First of all I’m on mobile so sorry for any errors. Second is some backstory. So I’m a 16 (m) and I have been playing clarinet for about 4-6 years. I’m also in high school and about 6’2-6’3 and 210 so I look big. Now on to the real story.
So I live fairly close to my local park (about a 5-10 minute walk) and I will sometime bring my clarinet up to the pavilion and play for passerby’s. I have a jar and I take tips and money for any song requests that some people may have. I pull them up on my iPad and then play them. I charge about $3-5 per song.
One day after school I go up to my park and I set up my stuff and start playing. I have about $25 after about an hour and a half and then this woman (EP) and her son (PK for pure kid) walk up to me playing and give me a few song requests and I play them. As I’m playing I see PK with a little spark in his eye as he’s watching me play and it makes me play even better just to impress him. After I’m done I look at PK and ask him if he likes music. He energetically nods his head yes and I laugh. I ask them if there is anything else that they would like and the EP starts asking me about my instrument.
EP: So how much did your instrument cost?
Me: About $1,500-$2,000. Keep in mind this is for a fairly cheap instrument.
EP: That’s too much for us to buy. My son is very interested in your instrument and I would like one.
Me: Well I can tell you some places yo-
EP: How much would you sell yours for?
Me: Probably around $2,500-3,000 because it’s been used.
EP: But you’ve just said that yours cost less.
Me: Yes but I would like to make some profit off of this.
She then proceeded to start yelling at me to give her my clarinet and I keep telling her no. It comes to the point where she tries to grab it and I have to smack her hand away. She then starts screeching about how I “assaulted” her. I go to walk away but she turns me around and I look at her and tower over her because she seems about 5’7-5’8 so I literally tower over her. I look at PK and say that I’m sorry about that and I tell him that he should go into music whenever he has a chance. I then walk back to my house with about $45 with about $15-20 of that being hers.
TLDR: EP tries to steal a 16 yr olds clarinet because she’s too cheap to get one for her pure son.
The jump in musical instrument quality from low range to mid range is far more noticeable than from mid to high for most instruments, but there is often a dirt cheap end. These might even be made of plastic, either intended as a toy or an actual instrument. At this very low level, you'd be lucky if it even played half in tune and wasn't airy. Plastic recorders on the low end are decent because they're in such high supply, but most instruments aren't in demand enough to be made well in plastic to a good quality.
I believe that Squidward, as poor as he is working at a dead-end Cashier job, cannot afford to save up for even a low-mid range instrument. His dead-end job and its terrible pay with the greedy Mr Krabs isn't enough for better. His plastic, cheap, airy, or even second hand (is it damaged?) clarinet is to blame, not his skill.
Supporting evidence is everywhere but the most recent and obvious one is episode Krusty Koncessionaires when he once played a high-end clarinet intended for use in a concert and it was beautiful. "I can't believe it. This really is the best clarinet ever made!" he says after playing.
So my theory is, if he could afford an upgrade, his music wouldn't be at all so raspy.
I'm contemplating picking up the clarinet with a focus on jazz, but the fact that the clarinet seems to be *relatively* disfavored in jazz gives me some pause. Aside from Don Byron, I'm unaware of any contemporary (or even late twentieth century) jazz virtuosos who play(ed) the clarinet as their primary instrument Can anyone recommend other clarinet first jazz musicians who were active after the decline of swing music?
It's so strange to me that clarinetists were prominent during the age of New Orleans jazz and swing music but then suddenly fell out of favor in the bebop and post-bebop eras. It seems to have made somewhat of a comeback in the last 30 - 40 years or so but it's still relatively rare to find top-tier specialists in jazz. Eric Dolphy and a few other multi-instrumentalists aside, the instrument seems primarily associated with your grandpa's jazz music, reserved for bar mitzvahs or background brunch music. What happened? It's such a beautiful and versatile instrument,in my opinion.
The saxophone and Bb clarinet were about equally popular in my elementary and high school bands but the Bass Clarinet gets less exposure than the Tenor Sax while Alto Sax is almost invisible.
Another comment I read is
"The tenor saxophone range is covered by Alto Saxophone and Baritone Saxophone yet people don’t hate it."
Here is the Alto Clarinet sounding like Alto Sax
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-A3XRNs5ypM
I only found this site selling new basset horns and became intrigued
https://www.prowinds.com/product/Selmer_25/Other_Specialty_Clarinets
My band director told me he is planning on selling to Alto Clarinet to a collector because the Alto Clarinet is in terrible condition. He says the only way I can play Alto Clarinet now is if I buy my own or he saves up enough funds to order another one. I have seen Alto Clarinet's on ebay for around 700 and they look pretty good but I don't know if it would be worth it because I know how much of a tuning nightmare Alto Clarinet can be.
