. He told me I was being a smug asshole about it and it was childish.
AITA? Or is he?
EDIT: A couple of people asked how we can make so many dishes, it should take 15 minutes, etc. We don't have a dishwasher (there's no room for one), so everything has to be done by hand. Additionally, "doing the dishes" means cleaning up the counters and stovetop and sweeping the flo... keep reading on reddit ➡
This actually unfolded over the last week, and am still "enjoying" the results of my actions..
So for the last few years I've regularly had an itch in my ears. Over the past few months it came as far as having an almost daily itch and I had to clean my ears multiple times a week because of the ginormous amount of ear wax my ears were producing.
I had been searching for a long time to find an alternative for cotton swabs as I am aware they're not the best but wasn't able to find any (guess I'm an idiot..)
Last week the itching became so bad I started googling again knowing doctors will not be an option for at least 6 more months in my country due to COVID. And so I found an ear spray that is supposed to help dissolve your ear wax while keeping your ears moisturized. Sounds perfect!
I ordered the spray and as soon as it arrived I started going to town. At first the itch immediately subsided. Then.. It became much - and I mean much! worse. Also, any time I'd move my jaw I'd hear a scratchy noise inside my ear...
Finally fed up I took out a cotton swab and was shocked as I pulled out a huge piece of dead skin from my ear. As in.. I didn't even know the inner ear had that much skin surface.. it's like I'm a badly shedding lizard in my ear. Every day I'm pulling out huge pieces of dead skin from my ears and it doesn't seem to stop anytime soon..
So yeah.. gonna enjoy that for a while.. At least my hearing has improved since using the spray.. No more cotton swabs for me..
Tl;dr: Used cotton swabs for years, itchy ears caused me to try out a spray against ear wax. Turns out my ears were itchy from years and years of dead skin buildup. Now my ears are even more itchy from all the dead skin getting unstuck in my ears.
Edit. To all the people asking me in the comments for the product. Check your local pharmacy, they probably have similar products there and will be able to inform you. Best of luck and healthy ear cleaning to y'all!
I literally just spilled paint on my carpet (its a nice ass carpet - not expensive or anything, I just love that rug, it's gorgeous and works so dynamically with my floor that I actually do stare at it a lot). I bought carpet stain remover spray though, because we are human and humans spill shit on carpets, and a couple of sprays and some dabbing (NOT RUBBING!) later and the stain is barely visible.
It just made me think back to when I discovered how aH-May-ZuNg-LY stain remover spray worked, as if this were a recent invention I was 'so lucky' to have had formulated within my lifetime when in reality it had existed for probably my entire life, because I don't recall my parents ever using anything that resulted in a 'satisfactory fix'.
It's so strange, honestly I try to fix/repair my stuff always (unless it truly makes no sense to, but even then I will usually try to repurpose it, and thats always super satisfying to achieve), and every time it's like a revelation to me that you can fix stuff and there actually won't be anything wrong with it anymore.
For my parents, if it was 'broken' or 'damaged', that was it, hold the thing a damn funeral, that was how definitively 'done' it was in this world. And really, it didn't even always matter if I was the one who'd broken something. Just something being broken or damaged was enough to set off the funerary procession; it's just instead of being sad like people usually are at funerals, it was all about being angry and pissed off, aggressive, and destructive.
Tl;Dr - man am I glad for carpet cleaner spray!
Edited to say thank you guys so god damn much for this experience because it’s been my best ever on reddit. A lot of our posts on this thread are totally heartbreaking, but in spite of that there’s so much positivity in the way we’re processing it, talking about it, sharing it, and relating to one another. I can’t say how many of these comments I’ve just been sat here like “omg I totally forgot how so-and-so used to do that!”. It’s incredible. Thank you 🙏 ❤️.
Since my mother passed away in july of last year, I (F17) have been living with my father (m56). He's a very messy person and my mom used to be the one who did all the chores, he's always been the kind of lazy bum who can't even stand up from the tv to get a beer from the fridge. Our relationship has always been rocky because of it but I was never the one to spend much time at home and my mom dealt with my father so it was never a huge issue. Now she's gone, he expected me to take on all the house work, I told him he would need to help me and he promised to try and do a few things like cooking for himself, washing the dishes and keeping things tidy, I was okay with it as I can handle a deep clean once a week as long as the house is not a mess. He kept his word for about a month and then he went back to his old behavior, it was little things at first but now he's fully back into leaving things and clothes everywhere, never washing his dishes and even asking me to bring him food while he's watching tv. Almost a month ago we went into a huge fight and since the I've been only cleaning my own mess which means the only clean place of the house is my room, that luckily has it's own bathroom. Also i stopped using the kitchen so i eat all of my meals out. He's been very bothersome about this and spend a great deal of time knocking in my bedroom door trying to convince me to clean the house but i won't budge. Yesterday my grandma came to visit and was livid about the state of the house, to be honest it's a huge mess, there's dirty dishes everywhere, dirty laundry on the floor, the kitchen is a huge mess and every single surface is sticky, etc, etc. She tried to clean a bit and ended up holding a plate of leftovers full of bugs so yeah she was mad as heck. She called me an asshole for living in such terrible conditions and told everyone in the family that I'm not being a good daughter and posted pictures of the house on our group chat, now they've been messaging me non stop about how it's my responsability to help my father who is mourning and that I'm supposed to take on my mothers role and take care of him. I don't think i should be expected to take care of a grown man but to be sure i came here for your judgement.