About a month ago I stumbled on your fine subreddit by chance. I saw a granny square sweater and knew my life would never have meaning again without one. I taught myself to crochet and behold my granny square cardigan! imgur.com/a/1luV7YQ
👍︎ 146
📰︎ r/crochet
👤︎ u/sjvrw
📅︎ Jan 03
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Meaning of the Cardigan lyric line "Cause I knew everything when I was young"

What is the meaning behind that memorable line in Cardigan, "Cause I knew everything when I was young?" As a stand alone line, it may seem that the narrator is saying I knew everything that I needed to know when I was young. And this would seem to fit to contrast the refrain of "And when you are young, they assume you know nothing," as a sort of proving them wrong.

However, the other way to view this line is as sarcastic, as making fun of the boundless confidence of her past self. While singing, Taylor puts extra emphasis on 'everything' in the line compared to other lines with the same notes. In the context of the lyrics, this line is surrounded by phrases with linger, haunt, smoke, curse, shadows; all pointing towards a sense of regret in something ruined.

To add even more complexity to the analysis, what age range does she mean when she says young? There is one reference to hide-and-seek which is most likely a metaphor. The line 'and you'd be standin' in my front porch light' has to be either teenage or established adult timing because most people in the middle don't own a house. To contrast, the first two verses have phrase like new phone, high heels, sequin smile, black lipstick, sensual politics, drunk under a street light which indicate 18-26 years old? It gets me because you could consider any age between 0 and 30 as young. Depending on the age she references, it could add a different spin on the line.

👍︎ 19
📅︎ Aug 07 2020
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Different meaning to Cardigan...

I know her song Cardigan is about long lost love, but when I first listened to the song and watched the music video, I believed the meaning could also be about her love for music. Also, music’s love for Taylor. It always comes back to her. I have listed a few lyrics from the song, but really the “you” in the whole song can be about her love with music. Just a thought.

“I knew you’d come back to me...” “You put me on and said I was your favorite...” - here, it’s like music knows that she writes the most wonderful songs. So it always comes back to her, even when she has felt lost.

“But I knew you Playing hide-and-seek and Giving me your weekends I, I knew you Your heartbeat on the High Line Once in twenty lifetimes...” - Taylor knows music and the games she can play with it. They have a warm hearted spirit that they share.

All of the lyrics to this song tie in with her past relationships, but also, the music in her past that represented those loves. Not to mention, her passionate hug with her piano in the music video...

👍︎ 23
👤︎ u/kateconard
📅︎ Jul 30 2020
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Does cardigan mean sweater?
👍︎ 3
👤︎ u/coolguy985
📅︎ Feb 15 2020
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Just starting my first piece, a cardigan, after learning about Tunisian crochet from a friend. They suggested it because I'm normally a sewist and knitter, but I've just had wrist surgery. Tunisian crochet means I can keep my wrist fairly still. I'm off work for four weeks so this will keep me sane.
👍︎ 62
👤︎ u/A_B-S
📅︎ Jan 19
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D'you mean, you still haven't? 2021 is the year to join the growing Cardigan Patron Community! I'm beefing up my tier rewards just for you! Know more here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/46708093
👍︎ 9
📅︎ Feb 01
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Why would she buy any of these clothes? I mean, where is she wearing that dress? And WHY would she think a red knit cardigan should go with it?? And lastly, the "faux leather" leggings? She is going to be smoking hot in the drive thru line at McD's! God help the UberEats guys too.
👍︎ 35
👤︎ u/Momar310
📅︎ Nov 23 2020
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Thanksgiving in Florida means Align Tank weather 😂 it’s 82 degrees you guys. Can’t even wear the cardigan I had paired it with. Have a beautiful day y’all! (wearing In The Grooves again bc I’m l i v i n g in them this season!)
👍︎ 92
📰︎ r/lululemon
👤︎ u/meloflo
📅︎ Nov 26 2020
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it is my first time making a cardigan and i am confused, what does this mean? i am done with the first 4 rows i just don’t know what to do now. do i keep doing the first 4 rows 18 times more or something else? pls help :)
👍︎ 3
👤︎ u/mbmrmk
📅︎ Jan 19
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My face when I hear she’s coming out with yet ANOTHER Christmas song and pushing another one of her Knockoffs..I mean her Kittenish cardigan.
👍︎ 51
📅︎ Oct 21 2020
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It's fall time... which means sweater weather! Ok cardigan but same thing. 🤪
👍︎ 148
📰︎ r/TransLater
📅︎ Oct 06 2020
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Gosyo 215aw-01 loose cardigan. Can somebody help me figure out what the part circled in yellow means? I know they’re decreases but I don’t understand the notation.
👍︎ 2
📰︎ r/knitting
📅︎ Nov 20 2020
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Ways to dress up an outfit?

The last 50 threads said to add jewelry or layers or to do my hair & makeup, but idk, I still just don’t know. The idea of putting on a necklace is honestly confusing and I’m not sure what the word “cardigan” means (although the hair & makeup idea was actually very helpful because I’d never thought of that before in my life). Ideas??

👍︎ 238
📰︎ r/ffacj
📅︎ Dec 10 2019
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Hello I have been looking for this shirt for ages now and I just cant find it. I mean the one with those fish under the cardigan...can anyone help me ?
👍︎ 3
👤︎ u/KexyMatus
📅︎ Aug 31 2020
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I will overdress to grocery shop if it means I can get out of my quarantine clothes...but it was really hot outside maybe shoulda left the cardigan reddit.com/gallery/ichfoz
👍︎ 3
📰︎ r/doodles
📅︎ Aug 19 2020
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First time knitting cardigan, I need help on what shoulder shaping means

I was wondering if anyone could help me out with this pattern: https://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/empathy

Since the pattern started on the back part, I have basically completed my desired repeats, but now I'm at the shoulder shaping part. My sizing is of the second variation so there are currently 133 stitches, and the Shape Shoulders part is where I'm at, and the numbers don't really make sense to me, nor does shaping shoulders.

Pic of what it looks like, it's knit from bottom to the top: https://imgur.com/a/uPf73d0

I'm not too sure if I even understand shoulder shaping after watching a bunch of youtube videos, but it seems like most videos are to use non-stepladder variations, but I don't even get how to do a stepladder in this pattern since the cast off stitch numbers seem to not make sense.

Thanks in advance!! Sorry for the long post, I've been confused for a week already.

👍︎ 5
📰︎ r/knitting
👤︎ u/jesseissor
📅︎ Apr 22 2020
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Spring Time Means Cardigan Time youtube.com/watch?v=UIWAd…
👍︎ 8
👤︎ u/KenTries
📅︎ Apr 13 2020
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Pattern help: I’m a newbie knitting a baby cardigan and trying to do this bit. What does it mean? I have 49 stitches currently. (I’ll be doing the third number in, so 8, 33, 8, 17, and 17).
👍︎ 2
📰︎ r/knitting
📅︎ Mar 09 2020
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Hey guys so I’m thinking about picking this little girl up but have a few questions. She is registered as an “American corgi” and her dad was a cardigan and her mom was a pen role but she looks 100% like a pembroke to me? Also if she’s a “Dm carrier” that doesn’t mean she’ll get it down the line?
👍︎ 18
📰︎ r/corgi
👤︎ u/z34pat
📅︎ Feb 11 2020
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SPRING MEANS CARDIGANS youtube.com/watch?v=UIWAd…
👍︎ 16
👤︎ u/KenTries
📅︎ Apr 13 2020
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I'm too poor for these Lazy Oaf cardigans IRL but that doesn't mean my villager should miss out!
👍︎ 4
👤︎ u/LumaBones
📅︎ Apr 30 2020
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Where can i find this cardigan kurts wearing?(btw i dont mean the real sold one)
👍︎ 49
📰︎ r/Nirvana
👤︎ u/DarkoFan88
📅︎ Jul 22 2019
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[ART]Spring Means Cardigan Time youtube.com/watch?v=UIWAd…
👍︎ 2
📰︎ r/streetwear
👤︎ u/KenTries
📅︎ Apr 13 2020
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Forced rest after a medical procedure means lots of progress on my daughter's cardigan. (Pattern in comments.)
👍︎ 63
📰︎ r/crochet
📅︎ Apr 04 2019
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[FINDS / MINI-REVIEWS] It Came, I Saw, It Slayed: A List of My Very Best AE and DHG Finds To-Date – The Sweaters Edition

Fellow RepLadies! Long time mostly-lurker-and-occasional-commenter, first time original poster here! I’d like to begin with gratitude: your “finds” have brought me so much joy, and so many packages to my doorstep (I honestly don’t want to know what my postman thinks of me!!); your OOTD photos have brought me so much inspiration (and even more packages). Without you, I would not know of the NWBIG Ballon Bleu; without you, I would not know Miss Chen. My rep knowledge and wardrobe have come a long way with your tutelage and insight. I want to do my part to contribute to this wonderful community; to help the next generation of RepLady, these young whipper-snappers just coming into their own in this wild west replandia; and to thank y’all OG RepLadies for your rep wisdom which has helped pave the way. And so I thought that maybe sharing a list of my very best “finds” from AE and DHG over the years, the purchases that I’ve loved the most to date, would be one way to stand both in service to, and appreciation of, this community.

Because my list of favorite things is quite long (looking back on my past purchases, I’m actually the tiniest bit terrified of how much money I’ve spent! But that is another conversation for another time), I’ve divided it up into posts that cover different item/clothing categories. This inaugural post covers my top finds in SWEATERS, and includes some notes on why each item made the list. The following is a glossary of my frequently-used terminology in said notes:

Branded: means that the brand is clearly visible on the item, in the places where it is supposed to be as determined by comparison to the authentic…it is stamped, embroidered, woven, etc., into/onto the product in whatever way the branding that is true to the authentic is. Note also that with some of the clothing items I list, they may be branded on the exterior, but lack a sewn-in branded label on the interior (unlike the authentic version that would have a branded sewn-in label)…which is why, for such clothing, I separately specify whether the “Branded” specification also includes a branded sewn-in label.

Branded Sewn-in Label: means that there is a branded label that is sewn-in/sewn-on. It’s oddly important to me, on an emotional basis that I have not yet fully unpacked with my therapist, that reps include this sort of attention to detail, which is why I specify it for those of you who may feel the same way (and if you do feel the same and you have

... keep reading on reddit ➡

👍︎ 162
📰︎ r/RepLadies
👤︎ u/Cocoabelle
📅︎ Feb 22
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Its finished!!! This cardigan came out gorgeous and I cant wait to have the pattern done, but that just means I'll make a second to work out kinks in my pattern writing.
👍︎ 102
📰︎ r/crochet
👤︎ u/dtshockney
📅︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
DAE hate what the kids are doing these days?

https://imgur.com/a/2CUHsJu  It’s honestly hostile and threatening to my sense of fashion.

You’ve all seen it. All the influencers and TikTok-ers have started doing it as recently as this month. My Gen Z co-workers have informed me that it’s been in style for a few years now, but as a person who is 32 years old and therefore writing to you from an old folks’ home, I only noticed yesterday and I am OUTRAGED. This 👏 is ✏️ not 👏 the 👏 90s 🤝 ! 👏 How DARE fashion be cyclical! High schoolers today have NO right to wear what I was wearing when I was in high school!

We are supposed to learn from our mistakes, people! I, personally, have moved on! Experience has taught me which clothes are good and which clothes deserve to be hauled out to Mordor and thrown into the fires of Mt. Doom! It’s not like every fashion style has pros and cons ffs. Fashion 👋 and 👏 comfort 👏 are 👏 not 🌭 subjective 👏 ! 🐛 ! 👏

Gen Z, take some advice from your older (yet still attractive) and wiser sister.

Things you are not allowed to enjoy because I got made fun of for it:

  • Champion brand clothing
  • Frosty blue eyeshadow
  • Having a big butt
  • Thick eyebrows
  • Visible socks, especially with non-sneaker shoes of any genre

Things you are not allowed to have because at some point it was the only thing for sale and I hated it:

  • Bell-bottom jeans
  • Non-stretch jeans
  • Ripped jeans
  • Seriously, there were only two stores in the mall that had jeans that fit me, and one of them was Steve and Barry’s, whose $7 stretch jeans came pre-puckered so the whole school knew you were cheap as fuck. There were no options. You WOULD wear what was in fashion that year, even if it meant Arizona Jeans Co. bedazzling your bubble butt for you so the kids at school could mock you for not being literally Kate Moss. We struggled, Gen Z. We STRUGGLED.
  • Note to my fellow Millenials: have we killed shopping malls yet? Because I have a vendetta

Things you are not allowed to like because everyone thought it was stupid it (even though we all did it anyway):

  • Fanny packs/bum bags
  • Foundation lips
  • Listening to 90s-00s pop music
  • Teeny tiny itty bitty backpacks
  • Visible lip liner, not even blended, just literally a line on your lips

Things you are not allowed to have because I had it, loved it, and am now totally over it forever and always til the end of time:

  • Black eyeliner applied thickly and uniformly around the entire eye, including the waterline
... keep reading on reddit ➡

👍︎ 803
📰︎ r/ffacj
📅︎ Feb 15
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An old guy hired me to manage his life-sized dollhouse, but some of the occupants are starting to freak me out

The ad was bizarre but straightforward enough.

Late fifties male seeks woman in twenties to manage large-scale dollhouse

  • Candidate needs to maintain a household of eleven Real Dolls by tending to the daily wardrobe, grooming, and other needs of the dolls.
  • Nothing inappropriate.
  • $250 paid in cash at the end of every shift.

A lot of women would be put off by that ad, but not me. Let’s just say, I’ve seen some shit in my life. I was finally starting to dig myself out of a trash pile of childhood trauma by getting into a good college, when the reality of tuition fees set in. I needed a part-time job to stay afloat, and creepy sex doll man would have to be it.

I tried calling the number on the ad, but nobody picked up. A few minutes later I got a text asking my name, age, and times of availability. Another text later, I was asked to start at nine the following day. I was surprised at the ease of the interview, if you could even call it that, but I didn’t feel like questioning it. Whatever the guy’s deal was, that was his business, not mine. As long as he didn’t breach any boundaries and paid me on time, we’d get along just fine.

I wasn’t stupid, though. I called my cousin Ronnie and told him what was going on and where I’d be the next day. Ronnie sighed but didn’t question my decision. We grew up with the same shitty guardians, and he knew I could handle myself.

“Just be careful, Lu,” he said at the end of the call, “pack the bag, okay?”

“Of course, Ronnie,” I smiled into the phone, “I’ll be in touch if anything happens.”

‘The bag’ was a backpack of essentials for any kid that was unfortunate enough to grow up in a neighborhood like mine. My bag contained pepper spray, a swiss army knife, drinking water, a couple of protein bars, and a cheap disposable phone with Ronnie’s number saved in contacts. I hoped for the best but prepared for the worst. Always.

I was at the given address at exactly 9 o’clock the next morning.

The house was breathtaking. A tall, asymmetrical two-story with whitewash walls and a multifaceted roof. The windows were different sizes and shapes, the panes a charming baby blue with glass that sparkled like morning dew on grass. I walked up the cobblestone path, admiring the clean-cut lawn and tulip flower beds that lined the perimeter.

Maybe this won’t be so bad, I thought, climbing the porch steps.

I couldn’t find a doorbell, only a large bronze knocker designed to look like some sort of horned creature, possi

... keep reading on reddit ➡

👍︎ 5k
📰︎ r/nosleep
👤︎ u/peculi_dar
📅︎ Feb 05
🚨︎ report
Meanings and origins of all the Arknights Operator names!

I already did one of these about 10 months ago, but we've gotten a lot of new operators since then.

If you have any comments or tips, please put them in the comments! I will incorporate them asap.

12F „12F? That was the day I came to this world. You could say it's my birthday.” 12F is the producer's birthday: 1991.02.16→19910216(dec)→12FCE48→12F.

Aak Named in reference to the Sanskrit term A-un, with Hung being the other half.

Absinthe Named after the spirit of the same name. Absinthe (the spirit) has the reputation to be drunk by good willing, but self-destructive people, like van Gogh, Edgar Allan Poe, and Oscar Wilde.

Adnachiel Named after the angel of truth and wisdom.

Ambriel Named after the angel of communication and protection.

Amiya Named after the Hebrew "àmijah", which means "my mother is Jah" aka "my mother is Jéhovah". It litterally makes Amyia a pseudo-Messiah.

Angelina Angelina originates from the Greek αγγελος, “messenger”.

Ansel The name Ansel may be from Dr. Howard C. Ansel. Dr. Ansel worked in Pharmacy of University of Georgia. One of his famous books is Ansel's Pharmaceutical Dosage Forms and Drug Delivery Systems, a classic pharmacy book.

Asbestos Named after the material of similar name. The operator’s prototype a fire salamander, mirroring the fire resistant properties of the mineral. Her arts damage mitigation could be another nod to this fact.

Astesia Her name is probably derived from aster (Ancient Greek for “star”).

Ayerscape Ayerscarpe is made up of two words: Ayers (Rock) and Scarp (meaning a steep slope, short for enscarpement) Ayers is definitely a reference to Ayers Rock, which is a large sandstone rock formation in the southern part of the Northern Territory in central Australia. It is listed as a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

Bagpipe Named after the famous instrument of Scottish origin.

Beagle Named after the race of small hound.

Beehunter Named after the old English "beowulf", translated as "beehunter", meaning bear.

Beeswax Named after the naturally produced wax by honey bees. The material is used in a variety of cosmetics, especially polish. The operator probably uses it to keep her horns shiny and beautiful.

Bibeak Maybe meaning “two-beaks”, which could refer to her two swords.

Bison Named after the north American animal.

Blaze A blaze is “a very large or fiercely burning fire”, which descr

... keep reading on reddit ➡

👍︎ 413
📰︎ r/arknights
👤︎ u/Moorbote
📅︎ Jan 21
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Popheads Album of the Year #30: Taylor Swift - Folklore

Artist: Taylor Swift

Album: folklore

Released: July 24, 2020

Label: Republic

Listen: Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube / TIDAL


Most of you probably know who Taylor Alison Swift is, whether you voluntarily learned it or not. Born on December 13, 1989, two numbers that will come back in her music a lot, she was born in West Reading, Pennsylvania. As a young girl, she was already interested in music and singing, her parents named her after singer-songwriter James Taylor after all. She was writing songs since she was 10 years old and moved to Nashville and started performing by 11. She started recording demos and meeting with executives from her tween to early teen years. Eventually, she met Scott Borchetta, the owner of a brand new label called Big Machine Records and wanted to make Taylor the first artist signed to him, which the 14 year old agreed to.

Taylor Swift released her first studio album, Taylor Swift in 2006 at age 16. The album got small success at first, but eventually songs like ‘Teardrops on My Guitar’ became hits on the Billboard Hot 100. Her next two albums, Fearless and Speak Now, became even bigger, getting top 10 hits and the former winning the Grammy’s Album of the Year award. She made a bigger pivot to pop music instead of country as her songs were getting bigger & bigger and her fanbase was growing exceedingly fast for a country act. Her next album, Red, was an experimental album for her. It featured her first singles that were 100% pop, and some of her biggest songs yet. In 2014, she released 1989, her biggest album with 5 top 10 hits, and the album that cemented her turn into pure, sugary pop, but still didn’t compromise her sharp writing. In 2016, some phone call was released that about being a bitch or something, idk I’ve never seen the zimmerman telegram. Taylor was against Germany trying to ally with Mexico in WWI, so in 2017 she rele

... keep reading on reddit ➡

👍︎ 252
📰︎ r/popheads
👤︎ u/ImADudeDuh
📅︎ Jan 30
🚨︎ report
A 30 year old high school teacher's perspective on this sub and reps in general

So I'm 30 and teach in a lower income HS. I've been in the game a while. I've lurked this sub for years. Recently, I've gotten back into reps again and have been reading this sub a lot. I have had a few observations I thought might be interesting and constructive.

  • For context, I was a pretty obnoxious hypebeast back in college. Remember the guy with the Obey hoody and the Levi STF's wearing the dunk highs? Okay, maybe you're 16 and you don't have a clue what I mean, but if you do, I was your man. I rocked the vans back when vans were still considered pretty low-tier hype. I missed out on the whole Yeezy/FOG/OW craze. By the time anyone knew what a Pirate Black was, I was teaching 12th graders.
  • I still delve into fashion pretty heavily. But I traded the hoodies for cardigans and blazers. Traded the Levis for suit pants and chinos. A lot of Alden and Allen Edmonds on my feet these days. I still rock sneakers and such when I can get away with it. Lots of NB, certain Nike models, and Common Projects.
  • Navigating this sub is tough for me. I scroll a lot. I scroll a lot. I have no use for Bape, or FOG, or Kanye tees or Dunks or AF1's anymore. I've far outgrown those. I get the happy shakes every time I spot a nice New Balance QC with a W2C link. I can still rock Nike Blazers and LDwaffles. Overall, the demographic of this sub is far removed from the type of drip I'm after. I get jealous that my style is too dressed up to rock some of these crazy Dunk lows.
  • I know what you guys are wanting to ask me. Actually, I'm sure you have a few questions.
  1. Have you ever spotted a kid with reps? Every day. It's almost always Yeezy 350's. Honestly, I don't even wear Yeezy, but the fakes you see here are so bad that it's an instant callout. Remember.... it's a low income school. These kids are probably getting these fakes from some suspect Insta accounts or AliExpress. I do see a lot of legit 350's and a lot of AF1. AF1 is basically the flavor of this school, especially with the girls. Dunks haven't caught on here yet, at all. We have 900 kids at this school and I can count over 40 pairs of all white AF1's a day.
  2. Have you ever called a kid out? If you've taught before, or even been in a HS, you know why this is a horrible idea. I played a student at 2K once after school and basically murdered his whole team. The kid took shit about it around school for weeks. It was bully season. I felt awful. Can you imagine a student getting called out by a te
... keep reading on reddit ➡

👍︎ 436
📅︎ Feb 26
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The double standard, and how it has affected me this week.

So I go to a private high school that has resumed classes. We sit 6 ft apart and there are two shifts for class. A day shift, and an afternoon shit. So we don’t really go to different class rooms instead the teachers come to the same classroom for math, history, and English. And we the students go to a different classroom for chem ( lab).

There is a required uniform. The boys have to wear khaki pants with a white button down shirt and a tie and cardigan. The girls where a skirt, white button down shirt and like a cardigan.

For English class the teacher made us put our desks in a circle, it was kind of a disaster with the 6 foot spacing we get in the circle with the proper spacing and with my luck I and directly across for the girl with the biggest boobs in the school. I mean she flaunts them, she never wears her cardigan and I’m pretty sure she wears a shirt size to small bc the buttons are like stretched, on top of that she leaves the top buttons unbuttoned exposing cleavage. I have no problem with it. But she is never reprimanded, no one ever says anything to her ( like teachers) to be honest I feel like some of the male teachers even flirt with her.

So I’m sitting across from her, obviously I become hard. no problem, I have time before class ends. I just kinda cross my legs and before the class is over I flex my thighs ( learned that here, thanks 👍) does the trick. We put the desk back before we head to chem lap, and I notice the teacher looking at me. Like a scolding look on her face. The bell rings and before i am able to go she calls me over to the desk, hands me a note and tells me to go to the dean right away. I ask her why she tells me to just go.

I look down and i notice that my erection had gone through the flap in my boxers and my flaccid penis was imprinted on my pants, relatively obvious I guess, I am circumcised and the head of my penis is large, even flaccid so the mushroom imprint was probably the most obvious, and my flaccid length is about 5”. I stop in the bathroom put it back in my boxers and go to the dean.

The dean then informs me he just spoken with my teacher and sits me down and says that it’s perfectly normal to get erections in class, and when I go to the bathroom use my cardigan to cover my erection, enter a stall and wait till it goes away. but under no circumstances can I be walking around a classroom with an erection, it is crude and nobody wants to see that. On top of that it is not funny and my peers will loos

... keep reading on reddit ➡

👍︎ 796
📅︎ Feb 03
🚨︎ report
Death & Floral fragrance review of 19 scents

Death & Floral - Black Friday '20 & Winter '21

This review is long and long overdue, but I’ve been spending a lot of time getting to know these scents and figuring out what works for me, and I'm excited to share what I've learned. Before I review the actual products, I want to highlight the above-and-beyond customer service that D&F has shown again and again. Any time I’ve asked a question via the chat on the website, I’ve gotten a friendly and helpful response within minutes (can’t be easy for an indie company, I’m sure!) and they’ve always honored my requests down to the detail. I made a large order for Black Friday, but a lot of the scents I picked out really didn’t work for me. I discovered that the ones I didn’t like had either heavy musk or strong sweetness (which I do like on their own, but that’s the weird thing about perfume—it may work for your nose, but not on your skin). With fresh knowledge and a better understanding of my skin chemistry, I returned to the chat to ask for recommendations. They stayed and chatted with me for almost an hour! Based on what I said I didn’t like (strong musk and sticky sugar) and what I do like (fruit, citrus, and light sweetness) they picked out Painted Pears, Color Me Blood Orange, Honeycomb, and No Nukes Smog Spray. I can say, hands down, these recommendations were 100% spot on. This was such a great experience, and I don’t think I’ll ever want to pick out scents on my own again! I feel so fancy with my personally-curated fragrances, and they all work so well on my skin. I’m going to add the scents that didn’t work for me to my next donation to Project Beauty Share, and hope they end up in the hands of someone who will love them.

Another thing that I’ve learned after getting to know these fragrances is that D&F seems to have a signature note that appears in most (but definitely not all) of their scents. You know how all Lush products smell like Lush, regardless of what scent the product itself actually is? It’s the same phenomenon happening here. In my opinion, the D&F signature scent is botanical and musky—like the basement of a flower shop. It’s a blend of things fresh and old, which is a beautiful, literal representation of the name, Death & Floral.

  • Color Me Blood Orange - fresh Italian orange blood blended with autumnal spices and honeysuckle

This was my absolute favorite, and is the scent I keep coming back to. It’s fresh and clean, barely

... keep reading on reddit ➡

👍︎ 60
📅︎ Feb 10
🚨︎ report
Counting Down the 100 Best-Written Taylor Swift Songs

Part 1: #170-145 ✍🏻 Part 2: #144-119 ✍🏻 Part 3: #118-101

100. Christmas Tree Farm

Best line: My winter nights are taken up by static

Remember when Taylor said she wasn't sure if she could write a happy love song like "Perfect" or "Thinking Out Loud"? (Seriously, does anyone remember? 'Cause I googled and got nothing, but I swear I remember that.) And then in 2019 she dropped "Lover," "Paper Rings," and this, because why prove yourself once when you can go for the Triple Crown?

Swiftian™ tropes: Christmas, locational specificity, nostalgia for an idyllic upbringing, childhood innocence, sartorial specificity, being able to weather anything as long as you've got your special someone

99. I Knew You Were Trouble

Best line: There are a few solid contenders, but I'm gonna give it to the one-two punch of And he's long gone when he's next to me and He was long gone when he met me

Putting aside all questions of autobiography, this feels like a "Dear John" prequel. In that song, the refrain "I should've known" becomes "You should've known" in the final chorus, a rejection of victims' tendency to self-blame that "I Knew You Were Trouble" seems paradoxically to embrace, if slightly sarcastically. But maybe that's just me falling into the trap I mentioned re: "I Almost Do," expecting life to progress in neat steps, one after another, no backtracking and no going in circles. Coming to terms with a negative life event on Monday only to get upset about it all over again on Tuesday—probably triggered by some minor, totally unrelated mishap—feels truer to the human experience than one cathartic moment followed by smooth sailing forever. But maybe I'm just bad at therapy.

Swiftian™ tropes: once upon a time (ironic edition), insouciant suitors, being morally wronged, melodrama (the saddest fear that comes creepin' in the bridge is "what if my ex is a psychopath incapable of experiencing human love?" 😔)

98. Afterglow

Best line: I lived like an island, punished you with silence, went off like sirens, just crying

A bit over-reliant on metaphor and abstraction, but effectively captures the regret and guilt of knowing you've hurt someo

... keep reading on reddit ➡

👍︎ 57
👤︎ u/ladililn
📅︎ Jan 31
🚨︎ report
2020 Ultimate Ultimate Rate (The Weeknd/Dua/Gaga/Taylor)

Hello to all of the capitalists, cocaine connoisseurs, ethnonationalists, and Oreo fans joining us today. Today we begin one of the biggest, most controversial, and most sonically diverse rates r/popheads has ever taken on. Notably, popheads voted to include a man amongst a sea of white pop girls, and also folklore is here.

Last year, as many have noted, was perhaps not the world’s best. However, what stayed good from January 1st until December 31st was the pop music (except for Justin Bieber’s Changes, but we can ignore that for now). Floods of beloved comebacks, surprise releases, and out-of-nowhere rises to acclaim pervaded the year, and made everything that much more bearable for us. Many of these albums were intended for the dance floor, but every one of them has provided a great sense of escapism during a year where most people needed exactly that. Dua Lipa, Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and The Weeknd all released year defining, career reinvigorating albums that captivated the general public and pop fans alike. So my cohosts (the brilliant u/ignitethephoenix and u/hikkaru) and I want to invite you to celebrate them all in one place, and stage a friendly, not at all bloody competition to see which artist and what song comes out on top.

If you’re as fucking illiterate as I am and you’ve done a few of these rates already, you can start rating right here:

Spotify & Apple Music playlists

Pastebin Ballot

[Submission Link](https://old.reddit.com/message/compose?to=akanewasright&subject=Ultimate%20Ultimate%20Rate&message=Username%3A%0A%0AAlbum%3A%20After%20Hours%0A%0AAlone%20Again%3A%0A%0AToo%20Late%3A%0A%0AHardest%20To%20Love%3A%0A%0AScared%20To%20Live%3A%0A%0ASnowchild%3A%0A%0AEscape%20From%20L.A.%3A%0A%0AHeartless%3A%0A%0AFaith%3A%0A%0ABlinding%20Lights%3A%0A%0AIn%20Your%20Eyes%3A%0A%0ASave%20Your%20Tears%3A%0A%0ARepeat%20After%20Me%3A%0A%0AAfter%20Hours%3A%0A%0AUntil%20I%20Bleed%20Out%3A%0A%0ANothing%20Compares%3A%0A%0AMissed%20You%3A%0A%0AFinal%20Lullaby%3A%0A%0AAlbum%3A%20Future%20Nostalgia%3A%0A%0AFuture%20Nostalgia%3A%0A%0ADon%E2

... keep reading on reddit ➡

👍︎ 178
📰︎ r/popheads
📅︎ Feb 02
🚨︎ report
Simpler take on the Cardigan Metaphor.. and why it damns James

Disclaimer: I know I’m late to the love triangle discourse

I’ve always took the metaphor of Cardigan to mean James did her wrong but not for the “put me on” phrasing reason everyone takes it for.

A cardigan is a sweater we wear in Autumn when things are finally cold - we don’t wear it in the heat and especially not in summer.

As we know August and James fooled around “all summer long”. He says he dreamt of Betty all summer but she feels differently.

Now when school starts up again (autumn), James comes to apologize to Betty. He realizes Betty is the one for him. Betty however feels like he left her like she was out of season and unneeded, much like a Cardigan would be worthless and forgotten or “under someone’s bed” would be over the summer.

James is the one who made her feel like she was under someone’s bed in the first place- he wasn’t a hero.

Now that school has started and autumn comes around, he doesn’t need August girl bc it simply doesn’t suit him anymore. He “put her on and said I was your favorite” after forgetting about Betty and pushing her memory “under the bed”, all summer long.

He quite literally “put her on” meaning he wanted her again in autumn/school time, I don’t think it’s the double meaning “put her on” meaning to trick.

She could have used any other piece of clothing but she used a cardigan specifically because it serves the functionality of being useful in autumn but worthless in summer.

👍︎ 202
📅︎ Jan 12
🚨︎ report
Kibbe-friendly capsule/versatile wardrobe for practical reasons?

(I edited the post somewhat to make my point clearer - thanks to everyone who has replied so far <3)

I would like to talk about two specific ways to build capsule wardrobes/coordinated wardrobes for practicality reasons but in a "Kibbe-friendly" way, i.e. incorporating head-to-toe (HTT) looks. I illustrate this with my personal situation, but I think the underlying issue generalizes quite well.

I know that DK is no fan of capsule wardrobes (meaning 30ish pieces where "everything goes with everything" for now). From what I have gathered so far this is because he mainly thinks in complete reeeally well-coordinated head-to-toe looks. I know from experience that this is not necessarily what you get out of a capsule -- a handful of great outfits for sure, but the majority is either a bit samey, if one sticks with a "style uniform", or do coordinate well, but not in the great, "wow-effecty way" David is aiming for. (Please correct me, if I got David's point wrong here. I have not had the time yet, to read through enough of his writing to be super confident in my portrayal of his point.)

That being said, I find the "capsule way of thinking" quite helpful, especially the ways to construct smaller capsules as Fernanda from Approximately Right and Christie Ressel on Youtube propose. I will come to why in a second, for now briefly on their systems, so this post is self-contained:

  • Fernanda goes with 5-4-3-2-1 (5 tops (t-shirts, tanktops, blouses, depending on the climate thin long sleeves), 4 bottoms (skirts, jeans, pants, shorts), 3 toppers (thin jackets, blazers, pullovers, cardigans), 2 pairs of shoes and 1 "special item" (an accessory or anything in the other categories. She often puts jumpsuits or dresses in this category, too. I personally count them as what I wear them as, if I combine them with another piece, e.g., as a bottom, if I tend to wear pullovers on top). Most pieces are supposed to go with most pieces, but not necessarily everything with everything.
  • Christie proposes small modules of six pieces (3 tops, 2 bottoms and 1 topper) that coordinate really well with each other. She suggests using a patterned piece as a base to get a coherent color scheme for the module -- although this is not a must. She is not a minimalist (neither in style, nor in closet space), so she the accessories she adds typically round the outfits quite nicely. She suggests to use several modules to build a capsule, if that is what you want, but personally mainly seems
... keep reading on reddit ➡

👍︎ 13
📰︎ r/Kibbe
📅︎ Feb 19
🚨︎ report
[L] my life story. I’m (16F) very low right now. I’m going to my 7th psych ward soon.

December sixteen, two thousand and four. My fucking birthday. Woo, I guess. No, not woo. Every fucking year. December sixteenth. Two thousand and five Two thousand and Six Two thousand and Seven Two thousand and Eight And so on. I become a year older. Meaning I have been on this earth for another Three hundred and sixty five Days. And I resent it Every Fucking time. Happy birthdays, Cake, Gifts All to celebrate another year I’ve failed To kill myself.

Another year of pain Corruption And suffering.

Another year. These words are exhausting to write.

Two thousand and four. My parents Tried and had me Brown hair Brown eyes A toothless, wholesome smile Little did they know That their daughter Would lose that glistening glint in her eyes In all But A Matter of Time.

I was different. I didn’t play much. I just had this system And if it was broken - if my building blocks weren’t in the right order For example I would break down. Screaming, crying What my parents passed off as a temper tantrum.

A while later I started school. And I met a girl. Blonde hair, blue eyes And little did I know, she would change my life for the better. She was my only friend. And I didn’t feel different around her. I could just be...me. Without having to worry about what she would think, because Frankly - She didn’t care. She didn’t think me weird. She treated me like a normal person. And it’s the most freeing feeling I’ve ever damn felt.


My sister was born. I loved her with all my heart and still do.

We fought. We laughed. We cried. But soon it came crashing down.

My parents divorced. I don’t know what year. I don’t remember it happening, either. Then again, when do I ever remember my “childhood?”

Not now, that’s for sure.

I was diagnosed with autism at 7. But I hadn’t been told yet.

My first meltdown. Again, I don’t remember much. I was seven. It was our aunties wedding. I misbehaved and couldn’t go to the party after.

So I pulled a knife, holding it to my stomach and pointing it at my mum, and sister Who was sobbing And I felt different.

So, the demise i mentioned earlier? Well, the person who started it all

Seemed innocent at first. To my naïve mindset, anyway I don’t remember much. I do remember he had curly short black hair And blue - grey eyes I got lost in Every single time. He was the only person in my whole life I felt comfortable making eye contact with. Maybe that’s why I hate it now. Maybe that’s why I now also have a thing

... keep reading on reddit ➡

👍︎ 68
📰︎ r/KindVoice
📅︎ Feb 02
🚨︎ report
Brand Tips Pt. 2: Why you should do preorders

A followup to my post from last week where I shared my perspective on why restocks are important. I'm just gonna copy the intro from there

Intro: So this is a series I've been meaning to do for a while and I've finally got off my butt to start it. Basically the plan is to give a bunch of general tips and advice to help out the other small brands here.

A little bit of background on me. I've run Steady Hands for the past 4 years (started December 2016) and grown it from working solo out of my bedroom at home, to having a 2000sqft warehouse, 2 employees, and 32k legit followers on Instagram(never bought or botted).

I'm by no means an expert on everything I say, but I've been doing this as my full time job for about 3 years now and have been rather successful in doing so. Like I said, not an expert but I'm pretty confident in what I'm talking about.

Topic: I'm gonna touch on the importance of preorders and why they're probably the single biggest thing for growing your brand.

That might seem like an overstatement, but I genuinely believe it's true. There are a lot of factors that can help you grow, but the preorders allow for such open and (almost) limitless expansion. If you don't do them you're really limiting yourself.

To clarify before I go any further, I'm not going to be talking about why you should exclusively do preorders, or why you should have preorders on your first drop to mitigate risk. I'm actually against both of those things. Instead I'm going to talk about why opening preorders on popular items is extremely important.

This idea kinda compounds on the "Why you should restock" post so give that a read before if you haven't.

Let's start with an example again. Lets say you put in the work, release your brand new hoodie, stock 45 pieces and wow, they sell out the first night. That's fantastic! Maybe the piece was particularly great, maybe your Facebook ad campaign did well, or you had a viral tiktok that brought 10x the amount of attention a piece might usually have to this new one.

The reason doesn't matter, the important thing is that the demand for this piece far outweighs your supply. So what do you do? Well you could and should restock the piece as soon as possible, but that won't best capitalize on th

... keep reading on reddit ➡

👍︎ 74
👤︎ u/Bleblebob
📅︎ Jan 11
🚨︎ report
Taylor Swift - folklore (2020) | RESULTS

exile is in exile

which means

august is the WINNER


Rank Song Votes Against Percentage Runner-up
1st august 89/206 votes 43.2%
2nd exile 117/206 votes 56.8%
3rd betty 65/160 votes 40.6% 34.4%(55/160)
4th seven 42/121 votes 34.7% 30.6%(37/121)
5th cardigan 39/130 votes 30% 23.8%(31/130)
6th the 1 38/136 votes 27.9% 20.6%(28/136)
7th my tears ricochet 31/127 votes 24.4% 20.5%(26/127)
8th invisible string 35/129 votes 27.1% 16.3%(21/129)
9th the last great american dynasty 25/129 votes 19.4% 17.8%(23/129)
10th this is me trying 22/121 votes 18.2% 14%(17/121)
11th mirrorball 30/140 votes 21.4% 20.7%(29/140)
12th illicit affairs 39/129 votes 30.2% 14.7%(19/129)
13th peace 45/107 votes 42.1% 23.4%(25/107)
14th mad woman 46/135 votes 34.1% 24.4%(33/135)
15th the lakes 30/108 votes 27.8% 22.2%(24/108)
16th hoax 30/137 votes 21.9% 18.2%(25/137)
17th epiphany 21/97 votes 21.6% 18.6%(18/97)









join our discord!

👍︎ 58
👤︎ u/Gligar15
📅︎ Feb 17
🚨︎ report
Casual outfit for Talbott

Alright, am I the only one who wants a bird-boi to have some normal clothes, not just his robes? I mean, when we go on dates he looks sooo off topic in his school uniform. I literally imagine him wearing some casual stuff like ripped jeans, linen t-shirt and a cardigan. Cardigans were just made for him in my opinion. And obviously his beautiful >!swan feather necklace!< and bracelets. Leave your thoughts below, really wanna know how you imagine his casual outfit))

👍︎ 66
📅︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
2 Sisters and 1 Brother Album

Edit: Update at the bottom!!

Okay hear me out. I love all the fan theories and everyone is saying Taylor is going to release a third album but I disagree.

Now I’m not saying there won’t be a third album, but I think it won’t be released by Taylor, but instead Big Red Machine.

She has two cats, female, and one male. So how beautiful to close out the trio by her releasing her two albums from a female perspective and then the third by Aaron and Bon Iver’s group, Big Red Machine.

This goes further when you look at the Cardigans, the scrunchies, the candles, etc. she has released the Green album and the Blue album all that’s left is RED. big RED machine.

Plus I think it will be a nod to her first rewritten album... RED.


Thank you for coming to my TAYLOR talk!

I’m going back down the rabbit hole!

Edit u/cutiepie538 mentioned that the folklore candle was red, which then updates this theory to how they are all tied together then!

folklore candle red, sweater blue, scrunchie green

evermore candle green, sweater red (which goes with her album art), scrunchie blue.

Which means BRM’s album would be candle blue, sweater green and scrunchie RED. And then it would tie in her Red Album rewrite!

Could be?!

Edit 2: also on Twitter, folklore the ts is red and for evermore it’s green... meaning there has to be a blue!!!!

👍︎ 289
📅︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
"What do you mean I can't return a cardigan I bought 3 YEARS ago because the threads came loose in the wash?!"

I work at a womenswear shop in a big city, in the really really wealthy area of said city. So, I basically have to smile and be nice to world's meanest human beings every day.

The other day a lady came in wearing a cardigan we sold three summers ago. She demanded a refund for her item because, she said as she took it off angrily, the threads on the edges started fraying. I smiled, took the cardigan from her, and asked her if she's washed it. She said, "Duh I wash it, do I look dirty to you?"

I told her no, I just wanted to know how she cared for it. I told her our returns policy, blah blah blah, I'm so sorry this happened but unfortunately I can't do anything because it's been worn and washed, and the damage is normal wear and tear.

Then, just because I'm an idiot, I decided to offer her an exchange for the last sale price the item went for (before it was discontinued because it was THREE YEARS AGO). I expected her to say thank you or SOMETHING, but she literally started screaming at me that "she spends a lot of money here and she demands a FULL refund".

I tell her I need a moment to speak to my manager. I ask her to wait a few minutes and I will find her when I have sorted this out. She proceeds to walk to the centre of the store where we have three wide steps down to a lower part in the back of the store. The steps are about 3.5 feet wide, and not very high. As I'm walking to the back I hear a loud thud, and I turn around to see her laying in the middle of the steps holding her leg. I run over and ask if she needs any help, (she was like 30, not an old lady, so I didn't offer to fucking carry her) and she just starts berating me telling me she is going to sue this store for negligence and for the staff's "idiocy".

My boss comes out, argues with her for about 40 minutes more, and then- this part will haunt me for life- SHE GIVES THIS BITCH A FULL REFUND FOR HER DAMN CARDIGAN.

Thus, she is rewarded for acting like a total fucking lunatic and will continue to behave this way for life. Why, God?!

👍︎ 156
👤︎ u/kfholden
📅︎ Jun 20 2014
🚨︎ report
Alter Operators

So, I have been thinking with the recent reveal of Lava and her new alter, along with the older version of Kroos, that was seen.

If this is going to happen for the other 3 stars like Cardigan, Orchid, Catapult, etc then this means the devs are phasing out the 3 stars.

Personally I think this could be a great thing!

I'd love to see their growth, what do you all think?

👍︎ 55
📰︎ r/arknights
👤︎ u/Jinxy31
📅︎ Feb 08
🚨︎ report
Ranking Every Taylor Swift Song from Happiest to Saddest

I was growing tired of making typical ‘best to worst’ rankings for songs, so I tried to rank every Taylor song from most happy to most sad! A few things to note before the list. Firstly, I’m only including songs from Taylor’s main nine studio albums. Secondly, I used three different factors to determine where to rank each song.

Lyrically, how depressing or uplifting is the song’s message?

Sonically, how somber or upbeat is the instrumentation?

Vocally, which emotions do Taylor exude throughout the song?

Sad and happy are vague, broad terms so this is a subjective list with loads of bias and I’d love to hear any opinions on what you’d change!

  1. Paper Rings
  2. 22
  3. Stay Stay Stay
  4. Our Song
  5. Shake It Off
  6. ME!
  7. I’m Only Me When I’m With You
  8. Lover
  9. Starlight
  10. Mine
  11. King Of My Heart
  12. Daylight
  13. London Boy
  14. You Belong With Me
  15. You Need To Calm Down
  16. Long Live
  17. We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together
  18. Welcome To New York
  19. invisible string
  20. Begin Again
  21. Gorgeous
  22. willow
  23. Mary’s Song (Oh My My My)
  24. Sparks Fly
  25. Ours
  26. Stay Beautiful
  27. Delicate
  28. I Think He Knows
  29. Love Story
  30. Enchanted
  31. long story short
  32. Holy Ground
  33. Mean
  34. Everything Has Changed
  35. You Are In Love
  36. Fearless
  37. Jump Then Fall
  38. Dress
  39. Hey Stephen
  40. Superman
  41. State Of Grace
  42. Call It What You Want
  43. How You Get The Girl
  44. New Year’s Day
  45. ivy
  46. Change
  47. The Best Day
  48. Cruel Summer
  49. End Game
  50. I Forgot That You Existed
  51. Don’t Blame Me
  52. ...Ready For It?
  53. mirrorball
  54. It’s Nice To Have A Friend
  55. Speak Now
  56. gold rush
  57. SuperStar
  58. dorothea
  59. The Other Side Of The Door
  60. New Romantics
  61. The Way I Loved You
  62. The Man
  63. betty
  64. Blank Space
  65. Girl At Home
  66. This Love
  67. So It Goes...
  68. cowboy like me
  69. the last great american dynasty
  70. Untouchable
  71. I Know Places
  72. Treacherous
  73. Better Than Revenge
  74. I Did Something Bad
  75. This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things
  76. Picture To Burn
  77. Cornelia Street
  78. The Story Of Us
  79. closure
  80. False God
  81. Tim McGraw
  82. Out Of The Woods
  83. Look What You Made Me Do
  84. Bad Blood
  85. Dancing With Our Hands Tied
  86. Wildest Dreams
  87. Wonderland
  88. Style
  89. peace
  90. Fifteen
  91. Red
  92. cardigan
  93. All You Had To Was Stay
  94. the lakes
  95. I Knew You Were Trouble
  96. A Place In This World
  97. Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince
  98. no body, no crime
  99. Getaway Car
  100. seven
  101. the
... keep reading on reddit ➡

👍︎ 143
📅︎ Feb 01
🚨︎ report
Folklore WB reveal theory

So I read in a comment by u/ErinShay0 that Taylor described my tears ricochet as - “about a lost romance and why young love is often fixed so permanently in our memories. Why it leaves such an incredible mark.”

This was during the cardigan youtube livestream. since then, she seems to have leaned in on the theories that it's actually platonic (tho she never outright says it), and about the betrayal of a 'companion' or 'friend.'

where would she get this interpretation from? online. fans immediately speculated that mtr was about Scott borchetta cause of the stolen lullabies line. Taylor later said that she loves reading fan theories about the songs, and jack texts her 'Tumblr paras'. that means that PR wise, Taylor would've known that people would try to attribute her songs to a person, as usual. so she said that they're fictional, and waited for fan theories to pop up. that way, when she did LPSS, she would likewise confirm/deny certain theories, the way she wanted.

and that's when WB comes in. given by how messy and awkward the reveal was in LPSS, and that jack seemed genuinely surprised she was doing it, shows to me that it wasn't planned much beforehand. most fans believed WB was Joe, although a few thought of harry styles and ed sheeran. however, I don't think they'd be taking credit for something they didn't do, so she just decided to roll w Joe.

this is a really interesting PR tactic, considering that Taylor painstakingly plans everything in advance. but it also looked so messy.

agree/disagree? what could be some other instances of this?

👍︎ 32
📅︎ Feb 21
🚨︎ report
Folklore + Evermore "bundle vesion".

Yesterday I got my two copies of last years albums and my mind asked itself if I would like to see an special edition 2 disc (or 4 for vinyl) version of the albums meaning they being packaged together. Would you like so see something like that too? Would you name it a certian way or just folklore/evermore? Maybe it could contain a third or fifith disc with the cardigan + willow remixes. Not sure how it would work i'm just dreaming.

Making it even bigger if it ever was an evermore longpond and those films could be taken out of D+ it would be a massive cash in to make a ultimate edition of the albums from this era to close the era itself.

Imagine: Folklore and Evermore in CD, The singles remixes in CD and both films in DVD with a little something else like a book with high resolution pictures from both album's photoshoots and film stills from the live sessions and maybe a "handwritten" essay by Taylor about the whole experience of doing these records and filming them (in the vain of the Lover notebooks). That would make a lovely boxset, I think. Expensive to venus and back but lovely.

👍︎ 29
📅︎ Feb 10
🚨︎ report
My life story. Trigger warning - abuse, hyper sexuality hospital self harm etc.

December sixteen, two thousand and four. My fucking birthday. Woo, I guess. No, not woo. Every fucking year. December sixteenth. Two thousand and five Two thousand and Six Two thousand and Seven Two thousand and Eight And so on. I become a year older. Meaning I have been on this earth for another Three hundred and sixty five Days. And I resent it Every Fucking time. Happy birthdays, Cake, Gifts All to celebrate another year I’ve failed To kill myself.

Another year of pain Corruption And suffering.

Another year. These words are exhausting to write.

Two thousand and four. My parents Tried and had me Brown hair Brown eyes A toothless, wholesome smile Little did they know That their daughter Would lose that glistening glint in her eyes In all But A Matter of Time.

I was different. I didn’t play much. I just had this system And if it was broken - if my building blocks weren’t in the right order For example I would break down. Screaming, crying What my parents passed off as a temper tantrum.

A while later I started school. And I met a girl. Blonde hair, blue eyes And little did I know, she would change my life for the better. She was my only friend. And I didn’t feel different around her. I could just be...me. Without having to worry about what she would think, because Frankly - She didn’t care. She didn’t think me weird. She treated me like a normal person. And it’s the most freeing feeling I’ve ever damn felt.


My sister was born. I loved her with all my heart and still do.

We fought. We laughed. We cried. But soon it came crashing down.

My parents divorced. I don’t know what year. I don’t remember it happening, either. Then again, when do I ever remember my “childhood?”

Not now, that’s for sure.

I was diagnosed with autism at 7. But I hadn’t been told yet.

My first meltdown. Again, I don’t remember much. I was seven. It was our aunties wedding. I misbehaved and couldn’t go to the party after.

So I pulled a knife, holding it to my stomach and pointing it at my mum, and sister Who was sobbing And I felt different.

So, the demise i mentioned earlier? Well, the person who started it all

Seemed innocent at first. To my naïve mindset, anyway I don’t remember much. I do remember he had curly short black hair And blue - grey eyes I got lost in Every single time. He was the only person in my whole life I felt comfortable making eye contact with. Maybe that’s why I hate it now. Maybe that’s why I now also have a thing

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